...
July 5th, cloudy.
It's cloudy again today, and I feel even worse. I don't know if it's the weather, but I can't sleep because I feel so unwell. I originally wanted to stay quietly in the living room without disturbing them, but I couldn't resist, and I woke them up.
But this time, I really wish they were by my side, because I'm so scared, I feel like I'm going to die.
I don't want to die...
I suddenly want to go to Sunshine Park. I want to go home, I want to see my childhood home.
[I'll pester Xu Ruo to take me tomorrow, okay? (#^.^#)]
[By the way, I heard a term today: resurrection scroll. I wish I could have a resurrection scroll if I died.]
...
It is said that people have a premonition before they die.
Perhaps Yan Yin already had a feeling when she wanted to go to Sunshine Park.
So she said she didn't want to die.
She wanted a resurrection scroll.
I just didn't realize it. If I had, maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way.
"Xu Ruo, you don't need to blame yourself."
Before I knew it, Song Qingrong arrived. She sat down next to me and gently took my hand. Hearing her words, I smiled and said, "Yan Yin must have been very scared before she left, right?"
Song Qingrong remained silent.
I carefully put the note away, and then said, "Qingrong, let's break up?"
"Why?" Song Qingrong was still holding my hand, but I could feel that she was using more force, and her body was trembling.
I didn't dare look at her, so I pulled my hand away, stood up, and said, "I've already experienced a life-or-death separation once, and this feeling is too painful."
"Although I was prepared from the moment I learned about Yan Yin's situation, I only realized now that even with all the preparation, I am still so sad that I can't breathe."
"So you're going to break up with me?" Song Qingrong looked at me with red eyes. "I know you have feelings for Yan Yin, but I don't mind. I told you, she's a very good girl!"
"But now... now she's gone!"
“It’s not because of her.” I shook my head and smiled wryly. “You still don’t believe what I told you before, right?”
I said seriously, "I don't have much time left either."
"I really don't have much time left."
“I used to think I could stay with you like this until I die, but now I realize I can’t.”
"I simply can't do it."
"I dare not think about what you would do if that day came."
Do you understand?
“Xu Ruo, I said I would be there no matter what, I would always be by your side!” Song Qingrong stood up and looked at me, her face full of determination, “If you really are going to die.”
"Then I also hope that I will be the one to bury you in the end."
"I might actually be as sad as you said."
"But I don't want you to leave all alone. Even if you really don't want me anymore, do you think I'll be happy?"
"I might go crazy, you know?"
"I'll be thinking about you all the time, where you are, whether you're still here, and if you're gone, will you be lonely..."
"That feeling would be a hundred or a thousand times more painful for me than watching you die right before my eyes!"
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