Chapter 33: Retiring on the 33rd Day How dare this bastard impersonate me...
Tongxuan died, Qiao Tianyi was caught and rotten, and there was no news about Xu Jixuan. Sang Qiqi's life suddenly became peaceful.
In the past two weeks, she'd cleared some of her backlog of paper-made figurines and landed two funeral services, bringing in a healthy income. That morning, as she returned to the funeral service on her battered little tricycle after a delivery, a torrential downpour immediately followed, shrouding the world in a pitch-black darkness.
Lying in front of the cash register and watching the exaggerated rain pouring down from the eaves, she felt that today's business would probably end here.
Seeing that it was a sunny day, no one would come to the door again, so he simply closed the door and returned to the underworld.
Every corner of the underworld is bustling with activity.
Arriving at Naihe Bridge, Meng Po and her assistant were so busy making milk tea that their hands were almost leaving afterimages, but the line of people waiting to be reincarnated was still very long.
In the River Styx, many ghosts in uniforms stood on a wobbly boat, holding huge net bags in their hands, and were fishing into the river for the dirt left behind by the evil ghosts who jumped into the river. Most of these dirt were the limbs, internal organs and condensed ghost energy of the evil ghosts.
"Ouch! He's dizzy, dizzy, another one fainted! Take him away quickly!"
Screams erupted, and the masked uniformed ghost on the boat rolled its eyes. With a speed that caught all ghosts off guard, it plunged into the river with a gurgling, bubbling sound. Seeing this, the other ghosts, while suppressing their nausea, scooped the ghost up and tossed him to the shore, where the waiting nurse ghost would drag him away.
The ghost nurse dragged the child while she was masturbating, with a look of despair written all over her face.
Sang Qiqi: “…”
Is the water pollution of the River Styx so serious?
"Sang Qiqi? Why are you here?" A voice called out from behind Sang Qiqi. She turned her head and saw a slightly unfamiliar face. It looked like the ghost messenger who had participated in team building with their First Hall. She hummed and made up an excuse, "I came to take a look."
Then he pointed his finger at the River Styx and asked, "Is the pollution so serious?"
"It's gotten better in the past two days," the ghost said with a sneer. "You didn't see those first two days? The whole underworld looked like it had been bombed by a biological bomb. The stench was blown all the way to Naihe Bridge. The ghosts waiting to drink Mengpo soup were waiting in line there, but they all fainted from the stench and collapsed all the way. Fortunately, the doctors who were originally assigned to Jinji Mountain and Evil Dog Ridge have all returned, otherwise who knows how many ghosts would have died from the stench! But then again, don't you think it stinks?"
Sang Qiqi pointed at her nose.
Two pieces of cotton were stuffed inside.
Gui Cha: "..."
After giving a thumbs up to Sang Qiqi's foresight, the ghost catcher was busy trying to capture the soul.
Sang Qiqi walked all the way from the Styx to the First Hall. When Lin Yanluo saw her, he subconsciously asked, "Why are you back to the underworld? Are you going to approve another application? I'll tell you in advance, I really don't have the money this time."
Sang Qiqi thought that she was rich now, and those gold pieces that had not yet been cashed gave her enough confidence, so she looked down on the trivial things in the underworld.
She said, "It's raining heavily in Jingbei, and since there's no business, I came over to take a look. Why is the Styx in such a state?"
Lin Yanluo: "Don't mention it. Originally, it was just some unhappy little ghosts who would occasionally jump into the river. But a few days ago, a less intelligent executioner in the Sixth Hall was instigated by an evil ghost who was serving a sentence. When the two ghosts fled the underworld, they also opened the door to the small hell."
Sang Qiqi could imagine what would happen next without Lin Yanluo saying anything.
The executioner was instigated to rebel, the gates of hell opened wide, and the evil spirits being tortured inside seemed to have seen the light, and they all tried their best to rush out.
I guess the hell at that time was even more terrifying than the dark sky in northern Beijing today.
Lin Yanluo: "After the incident, Old Peng got the news and was furious. With a roar, he shattered those vulnerable little ghosts into pieces and they all fell into the Styx!"
