Chapter 133 Chapter 133 Fly, Old Zhao Family
The broom is stained with shit, AK is reincarnated.
Wang Xue is holding such a heavyweight nuclear weapon in her hand, and has just used practical actions to show everyone that she has not signed the Convention on the Non-Use of Nuclear Weapons. Now she looks very angry and hot-blooded. Who would dare to provoke her?
Didn’t you see that the two chickens in Grandma Sun’s house that were originally flying and jumping are now quietly and timidly returning to the chicken coop?
The yard and outside the yard were filled with heads, but at this moment it was surprisingly quiet. The only sound could be heard: the whistling northwest wind blowing over the eaves, blowing the long icicles under the eaves down, smashing into pieces on the ground, becoming the only sound on the scene.
The crisp sound also made Zhao Weijun suddenly sober up from his anger. He looked at Wang Xue and her weapon with fear and tried to calm his voice: "Put down the broom first."
Wang Xue sneered and squeezed even tighter as if to protest: "Do you think I'm a fool? If I let go, won't I let you guys squeeze me?"
Zhao Weijun habitually took a deep breath to calm himself, and then the overbearing smell in the air rushed into his nose, and he almost ejaculated.
My mood wasn't calmed at all.
Tiedan was howling in the room, and his mother across the street was also howling as the crowd was trying to pull out the dung scoop. The howling of wolves and ghosts, coupled with the messy yard and the stinking air, made it look like a disaster scene.
Zhao Weijun couldn't hold back his anger. His face was livid and he angrily said, "Wang Xue, what on earth do you want to do? It's New Year's Day, and you come to our house and beat up the children and the elderly, and even throw water... Is there anyone who would seek bad luck like you?"
After all, he had been a soldier for several years and was a platoon leader. When he was angry, his brows were gloomy and his face was dark, which was still very intimidating.
Not to mention the onlookers outside, even the fearless Wang Xue was frightened for a moment.
But almost the next moment, her shocked shock turned into deeper and more intense anger.
"Why are you yelling at me? How dare you yell at me?!" She was a person who would make trouble even if she was unreasonable. Moreover, she really felt that she was wronged, so she yelled louder than him, "Why the hell don't you ask your little bastard what he did?!"
"You are a grown-up girl, why are you arguing with a child? It's New Year's Day, even if Tiedan really did something, you should just talk to him nicely. How can you do this?"
At the door, the guy who likes to stand on the moral high ground and talk without any hesitation started preaching.
Yet it also attracted the approval of many people - indeed, attacking with a dung scoop was still too advanced and too explosive. If someone learned it, how would they fight in the future?
Besides, it wouldn’t sound good if this got out!
——Which team are you from?
——The one who used a dung scoop to fight the brigade
How ugly!
"Burn your harvest spiral farts!"
Wang Xue roared, raised the broom above her head in anger, and slammed it in his direction with the force of thunder.
Touch it.
"Sand and dust" mixed with ice and snow flew up and swept past like a sandstorm.
The people at the door were like a bunch of quails, screaming and retreating, rolling and crawling.
"What the hell are you doing!"
"Oh my god, we didn't provoke you, why are you shooting at us?!"
"It almost splashed on me!"
Some even started cursing with bad tempers.
Wang Xue, who aroused public anger, did not feel guilty at all. She spat on the ground and continued to act crazy.
"Oh, it splashed on you, and you got angry and started to make a fuss. I was just talking to him peacefully, and that little bastard threw a pile of shit at me, with a firecracker stuck on it, and it exploded... my face, my new clothes..."
Wang Xue was a woman like a female eagle. She couldn't help shedding two lines of tears when she said this. She wiped them away suddenly, and the fierce light in her eyes reappeared: "How can you tolerate this? What's wrong with me slapping him twice, huh?!"
“Ah, this…”
The crowd of onlookers who were originally chattering and shouting fell silent.
This, this, this is really unbearable.
Tiedan is a kid too naughty. He deserves a lesson.
The old man who was preaching from a moral high ground at the beginning was a little embarrassed, and said stubbornly with the airs of an elder: "We are all from the same village, be more generous..."
Wang Xue held up a large broom and stirred the puddle on the ground like she was dipping a brush into ink: "Don't stand here and talk without any hesitation. Come on, get yourself stained first, and then we'll see if you're magnanimous enough!"
The old man was like a chicken with its neck strangled, his neck was still moving vigorously, but he didn't utter a word.
The people around him disappeared like the receding tide, leaving a circle around him - if they started fighting, they would be in trouble.
