Chapter 20
The next morning at eight o'clock, Shi Ye was already sitting in the living room, lost in thought.
She stared at the clock on the wall, the little narrator in her mind giving a morning broadcast: "So I'm going to see a psychologist today? In a novel world? To treat the depression I had in my original world? Is this reasonable? Is this scientific? Can this doctor even understand the concept of 'transmigration'? I can't exactly tell the doctor, 'Hello, I'm a transmigrator, my system is setting me up with my villainous fiancée and my lively junior schoolmate, but I have depression so I can't feel emotions,' can I?!"
She rubbed her temples, feeling that the plot was getting more and more surreal.
My phone vibrated; it was a message from Lin Xiaoyu: "Sister Shi Ye! I'm off! I'll be there in half an hour!"
Shi Ye replied with a "Okay," and then continued to stare blankly.
She deliberately wore a simple T-shirt and jeans today, no makeup, and her hair was casually tied in a ponytail. Going to see a psychologist shouldn't require anything too formal, right?
At 8:30, the doorbell rang on time.
Shi Ye opened the door, and Lin Xiaoyu stood outside, wearing a bright yellow dress, looking like a little sun.
"Sister Shi! Good morning!" Lin Xiaoyu smiled brightly. "Are you ready?"
"Mm." Shi Ye nodded.
In the car, Lin Xiaoyu spoke as she drove: "I got the doctor's contact information from my cousin and have already made an appointment. The doctor's surname is Chen, he's very gentle and very experienced..."
Shi Ye listened, somewhat dazed. She recalled her experience of seeing a psychologist in her original world—the white consultation room, the indifferent doctor, a huge pile of questionnaires and scales… and those medications that didn’t seem to have any effect.
"Sister Shi?" Lin Xiaoyu noticed her distraction. "Are you nervous?"
“A little,” Shi Ye said honestly.
"Don't be nervous!" Lin Xiaoyu comforted her. "Dr. Chen is a really nice person. My cousin said she is very patient."
Shi Ye nodded without saying anything.
The car drove into a quiet neighborhood and stopped in front of a cozy-looking white building. There was a small garden in front of the building, filled with flowers.
"We're here," Lin Xiaoyu said. "This is it."
The two got out of the car and went into the small building. The first floor was the reception area, where a kind-looking middle-aged woman was sitting.
"Hello, we have an appointment with Dr. Chen," Lin Xiaoyu said.
"Was it Miss Lin who recommended you?" the middle-aged woman smiled. "Dr. Chen is on the second floor, the first room on the right."
The two went upstairs. The hallway was quiet, with some artwork hanging on the walls, creating a relaxing atmosphere.
Shi Ye's heart was beating a little fast—another physiological reaction.
As they reached the door of the consultation room, Lin Xiaoyu stopped and said, "Sister Shi, you can go in by yourself. I'll wait for you outside."
Shi Ye nodded, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.
"Please come in." A gentle female voice came from inside.
Shi Ye pushed open the door and went in. The consultation room wasn't large, but it was decorated very warmly. There were bookshelves, a sofa, green plants, and a recliner that looked very comfortable.
A female doctor in her forties, wearing glasses, sat behind her desk. Upon seeing her, she smiled and said, "Is this your turn? Please have a seat."
Shi Ye sat down on the sofa, looking a little reserved.
"I'm Dr. Chen." The female doctor stood up and poured her a glass of water. "Ms. Lin briefly explained your situation to me. However, I'd like to hear what you have to say yourself."
Shi Ye took the water glass, her fingers trembling slightly. What should she say? When should she begin?
“I…” she began, her voice a little hoarse, “I have depression. I’m emotionally numb, I can’t feel… emotions.”
Dr. Chen nodded, his expression calm: "How long has it been?"
"Six years," Shi Ye said. "I was diagnosed at sixteen, took medication for two years, and then stopped."
Why was the medication stopped?
“Because… I felt it wasn’t effective,” Shi Ye said, “and I didn’t want others to know.”
Dr. Chen was taking notes: "What's the situation now? Tell me in detail."
Shi Ye thought for a moment and tried to describe it: "I can tell that someone is good, I can know that I should like them, be moved by them, or feel sad... but I don't feel anything in my heart. It's like... like watching someone else's story."
