snail shell
459.
The third attempt to quit smoking failed, An Jin said, I sound like an old man when I sigh.
My height stagnated after my freshman year of high school, but I knew that adulthood, and maturity, still had a long way to go. It was full of twists and turns. He had so many stories that I couldn't remember them all. I just listened, and listened.
One that was quite impressive:
A young sailor sets sail, filled with passion, crafting sails out of courage, ignoring the wind and waves' dissuading him. His ship carries fresh solitude, fruit, and bread. He sails on, until he loses his way, his sanity sunburns, the bread is eaten, the fruit rots, and the rain soaks all the sails. All his treasures are worthless, and only then do he cling to the plank of life, weeping and clinging to it. He declares, "I know I was wrong."
460.
"Why on earth did he set sail?" I asked.
"Guess what."
"Then why do you like me?" Why pursue me in this way? I thought you would give me something, or write something for me.
"Because I understand, why don't you like going out?"
Understand first, then like. This step is most likely correct.
“Home is a snail’s shell.”
"Um."
"A snail thinks it's safe hiding inside its shell. Anyone passing by can crush it with just one step." This is the story I gave him.
"You're very pessimistic."
"yes."
"I'd also like your pessimism."
"An Jin, are there times when you clearly have everything you need and are happy about everything, but still feel like you can't go on? If one day you say you can't live anymore, what will you do?"
Will you comfort me by saying you already have a lot? Just like that day when you overheard my aunt and I discussing the balance in our bank account? Will you stop me, saying it's too early, that I should at least wait until I mature enough to refute my childishness.
"If one day you can't live anymore, tell me and I will kill you."
461.
That's right, that's what true love means to me. Qiu Yang is a liar.
462.
"We are the same kind of people." I sighed as I looked at the call records of several hours.
"Did you just realize that?"
"You know more about me than I could have imagined."
"Love can be beyond imagination. If life brings you too much pain, then there is no point in choosing."
"Life is beautiful, but it has brought me too much loss." Such irreversible wounds cannot be healed.
"I know. I can even tell what's in your dreams."
"What?"
"You always dream that you are Xu Jiaheng. You have what he has, and you drink what he drinks."
"Have you ever thought about being with me?" If we were a couple, what would you like to accomplish?
"I haven't thought about it." The tone of his voice was like a child. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was chewing bubble gum.
"Why? I thought about being with Xu Jiaheng."
"I just thought, you're not with anyone else."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"Are you sleepy?" I heard him blowing bubbles.
"Not sleepy."
"Tell a story?"
"Need not."
"I heard you got a text message."
"You heard wrong."
"Is this true?"
"Fake."
"You're going to hang up on me again." When he was acting coquettishly, he was very similar to Xu Jiaheng.
"I'm not worried, what's your favorite animal?" Maybe I understand you a little better, and this favorite may come out one day.
"Ahri."
"I said animals."
"It's a fox, don't you know?"
"Why do you like it?"
"You don't like me, so why do you care about me?"
"So, just because I like you, I can control you?"
"Sure, do you want to control me?"
I was silent, and then he said that Ali should be two years old this year.
463.
Qiu Yang: You haven’t slept yet?
Qiu Yang: Your phone is busy. What have you been doing these days?
Qiu Yang: Have you finished your homework?
Me: No.
Me: I’m on the phone.
Qiu Yang: I know you are on the phone.
Qiu Yang: Who are you calling so late?
Me: You don’t know him.
Qiu Yang: What’s wrong with you?
Qiu Yang: What to talk about?
Me: Why do you care so much?
Qiu Yang: What have you been eating these days?
Me: The more you control, the more it happens.
Qiu Yang: Hang up the phone and go to bed early.
Me: Listen to you? Why?
Qiu Yang: I'm going to the city to see my brother tomorrow.
Qiu Yang: Let's go together? I'll take you to eat something delicious.
Me: No.
Qiu Yang: Xu Jiaheng is here too.
Qiu Yang: Forget it. I just returned my boat ticket.
Me: What time tomorrow?
Qiu Yang: I’m really impressed.
Qiu Yang: Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock.
Qiu Yang: See you at the dock? Or should I pick you up?
Qiu Yang: Can you get up so early?
Me: See you at the dock.
Qiu Yang: Okay.
Qiu Yang: Who are you talking to on the phone?
Me: The flowers in your schoolbag that day.
Me: Who is it for?
Qiu Yang: Good night.
Me: I guess it’s a carnation, for my mother.
Qiu Yang: Why are you tormenting me like this?
Qiu Yang: What’s wrong with you?
Me: Who is it for?
Qiu Yang: I’m really annoyed with you too.
Qiu Yang: See you tomorrow.
Me: I don’t like flowers.
Me: I don’t like jellyfish keychains, coconut milk and egg tarts.
Qiu Yang: Just say it directly, you don’t like me.
Me: I don’t like you.
Qiu Yang: Shut up.
Me: It’s wrong to do what you asked?
Qiu Yang: Shut up.
Me: I don’t like you.
Qiu Yang: ...
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