Chapter 20: On the twentieth day after retiring from the circle, I laid a funeral for the underworld in the human world...
Jiang Zhen had grown up and lived for thirty-two years, and he had never known that some things could be so mysterious.
In one short night, he and his cousin both dreamed of his mother and his aunt. Not only did the content of their dreams differ little, but they also had a coherent beginning and an end, with clear logic and could be connected together!
God knows how much psychological trauma this phone call from his cousin has brought to him, so much so that when facing Sang Qiqi at this moment, he didn't dare to look into Sang Qiqi's eyes, for fear that the other party would suddenly become something he could not accept during their eye contact.
"Do you have any dentures?" Jiang Zhen coughed lightly and told the truth about his mother's request in the dream. "My mother told me in the dream that my grandfather's dentures were broken recently and he wants to get a new pair."
"Not right now." Sang Qiqi casually pulled a thick leather book from the table, flipped open a few pages, bit off the pen tip, and looked at him: "If you can wait a day, I can make it for you."
Jiang Zhen noticed with sharp eyes that the notebook contained detailed records of different names and contact information, followed by various types of paper products. He knew that this should be a record book specially used to record customers' customized requirements, but he couldn't think too much. His mind was full of - Oh my god, she told me that my mother came to me in a dream in the middle of the night and asked me to buy dentures for my grandfather, and she was not surprised at all!
His expression was calm, as if asking him if he had eaten breakfast!
As if seeing through something, Jiang Zhen immediately nodded his head like a chicken pecking at rice, saying repeatedly, "Yes, yes, of course."
Not to mention one day, he would wait for ten days.
"Okay then. Do you need anything else? If not, I'll pay you."
Jiang Zhen said no, so Sang Qiqi took out a calculator and started typing nine numbers. Her experienced movements, as if she was calculating money, left Jiang Zhen dumbfounded... It must be said that Sang Qiqi, this female star, seems to be good at everything except acting.
"The total is six thousand seven hundred and twenty-three. I'll round it off for you, so six thousand seven hundred will be fine. I'll also give you a little something." After saying this, Sang Qiqi looked outside the door. There were marked parking spaces at the entrance of her funeral service. In one of the parking spaces on the side, there was a not-so-spacious Mercedes-Benz parked. It was the means of transportation that Jiang Zhen used to arrive at the funeral service this time.
So, she said considerately, "There are too many things. I think your car can't fit them all. I'll call a Lalamove for you."
Jiang Zhen was quite satisfied with this arrangement. He had been thinking about how to take these paper figures home.
When he bought the car, he thought that since he was the only one left in his family, an off-road vehicle would feel too spacious, a bit empty. But now... when I need the car, I regret that it is too small. A bigger car is still better!
Jiang Zhen sighed inwardly for a few seconds and asked, "Will Huolala be willing to install this?"
Jiang Zhen thought about how he was very wary of the funeral industry just two days ago.
There are definitely many people like him, and his livestream shows quite a few of them. While most of his fans during yesterday's livestream were impressed by the all-in-one funeral home experience, even requesting that the lucky draw be replaced with a handsome paper-made man, after the livestream ended, he received over a hundred private messages of "condolences," saying he was like a lunatic, unable to understand what was so great about visiting funeral homes.
Others say that he will do anything to attract attention and gain traffic. This time he visited a funeral home, so will he visit a funeral parlor next time?
...The first half of the sentence sounded familiar. If I remembered correctly, he also thought of Sang Qiqi this way before visiting her funeral service.
But the key point is not that the boomerang hit him right between the eyebrows, the key point is that there is a weird brother who specially posted a short video to gather a group of netizens to criticize him just because he explored the funeral industry.
In the video, the man laid out all his medical records and test reports over the years like a swarm of bees, then angrily slammed the table, pointed at the camera, and yelled, "I've had poor health since I was young. I've seen countless doctors and prayed to countless Bodhisattvas over the years, and they all told me to avoid bad luck. But you, on the other hand, I follow your account, but you're like a lunatic, trying to find a one-stop funeral service? Are you afraid that this unlucky thing won't kill me? Do you know that I was so scared that I couldn't sleep all night last night!"
