Chapter 57
Xi Ze turned the report page with a sullen face, only to see a chip stuck to the upper right corner of the next page, which was the video recording of the interrogation that year.
He played the video several times from beginning to end to confirm that the protagonist in it was indeed Yael.
The male insect was still very young at that time, with the familiar gentle and firm expression. He stood alone under the light, as brave as a single-handed warrior.
He ended this deliberate conspiracy with just three sentences:
"I am not willing to say that he is pardoned."
"Because he is innocent."
“That’s what I’m asking for.”
Cutting nails and cutting iron, no doubt about it.
All the voices that wanted to confuse right and wrong, the gloomy curses of failed plans, were suppressed.
That inexplicable power of fear is transmitted to every viewer through this long-standing video record, bringing with it a thrilling feeling that makes their hearts tremble.
Cizek stared deeply at Yael in the image.
It was as if I had penetrated time and space and saw the completely unfamiliar world I had just arrived in. Although I was terrified and panicked, I still tried my best to stand out and use the language I had learned with great difficulty to try to protect——
That firm and shining soul.
No wonder.
No wonder Gallagher chose to surrender so early. He must have heard that Yael was on his side and hoped to repay the favor.
…
"Wait, wait!"
Bai Lang couldn't help but interrupt Gallagher's narration and looked at Yael, who was holding his chin with his hand, in disbelief.
"I also heard about that incident on Bianyuan Star. Could it be that the person involved is His Majesty?!"
"Yes."
Gallagher took over his words, his expression a little stiff, and he lowered his eyes and dared not look at the male insect.
"If Your Majesty finds this troubling, let's end this meeting here."
"No, I was quite... grateful to you at that time."
The taste of pure chocolate still lingers on the back of my tongue, with a hint of bitterness.
Thinking that he would be able to see Xi Ze soon, he was in a good mood today and didn't mind talking about the messy past.
Gallagher was stunned for a moment. "Thank you...?"
Yael lowered his eyes and recalled the situation at that time.
"Yeah, if it weren't for you, I might not have gotten out of that island-like terror so quickly."
It was like being lost in an endless ocean. There were no stars or moon around, and everything was distorted and strange. All that was left was myself, who would not get the response I wanted no matter how loudly I shouted.
The fear of alienation is deepening every minute among the sea dwellers with various appearances, personalities and purposes.
But if a wounded whale floats by at this moment——
He would temporarily forget his current situation, cheer himself up a little, try hard to find tools and medicine, and save the whale first.
"It was because I had something to do that I shifted my focus to learning a new language and how to get you out, so I felt better afterwards... hehe."
The male insect in front of me has a pair of very beautiful eyes, thick and long eyelashes, and the curve of the tail of the eye is soft and smooth.
When not smiling, you may seem cold, but the moment you smile, it is like a flower suddenly blooming in the snow. Therefore, many insects will ignore the scene deep in the eyes.
It was a darkness so dense that not even much light could penetrate it. It was like an empty dry well. Staring at it for a long time would even make you feel creepy.
Gallagher was not fooled by the male insect's smile, but looked directly into the depths of his pupils, his expression inexplicably becoming focused and gloomy.
"Are you feeling better now?"
Have you truly eliminated that fear and started to live peacefully in this world?
But Yael did not answer him. He put away his smile and pretended to be thoughtful.
"Why did the Major General come here? Is it just to reminisce?"
The male insect tapped the tabletop with his fingers intermittently, as if he had sensed that the topic was something he didn't want to talk about, and he was showing signs of being a little irritated.
Gallagher, who had clearly wanted to escape at the slightest sign of trouble just now, now seemed to be chasing after him relentlessly, with a somewhat stiff tone.
"No, I came here to ask Your Majesty, at that time..."
"I mean, didn't nothing happen for two years after the first split?"
"Um?"
Yael widened his eyes slightly and looked at him.
"Your Majesty has a generous male insect welfare guarantee, good living conditions and security, learned the language here and entered school. I heard that because of his excellent grades, he was able to enter the research institute for internship in advance..."