"What about physiological reactions?" Dr. Chen asked. "Rapid heartbeat, tearing, do you experience any of these?"
“Yes,” Shi Ye nodded, “but that’s a physical reaction. I still don’t feel anything in my heart.”
"Okay." Dr. Chen put down his pen. "Let's do an assessment first."
For the next hour, Shi Ye completed various questionnaires and tests. Some questions were familiar, while others were unfamiliar. She tried to answer honestly, but there were some questions she didn't know the answers to.
"If one day you disappear, will anyone care?" — Yes, Qi Jin will care, Lin Xiaoyu will care, and your father will care.
"Do you think you deserve to be loved?" — I don't know.
"What do you hope the future will be like?" — I hope the world won't collapse, I hope Qi Jin won't disappear, I hope... I can get better?
After completing the test, Dr. Chen looked at the results with a serious expression.
“Shi Ye,” she said, “based on the assessment, you do indeed have moderate depression, accompanied by symptoms of emotional numbness. However…”
She paused for a moment: "Your situation is a bit special."
"Special?" Shi Ye was taken aback.
“Generally speaking, emotional numbness is a common symptom of depression, but your test results show that your cognitive and social functions are well maintained,” Dr. Chen said. “You know what to do, you can live a normal life, and you can interact with people… This is very rare.”
Shi Ye: "..." Because she was acting! She knew what the original owner should do, so she did it!
“Moreover,” Dr. Chen continued, “your physiological reaction is very strong, which means that your emotional center is actually working, but… it’s not receiving the signal at the conscious level.”
Shi Ye was a little confused: "What do you mean?"
"Simply put, your body is feeling, but your brain is telling you 'no feeling'," Dr. Chen explained. "This may be related to your traumatic experience. You were only ten years old when your mother passed away, and at that time you may have activated some kind of defense mechanism to isolate your emotions."
Shi Ye recalled what Qi Jin had said: at his mother's funeral, the ten-year-old original owner did not shed a single tear.
"Then..." she asked, "can it be cured?"
“It’s worth a try,” Dr. Chen said. “With medication combined with psychotherapy, there’s a good chance of improvement. However, it will take time and your cooperation.”
Shi Ye nodded: "I'll cooperate."
“Okay.” Dr. Chen smiled. “We’ll start with medication. I’ll prescribe some medicine for you, and you should take it on time. At the same time, come for psychotherapy once a week.”
She wrote out a prescription and handed it to Shi Ye: "Remember, treating depression is a process, don't rush it. Contact me anytime if you have any questions."
Shi Ye took the prescription: "Thank you, doctor."
"You're welcome." Dr. Chen stood up. "By the way, do you have a support system? Family? Friends?"
“Yes,” Shi Ye said, “Father, and…friends.”
"That's good." Dr. Chen nodded. "During treatment, a support system is very important. Don't try to tough it out on your own."
As Shi Ye left the consultation room, Lin Xiaoyu immediately came up to him: "How was it?"
"I've been prescribed the medicine, and I need to come back once a week," Shi Ye said.
"Great!" Lin Xiaoyu pulled her along. "Let's go get the medicine!"
There was a pharmacy downstairs, and after getting the medicine, Lin Xiaoyu said she wanted to celebrate.
"What are we celebrating?" Shi Ye asked, puzzled.
“Celebrating is the first step we’ve taken!” Lin Xiaoyu said. “Come on, it’s my treat, let’s have dessert!”
The two went to a nearby dessert shop. Lin Xiaoyu ordered two matcha cakes, one for herself and one for Shi Ye.
“Sister Shiye,” Lin Xiaoyu said earnestly, “you must take your medicine on time and go for your follow-up appointments on time. You must get better.”
Looking into her concerned eyes, Shi Ye felt that physical warmth return to his heart.
"Yes," she nodded. "I will."
"And," Lin Xiaoyu lowered her voice, "what are you planning to do about your senior's situation?"
Shi Ye paused for a moment: "What do you mean, what should we do?"
Does she know you're here to see the doctor today?
"Know."
"Then she..." Lin Xiaoyu hesitated for a moment, "Does she know about your situation?"
“I know,” Shi Ye said. “She has always known.”