When Jiang Zhen saw this video, his mind was filled with questions and a single thought: "What the hell? Where did this super-powerful guy come from? If you can't watch it, why not just watch the live broadcast?"
But since the other person's medical records and test reports were genuine, Jiang Zhen swallowed all his curse words and didn't intend to argue with the sick person. Besides, it was completely normal to become superstitious after being ill. His cousin's son used to be extremely arrogant, always wanting to curse at everyone he disliked, but after he got cancer, he acted like a good guy, even using mineral water to release animals every day.
After seeing so many of these things, Jiang Zhen felt that as a qualified and warm-hearted anchor, he should try to be considerate of others.
Sang Qiqi was busy dealing with Fu Rui's affairs and hadn't paid attention to the accusations against Jiang Zhen. After hearing the man's concerns, she waved her hand nonchalantly, "We'll find it eventually."
When they couldn't find her, they moved to Jiang Zhen's house one by one.
After receiving the money and leaving his address, Jiang Zhen enthusiastically swore again and again, "I will definitely advertise for you," and then left with a few paper figures that could fit in the car.
Sang Qiqi watched him leave, then stood at the door of the funeral service center and opened the ride-hailing app to post a message for door-to-door delivery of paper products. However, after waiting for a full half hour, no one took the order.
One of them probably had poor eyesight and didn't see clearly what the delivery was. After accepting the order, he called Sang Qiqi. When he heard that it was paper-made, he immediately apologized and canceled the order.
Sang Qiqi: “…”
"Qiqi? What are you doing standing at the door?"
Bai Yingxin, as usual, leaned against the window to breathe in the fresh air when there was no business. When she caught sight of the girl at the funeral service next door, she greeted her familiarly. When she heard that no one was willing to take the order to deliver paper figurines, she enthusiastically offered, "My boss has a car, I'll help you deliver it!"
"Your boss's car? That's not good."
"My boss agreed, right, boss?"
As Bai Yingxin spoke again, a hand reached out from behind and moved her head away. Then, Jingyu's face appeared in the sunlight. His skin was already very white, and the sunlight made it look even more exaggeratedly transparent. He looked directly at Sang Qiqi and made a gesture.
Sang Qiqi: “…”
Damn it, I just helped deliver the goods, but she wanted 20% of the profit.
Is this car made of gold?
Sang Qiqi raised her hands expressionlessly, crossed her two index fingers, and made a ten.
I can ask for a 20% profit, but I have to make ten deliveries.
Jingyu: "..."
Why is this girl so unwilling to suffer any loss?
He threw the car keys to Bai Yingxin, indicating that Bai Yingxin could help deliver the goods.
Five minutes later, Bai Yingxin drove a gray and old Liuling van and turned to the door of Sang Qiqi's store. Sang Qiqi looked the car up and down. If nothing unexpected happened, it was a second-hand car. There were obvious signs of collision on the car, and the front of the car was dented. It was not only old, but also a very battle-damaged version.
Noticing Sang Qiqi's look, Bai Yingxin felt a little embarrassed. "My boss told me this car was in an accident and was just sent to the second-hand market. He bought it at a low price before it could be repaired. But don't be fooled by the fact that this car wheezes like an old man when it's driven. It's still quite durable. It can definitely be used to deliver some goods."
“…I believe you.”
"Then let's go. I'm very familiar with this area. I don't even need to use the navigation. I can even bring back some pork tenderloin pancakes." Bai Ying excitedly invited Sang Qiqi to get in the car.
Bai Yingxin was driving the car, and Sang Qiqi was sitting in the passenger seat. She deeply experienced what it meant to "pant like an old man." In fact, this broken van not only panted, but also had no shock absorption effect at all.
Sang Qiqi's fingers gripped the armrest tightly. Every time she bounced off the seat and fell back down, she felt like her butt was going to be broken into pieces. She also felt like her soul was going to be shaken out of this body.