As if knowing what the female soldier wanted to find out, a trace of panic flashed in the male insect's eyes.
But before he could stop her, Gallagher looked up at him and said softly:
"Why did you choose to hurt yourself later?"
Swish.
Another page was turned, but the hand suddenly stopped the next second, frozen in disbelief for a long time before it trembled and touched the photos.
Those bloody, horribly damaged, and unbearable images were like sharp needles that instantly pierced the trembling and contracted pupils, reflecting an extremely tragic scene.
"...Hero Lord?"
His whisper was soft, trembling and disbelief, and disappeared silently in the cold air.
The hand was shaking so much that it could hardly hold the thin paper. It took several attempts to pull out the stuck photo, but it was so stiff that the photo fell onto the table.
The blood that spread on the snow-white sheets had already dried up, presenting the decayed appearance of dead plants exposed to the sun.
There is not even a trace of vitality and energy in the picture, only miserable pain and sorrow.
The male insect still looks calm and peaceful, with his eyebrows and eyes even relaxed, as if he had simply fallen asleep. When the morning sun sets, he will open his beautiful black eyes.
But his moist lips turned pale from blood loss, making him seem like he was frozen in a black and white painting, like...
The last photo ever left in the world.
After a moment, Xize pursed his lips tightly, poured out a large pile of photos, and reached out to piece together the enlarged parts one by one.
After searching through countless chaotic snapshots, I finally found the source of the male insect's bleeding amidst the blood-stained mess.
He finally knew how the male insect got the cut on its left wrist.
The marks were messy, obviously from a novice using a sharp weapon, but each one was deep enough to show the bone, almost severing the tendons and bones, clearly revealing the firm determination.
Smart homes and power supplies were forced to shut down, doors and windows were tightly closed, and there was leave approved in advance...
Yael made all preparations to delay being discovered as long as possible.
He left himself no way out.
Xi Ze stared at the photos in a daze, his drooping eyes turned red, his breathing became rapid and heavy, and his Adam's apple rolled violently.
Amidst the sharp buzzing, he heard the sound of his frozen heart being struck suddenly, and then pieces of it bursting and shattering. The flying ice chips penetrated his flesh and blood, bringing him excruciating pain that was almost like tearing out his bones.
When the mind-shaking pain subsided a little, what came over me was a huge fear and panic.
The male insect woke up yesterday, and Bai Lang told him that the male insect already knew his identity... He didn't seem to be in a very good mood.
When the male insect woke up, he was not there, even though they had gone through the secondary differentiation together... Would the male insect feel lonely and lost?
Do you still have thoughts of self-harm?
Chaotic thoughts flooded into his mind. Xi Ze forced himself to control his trembling fingers and pressed the communicator on the desk.
"Go at full speed and try to reach your destination in the shortest possible time."
His order was urgent and firm, and the driver immediately responded with a "yes", filled up the power source, and forced through the long distance of time and space with a loud roar, leaping towards the destination.
What to do now...except to go back as soon as possible...Oh, right.
Xi Ze leaned on the table and thought for a while. He didn't have time to put the scattered photos back. He woke up the computer in a panic and opened the chat page with the male insect.
…
“Beep beep.”
The computer made a slight vibration, waking Yael from his trance. He apologized and turned on the computer.
【Xize 2.0: How are you now? 】
[Xize 2.0: Lord, do you feel uncomfortable somewhere? Or... not very happy? ]
【Xize 2.0: I'm sorry that I've been too busy recently and not with you, but I've arranged Bai Lang and the guards to be by your side. They are all trustworthy. If you want to eat or play anything, you can tell Bai Lang. Don't hold it back. He will do his best to satisfy you. But it's too dangerous outside now, so you can't go out yet. I'll take you out to play later, anywhere is fine. Also, I've contacted a special chef to make your favorite food and desserts, but I'm too busy these days and the team hasn't arrived yet. It should be ready after you leave the hospital...】
【Xize 2.0: Sorry, I was too anxious just now and the messages were very messy. Please don't read them for now and take a good rest. 】
[Xize 2.0: I will be back in about half an hour. Can you wait for me? ]
Yael pondered for a moment, flipped through the ridiculously long message in the middle, and for a moment he wondered who had abducted Xize.
