Chapter 69. [Revised] That day I was so drunk I couldn't tell the difference...
Buzzing—
Wen Xue stood in front of the kitchen counter and neatly placed the chopped fruit into the juicer.
She still didn't quite understand. He had clearly texted her at noon asking which drink she wanted, so why did he bring back a new juicer?
After thinking about it, I guessed that he was thinking about the juice she made on a whim during last year's Chinese New Year.
"So, how is this thing? Is it any good?"
He Yan was slicing ginger and asked without turning his head.
On New Year's Eve, even though they were both homeless, they knew they should spend it well, happily, and peacefully.
"Not bad, much quieter than Nana's voice."
"Okay." He then asked, "Can your dorm use it?"
"Probably not." She thought about the problem for a moment, "The power might be too high, and if we're unlucky and the circuit trips, we might get criticized and given a demerit..."
"So strict?"
He Yan then abandoned the idea of letting her take it back to her dormitory. "Then just leave it here. You can make your own whenever you want to drink it. Remember to keep the warranty card in the box."
His tone was calm and certain, as if she would stay here forever, by his side.
At least for today, Wen Xue didn't want to spoil the mood, so she nodded and said, "Okay."
As she said "okay," she could clearly sense that his mood had improved. Although he still didn't say much, the oppressive atmosphere around him had dissipated considerably.
In winter, it gets dark early. Just after six o'clock, dusk descends and the air is bitterly cold.
Considering that the kitchen light bulbs were not powerful enough, He Yan took the initiative to set up a table in his room for the New Year's Eve dinner. He moved the stove to the doorway and simmered pork rib soup over a low flame. The sweet aroma of corn filled the air, and a table was also full of seafood prepared in various ways.
For a moment, Wen Xue didn't know which dish to start with and was somewhat at a loss.
She said, "There's so much food, the two of us can't finish it. I wish Nana and Wannian were here."
“They should be on the cruise ship now,” He Yan said.
“Yes,” she sighed. “I still remember what Nana said last year—”
She stopped abruptly. She just wanted to remark on how fast time flies. Back then, she wasn't in good health and had to drink several packets of traditional Chinese medicine every day to regulate her body, so she couldn't drink red wine. Nana even said, "Let's wait another year and drink together."
To everyone's surprise, at the New Year's Eve dinner a year later, it was just her and him.
"Want to have a drink?" He Yan asked her. "A client gave me some good wine the other day, you can try it."
Seemingly worried that she might overthink it, he tapped the glass of juice with his finger. "I'll drink this."
Wen Xue was silent for a few seconds, then nodded.
He Yan seemed very happy, but as she grew increasingly shocked, he got up and went to Wu Yuejiang's room next door. A little while later, he came back with a bottle of red wine. When their eyes met, he explained, "What belongs to your brother Yuejiang is also mine."
Wen Xue asked uncertainly, "Is it really safe to drink?"
"Why not?"
As he spoke, He Yan picked up his phone from the cabinet and opened his chat with Wu Yuejiang: [I went to your room and got a bottle of wine]
A few seconds later, the phone vibrated.
He glanced at it casually and handed her the phone.
Wen Xue stared at the screen, speechless.
Wu Yuejiang: [What's going on? Was your account hacked? Why are you being so polite?]
"I'll pour you a glass, let it rest for a bit before you drink." He Yan handed her a clean glass and poured her half a glass, according to her alcohol tolerance. "Drinking this much?"
She looked up and said, "Okay."
"Let's eat first."
"Um."
The occasional whooshing sound of fireworks could be heard outside. Wen Xue pulled a red envelope from her pocket, handed it to him with both hands, and said in a low voice, seemingly a little embarrassed, "Happy New Year. It's not much money, but it's what I earned myself."
This red envelope wasn't brand new; she had handled it many times over the past two weeks.
She thought that once she "returned" to Xicheng, she would definitely make time to come over and give him the red envelope.
He Yan raised an eyebrow in surprise, but still took it. "You didn't put all the money you earned from this part-time job here, did you?"
She fell for it.
She was thoroughly deceived by her senior.
"No." She glanced at him and confessed honestly, "I bought Siyi a lipstick, a set of skincare products for my aunt and my maternal aunt, and I also packed a bag for Yuejiang..."