Fortunately, this period of suffering was not long. Bai Yingxin took a shortcut frantically and finally arrived at the address left by Jiang Zhen within twenty minutes.
It's a cemetery.
At the cemetery gate, Jiang Zhen and his cousin, who had received Sang Qiqi's message, stood under the shade of a tree. Jiang Zhen was a little surprised when he saw Sang Qiqi getting out of the car, looking limp. "Are you okay?"
Sang Qiqi waved her hand: "Not bad."
It didn't really shake my soul out.
The four of them worked together to move all kinds of paper-made items from the van, and within two minutes they had unloaded all the goods.
Jiang Zhen thanked him repeatedly. Sang Qiqi waved to him and got back into the car, continuing the bumpy ride back to the funeral service.
Cousin Jiang finally retracted his stretched neck after losing sight of the van. He tugged at the hem of Jiang Zhen's clothes, his eyes filled with excitement. "Brother, this is the first time I've seen a female celebrity in my life! I just heard Qiaoqiao say Sang Qiqi had plastic surgery, but where did she get plastic surgery?"
Hearing the word "Qiaoqiao", Jiang Zhen slapped the other person and said, "Stop playing with her."
Cousin Jiang groaned and quickly retorted, "I didn't play with her anymore. I only heard about this a long time ago."
"Then let's go. Let's burn these handsome guys for Auntie first, so that she won't come and scold you for being unfilial in the middle of the night."
-
On the way back to the funeral service, Sang Qiqi got out of the van and bought Bai Yingxin milk tea and pork tenderloin pancakes. Passing the two bags through the window sill, Bai Yingxin said, "I remember I need to do something else," and quickly got away from the broken van, saving her life.
Bai Yingxin looked at the figure running faster than a rabbit, was stunned for a second, then silently bit the pancake and continued driving home.
Sang Qiqi decisively picked up a shared bicycle and rode all the way back to the funeral service.
After entering the store, Sang Qiqi immediately took out the sign that said 'The boss is out for something, please wait five minutes', hung it on the door handle, then turned around and went to the underworld, covering her butt all the way and running towards Yama Luo's office in the first hall.
Sang Qiqi's direct superior, whom she calls the boss, is Lin Bo, the King of Hell.
Lin Yanluo was busy with his work when Sang Qiqi banged on the door. He called out, "Come in," but before he could even see who was coming, he felt a rush of wind. Then, his favorite general, Sang Qiqi, slapped the application form in front of him. Meeting his bewildered gaze, Sang Qiqi said succinctly, "I'd like to apply for a car."
Apply for a car?
Lin Yanluo straightened the crooked crown on his head and hesitated: "For delivery, right? But the funds of the underworld are a bit low recently, so it may not be approved."
"Insufficient funds?"
"Yeah," Lin Yanluo pushed a cup of tea towards Sang Qiqi, explaining with his fingers, "You ran into Mengpo these past couple of days, right? She must have told you that she's been assigned an assistant. As soon as this assistant started working, she suggested improving Mengpo soup. In addition to the original leaf milk tea, they've now introduced a fruit tea series. While the kids lining up for Mengpo soup are happy, the cost has skyrocketed."
"And the dogs on Evil Dog Ridge and the chickens on Golden Rooster Mountain have been fighting each other lately, like they've taken the wrong medicine. Not only do we have to pay for their medical treatment, but dealing with all the flying dog and chicken feathers is also a hassle." Lin Yanluo frowned in pain. "The most important thing is that lately, there have been many wandering ghosts secretly bathing in the Forgetful River, making the water stink and filled with snakes, insects, rats and ants, causing complaints from the ghosts who have been reincarnated. The higher-ups have issued a document stating that this should be rectified."
Sang Qiqi: “…”
She pointed at her nose and asked, "What about me? What's the point of me working diligently for the underworld for twenty years? What's the point of the funeral empire I built for the underworld in the human world?"
He slammed his hands on the table and said angrily: "Is it my bad luck?!"