The female insect, who has always been taciturn, suddenly became so abnormal. Did she know something?
Before he could continue thinking, his computer vibrated again.
【Xize 2.0: [Kiss][Love][Love Shoot][Love at First Sight]】
【Cise 2.0: Big cat kisses little mouse.jpg】
I even specifically looked for the little mouse in the emoticon package he posted yesterday. It really makes it difficult for him.
Yael laughed out loud, and the unpleasantness of the wound disappeared instantly, just like the bitter taste of mellow chocolate at the root of his tongue, and finally began to spread a hint of sweetness.
這是雌蟲獨有的味道，苦澀的硬殼中隐藏着夾心的蜜糖，每次品嘗都有新的感覺，讓他忍不住啃了又啃，幾乎有點上瘾了。
【wwn：我現在很好。】
【wwn：你別着急忙慌地趕路，容易出事。】
【wwn：本來就預留了一整天時間等你。一路平安。】
【wwn：[親親][愛心][愛心發射]】
耶爾又說了一聲抱歉，放下光腦，琢磨着怎麽才能給出一個合理的解釋。
他沒注意自己唇角揚起的笑還沒有落下，甚至于眼尾的弧度柔和了些，枯井似的瞳仁微微發亮，陡然就被賦予了幾分鮮活。
“我去調查過了。”
加拉赫突然道，他迎着雄蟲疑惑的目光，神色變得有些懊惱。
“那之後的一年多我一直在調查，是不是有誰越過警衛的保護，對您進行了什麽不好的行為，或者讓您覺得很困擾。”
“但應該是我權限和能力都太低了，一直沒能調查出什麽來，直到等蒙特上将回歸，才借助他的手段清算了那個卑鄙的、膽敢幹擾您一次分化的雌蟲……”
“我的關系網一直很窄，那些暗地裏的手段也玩不會。”
“這次來是想直接問您，有沒有什麽确認的敵蟲，我好直接找機會幹掉他。”
眼前的雌蟲面無表情地說着可怕的話，耶爾卻倏地瞳孔微縮。
他神情怔然許久，沉默半晌後，捂着臉輕笑起來。
“加拉赫，你可真是……”
最後一絲郁氣也消弭無蹤，耶爾心情很好地放下手，擡眼看向神色不自然的雌蟲。
他突然覺得說一說其實也沒關系。
其實不是什麽需要諱莫如深的事，只是那時候心性不太穩定，所以會做一些比較偏激的事，後來他的心态變化了很多，也懶得舊事重提了。
“我那時真的沒有遭遇什麽。”
耶爾露出回憶的神色，神情卻不是嫌惡或者恐懼的，低垂的眼睫微顫，掩去了眸底浮泛的暖色。
“第一次分化的後遺症很快就養好了，因為社會福利豐厚所以衣食無憂。”
“然後進入了大學進修，在一年級就被導師選中做研究，因為導師的勢力很強，其實沒有蟲敢在私下動手動腳……”
“一切都在向着預定的方向走。”
發掘他的導師在領域內很有名，雖然性情孤僻古怪，但本性其實很不錯。
他跟在導師和師兄身後做研究，其實和在地球上的生活相差無二。
甚至因為雄蟲這層身份加成，不再像前世一樣困窘和艱難，雖然也遇到了一些騷擾……但也很快就能得到解決。
生活規律，有事可幹，或許之後還可以養只小寵物。
這是他曾經想象過的，期望能過上的最好的生活了。
……
“好幾個月啊！終于完成收尾階段了！”
“啊啊啊這幾個月累死累活，終于能好好休息了一下了——放不放假啊老師，我覺得我的黑眼圈都要掉到下巴了！！”
“我覺得我的肝已經縮小到米粒大了，再也肝不動了啊啊啊！”
斷斷續續熬了幾個月的夜，實驗室已經沒有不面如菜色的蟲了。
終于将實驗圓滿收尾，那口憋着的勁兒松開，大家頓時頹靡了下來。
驗收完實驗成果，導師臉上也露出一絲笑容，大手一揮直接準了三天的假。
“抓緊時間休息吧小菜雞們，三天之後進行新一輪實驗。”
一些比較急的師兄直接沖出去換了衣服，剩下的搖了搖頭笑着收拾東西，但都一派放松和滿足，整個實驗室充斥着懶洋洋的氣息。
“話說，這三天耶爾打算做什麽呢？”
突然被叫，正慢吞吞收拾東西的耶爾愣了一下，随即笑開來。
“沒想好……可能會大睡一覺吧，說不定一睜眼發現已經第四天了。”
