Xu Xiaoxiao laughed self-deprecatingly: "After graduation, I realized that going to university doesn't guarantee a good job."
There are just too many college students; they're not that valuable.
In addition, she knew nothing back then and chose a terrible major, making it even harder for her to find a job.
Three thousand yuan can't hire a single migrant worker, but it can hire a bunch of college students.
These college students were supported by migrant workers who gritted their teeth and paid for their education back then.
After leaving the ivory tower, she quickly understood what "class gap" meant.
I also realized that hard work alone cannot lead to wealth.
"I rented the cheapest shared apartment, enduring the scorching 40-degree sun, and traveled by bus to various places to submit resumes and go for interviews."
Several of my roommates got good jobs arranged by their parents right after graduation, and their RVs were already prepared long ago.
Even though her roommates' grades were not as good as hers, some of them had not passed the CET-4, and some could not even make a spreadsheet.
She continued, "It's been three months since I graduated, and I still haven't found a suitable job. I can barely afford to eat."
Ata frowned: "Why didn't you tell your parents?"
Xu Xiaoxiao smiled bitterly: "Because they can't imagine that migrant workers can find work, but I, a college student, can't find a job."
She couldn't explain the anxiety and pain she felt to her parents, who had different perspectives.
“They can’t understand. They will only think it’s my problem and say that I’m wasting money on my education and going to university.”
She could only borrow some money from her friends and save every penny she could.
She couldn't bear to turn on the air conditioner, which led to heatstroke. She cried bitterly at night, but still had to continue interviewing during the day.
Several times she hesitated when she saw job postings for milk tea shops, hot pot restaurants, and factories, but in the end she didn't go.
Because those jobs are not "what college students should do".
Xu Xiaoxiao: "From a young age, textbooks have taught us that 'no profession is superior or inferior,' but do people really think that way?"
Qi An exclaimed, "Bullshit, what kind of nonsense is this!"
Ata also shook his head.
Xu Xiaoxiao laughed: "You see, everyone knows that's just bullshit. So I can't convince myself."
Just when she had reached her limit and was about to give in to reality, she saw job postings from major internet companies.
After three rounds of interviews, she successfully navigated through numerous challenges and stood out from hundreds of applicants.
Her shattered understanding was pieced back together.
After sharing the good news with his parents, all the relatives and the entire village knew about it in less than a day.
They all say that Old Xu's daughter is really promising; she got a job at a big company right after graduation and will definitely make a lot of money in the future.
"At that time, I was determined to make a name for myself, get promoted and get a raise, and reach the pinnacle of my life."
Ata asked, "And then?"
Xiao Xiao smiled wryly: "Then I realized that dreaming is faster."
Without connections or influence, and lacking social skills and the ability to flatter, promotions and raises are just empty promises.
She's like a donkey pulling a millstone, only now she's switched from one millstone to another.
Although this millstone looks shinier, it is still a millstone at its core.
Everyone envies her for getting a job at a major internet company right after graduation, with a high salary and good benefits, which makes her very proud.
Only she knows how tiring this job is.
It's like risking your life for money.
They didn't even earn much money; it was all earned through working year-round without taking any holidays.
Over the course of four or five years, her once healthy body was gone, and she was left with a host of occupational diseases.
Cervical spondylosis, lumbar disc herniation, tenosynovitis, as well as insomnia and hair loss, stomach problems, allergies, and obesity due to overwork.
Commonly known as eating less and sleeping worse, but still gaining weight.
The long-term reversed day and night schedule, coupled with enormous work pressure, caused her overall condition to deteriorate.
My mind is constantly on edge, and I can't relax.
Because whether it's late at night or on vacation, you might receive an urgent call from your boss.
Xu Xiaoxiao said, "Do you know what? Even now, as soon as I hear my phone ring, I start to panic and feel anxious before I even look at the screen."
Ata asked, "Then why not leave and find another job?"
Xu Xiaoxiao: "Because after I resigned, I couldn't find a better offer, and my parents wouldn't agree."
Ata: "..." This is so difficult!
“Every time I tell my parents I’m so tired and don’t want to do this anymore, they say…”
Qi An: "What did you say?"
Xu Xiaoxiao imitated, "You sit comfortably in the office all day, just moving your fingers and typing on the keyboard."
"We have heating in winter and air conditioning in summer, and we're sheltered from the wind and rain, so what are you working so hard for?"