The main thing is that Wang Xue looks like someone who can do this.
Really, they grew up in the Dongfeng Brigade, a place where many talented people come from, and they have been trained to some extent. They dare to beat up human traffickers with their fists and watch other men playing hooligans with their feet. They thought they have developed the fearlessness of "not fearing anything even if it means death, and would rather die than eat a piece of melon". Unexpectedly, they overestimated themselves.
Watching a fight and being splashed with blood is nothing, being splashed with shit is a real deterrent.
Wang Xue's main enemy now is Grandma Sun's family. Seeing that Waiwaiji had given up, she did not continue to pursue them. She turned around and continued to complain tearfully: "I am so unlucky, but this damn old woman lied with her eyes open, saying that this was a mud dot, and she had the nerve to ask me to pay her money. I have never seen such a bully!"
"Mud spots, huh? What I splashed was also mud spots!"
The spectators are just fence-sitters, and they will take sides depending on the wind. After hearing what Wang Xue said, they felt that she was right.
So everyone turned around and tried to smooth things over with the other party.
"Weijun, let me tell you, you can't blame them all for this. Look..."
Zhao Weijun’s face turned even darker.
Over there, Grandma Sun, who was being pulled on the dung scoop by her son and daughter-in-law, was still screaming in agony.
How can one describe the chaos at this scene?
The dung scoop was stuck in the hole and was fastened tightly. Zhao Weimin and Wu Jianguo could not pull it out. They tried again but it did not budge at all. However, Grandma Sun was in great pain. She screamed and waved her fists to hit someone, cursing Wu Jianguo:
"You despicable little whore, are you doing this on purpose? Do you want me to suffer? You unfilial thing..."
She still had a weapon on her face, and she was shaking her head like that, and she almost beat Wu Jianguo like a wooden fish again.
Wu Jianguo, who was exhausted and sweating, got angry on the spot - he and Grandma Sun didn't have a deep relationship, he just lent a hand out of pity for her because she was forced to wear a dung scoop as a mask on her face at her old age. Ha, now it seems that there must be something hateful about pitiful people!
He gritted his teeth, rolled his eyes, and came up with a brilliant idea: "This thing is stuck so tightly that I can't pull it out with my hands. How about this, you ask me to squat down, straighten my face, and let the pole extend horizontally to me. Then I can kick it hard and definitely separate the dung scoop from my face."
Zhao Weimin thought it made sense, so he used a long branch from the woodshed to lead Grandma Sun to squat down slowly - Grandma Sun had just been doused in water by Wang Xue, and her whole state was like the ancient Greek god in charge of the cesspool. Even though she was his biological mother, Zhao Weimin did not dare to touch her directly.
Grandma Sun scolded her own son for being unfilial, but Zhao Weimin pretended to be deaf and dumb and turned a deaf ear to her.
Wu Jianguo became excited, rubbing his hands and stamping his feet to exercise. The people at the gate of the courtyard were like gathered groundhogs, craning their necks to watch the scene.
Even Wang Xue's attention was drawn to it, and she watched from the side with a broom in her hand.
Under the watchful eyes of the crowd, Wu Jianguo shouted "Hey! Hey!" twice, took a run-up—raised his leg—and snap!
The dung scoop was kicked high up, and Mrs. Sun was finally separated from the masked man by Wu Jianguo's shadowless kick. A red circle appeared on the edge of the old face like orange peel - that was the kiss mark left by the dung scoop reluctantly.
Wang Xue was just like the goose, cackle-cackle-cackle: "There's a circle of white hair around the roe deer's butt, and there's a red circle around your face. Your face is more classy than the roe deer's butt."
As soon as he finished speaking, several people at the door burst into laughter.
Mrs. Sun had just struggled out from under the dark dung scoop and saw the light of day again. The sound of Wu Jianguo's kick on the head was still buzzing from the rebound force. Then she heard Wang Xue, the culprit, still mocking her arrogantly.
Her head buzzed and the hot blood rushed to her head. With a ferocious face, she picked up the dung scoop that was just on her face and stabbed it forward like a spear.
"You little bitch! I'm going to fight you!"
Wang Xue refused to show weakness and fought back with a large broom covered in shit.
With a clang, the short (long?) weapons collided, and the flying dots on them fell like rain.
But both of them were dirty at the moment, and they were bloodthirsty. They just wanted to kill each other, so they stared at Xiang Lin and Xiang Yu and continued to fight.
Zhao Weijun, who was originally standing aside with a stern face ready to stop the fight, almost crawled out of the way.