Sang Qiqi: “…”
Peng Yanluo, the leader of the Sixth Palace, still has the same bad temper as ever.
She asked curiously, "Have all the escaped imps been caught now?"
Lin Yanluo: "We've caught almost all of them, except for the executioner and the evil ghost. They took advantage of the chaos in the underworld to deceive the guards at the Ghost Gate and escaped through it."
Lin Yanluo was extremely upset when he talked about this matter: "He just left and the underworld made trouble. When he comes back, he will deduct all my salary!"
Sang Qiqi blinked innocently and sighed insincerely: "Ah, then you are so miserable, boss." Unlike me, I am rich now and I am not afraid of being deducted money.
Lin Yanluo: “…”
There wasn't a shred of sympathy in his voice, only a sense of gloating excitement.
Lin Yanluo had a terrible headache, and it got worse when he heard her sigh. He rolled his eyes and waved his hand. The wind that blew up pushed Sang Qiqi out of the gate of the first hall.
Sang Qiqi: “…”
You won't even let me laugh, how stingy.
Sang Qiqi patted her clothes, which had been messed up by the wind, and was about to leave when she heard another loud voice from the gate of the First Hall: "By the way, please keep an eye on the executioner and the evil spirit. I'll have the little ghost deliver the specific information to your shop later."
Sang Qiqi dragged out her voice and shouted, "I know, I want extra points!"
Lin Yanluo: “…Okay.”
After leaving the First Hall, she went to the villa of Old Lady Li and Fu Rui as usual. The location of this villa was very good. Even though the Styx was stinking, she could not smell it here at all. There was only the fragrance of fruits and vegetables prepared by the housekeeper.
Fu Rui had been in a good mood the past few days. While peeling an apple for Sang Qiqi, he said to her, "I've discussed this with Li Cheng over the past couple of days. I'm going to invest some of my savings that I previously deposited with A Liu into his new movie. What do you think? Are you interested?"
Sang Qiqi stared at Fu Rui in amazement. She never dreamed that this movie star could still make money through investment after his death.
She was a little tempted, but could only say regretfully, "I don't have any money. I haven't sold the gold flakes I got from Tongxuan yet."
Fu Rui was very generous: "I can lend it to you, or you can just take the gold flakes and exchange them for money with A Liu. I will then give him a dream and you can go find him directly."
Upon hearing this, Sang Qiqi didn't even take the peeled apple from Fu Rui. She immediately floated back to the human world from the underworld and went to Fu Liu to exchange money for investment.
Fu Liu had arrived in Beijing North a week ago, staying in his brother's old apartment. After Fu Rui's accident, Fu Liu hadn't dared to set foot in this place filled with Fu Rui's memories. But now things were different. His brother would appear in his dreams every few days to talk and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. They saw each other more often than when his brother was an actor.
After waking up from a nap, Fu Liu scratched his head and remembered what his brother said in his dream.
...a girl named Sang Qiqi will offer him gold flakes in exchange for money, and he must accept. She also said that she might be a bit demanding, so don't be surprised if you hear her knocking on the door right after waking up.
Beep beep beep.
As soon as I came back to my senses, there was a knock on the door.
Fu Liu: “…”
He wasn't surprised, really not.
Ever since he saw his brother in his dream that day, and his brother asked him to withdraw the money in his account to invest in Brother Li Cheng's movie, and Brother Li Cheng called him to ask about the details of his investment, he completely accepted the existence of strange things in this world.
After opening the door, Fu Liu saw Sang Qiqi, the girl his brother had mentioned.
The girl, who looked only a few years older than him, raised her pretty face, her almond-shaped eyes curved, and greeted him enthusiastically: "Hi, hi, hi, hello Fu Liu, my name is Sang Qiqi. Did your brother tell you about me?"
As she spoke, she threw the sack in her hand to the ground. The clanging sound exploded in Fu Liu's ears. Fu Liu leaned over to take a look. The golden color inside almost blinded his eyes.
"Isn't this... a bit too much?"
"It's okay, just change as much as you can for me."
Fu Liu finally exchanged eight million for Sang Qiqi. He put away all the gold flakes Sang Qiqi had given him, planning to find a jewelry shop in a few days to buy jewelry for Grandma. His brother used to love buying jade for Grandma, saying it nourishes, so she didn't have much gold jewelry. Even though the old lady was old, she still needed to dress beautifully.