“說得也是！壓榨我們好幾個月，結果就放三天假！鐵蟲也架不住這麽搞啊啊啊——”
耳邊響起熟悉的哀嚎，耶爾跟着笑哼幾聲，将書包甩到了背上，“走了。”
預測到今天不用再熬夜，他提前訂了一家蛋糕店的招牌，這會應該剛好能拿，吃完後洗個熱水澡，一直睡到飽了再說。
耶爾走出實驗樓，被微涼的晚風撲了一身。
這邊的實驗樓位置有些偏遠，所以常年很安靜，但往遠處望去可以看見燈火通明的中心校區，隐約可以聞到食物的香氣和嘈雜的聲音。
剛好是晚上七八點，一天中最為舒适，帶着溫暖的煙火氣的時間。
耶爾慢慢走在路上，有一搭沒一搭地複盤今天的實驗。
頭頂的夜空中懸挂着一輪漂亮的月牙，安安靜靜地懸挂着，那麽像是故鄉的月。
“給您，謝謝惠顧！”
耶爾順利拿到了蛋糕，透過包裝盒透明的一角，可以看見裏面色彩粉嫩的奶油和堅果巧克力碎，香甜的氣息不斷散發出來。
“學長！請請、請您收下！”
他走出不遠，還被臉頰通紅的學弟送了一束花，推拒不下後只能捧了滿懷的清香走回家。
他從熙熙攘攘的熱鬧中心走過，逐漸将那些燈火抛在身後，向着自家小區門口走去。
外面路燈的光被樹影遮擋，投下的光線漸暗，像是一道過渡的分界線，從一片暖黃色的光明走進了昏朦渾噩的黑暗中。
耶爾回頭看了看那燈，卻發現連月亮也被樹影遮住，只能透過斑駁縫隙窺見幾線隐約的月光。
好安靜。
他想。
但這不是會引起恐懼的安靜，而是夾雜着微風拂過樹梢、蟬鳴陣陣的靜谧，似乎能撫慰一切的疲憊和傷痛。
眼前的生活如此安定而平靜，周身的景象多麽溫暖和美滿。
這和故鄉一般無二的彎月和繁星，這清香團簇的花束和香甜美味的蛋糕……還有那麽那麽多可以留戀和贊美的事情。
本該覺得滿足和安定的。
耶爾有些恍惚地感受着周圍的一切。
但這裏是什麽地方？地球嗎？還是蟲族？抑或只是他的一場幻夢？
他突然感到困惑，慢慢地轉了一圈，看着周圍的熟悉又陌生的景物，不知道該想些什麽，又該說些什麽。
總有一種怪異的感覺萦繞在心頭，像是一根細微的毒針，懸在麻木的血肉上方，等待着時機要劃開那顆渾渾噩噩的心。
“有人嗎？”
耶爾倏地提高聲音喊道，又在下一秒愣住。
他本來想用蟲族的語言問“有蟲嗎”的，卻在開口的瞬間再自然不過地用上了故土的母語。
仿佛被遺忘的從未消失，只是被迫隐藏在了靈魂深處，等待着終有一日從紛雜的亂象中探出頭，聲嘶力竭地吶喊，幾乎振聾發聩——
別忘記自己是誰！從哪裏來！
耶爾瞳孔驟縮，在一片死寂中，聽到自己擂鼓般的心跳。
他低下頭，發現胸口處有一個空落落的大洞，每一縷風都可以穿過它，然後帶落灰燼般的渣滓。
他伸手去摸，直接穿過去了，因為沒有樹根般強壯的神經血管、沒有滾燙的鮮紅的血，也沒有構建組成身體的肉。
他想試着拿點什麽東西填塞一下，卻發現連手心也蒼白一片，什麽也抓不住，什麽也留不下。
沒用的。
耶爾突然想。
他再怎麽拼命學習裝作融入，也依舊無可救藥地孤獨着，無法得到拯救，看不到眼前的路在何方，也想象不出來一點未來的模樣。
今天的生活應該就是他能得到的，能感受到的最美好的景象了吧？
可是不夠。
完全不夠，那個空洞一點點都沒有被填補上。
……也許是時候了。
他想，是時候了。
那根始終潛藏在神經中的毒針，倏地洞穿靈魂，将他從自欺欺人和渾渾噩噩的麻木中喚醒。
他再次感覺到了鋒銳至極的痛楚，但那驚醒和苦痛帶來的卻不是憤怒或失望，而是一片頓悟般的平靜，甚至欣喜若狂。
他逐漸加快了速度，從小步走到大步走，又變成了小跑。
跑過小區花壇長長的小徑，幾乎是沖進了樓道中，又兩步并作三步跨過了好幾樓，手裏的蛋糕被撞得面目全非也顧不上。
但站在那扇門前，耶爾又倏地冷靜下來。
“不能太草率了，不然一定會被發現。”
在一分鐘內構思好了完善的計劃，他打開了房子的門，又命令智能家居打開了最高級別的密鑰，确保不會有誰闖入。
猝死，穿越。
死亡，回去。
曾經的生活一片縫縫補補的狼藉，平平淡淡甚至無聊至極，但并非沒有可愛的事和可愛的人，偶爾也會遇見閃着光的幸運。
而且，他有必須要去做的事，也有必須肩負起來的責任，還有最重要的——
是沒有人去掃的媽媽和外婆的墓，有可能被領養也可能流落街頭的湯圓。
那是讓他始終惦念和記挂着的事，以至于讓他無比堅定這一刻的選擇，甚至感到迫不及待起來。
離開這裏，回家去。
As the boiling blood gushed out, gradually soaking the bed beneath him, and as black spots gradually spread across his vision, these were the only two thoughts in his mind.