The crowd watching the fun all took a deep breath in unison - the stinky air made them all vomit - but even so, no one left.
They all resisted the increasingly strong stench and persisted, their eyes shining like light bulbs.
On the contrary, Wu Jianguo was trembling at this moment.
——He was just helping Mrs. Sun kick away the dung scoop, and was feeling proud that he didn't have time to leave, when the two started fighting, and he was now swept to the edge of the battlefield!
That bastard Zhao Weimin, as soon as he realized something was wrong he turned around and ran away without even calling out to him!
Wu Jianguo cursed fiercely in his heart while shrinking his head and thinking about evacuating the battlefield as soon as possible - if it was a fist-to-flesh fight, he would not be afraid at all, but now it's a magic attack, who can withstand it?
He no longer had the high spirits he had just now when he kicked away the dung scoop to save Mrs. Sun. His whole body was hunched over like a sick chicken, and he just wanted to run away.
But the more you fear something, the more it will come to you. Mrs. Sun was furious and swept across with a long-handled dung scoop.
Wang Xue jumped back quickly and dodged it nimbly.
The dung scoop missed the target, and because of her extreme hatred, Grandma Sun used all her might and was completely unable to stop the car.
So, with Sun Pozi as the center and the handle as the radius, Sun Pozi spun almost 360 degrees on the spot like a top, and the dung scoop made a clang and hit Wu Jianguo, who was sneaking out.
The scene fell silent again. Wu Jianguo, like a broken robot, lowered his head repeatedly, staring blankly at the mark on his body that was gradually fading.
Granny Sun didn't feel guilty at all. She even spat out with a clear conscience: "You little whore, didn't you see your mother-in-law was fighting? You didn't come up to help but ran away. You are such an unfilial person, you deserve it!"
Wang Xue's dancer broom rushed up again, and she turned around to continue fighting.
Wu Jianguo stared at the mark on his body in a daze.
But how can I put it? Before it hits you, your deterrence is 10000+. After it hits you, your damage is 0.5, your deterrence drops to 0, and your rage goes up to 100000++.
Wu Jianguo finally came to his senses and was furious: He was a kind-hearted man who helped his mother-in-law to pull out the dung scoop, but ended up getting hit by the dung scoop. Not only was he covered in shit, but he was also scolded. Who could tolerate this?
He was not a good person to begin with, and he rushed forward and pushed Grandma Sun hard.
Mrs. Sun was pushed forward and staggered, just in time to be hit by Wang Xue's broom.
Well, now Mrs. Sun is even more angry. She was splashed with shit by that little bitch Wang Xue, and not only did no one in her family help her, but now Wu Jianguo is stabbing her in the back. Who can tolerate this?
Not to mention Wang Xue, she believed that the cause of this incident was that Mrs. Sun and her grandson were looking for trouble, waving a big broom vigorously.
In the end, they got so angry that they couldn't tell who was who, and the three of them fought in a group.
But Wu Jianguo was at an absolute disadvantage in the battle - the other two had weapons in their hands, and as the saying goes, an inch longer is an inch stronger. Their weapons originally had long handles, and now they were enchanted. How could he resist them with just his bare hands? He was almost beaten on the head by the other two.
Since it was already like this, he made up his mind, gritted his teeth and rushed to his own toilet, kicked the door open with a bang, picked up the manure fork that had just been used to dig the pit, and rushed out.
"Come on! Fight!" he roared.
How can I describe this battle scene? The sky was dark, the sun and moon were dim, and the dung forks, dung scoops, and dung brooms were clashing with each other. It was a mess.
The people around were all dumbfounded, but no one dared to step forward to stop the fight.
——Didn’t you see that Zhao Weijun, who used to be a soldier, doesn’t dare to move now!
Song Ruan, who was lying on the wall and watching, almost popped her eyes out.
She has lived two lives. Her previous life was the 21st century, which was known for its information explosion and strange things everywhere. This was the first time she had seen such a scene! !
This, this, this!
She was dumbfounded and slapped her thigh in her heart, but unfortunately the system was still locked in the small dark room, and she couldn't discuss it in real time with her friends.
——Wait, the system is in the small dark room, can it see this battle?
She was startled and quickly spent two cents to rent a pinhole camera, which she held in her hand and started recording.
No, she can't let her friends miss such a wonderful battle before shit!
Not only her, but also the tiger head and donkey head that were sandwiched between her on both sides had their eyes as wide as copper bells.