With the huge sum of eight million yuan in hand, the first thing Sang Qiqi did was to throw the pink tricycle into the warehouse and replace it with a black pickup truck.
Around four o'clock in the afternoon, the clouds cleared and the rain stopped.
Bai Yingxin squatted at the gate of Sang Qiqi's funeral service, watching the black pickup truck pull up, the door open, and Sang Qiqi's long legs wrapped in overalls step out. She couldn't help but whistle, and flattery poured out of her mouth like it was free: "Sister's legs are not legs, they are the spring water on the banks of the Seine. Sister's waist is not a waist, it is the scimitar of the Death Taker. So handsome, so cool, I want to marry you!"①
Jingyu stood beside Bai Yingxin with his arms folded. Seeing the red hearts in her eyes, he clicked his tongue silently.
Sang Qiqi raised her eyebrows at him, patted her pickup truck, and said to Bai Yingxin, "Come on, even though I can't marry you, I can take you for a ride."
After returning from the drive just in time for get off work, Bai Ying went home happily and contentedly, while Sang Qiqi ordered takeout, and after eating and drinking to her heart's content, she registered an account on the Li Zi live streaming platform, ready to promote her one-stop funeral service.
The name of the account she wanted to register was quite direct and clear, it was Sang Qiqi Funeral Service. However, after clicking confirm, a reminder popped up on the screen saying "This nickname has already been registered."
Sang Qiqi: “?”
Curious, she typed "Sang Qiqi Funeral Service" into Lizi Live's search box. When the page popped up, it was a livestream. Clicking on it, a short man in scruffy clothes spitted at the camera. "Brothers and sisters, yes, you've come to the right place! This is Sang Qiqi Funeral Service. Sister Sang is too busy, so I usually do the livestreams. Don't worry about buying our paper figurines! The quality and variety are guaranteed to be top-notch! Everyone who's bought from us says it's great!"
Sang Qiqi: “?”
When did she hire a monkey to sell goods?
Sang Qiqi's expression gradually became indescribable. When she clicked on the other party's personal information, she found that this account was registered four days ago. Today was also the fourth day of live streaming sales. She didn't know whether the three words "Sang Qiqi" brought traffic or the other party's live streaming work was really good. At this moment, the number of people in the live broadcast room had reached three thousand.
This is comparable to the live broadcast rooms of some internet celebrities.
Sang Qiqi glanced at the comments.
[Is it really Sang Qiqi's store? I've been to Sang Qiqi's offline funeral service store, and it doesn't look like the host's background.]
[It's Sang Qiqi's shop, I can guarantee it. I asked her about it when I went to buy paper figurines offline a few days ago.]
[…I went to her shop a couple of days ago, but I didn’t hear her say, ‘Are you the online trolls hired by the anchor?’]
[I received the product today and gave it to my dad. He loves it! !]
[How do you know your dad likes it? Did you go downstairs to find him?]
[Is Sang Qiqi a person? Let her come out and play with us.]
[Is this fake? The paper crafts the host showed aren't as exquisite as the ones Jiang Zhen showed in his livestream that day.]
[I already told you it's Sang Qiqi's shop. If you don't believe me, you don't have to buy anything. No one's holding a knife to your neck and asking you to pay!]
[Anyway, I received the product. The paper figurine was made with great care and even has Sang Qiqi’s signature on it.]
Sang Qiqi: “……?”
In stark contrast to Sang Qiqi's speechless response, the anchor glanced at the noisy comments and didn't show any guilt. Instead, her smile grew wider and wider. She quickly shouted, "Friends, if you want Sister Sang's autograph, just leave a note. As long as Sister Sang is free, she'll oblige! By the way, where's the assistant? Link number 3 has another batch of the 188cm tall paper-made hunk. Quantity is limited, only twenty. First come, first served! If you miss this opportunity, it will be gone forever! Today's discounts are on everyone. Instead of 599 or 499, just 388 and you can take the hunk home right away!"
Sang Qiqi: “!!”