He Yan paused for a moment: "How much did you pack for him?"
She whispered, "I didn't get as much as you did."
After saying that, she murmured wistfully, "You gave me the most."
He Yan pondered the words carefully, smiled, and placed a piece of meat on her plate. "Whether it's a lot or a little, none of that matters. Just don't overwork yourself. Summer vacation is fine, but there's no need to skip winter vacation just to make money."
He had experienced the hardships of making money, so he didn't want her to go through the same.
When he drove to the apartment building yesterday, he felt a pang of heartache.
He would feel better if she really went back to Haicheng, at least there her family, her best friends, and her home were there.
What's in West City?
“I actually quite enjoy making money.” She carefully peeled the crab shell, speaking in the calmest tone, saying the words that pierced his heart the most. “How come I never realized before that making money keeps you busy and allows you to forget a lot of things?”
This was the most useful lesson she learned from He Yan.
He once took her to the mall to buy beautiful and warm clothes, but she never told him. She was really happy at that time.
Making money requires intense focus; there's no time to think about unpleasant things.
Spending money brings joy; spend it on yourself and on the people you care about.
He was someone she cared about, and she was someone he cared about; they both wanted to spend money on each other.
She picked out the crab meat and put it in his bowl. "You think so too, right? The difference is that you make a lot of money, and I make a little."
He Yan pondered for a moment.
She succinctly summed up his busy life across two lifetimes.
He didn't say anything, and put the red envelope she gave him into his pocket.
The New Year's Eve dinner was eaten slowly, and Wen Xue had enough time to drink. She took a sip and gave a fair assessment: "The taste is a bit astringent, not as good as Sister Jing's."
"She added a drink."
"oh."
She sipped the drink slowly, her cheeks gradually turning red, and her body warming up.
He Yan peeled shrimp and crab for her, watched her drink, and occasionally his gaze would linger on her face—her forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, and lips. He had to restrain himself so that his gaze wouldn't become unrestrained.
I want to get closer.
I want to hug you.
I want to kiss.
But no.
"If you don't like it, then forget it," he said.
Wen Xue shook her head, "We can't waste it, it seems very expensive."
He was amused by her words, and the atmosphere seemed warm and harmonious, just like last year.
call out--
Bang--
The door was wide open. Wen Xue looked out at the night sky following the sound. Fireworks were blooming, adding to the festive atmosphere. She stood up with her cup in hand and went to the corridor to look up at the fireworks. The sound of firecrackers was constant and very lively.
He Yan stood beside her.
She watched the fireworks, and he gazed at her, asking, "Will I take you to see fireworks after dinner?"
"No," she refused softly, still gazing intently at the night sky, which was indeed beautiful. Suddenly, she asked a question that caught him off guard, "After that time?"
If the other person wasn't He Yan, they wouldn't have understood what she was asking at all.
This is a knot in her heart that she can't get over.
She didn't know when his feelings for her began; all she could think of was that kiss after they'd been drinking.
If that was the starting point, then isn't she the absolute culprit?
He Yan withdrew his gaze from her and said in a low voice, "No."
He said, "Even earlier, but if you ask me when, I can't answer that either."
Wen Xue fell silent, then paused for a moment, and said, "I'm sorry."
"Why?" he asked in a deep voice.
"I don't know," she answered honestly, feeling a little dizzy, and the words just slipped out.
He gave a brief laugh: "You apologize just because you didn't know?"
Wen Xue smiled too. She thought, alcohol is a good thing. It really relaxes her tense nerves. No wonder he likes to drink it.
It was a quiet year. They didn't watch the Spring Festival Gala. They stood there for a long time watching other people's fireworks. He Yan saw that she looked dizzy, so he simply took the cup from her hand and offered to take her upstairs to her room.
"Go to bed early if you're sleepy."
"Um."
Wen Xue leaned lazily against the door, peeking out to watch him leave.
In this world, only she truly understands herself. At this moment, she asks herself honestly, was she really so drunk that day that she couldn't distinguish between He Heng and He Yan?
He Yan was walking slowly when he suddenly sensed something. He stopped and turned around.
Despite the distance and the darkness of night, their eyes met.
…
The next day.