Lin Yanluo: “…”
He dared to swear that if he nodded at this moment to admit that it was Sang Qiqi's bad luck, with Sang Qiqi's extraordinary mental state, she would immediately hang herself on the path that the little ghosts had to take to reincarnate.
After a long silence, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "How could that be? The organization will definitely not forget your contribution to the underworld."
Sang Qiqi pointed at the application form and said, "Then sign it in front of me."
Lin Yanluo: “…”
The two ghosts stared at each other for a long time, and finally Lin Yanluo was the first to give in: "Sign, sign immediately."
-
When Sang Qiqi returned to the funeral service center from the underworld with satisfaction, a middle-aged woman who looked a little tired was standing at the door. After seeing the sign hanging on the door that read "The boss has gone out for something, please wait five minutes", she waited for five minutes, but the boss still didn't come. She tried to call again, but the call couldn't be connected, which made her a little helpless.
Just as she was hesitating whether to leave, Sang Qiqi came out of the house. A gentle smile appeared on her face as she asked, "Hello, how can I help you?"
The middle-aged woman was stunned again when she saw Sang Qiqi.
She hadn't expected such a young girl to emerge from this funeral home. Uncertainly, she glanced behind Sang Qiqi, but didn't see anyone. She pursed her lips and asked, "Are you the boss?"
Sang Qiqi didn't miss the inquiry in the middle-aged woman's eyes. Her expression remained unchanged as she nodded, "Yes, but don't look down on my young age. I can handle funeral services."
"Really? My old lady passed away. Are you able to do things like tidying up her body?"
"Of course, this is the most basic professional quality."
The middle-aged woman felt a little embarrassed when Sang Qiqi mentioned "professional ethics." She raised this question simply because her brother-in-law's daughter, who looked about the same age as Sang Qiqi, had been afraid to even enter the old man's bedroom after learning of his death, let alone touch his body.
While the middle-aged woman was struggling, the cell phone in her hand rang rapidly. She made an apologetic gesture to Sang Qiqi, turned around and walked out the door to answer the call.
"Old Li." The middle-aged woman had just spoken when a tired voice came over from the other side. "The people I contacted here are all unavailable. How's the one over there?"
The middle-aged woman looked back at the young girl standing in front of the cashier counter. Noticing her gaze, Sang Qiqi smiled.
The woman said truthfully, "I am free, but... the boss is a young girl in her twenties, I don't know if she can do it."
"A girl in her twenties?!" The man called Lao Li was obviously unfamiliar with these words.
"Yes, she's very young, but she said she's a professional... Old Li, I can't get in touch with her right now. Why don't we let that young lady try? I see the door is well done, and the house is filled with all kinds of paper crafts. It's really quite professional."
Old Li didn't say anything.
"Old Li?"
"Bring her here first, and I'll talk to her first," said Lao Li. "Even if we explain it to her clearly, it might not work. If she doesn't want to, forget it. We can look for her again."
"OK."
After hanging up the phone, the middle-aged woman hurried back to the funeral service and simply repeated her husband's words: "That's roughly what my husband meant. I'm sorry, little girl, you're really too young. Besides, we can't handle the death of an elderly person casually. If something goes wrong and the elderly person doesn't pass away peacefully, those of us who are still alive will feel guilty for the rest of our lives."
"I understand." Sang Qiqi understood their concerns very well, so she didn't feel offended. Moreover, as the middle-aged woman said, if even a major event like the death of an elderly person could be handled by just anyone, then there would be a problem.
She closed and locked the glass door, then half-opened the roller shutter and said to the woman, "I'll go with you. If you're not satisfied, we can find another place."
"Oh, okay, okay." The woman nodded repeatedly.
The middle-aged woman came on an electric scooter. Sang Qiqi sat in the back seat and listened to the woman introduce herself. Her last name was Wang, so Sang Qiqi called her Aunt Wang. It was Aunt Wang's mother-in-law who had passed away. Aunt Wang described her mother-in-law as a very capable woman with a good personality. She never criticized her daughter-in-law. After decades of living together, the two had become like mother and daughter.
