Chapter 50 The Bitter Summer (The End) The Bitter Summer...
A few days later, one afternoon, Shen Qingli received a package delivered to her door.
After signing for the package, she looked at the name on it and remembered that it was something Shen Qingyun had promised to send to her a few days ago.
She took out her phone and snapped a picture. Just as she was about to send a message to let the other person know that she had received the package, the person on the other end of the chat window called her.
Shen Qingli answered the call, and Shen Qingyun's voice came through the phone, "Ali, did you receive everything I sent you?"
"I got it, a whole box full."
"Did you open it? Although I sealed some of the cooked food in plastic, I still don't know if it will spoil."
"Not yet. I just got it and you called. I'll open it now."
After saying that, Shen Qingli used a knife to cut open the tape on the outside of the express delivery and painstakingly removed the outer packaging. She carefully checked the items one by one and found that Shen Qingyun had also sent a lot of local specialties from Suzhou. She said helplessly, "Why did you send so many peach shortbreads? You can buy these in Nanshi too."
"Grandma said you used to love eating these, so she asked me to send you some too. Are all the peach shortbread cookies broken?"
"A little, but it's okay, don't worry, everything is edible." She checked that everything was undamaged before taking each item out and placing it on the living room table.
However, when the bottom mung bean cake was taken out, a small box inside also fell out.
The box landed heavily on her carpet. Shen Qingli was startled and picked up the silver box, looking it over. It didn't look like food at all. She frowned slightly and asked her phone, puzzled, "Sis, did you buy me anything else? What's in this silver box?"
When asked about this, Shen Qingyun suddenly remembered something she had forgotten and said, "Oh, this? I forgot to tell you, this is the gift from the school's anniversary celebration, do you remember it?"
"Didn't you say this thing was lost?" Hearing her words, Shen Qingli stared intently at the thing in her hand, and inexplicably began to feel that the thing was a little too hot to handle.
-
All her memories go back to the year she left Suzhou. Before boarding the high-speed train to Nanshi, she not only changed her phone number but also left the only two groups related to Suzhou No. 1 High School.
She hadn't even opened the form that the teacher had previously tagged all the students and asked them to fill in their mailing addresses.
For Shen Qingli, if it were a gift from another classmate, she might have filled it out. But it was from Lin Xiaqing. Although she knew it was just a gift that everyone had and that everyone received the same, she really didn't know how to handle it if she actually got it in her hands.
So she simply didn't fill in that address and information.
However, after she left, the school officials couldn't contact her, so they found Shen Qingyun and Luo Yiqiu, who insisted on sending this to her. She really didn't understand why they had to give her this gift, which was sent out according to the number of people listed on the form.
In short, the gift remained unused in Shen Qingyun's possession. She tried several times to send it to Shen Qingli, but Shen Qingli refused with various excuses. Until the end of last year, when Shen Qingyun moved, she accidentally lost the gift.
She searched for several days, turning the house upside down, but couldn't find it. Finally, having exhausted all other options, she apologetically called Shen Qingli.
"It's okay, it's gone, it's alright."
"That won't do. This is your stuff. I've been so busy these past few days that I actually lost it."
Shen Qingli's original intention was only to comfort Shen Qingyun. She herself had no expectations for this thing. However, hearing her sister's anxiety and worry on the other end of the phone, she sighed and tried to make a joke to comfort her, just like the other sister had said before: "Then don't look for it for now. Maybe it will reappear on its own in a few days."
Upon hearing this, Shen Qingyun remembered that these were the words she had used to comfort her before, and was momentarily speechless. "What if it just doesn't appear?"
"..." She only meant to make a joke to ease Shen Qingyun's mood, but she didn't expect her to say that. Now it was Shen Qingli's turn to be silent.
She inexplicably recalled the contact information she had lost many years ago. At that time, she was extremely anxious, and Shen Qingyun, unable to bear seeing her distress, could only offer herself a clumsy way of comforting herself.
Although they both knew it was impossible, for those three years, Shen Qingli hoped every day that the lost thing would suddenly appear in some corner of the house.
Unfortunately, it didn't happen. Even after she moved away and never went back, the lost contact information never reappeared. Her initial expectation turned into a sense of relief.
Thankfully, that contact information wasn't found, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to face it. She couldn't face a note with Xia Qing's name on it, nor could she watch something she once cherished become unimportant.
Everything that once brought her immense joy became the final source of her pain.
Seeing the people in your memories change, and then finding things from the past, the stark contrast between the two is very hurtful.
Thinking of this, she remained silent for a long time before murmuring in an almost inaudible voice, "If she doesn't appear, then it means we're not meant to be."
There was no fate between them, so the contact information she lost was never found again; there was no fate between them, so everything about Lin Xiaqing would never end up with her.
And she will no longer be controlled by that pain, because she has already experienced that feeling once before.
Everyone is changing, Lin Xiaqing is changing, and she is changing too. She no longer expects to receive anything about him.
A relationship that started out could end so sadly. Shen Qingli had almost forgotten that she initially fell for him simply because she was happy to be with him.
The loss of that gift will only make her more aware of the situation.
Everything is irreversible and can never be reverted.