In the dead silence, he closed his eyes with a smile and hope.
…
"Later, I don't know who noticed something was wrong and called the police. I was then rescued and put on the Red Alert Protection List."
Yael leaned back on the sofa, swung his hands helplessly, and spoke in a light-hearted tone.
"You know that thing. Once you are marked, you are like a marked prisoner. Wherever you go, there will be beeps. It is very annoying. Later, I decided to leave the main planet and hide away."
Gallagher's brows were furrowed and his expression was solemn and serious throughout his narration. He did not relax for a moment until he heard that he was rescued.
"Your Majesty."
He suddenly asked, "Now, do you still want to..."
The sound of the female insect was mixed with the sound of hurried footsteps, which seemed to come from the corridor outside. It was getting closer and closer, and it felt somewhat familiar.
"Do you still have thoughts of self-harm?"
Yael's eyes moved slightly, and he raised his eyes at the sound of the door opening overlapping with the questioning. He met a pair of eyes as bright as molten gold in the sun, and saw that they were almost full of love, worry and anxiety.
With a throbbing heart, he heard his own answer.
“No.”
The author has something to say:
For example, it feels like you have accidentally entered a ghost village in the middle of nowhere, where you are the only living person and are likely to be trapped there for the rest of your life.
You try hard to learn to blend in, but at some point you suddenly realize the emptiness of the world and your own ridiculousness. The nerve that has never relaxed suddenly breaks, and you fall into a kind of quiet madness and despair.
In fact, I just drove myself crazy.
The couple who were forced to separate finally meet each other. The next chapter is a very emotional drama! Turn to the bottom right for a surprise~