Playing tricks
519.
An Jin gave me a foldable, three-dimensional greeting card for my birthday. It was the fanciest one you could buy at the time. I didn't like him treating me like a girl; it made me inexplicably uncomfortable. But he explained that this one was the best-looking, while others were 2.5 yuan each, but this one was 12 yuan.
"When you turn it on, the pattern will stand up. Then the lights will flash and a song will play. So don't turn it on during class time."
I was about to open it to listen to what song it was, but he stopped me. I held the card in my hand and read both sides. It was really exquisite. I wanted to know the content, so I asked him.
"So what time should we choose to open it?"
"Open it at the end of the year, or on the first day of next year."
"Why?"
"No reason."
"I'll open it now to see if you're scolding me in there..."
"No! Open it on New Year's Day?" He acts like a child when he's angry. I'm very tolerant of children, so next year will be next year.
520.
When we were almost parting at my house, he finally told me why. He said that if he looked at it now, he'd probably forget it. By next year, he'd only remember a sentence or two. So he opened it later, so I'd be curious every day about what was inside. Even when he wasn't by my side, I'd still be thinking about the card he wrote, thinking about him.
This is his strategy, and I am convinced.
521.
"Are you going home?" I asked.
The temperature in Wulin City has dropped, but it's still very hot on the island. He's wearing a blue T-shirt, and when we're face to face, he always looks down, not really looking at me. When he notices me looking at him, he reaches up to push up his glasses and then looks down again.
It's hard to imagine what he did just by looking at his appearance. Back then, there was no word for contrast, so I don't know how to describe it.
"Um."
"Tomorrow is the weekend, what time do you have classes?"
"I'm only making up for math tomorrow, so I have to get up around six in the morning."
"Okay, have a good rest."
"Um, goodnight?"
"Why don't you wish me a happy birthday?"
"I wrote this in the greeting card."
"Oh, what else did you write besides Happy Birthday?"
He looked up and said,
"You're so annoying."
After saying that, he left.
522.
Back in my bedroom, in the small gap between today and tomorrow, I opened the card and read it. The handwriting was small and crooked, requiring careful deciphering. I read it over and over again, looking left, then right, then right, then left again. It read as follows:
Xuzhen, happy birthday.
I know someone important to you has called you that. Can I call you that too? But it makes me feel like an elder, which is a bit frustrating. I wanted to write more, buy prettier stationery to seal these pages. But I heard you receive a lot of love letters, so I don't want to seem so unremarkable.
Today is your birthday. After lunch after school, we went shopping for greeting cards. I wanted the orange one, but the shop owner said it was the most popular, so I'll go with it. We've talked a lot lately, but it seems like we've been deliberately avoiding the word "like." You only asked me what fruit I like, and I don't know your favorite color, so I made this choice. I'm so sorry.
I have very little, but I want to give you the best because you deserve it the most.
You love asking why, so I answered first. My grades are average, really average for our class. I was surprised to see your current grades. Wait, discussing this here, am I acting like a homeroom teacher again? It's not that I'm quiet, it's just that sometimes I overthink things. But then again, I have to. The other day you said we'd celebrate your birthday together, and I was really looking forward to it. Two days later, you said you'd celebrate a day later, but that didn't dampen my anticipation.
My expectations are as many as my thoughts, but you don't know they exist. Similarly, my love is much greater than what I express. If you feel that it is not enough, I will express more in the future until you feel that it is enough.
It's around 11 p.m., not yet time for your medicine. I'm saying goodnight because tomorrow isn't your birthday, even though we'll be seeing each other. Goodnight, even though I'm not good at expressing myself or making up stories. But as long as I know you're listening, I feel obligated.
Isn't the word "obligation" a bad word? I don't want to erase it; it won't look pretty. Buying another one is a hassle, so I'll just use "responsibility" instead. I have a responsibility, huh?
I'm almost out of words, squeezing in. Actually, I understand that there are many differences between us. You have many possibilities, while those are impossible for me. I don't want you to continue like this, I don't want your possibilities to diminish because of giving up. Of course, when you open the card and see these words, you should have already received my Happy New Year.
I hope you're truly happy by then, and truly see this. Even if you can't, I won't give up on you! That's it.
An Jin
2008\11\7
523.
It's really crowded to write like this, it made me laugh.
On the way to make up lessons together the next day,
"Good morning," he said.
"Happy New Year." I said in advance.
"What are you doing? Are you cheating?!"
......
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