However, Shen Qingyun didn't hear what Shen Qingli was saying at that time, but no matter what Shen Qingli said, she still didn't give up and continued to search.
-
"I found it in a bag in my closet. I couldn't find it anywhere before, but you were right, it actually appeared." Shen Qingyun said on the phone, "It seems this thing is destined for you, that it was actually found."
She was talking to herself on the other end of the phone, but Shen Qingli was somewhat lost in thought. She silently clenched the box in her hand, her mind repeating Shen Qingyun's words over and over.
There was no fate involved.
As for fate, she and Lin Xiaqing never really had any connection.
There was always something missing between them—a step, a moment, a past and a future. The only thing that wasn't missing seemed to be the rain of those few years, which felt cold and chilly on people.
After thinking it over, she sat absentmindedly on the sofa by the window, put down the things she hadn't put into the refrigerator yet, and held the box in her hand with some weakness. At this moment, she seemed to be unsure whether to open it or not. Just then, a gentle breeze blew in from the window in front of her. Shen Qingli looked up and stared at the lush green trees outside. It was already early May, and the temperature outside Nanshi was no longer as cold as it had been a few days ago.
"Summer is coming again." With her ear pressed against the phone, she didn't answer Shen Qingyun's question, but said something out of the blue.
Those words were carried away by the wind and disappeared silently into the wind.
Shen Qingli had promised herself that she would seal all memories of Lin Xiaqing in Suzhou and let everything pass.
But the lingering pain of unrequited love seemed to continue into every summer that followed. She still didn't know the answer to what happened back then, or why he suddenly distanced himself from her. Sometimes, Shen Qingli wondered if this was just a matter that was never going to end.
Lin Xiaqing didn't dislike her, but he didn't like her either. He just didn't care about her, so he didn't need to explain himself. It was all her own choice.
-
After hanging up Shen Qingyun's call, she remained frozen in her seat for a long time, staring blankly into the distance. It wasn't until a sharp pain shot through her shoulder that she finally snapped out of her daze. Staring at the object in her hand, Shen Qingli took a deep breath and, as if she had finally mustered the courage, gently opened the box.
The metal clasp of the box was opened, and the necklace inside suddenly fell out. Shen Qingli was caught off guard and almost instinctively reached out to catch it, only to find that both sides of the necklace were fixed inside the box, and only the pendant inside was hanging in the air.
Bathed in the sunlight streaming through the window, the necklace swayed and reflected a kaleidoscope of colors, falling onto the pristine white wall and onto her body.
Shen Qingli froze completely as the irregular patterns of light fell on her amber eyes, causing her to close them and turn her head away the next second.
She was stunned by the necklace, but her hands, resting on the sofa, trembled uncontrollably, and the bitterness in her heart began to surge uncontrollably like a tide once again.
A green pear necklace in front of me.
She lowered her eyes, but her eyelashes trembled incessantly. This necklace looked exactly like the one she had lost at a street stall many years ago.
If she had bought this by chance many years later, Shen Qingli thought she would be overjoyed. But the coincidence of having Lin Xiaqing's name on the necklace made her feel bitter and unbearable.
The scattered light fell on her face, and Shen Qingli's eyes sparkled. Fate always seemed to be playing untimely jokes on her, but she would no longer be so presumptuous as to think that this coincidence of Lin Xiaqing was related to her.
So many years have passed, when has Lin Xiaqing ever remembered anything about herself and him?
Yes, if he remembered even a little bit, he wouldn't have forgotten their promise to take the college entrance exam together so easily. Thinking of this, her eyes cleared for a moment.
She let out a sneer in the quiet living room, as if laughing at her own panic just now, but she already knew all this, and the unease in her chest was getting heavier and heavier.
She put the necklace back in the box with some discomfort. It used to be her favorite style, but now it was something she dared not look at anymore.
She lowered her eyes, intending to continue tidying up other things, trying to keep herself from overthinking. As she stood up, her right hand touched her phone, which was lying beside her leg. The screen lit up, and a notification popped up.
May 5, 2021, the Beginning of Summer.
The notification sound kept vibrating on her phone. Seeing this, Shen Qingli was startled. She couldn't remember when she had set up the phone notification.
Just as she said, summer finally arrived that year.
In fact, as she grew up, she rarely felt the difference in summer anymore. Her memories of summer were like a frozen moment, with only the year she turned eighteen remaining. However, in the summer of her eighteenth year, there was always a figure from behind.
The concrete image in her summer memories is a person.
Over the years, she has never liked summer again, yet she feels that she shouldn't hate that rainy summer of that year.
She thought that she had only had one summer.
A bitter summer.
—The End—
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Author's Note: -The End-
As I write to the end, I can't help but feel a little reluctant to part with it. My mood hasn't been very good during these past few months of serialization. I've been writing about the sweltering summer with a heavy heart, and I feel a bit bitter inside.
The love they felt in their youth is over, and I think Xia Qing and Qing Li both agree on whether or not to express it.
What's most regrettable about them is that no one remembers their feelings for each other, and no one knows that they once liked each other.
Regret lingers like a shadow, and this bitter summer has stretched from autumn to the approach of winter.
That's all for now. See you in the next book if fate allows.
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