Aunt Wang is old and had been hospitalized for a while, but last night the doctor told them to take her home. They all understood what this meant, but they still wanted to argue and try to find another hospital for the old lady. Finally, while she was still conscious, she said, "Don't bother."
There was no choice but for the group to return home in a hurry.
This morning, it was clear that the old lady was dying, so Aunt Wang's husband, Uncle Li, called the owner of the funeral home in their town. The owner's surname was Liu, and he had been in the funeral business for over 20 years. Therefore, whenever there was a funeral in the town, the first person to go to was Mr. Liu. When Mr. Liu heard that Uncle Li's old lady was dying, he quickly said, "Okay, call me when the time comes."
He made such a solemn promise, but when the old lady finally died, Uncle Li called Boss Liu again, but the other party said vaguely: "Sorry, I have something to do right now, I guess I can't come. So, let me recommend someone to you, it's the same if you ask him."
Uncle Li didn't think much about it at the time. He really thought that Boss Liu had encountered something big. He thought that if he couldn't come, then he couldn't come. Anyway, Boss Liu would not recommend those unreliable people to him.
As a result, when the neighbor who came to help heard about this, he said on the spot: "You believe him? I just heard that the old man of the Feng family is also gone, just like your old lady."
"Yeah, Boss Liu is at Old Feng's right now." Another neighbor was quite surprised when he heard this and asked Uncle Li to confirm again and again. "He agreed when you called him, but now he's telling you he's busy? How can you run a business like that?"
"It must be that the Feng family gave more." After saying this, the neighbor ran to find out the news.
The Feng family member was also a bit clueless and couldn't hold back. When they heard someone mention, "I think the old lady from the Li family just left," they immediately followed up with, "We were lucky to have contacted Boss Liu first."
The man nodded and asked casually, "How much did you pay Boss Liu?"
The people from Old Feng's family immediately pointed out a number.
Okay, now the truth is out.
The Feng family is not short of money. Old Feng guessed that he knew that the Li family had already contacted someone before contacting Boss Liu, so he asked for twice the market price. Boss Liu was torn between fulfilling his promise and doubling the income for less than two seconds, and gave the Feng family a definite reply.
However, he still had some conscience and found another funeral home owner for Uncle Li's family.
But obviously, Boss Liu didn't understand the other party.
As soon as the other party answered Uncle Li's call, he guessed that they were very anxious, and immediately raised the price and asked for an exorbitant price.
"My husband is usually as stubborn as a bull. After learning about this, he was so angry that he kept scolding Boss Liu for being a worthless person. To save face, he didn't plan to hire the person Boss Liu introduced."
Sang Qiqi suddenly understood.
No wonder he ran to the next street to find her.
I guess he found this by following the funeral home on the map.
After driving for nearly half an hour, the electric car finally arrived at Old Li's house. Old Li's family lived in a small townhouse in the suburbs. At that moment, people in white clothes were coming in and out of the townhouse, along with some elderly neighbors and friends.
The first person to notice Aunt Wang's electric bike driving in was her brother-in-law, Li Erhai. He hurried over and asked, "Sister-in-law, have you found someone? I think Boss Liu's actions were a bit excessive, but didn't he introduce us to another funeral director? Although the cost is a bit high, the conditions are acceptable to our family..."
Aunt Wang glanced at him and said unhappily, "You can bear this, but your brother can't. Go tell your brother about this."
It would be strange if she wasn't kicked out by her husband, Mr. Li.
Li Erhai could obviously guess what was going to happen. He laughed awkwardly and was about to say something else when Aunt Wang interrupted him: "Alright, stop talking. I've brought the person here. I'll go find your brother now."
Did you bring people?
Where are the people?
Li Erhai looked left and right behind Aunt Wang, trying to find a middle-aged man with a friendly look, but after looking for a long time, he only met a pair of lively almond eyes.
Sang Qiqi extended her hand and smiled, "Hello, I'm the owner of Sang Qiqi Funeral Service. I've been hired to take care of the old lady's affairs after her death."
Li Erhai stared at the clean white hands in front of him, stunned: "...Ah?"
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