Chapter 19 When loss becomes a cycle, how much will the heart hurt?
Snowball twitched a few times, and his big blue eyes gradually dimmed.
Gu Manman's fingers trembled as she stroked its fur, tears falling silently down her cheeks.
The little guy who would wake her up every morning with his little paws was now getting colder and harder.
Snowball's eyes were closed. He would never look at her with that arrogant look again, nor would he do all kinds of funny things to make her happy again.
It lay there quietly, as if it was asleep, but would never wake up again.
Tears dripped on Snowball's white hair.
This was not simply the loss of a pet, but the loss of one of the few people in her life who loved her unconditionally.
The crowd on the set quietly dispersed, leaving her some private space.
Only the director remained where he was, his face full of guilt and helplessness.
"Teacher Gu, I'm so sorry..."
Gu Manman gently closed her eyes and buried her head in Snowball's soft hair, her tears continuing to fall.
The girl from the props group handed over an exquisite little wooden box with beautiful patterns carved on it.
"Teacher Gu, this is the best box we can find..."
Gu Manman nodded, held back her tears, and gently placed the snowball into the box.
Her fingers trembled as she stroked Snowball's forehead, which was once his favorite place to be touched.
"Thank you." Her voice was barely audible.
Gu Manman walked out of the studio holding the box and saw a familiar black car parked on the side of the road.
Lin Jinyun's voice sounded clear, and she told Feng Mingzhou how the white cat had attacked her for no reason and how it had scratched the back of her white hand with its sharp claws.
Feng Mingzhou frowned slightly, and leaned over to check Lin Jinyun's injuries. His eyes were full of concern, the corners of his mouth sank, and the wrinkles between his eyebrows deepened.
Gu Manman bit her lower lip and felt dizzy.
Lin Jinyun described with tears in her eyes how "barbaric and uneducated" Snowball was, but there was a smile of victory on her lips.
Feng Mingzhou listened attentively, patting Lin Jinyun's shoulder to comfort her from time to time.
There they stood, so well matched, so well matched.
Feng Mingzhou finally looked up and his eyes met Gu Manman's wet eyes.
For a moment, his expression seemed to soften, but it quickly returned to its hardness.
Lin Jinyun followed closely, she held Feng Mingzhou's arm, her voice trembling with fear, complaining that the dangerous cat almost hurt her eyes.
She leaned on Feng Mingzhou's shoulder, their posture very intimate.
Feng Mingzhou's ears were filled with Lin Jinyun's words, but his eyes never left Gu Manman.
Gu Manman saw his Adam's apple rolling up and down, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he just nodded slightly, turned around and opened the car door for Lin Jinyun.
Before Lin Jinyun got into the car, he turned around and gave Gu Manman a smug look.
Gu Manman hugged the wooden box tightly in her arms, feeling Snowball's body temperature dissipating bit by bit, just like the obsession in her heart was slowly cooling down.
Feng Mingzhou took one last look at Gu Manman, his eyes filled with a lot of indescribable emotions. In the end, he just sat in the driver's seat silently, started the engine, and drove away slowly with Lin Jinyun.
Gu Manman stood there, watching the black car disappear around the corner. She looked down at the wooden box in her arms and suddenly felt very tired, really too tired.
She wiped the tears from her face and walked straight to the taxi parked on the side of the road.
The door to the apartment closed behind her and a familiar silence enveloped her.
Snowball's toys - little mice, balls of yarn and cat teasers - were scattered around the room.
Gu Manman knelt on the floor and placed the small wooden box on the coffee table.
She opened the box, gazed at Snowball's peaceful sleeping face for the last time, and then gently closed the lid.
Snowball's little red ball rolled out from under the sofa and stopped at her feet.
That was Snowball's favorite toy. Every morning he would bring it to her bedside, pat her face with his paw, and ask her to get up and play with it.
Gu Manman picked up the ball and held it in her palm. Memories came flooding back - the way Snowball rolled in the sun, how it lay on the windowsill and watched the rain intently, and how it squatted at the door every time it waited for her to come home.
Her sadness finally broke through, and she hugged Snowball's little red ball and burst into tears.
Snowball, never come back again.
Gu Manman lay in the dark without turning on the lights.
The doorbell rang suddenly.
Gu Manman didn't stand up. She didn't want to see anyone.
The doorbell rang three times in a row, followed by the sound of a key turning.
The door was opened from the outside.
Feng Mingzhou stood there, wearing a well-ironed suit, looking as handsome as usual, as if he was attending some important banquet.
"Why don't you turn on the lights?" His voice was low and calm, and he reached out and pressed the switch in the living room.
The light from the incandescent lamp stung Gu Manman's eyes. She squinted her eyes slightly, not wanting him to see her swollen eyes.
"I rang the doorbell several times." Feng Mingzhou frowned and glanced around the living room.
"Where's Snowball?" he asked, taking off his coat and draping it over the armrest of the sofa. "I heard something happened on the set today. Jinyun said Snowball hurt her."
Gu Manman sneered and did not answer.
She pointed to the exquisite little wooden box on the coffee table: "Snowball is inside. He is dead."
Her voice was eerily calm, like a pool of stagnant water.
Feng Mingzhou walked over quickly, squatted in front of her, and reached out to hug her: "Manman, I don't know..."
Gu Manman suddenly stepped back and avoided his arm.
She smelled Lin Jinyun's perfume on him and felt nauseous.
"Manman," Feng Mingzhou's voice was a little lower, "I really didn't know Snowball was dead..."
Just at this moment, his cell phone rang, and the shrill sound broke the frozen air between the two of them.
Feng Mingzhou glanced at the caller ID and frowned.
He strode towards the balcony, his voice very low, but Gu Manman still heard the three words "I'll be there soon".
When Feng Mingzhou returned to the living room, his expression had returned to calm, but there was a hint of anxiety in his eyes.
"I have something urgent that I must take care of. I'll be with you tomorrow morning, okay?"
Gu Manman stared at the ground in silence without looking up. Feng Mingzhou sighed, strode to her, and held her face in his hands. His thumb gently wiped the remaining tears in the corners of her eyes, and his warm lips gently touched her forehead.
The phone vibrated again, Feng Mingzhou let go of his hand, his eyes flickering. He took a last look at the wooden box of snowballs on the coffee table, turned around and strode towards the door.
The door closed behind her, and Gu Manman heard the elevator door open and close, followed by complete silence. She was alone in the light, feeling even lonelier than in the dark.
People always say that loss is a normal part of life.
But no one told her how heartbreaking it would be when loss becomes a cycle.
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