Jinhua's two claws on the wall were trembling, and the nails were about to pop out of the sheaths. She scratched the wall excitedly.
It is a tiger that came out of the deep mountains and forests and had never seen the world. Today its eyes have really been opened.
Its old Tianhu, even if it is a tiger, it doesn’t have it! None at all!
It looked at Song Ruan calmly, and thought, never mind, the ones below were fighting with poop, and the one next to it...
Jinhua's gaze fell on Song Ruan's mouth. Oh, it didn't want to say anything when it met such a two-legged beast!
When it thought of this, it became worried again. Its beard drooped and curled up, and its furry tiger face looked completely sad.
At this moment, the captain finally arrived.
At this time, the emphasis is on "Don't stop the fight on the 30th, and continue working on the 1st of the New Year." Ordinary members have nothing to do, so they can stay at home during the winter or visit relatives and friends to wish each other a happy new year. But people like him who hold a serious position cannot do that and have to go to the brigade headquarters to be on duty.
But in fact there was nothing to worry about. He was sitting and reading the newspaper when he heard someone coming to tell him that his niece and Mrs. Sun had a fight.
Although he was very tired, having lived under the same roof with Wang Xue for such a long time, he was very clear about his niece's trouble-making personality and was not very surprised.
It was just a fight, it had happened before, so he went to mediate.
When they arrived at the scene, they were shocked. This had never happened before. He, he, he... For the first time, the captain, who was used to seeing many storms, felt scared and wanted to leave.
But when the crowd saw him coming, they were already unwilling to leave and were very excited, so they made way for him.
Everyone around him was looking at him eagerly. The captain took two steps forward, took a deep breath - and also dried his breath - and then raised his voice firmly: "What are you doing? Why don't you separate?!"
None of the three men, who were so angry that they were mad at each other, paid any attention to him.
Song Ruan leaned against the wall and yelled, "We're fighting a shit-pressing riot!"
"puff--"
"Xiao Song's mouth...hahaha."
The villagers outside didn't understand the pun "Anshi Rebellion", but the word was quite vivid in its literal meaning. It also had a certain literary tone that couldn't be expressed in words. Plus, the incident was so weird that they burst into laughter.
The air is filled with a happy atmosphere.
Wang Xue immediately noticed Song Ruan who was lying on the wall and laughing at her - damn, there is still a fish that has slipped through the net!
If Song Ruan hadn't mocked her before, she wouldn't have thought of looking for Song Ruan today. If she hadn't come to find Song Ruan, she wouldn't have been blown up by Tiedan. If she hadn't been blown up by Tiedan, she wouldn't be fighting a bloody battle with these two dogs.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. She used the broom as a shovel to shovel the puddle on the ground and waved it towards Song Ruan who was on the wall.
"What the hell are you talking about? You're talking about it! How dare you talk about it!"
Song Ruan:! ! !
She never expected that the crazy Wang Xue would be so unreasonable and throw nuclear weapons at the onlookers over a disagreement.
Her pupils trembled, and she immediately shrank back behind the wall and squatted down. In the blink of an eye, she shrunk under Haoshi's belly, used Haoshi's body as a cover, and escaped with the donkey on her head.
——The good thing is that its four legs are standing on the stone, so it can run; Jinhua is too big, and its two paws are resting on the wall as it lies diagonally, and its body is stretched too long, making it difficult to push forward.
Jinhua also wanted to run, but its nail got stuck in the gap at this critical moment. It took it some time to pull it out. In just this short delay, the thing was already flying towards it.
Jinhua is a Siberian tiger with a big face like a plate, and she almost caught the whole thing.
Jinhua: ...
Jinhua:! ! !
Its eyes were wide open, and the whole tiger had a petrified expression of disbelief.
The thing slid down along the word "king" above its head, dripping, and fell onto its claws.
The overwhelming stench swept over like a mushroom cloud. Hu Hu's sense of smell was many times more sensitive than that of a human, and he almost fainted on the spot.
yue! !
Jinhua suddenly withdrew its two paws that were lying on the wall, and crawled back into its own yard. It first washed its face with its left paw and licked it - it didn't dare to lick it, but just smelled it.
yue! ! !
It shrugged, retched twice again, and quickly put down its left paw. It used its right paw to wash its face again, licked it tentatively, and put it to its mouth.
yue! ! ! ! !
Jinhua had never suffered such a great humiliation before, even the hair on its tail stood up. It retched again, and could not bear it any longer. It roared to the sky for a while, and ran to the next room.
I’m Hu Hu, I’m going to fight with you today!
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