Perhaps it was because of the red wine, but Wen Xue slept very well. She didn't dream of He Heng or He Yan. She slept peacefully all night until sunrise.
When I arrived at the kitchen, He Yan was frying eggs.
With a crackling sound, she went over to take a look, and it looked quite convincing, if you ignored the few burnt, misshapen eggs in the trash can...
"I'll have to make do." He said helplessly, "Some restaurants will open tomorrow, I'll have them deliver, or I'll eat out."
Compared to yesterday's New Year's Eve dinner, today's lunch can be described as simple.
However, Wen Xue still had a great appetite and ate a full bowl of rice.
After the meal, He Yan carefully asked, "I need to go to the temple. Do you want to come with me?"
The person who eagerly wanted to follow him last year slowly shook his head this year, saying, "I'm not going."
Wen Xue didn't believe any of this.
Especially since she had gotten him a good luck charm last year, but he ended up getting so badly injured in the US, she wouldn't fall for it again.
Besides, if gods and Buddhas truly exist, and souls do exist, she thought, He Heng wouldn't forgive her, and he probably wouldn't want to see her again.
He Yan was silent for a moment, then said, "Okay. I'll be back soon."
Wen Xue stood on the third-floor railing, watching him drive away. With nothing to do, she stayed in her room preparing lessons, feeling really bored. So she simply grabbed her phone and keys and went out. Unlike the terrible weather last year, this Lunar New Year's Day was sunny and bright.
She didn't intend to drive, and wandered aimlessly along the street.
It seems that only when the body is moving does the mind stop.
Unbeknownst to her, she had walked for a long time. She couldn't tell if it was because she had an excellent memory and remembered every detail of her experience with He Yan, or if there was a pair of hands guiding her in the dark. She actually arrived at the entrance of that park.
She still remembers feeling a long-lost sense of satisfaction when she woke up in the car that day.
The sky was blue, the sun was warm, and his clothes covered him.
The weather was nice, and there were quite a few people visiting the park.
She followed the crowd in, strolling slowly around the lake until she stopped in front of a vending machine. She couldn't help but smile, put in a coin to buy a bottle of mineral water, and then sat down on a bench not far away across the lake.
Looking at the shimmering lake and the tourists in the duck boats, her heart seemed to calm down as well.
She knew very well that all her emotions stemmed from those three words.
I shouldn't, I can't bear to.
They shouldn't have stayed.
I can't bear to leave.
These two "three-word phrases" have the same power and destructive force, which is why they have created the current dilemma.
After resting enough, she strolled around the park and came out from another exit. To her surprise, she found that the fruit shop across the street was open. She bought a bag of oranges and hailed a taxi to go home.
The car came to a stop outside the tenement building.
After paying, she got out of the car and walked into the yard. She immediately saw the dusty gray Jeep and paused for a few seconds. For some reason, she felt inexplicably uneasy. She quickened her pace as she walked in, took out her phone, and tried to turn on the screen, only to find that the phone had run out of battery and shut down automatically.
The events of the past two days have been so chaotic that she has no time to attend to many things.
For example, replying to New Year's greetings from classmates and friends.
For example, charging a mobile phone.
She hurried into the stairwell, then suddenly stopped, looking at He Yan sitting on the steps, making phone calls.
He looked disheveled; the hem of his crisp coat was covered in dust.
His hand gripped the phone tightly, veins bulging, as he tried his best to suppress his emotions. When he looked at her, he forgot to conceal the true feelings in his eyes, which were frighteningly cold.
She suddenly panicked: "My... my phone is dead."
He Yan didn't even know how many phone calls he made.
In the past, he wouldn't have thought much of it, but today, he rushed back from the temple and couldn't get her door open no matter how hard he tried. When he called her, her phone was off. His mind went blank, as if she had taken away the little rationality he had left.
"He Yan..." she called out softly.
He stood up stiffly, took a step down, his eyes deep and unfathomable, filled with restraint.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she instinctively stepped back, forgetting that there was a step under her feet. She almost lost her balance, but an arm quickly grabbed her. Whether it was due to inertia or his own exertion, she was pulled into his arms, enveloped by his cool breath.
He loosened his grip, and the uniformly sized oranges—the ones he had once bought for her—rolled all over the floor.
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