"Are we as tired as those migrant workers on construction sites, toiling under the scorching sun and covered in cement? They don't know how lucky they are."
"Your company is so prestigious, so many people envy it and want to get in but can't. If you quit, where will you find a better one?"
"What? Mental work is more tiring? You're a college student, are you going to do manual labor instead of using your brain? Wouldn't your dad and I be laughed at to death?"
"Working overtime to death? Pshaw! What nonsense! Those people must have been sick to begin with. How could young people die from overwork?"
"There's only one person like that in millions. It's all fate. If God wants to take someone away, there's nothing you can do."
"Besides, working overtime is great. We get double pay on weekends and triple pay as required by law. If it were us, we'd practically live at the company except for eating and sleeping."
"Insomnia? Oh dear, you must be playing on your phone too much. Looks like you're not tired enough. How could you not sleep if you were tired?"
"Listen to me, don't be so spoiled. You're not allowed to quit your job. Jobs are hard to find these days. What if you quit and can't find a better one? Wouldn't all our university education have been for nothing?"
“Your younger brother looks up to you as a role model, so don’t set a bad example for him.”
"By the way, exercise more when you have time, don't just lie around playing on your phone all the time. Look how fat you are, hurry up and lose weight and find a partner. You're already an old maid, if you don't get married soon people will laugh at you."
...
But once she leaves the company, she finds it too tiring to even speak or make a gesture, let alone exercise.
What does socializing or finding a partner have to do with her?
Xu Xiaoxiao said helplessly, "They can only accept that I'm doing better and better; if I go back, they'll think I'm a failure."
So she gradually stopped complaining of being tired.
Every time my parents call to ask how I'm doing, I only get two dismissive words in response.
"Good".
Xu Xiaoxiao's imitation was so perfect that Qi An and Ata were completely dumbfounded.
She sighed: "So you see, no matter how disgusting it is, we still have to visit these graves, and we do it every month without fail."
Of course, half the problem lies with oneself.
Xu Xiaoxiao lowered her eyes: "If I hadn't gone to university, I could have worked as a waitress, made milk tea, tightened screws, or done anything that interested me. But I did go to university."
After years of hard study and countless academic struggles, she cannot bear the ridicule and schadenfreude of others.
They were even more afraid of hearing their parents' disappointed accusations.
"What's the use of reading so many books? You're not as successful as someone who didn't read any books."
After all, in their eyes, going to university means being superior to others and being able to easily make a lot of money.
Little did they know, the lowly corporate slaves were dismissed.
“My parents tell everyone how successful I am, but actually, any random auntie selling jianbing guozi downstairs earns more than me.”
However, in the eyes of parents, working in an office is respectable and makes them look good.
"As for buying a house, ha, I'd better ask heaven for another five hundred years."
"The saddest thing is that after I got a fever during the pandemic, my first reaction was, 'Oh, I'm so happy I can take a vacation.' I feel so sorry for myself."
Qi An and Ata remained silent. Is it really that difficult for young people in this country?
Xu Xiaoxiao said, "Actually, there are quite a few people like me who are conflicted. They can't roll it up properly, and they can't lie down properly either."
"Society calls people like us Kong Yiji; our education is like the long gown we can't take off."
When we were young, we were told to study hard and go to university, but when we grew up, we were told not to care too much about academic qualifications and not to become like Kong Yiji.
She asked in bewilderment, "So what was the point of all the suffering I endured during my nearly twenty years of hard study?"
"Sometimes I even wonder if it would have been better if I hadn't studied so hard back then."
"I wonder if it would be easier to just live a muddled, aimless life outside?"
Finally, she let out a sigh of relief: "Actually, I think it's pretty good to be free like this, since I have no expectations for the future anyway."
Ata said, "Don't you feel it's a pity you've never been in a relationship?"
Xu Xiaoxiao smiled and said, "Actually, it's okay. I just want to experience love, but I don't want to get married or have children."
Why?
"Because I don't want to marry someone I have no feelings for as a task, and I don't want to bring a child into the world and repeat the path I've walked."
"I can't give him a good life, so I won't ruin the child. There are already enough leeks (victims), one more won't make a difference."
Qi An nodded: "Since you have no wishes, then go and reincarnate."
Xu Xiaoxiao shook her head: "No, I don't want to be reincarnated."
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