His father's bastard, not only did he use her name to broadcast live, he even copied the best-selling paper-made macho man in her store!
Her genuine version of the tough guy only sells for 88 each, why is this pirated version selling for 388?
Some of the audience in front of the live broadcast room had the same doubts as Sang Qiqi.
[It's only 88 each in the offline store, and the workmanship is even more exquisite, but you're selling it for 388 in the livestream? Are you trying to steal my money?]
[It's a liar, definitely a liar]
[Has Sang Qiqi become so evil?]
[No wonder celebrities love to promote products now. 388 for a paper-made hunk, that’s easy money to make.]
The anchor smiled and explained, "I saw someone in the comments saying that the offline version is 88, which is true. However, the quality of the offline version that costs 88 is completely different from the 388 version! If you prefer the 88 version, I'll have my assistant create another link. By the way, can you also draw a lucky bag with 888 cash? I hope everyone will participate and boost sales for our store, Sister Sang. Love you all."
Sang Qiqi clicked on the lucky bag and clicked on the lottery.
Two minutes later.
A winning reminder popped up on her screen: "Congratulations on winning the [Sang Qiqi Exclusive] lucky bag. Please confirm your winning details within seven days. If necessary, please provide your contact information and address."
At the same time, the anchor, who had been rambling for a long time, paused his product introduction and took a sip of water to moisten his throat: "I see the lucky bags have been drawn, so let's see which lucky audience member won!"
The man leaned forward to the phone screen, clicked on the lucky bag system, and naturally read out the winner's ID according to the instructions on the lucky bag: "Congratulations to the family of 'Where did this bastard dare to impersonate me' for winning the lucky draw—"
Anchor: “?”
audience:"??"
[Sang Qiqi! Sang Qiqi! Is that you, Sang Qiqi?]
[Hahahaha who picked that ID? Don’t be so funny]
[Looks like a hater of the anchor. Is the anchor still going to give 888 cash?]
[This ID is really suitable for the situation. It would be even more interesting if Sang Qiqi was behind it.]
The host watched the comments scroll by, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and laughed awkwardly. "This family's ID is indeed quite interesting, but I still say that we are from the same family as Sister Sang. There is absolutely no doubt about this. And the winner, remember to leave your name, phone number, and address..."
Before he could finish his words, [How dare this bastard pretend to be me] added:
Name: Sang Qiqi
Mobile phone number: 188****8896
Address: No. 122 Huaishui Street, Fuping District, Beijing North, Sangqiqi Funeral Service
Then, this bastard who dared to pretend to be me wrote again: When will it be delivered?
Host: “…”
He sneered, "Don't tease us, my friend. If you don't need this prize, we can draw other friends. What do you think?"
Which bastard dares to pretend to be me: I think you can go with Qiao Tianyi as a companion.
Host: “…”
In the silence, the host glanced at the assistant, who gave an OK sign. Following a well-practiced blacklisting process, Sang Qiqi was immediately locked in a small black room. Seeing the notification that she had been kicked out of the livestream, Sang Qiqi's head popped up with a big question mark. Without a word, she clicked on the "I want to start broadcasting too" notification and stared at the camera with an expressionless face.
A few seconds later, the audience who had sensed something was wrong in the pirated live broadcast room of Sang Qiqi's funeral service rushed into the live broadcast room of Gou Zai Zi. When the camera was completely occupied by Sang Qiqi's beautiful face, they first gasped, and then burst into earth-shaking laughter.
[I knew it was you, hahahahahahaha]
[Telling a joke, the genuine product was kicked out of the live broadcast room by the pirated version]
[Sure enough, Sang Qiqi is Sang Qiqi. Even at this moment, her character who hates Qiao Tianyi remains unchanged.]
[So that shop really isn't yours?! Damn, I bought over a thousand worth of paper figurines!]
[I bought it too... I bought it yesterday, and it's already on its way, and I can't even return it/crying]
[I sent you a private message two days ago to tell you about this, but you didn’t reply! !]
Sang Qiqi rubbed her nose and, while shouting, "Please follow me! I'm going to kill that bastard who ruined my reputation," she explained, "I was busy the past two days and didn't have time to go on Weibo. Today, I had some free time and wanted to create an account on Lizi Live to promote my store, but I found out the name had already been taken. I searched and realized I actually have a team."