Lin Xiaoyu's eyes lit up: "Then your senior is really good to you! Knowing your situation, she still stayed with you."
Shi Ye lowered his head and ate his cake without saying a word.
“Sister Shi Ye,” Lin Xiaoyu continued, “I know you can’t feel it now, but… she’s really a good person. If you can feel it someday, you’ll like her.”
Shi Ye paused for a moment: "Perhaps."
"It's not maybe, it's definitely true!" Lin Xiaoyu said. "My senior is so outstanding, so gentle, and so devoted to you... who wouldn't like her!"
Seeing Lin Xiaoyu's excited expression, Shi Ye suddenly asked, "Xiaoyu, don't you like Qi Jin?"
“I like it!” Lin Xiaoyu nodded, “but just like I like my older sister. And…”
She paused, her face slightly flushed: "I have someone I like."
Shi Ye raised an eyebrow: "Who?"
"I'm not telling you!" Lin Xiaoyu made a face. "I'll tell you when the time is right!"
Shi Ye smiled. Lin Xiaoyu's simple joy made her feel comfortable—although she couldn't feel it, she knew rationally that it was comfortable.
After the two finished eating the cake, Lin Xiaoyu walked Shi Ye home. On the way, Shi Ye's phone vibrated; it was a message from Qi Jin: "Finished reading?"
Shi Ye replied, "Yes, the medicine has been prescribed, and I need to have a follow-up appointment every week."
Qi Jin: "Okay. Take your medicine on time."
Shi Ye: "Hmm."
Qi Jin: "Is there anything I can do?"
Shi Ye stared at the message, her finger hovering over the screen. What did she need Qi Jin to do? She didn't know.
"No need," she replied finally.
Qi Jin: "Okay. Contact me anytime if you need anything."
Shi Ye: "Thank you."
Qi Jin: "You're welcome."
The conversation ended. Shi Ye stared at the screen, that slight physical discomfort returning. Qi Jin was always like that—simple, direct, but every word he spoke was filled with concern.
"Are you a senior student?" Lin Xiaoyu asked.
"Mm." Shi Ye nodded.
"What did you say, senior?"
"Make sure I take my medicine on time."
"See!" Lin Xiaoyu said proudly, "Your senior cares about you so much!"
Shi Ye remained silent.
Back home, Shi Ye placed the medicine on the bedside table and stared at the pill boxes for a long time. Would these medicines really work? In this novel world, would the medication for treating depression be the same as in the original world?
"System," she asked in her mind, "Will these drugs have any side effects on my body?"
"The medication contains standard antidepressants, and the side effects are the same as those in the original product: they may include drowsiness, dry mouth, and changes in appetite. It is recommended to take it as directed by your doctor."
Shi Ye nodded and took the medicine for the first time according to the instructions. The medicine was very bitter, so she drank some water before swallowing it.
Then she lay in bed, waiting for the medication to take effect. It's said that antidepressants take several weeks to work, and she didn't know if she could manage it.
My phone vibrated again. This time it was a message from Jiang Chen: "Shi Ye, Xiao Yu told me you went to the hospital today. Are you alright?"
Shi Ye stared at the message, somewhat surprised. How did Jiang Chen know? Did Lin Xiaoyu tell him? And he called her "Shi Ye"? Were they that close?
"It's nothing," she replied. "Thank you for your concern."
Jiang Chen: "That's good. Let me know if you need any help."
Shi Ye: "Okay."
The conversation ended. Shi Ye felt that Jiang Chen was a bit...strange? They had only known each other for a day, yet he was so concerned about her?
"System," she asked, "how much favorability does Jiang Chen have towards me right now?"
"Jiang Chen's favorability towards the host: 32/100, up 2 points from yesterday."
Shi Ye: "..." It's gone up again?! Why?!
“Cause analysis: It may be due to the host’s protective instincts and concern after learning that the host was receiving medical treatment.”
Shi Ye sighed, rubbing her forehead. So Jiang Chen only liked her because he pitied her? What kind of nonsense is that?!
She put down her phone, deciding to stop thinking about it. The medication started to take effect, and she felt a little sleepy.
She woke up in the afternoon. Shi Ye glanced at the time: 3:30. She had slept for four hours?