There is no comparison between the pirated Sang Qiqi and the genuine Sang Qiqi. A viewer shouted in the live broadcast room of 'Sang Qiqi Funeral Service', "Sang Qiqi has started broadcasting, and this is the lucky viewer who just won the lucky bag." Except for the internet trolls, most of the living audiences rushed to the scene.
However, in just ten seconds, there were only 120 people left in the live broadcast room, which originally had 3,000 people.
Host: “…”
Another ten seconds later, [Which bastard dares to pretend to be me, No. 2] arrogantly returned to the live broadcast room of 'Sang Qiqi Funeral Service', met the host's surprised and frightened gaze, left a gift worth ten cents and a sentence "Thank you host for marketing and driving traffic for me. This small thank you gift is not enough to show my respect", and left in a cool manner.
Host: “…Fuck.”
After nearly fainting from angering the host of "Sang Qiqi Funeral Service" in front of the entire livestream audience, Sang Qiqi reported the incident and then focused on her own livestream: "Friends who bought paper figurines there, remember to return them for a refund after receiving them, and then come back to check out our products. The price is the same online and offline, so you won't get cheated or fooled... So, does anyone know how to get the link to the shared bike?"
[Are you the anchor or am I the anchor?]
[It can be seen that he started live streaming to sell goods because he was angry]
[Just click here, click there, enter the number and product image, and finally click OK. It’s done. Easy, isn’t it?]
[Ha ha ha ha]
[Our 77 is also very popular, and there are people willing to impersonate us/touching]
[Are there any 188cm tall guys? Are there any 188cm tall guys?!]
I saw the Ultraman urn you made for your little brother. What a talent! You put the ashes in a timer, and your little brother really turned into light.
[Holy crap, I just saw that guy post a video yesterday. Was that urn made by Sang Qiqi?! That’s amazing! If I had a use for it, I’d want one too /doge]
[I've been fiddling with it for so long, but why haven't I posted a link yet? Is it possible? If not, hire me as your assistant and I'll do it for you for free.]
After a long struggle, Sang Qiqi finally successfully uploaded a link to the custom urn. She explained, "I'll list the custom urns first. Anyone interested can click the link and send me an inquiry about the style and price. Large paper items are difficult to transport, so I'll discuss this with the logistics company tomorrow before making a decision."
After she finished speaking, she turned around and moved a few Xiangyeye bags from the shelf, showing them off in front of the camera. "But paper crafts of this size can be shipped free. If you like any of them, I'll give you a link."
[One, two, three, link up]
[Go on, go on, I'll buy two for my grandma]
[Baby, I sent you a private message for consultation. Remember to reply to me after the show ends.]
Sang Qiqi agreed to all the requests, and within two minutes, dozens of orders appeared in her backend. She glanced at them casually, then left the link open without further explanation, instead engaging in a conversation with the commenters. About half an hour later, Jiang Zhen, using his verified account, sent Sang Qiqi two of the most expensive gifts on the Li Zi live streaming platform.
[Brother Jiang is truly in love. After being tormented by that lunatic recently, he still has time to go online and give 77 a gift.]
[Brother Jiang, long time no see, how are you?]
[I heard they even found your house? Is that true?]
Sang Qiqi didn't miss any of these comments. After carefully studying them for a while, she was still confused, so she asked directly, "What's going on?"
Before Jiang Zhen could answer, an enthusiastic fan said:
I know, I know. Jiang Zhen visited your one-stop funeral service before and was pestered by a moron. He said that this behavior was unlucky and that your one-stop funeral service was also unlucky and that it would easily offend his body that was constantly suffering from major and minor illnesses. At first, no one took him seriously when they called him an idiot, but five days ago, his son suddenly posted a video saying that his father was in the hospital for emergency treatment and that according to the doctor, he probably wouldn't live long. His son thought it was Jiang Zhen's fault and posted ten videos in a row to blackmail Jiang Zhen. But the other party was also smart and didn't mention whether it was unlucky or offended. He just said that Jiang Zhen didn't control his fans well and that his father got sick because of the fans' scolding/wipe sweat
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