She sat up, feeling a little dizzy, but her mood... seemed unchanged. It was still that empty feeling.
There were several unread messages on her phone. Lin Xiaoyu asked how she was feeling, her father asked if she was coming home for dinner that night, and... Qi Jin asked if she had taken her medicine.
Shi Ye replied to each one. When replying to Qi Jin, she hesitated for a moment and typed an extra line: "I took my medicine, and I'm a little sleepy."
Qi Jin replied instantly: "Normal reaction. Get some rest."
Shi Ye stared at those six words and suddenly felt a strong urge to talk to Qi Jin—not about his illness, not about the mission, just… to have a chat.
But she didn't know what to say.
In the end, she only replied with an "Mm".
That evening, Shi Zhenghong returned home. The father and daughter ate together, and Shi Ye briefly explained the situation regarding the medical visit.
“Yeye,” Shi Zhenghong looked at her, his eyes filled with complex emotions, “Dad has always wanted to tell you… I’m sorry.”
Shi Ye was taken aback: "Why?"
“Your mother passed away when you were so young. Your father was only focused on the company and didn’t take good care of you.” Shi Zhenghong’s voice was a little choked up. “Later, you got sick, and your father didn’t know how to help you… I’m sorry.”
Looking at his father's reddened eyes, Shi Ye felt that pang of sadness welling up inside him again.
“Dad,” she said, “it’s not your fault.”
"It's my fault." Shi Zhenghong shook his head. "If I had cared about you more, maybe you wouldn't have..."
“Dad,” Shi Ye interrupted him, “Depression is an illness, it’s no one’s fault. It’s just like having a cold or fever, it’s just being sick.”
Shi Zhenghong looked at her, his eyes filled with surprise and relief: "Yeye, you... have grown up."
Shi Ye smiled and said, "I've always grown up."
After dinner, Shi Ye returned to her room. She took out the medicine prescribed by the doctor and took it for the second time as directed. Then she sat by the window, looking at the night view outside.
The city was large and bustling, but she always felt it had nothing to do with her. It was like watching a movie; no matter how exciting the scenes were, she couldn't get into the story.
My phone vibrated; it was a system message: "Today's mission progress: Qi Jin's favorability towards Lin Xiaoyu is 50/100, no change. Lin Xiaoyu's favorability towards Qi Jin is 49/100, no change. New data: Jiang Chen's favorability towards the host has increased to 35/100."
Shi Ye stared at the last line of text, somewhat speechless. Why was Jiang Chen's favorability rating still rising?! Just because he knew she had gone to the doctor?!
“System,” she asked, “what kind of character is Jiang Chen in the original novel?”
"Jiang Chen, male, 22 years old, a senior architecture student at University A, and president of the student union. In the original novel, he has a crush on Lin Xiaoyu and plays a supporting role in the development of Lin Xiaoyu and Qi Jin's relationship. He has a gentle personality and a strong sense of responsibility."
Shi Ye nodded. So Jiang Chen was a good guy in the original story, helping Qi Jin and Lin Xiaoyu get together. But now... it seems he's helping the wrong people?
She felt the task was becoming increasingly complicated. Not only was there no progress with Qi Jin and Lin Xiaoyu, but Jiang Chen also developed feelings for her.
“Host,” the system suddenly said, “a new plot node has been detected: the design exhibition is about to open, and several characters will be attending. It is recommended that you seize the opportunity and advance the mission.”
Shi Ye suddenly remembered that Lin Xiaoyu's design exhibition was coming soon. Many people would be attending, including Qi Jin, Lin Xiaoyu, Jiang Chen, and possibly others…
This is indeed an opportunity. Creating an interaction between Qi Jin and Lin Xiaoyu in public, letting everyone see it… perhaps this could advance their romantic relationship?
But then she remembered Dr. Chen's words: "Treating depression is a process; don't rush it."
Should she treat her illness first, or complete her mission first?
Shi Ye did not know.
All she knew was that the medication was taking effect again, and she was sleepy again.
She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes.
Tomorrow will be another new day.
Tomorrow, she will continue taking her medication and undergoing treatment.
Tomorrow...maybe things will turn around.
Maybe not.
But at least, she took the first step.
That's enough.
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