Pretend to talk in your sleep
Bo Xiangqian realized that the little eunuch who called himself "slave" was actually the dog emperor.
So...
She chuckled secretly and suddenly came up with an idea.
"Little eunuch brother, I'm very ill now. My whole body feels like it's being roasted by fire. If you don't call the imperial physician for me, or invite His Majesty for me, if I continue to be roasted by this yang heat, I'm afraid I'll be roasted like a roast goose in a short while. Little eunuch brother, can you bear to watch me, such a snow-white swan, turn into a charred roast goose? Otherwise, when His Majesty rewards me with roast goose, roast duck, and chicken legs in the future, I'll save a portion for you, little eunuch brother?
Little eunuch brother, look at how sincere they are, don’t you feel sorry for them?
"They are willing to share their roast goose and chicken legs with you, but you refuse? They will be very sad... They will ignore you from now on, hum!"
"My dear, my dear! Who wouldn't want to eat roast goose and chicken legs? But you have to save your own life first, then you can eat them! If you lose your own life, even if you put the roast goose and chicken legs in front of my mouth, I won't be able to eat them! You are so seriously ill, what are you doing in this palace?
You don't really think that this palace is some kind of paradise, and as long as you enter the palace, you can become a noble concubine, a concubine, or a noble lady, right? If you really think so.
I must make it clear to you that since you've entered this palace, you must abide by its rules and regulations. You must not offend the Empress or the other ladies. But if you want to live more comfortably in this palace, I'll show you a clear path: you must do everything in your power to please His Majesty.
As long as you can appease His Majesty, you will have a good life in this palace in the future.
But please don't let His Majesty coax you. His Majesty works all day and all night, forgetting to eat and sleep, and is already exhausted. If you have some free time, you should think more about how to make His Majesty happy and comfortable.
As long as His Majesty is happy and comfortable, you will naturally be happy and comfortable too.
The most important thing is...
Let’s talk about our Majesty.
Although he's not exactly a kindhearted person, His Majesty is a man of integrity and kindness. Take you, my dear, for example. His Majesty was about to execute the entire Bo family. But within a few days, His Majesty changed his mind.
He actually brought you directly into the palace and specially pardoned the Bo family's death penalty. If this happened to any other tyrannical, arrogant and unreasonable emperor.
How can anyone be as kind and polite as our Majesty?
Then I will kill you all right away, right?
So no matter whether you have many complaints and resentments towards His Majesty in your heart.
Your Majesty, he knows he is wrong after all, right?
A good emperor like your Majesty, who readily admits his mistakes and corrects them, is always praised by the subjects and common people inside and outside the palace as a benevolent ruler and a good emperor. Therefore, I advise you, my lady, that if you see your Majesty again, you must not get angry with him. It would be best if you could just appease him and smooth down those two tufts of hair on the back of his neck.
From now on, my lady, you said that you are in this palace, so what is there to worry about? But I don't mean anything else. My lady, please don't misunderstand me. I just think you are kind, beautiful and generous. I usually can't stand seeing good people like you suffer and be bullied.
Whenever this servant encounters something that I don't like, I always like to nag. If there is anything that offends you, my lady, please don't take it to heart.
This is all my fault, my lady, please don't take it personally!"
Bo Xiangqian knew very well the true identity of this eunuch who kept calling himself a "slave".
But she didn't want to expose him.
Instead, I just kept laughing...
Secretly happy.
"Don't say that even though this dog emperor brother isn't a very good person, he does have a lot of tricks up his sleeve. Although I've heard that this dog emperor brother is very good at playing, I never thought that this dog emperor could play so well.
In the dead of night, he sneaked into someone's room like a ghost, and even ran to their bed, squeezed into the same quilt with them, while doing things, thinking that he would say some flirtatious words that would make their ears burn and their cheeks flush.
But I didn’t expect…
This dog emperor actually tried to imitate the eunuch's voice and tone, and even learned the eunuch's self-proclaimed name and catchphrase. His voice was like that of an old immortal, breathing out the aura of immortality, and he kept calling her "my servant, my young master..." "My servant advises my young master this and that," but when he opened his mouth, it was full of good words and good sentences sticking to himself.
Do you really think I'm a fool?
If you want me to calm down and relieve my anger, instead of trying to comfort me and make me feel distressed...it would be fine if you just pampered me. But this dog emperor just keeps trying to imitate the servant selling melons, boasting about himself, praising himself to the sky, as if the dog emperor has done nothing wrong and is the best man in the world. It's really the biggest joke in the world...it's really making me laugh to death.
No wonder people call him the "Dog Emperor". It turns out that his majesty is worse than a dog!
But he also said that I am the only one who can make him, the dog emperor, no longer an emperor in the eyes of others and would rather be a dog?
I initially thought he was just trying to coax me with some nice words, but I never expected the dog emperor, who was willing to be my dog, to actually be this "dog," to be so "dog"? Wouldn't this dog emperor be driving me crazy in the future?
I know that this dog emperor brother has always been a dog, but I didn’t expect him to be so... a dog!
I might as well be his dog. I'll see if I can't drive this dog emperor brother crazy in various ways. My name... just write it backwards!"
Bo Xiangqian pretended to be slurred and replied vaguely, "Actually, this lady's illness is not difficult to cure. As long as His Majesty can show a little consideration and care for me, I will be fine.
It really doesn't work.
I can handle it myself, but it’s still better to have His Majesty by my side to give me peace of mind.
If you, little eunuch brother, really don't want to call the imperial physician for me, nor dare to ask His Majesty to come over, could you please bring me a basin of cold water? I need it urgently. I don't know if I ate something wrong, but my forehead and eyebrows are burning all over. It's late at night and we're trapped in this palace. I want to find a pharmacy to ask for a prescription and some medicine, but there's nowhere to go. I can only ask you, little eunuch brother, to bring me a basin of cold water. I just need to stay in it for a while.
Maybe the disease will be cured, but there is also a possibility that the coldness will enter the body, penetrate the skin, flesh and internal organs, and cause the burning to become more severe.
If that ever happens, I'm afraid I won't be able to recover. It's pitiful that Miss Bo, a daughter of an official family, has to suffer from illness. Not only can I not be filial to my parents and provide for their retirement, but I also have to make them sad for their unfilial daughter. I really can't face them anymore, um... woo woo!
The young eunuch seemed moved by Bo Xiangqian's words and said hurriedly, "Don't worry, my lady. I will get you some cold water right away. I will make sure you have a comfortable bath and soak yourself thoroughly from head to toe."
Moreover, I also know the well in the backyard of the Liangyuan Palace. Your Majesty ordered people to dig a new one underground a few days ago. My lady, you don’t know how sweet the water from this well is.
I guarantee that once you drink it, you will want to drink it again.
If you take a bath with the water from this well and sprinkle some rose petals on it, who knows how comfortable it would be. My dear, you can ask His Majesty to arrange for you to live in this Good Marriage Palace. Other servants dare not boast.
But I can assure you, my lady, that the water from our Liangyuan Palace's well, even from the wells in the Empress's palace, is as sweet and delicious as the water from our Liangyuan Palace's well! But until now, only you and I know this secret.
As long as you don't tell this secret to anyone else in the palace, it will always remain a secret between me and you. No matter how envious or jealous others may be, they will never know that the water in the well of our Liangyuan Palace is as sweet and nourishing as it can be. This servant..."
"Little eunuch brother, stop calling me a slave servant and go get some water! If you keep talking like that, your life will be over. Cough cough! Cough... cough cough, I can't take it anymore, I... I can't help coughing again, hurry... hurry up and get some water! Little eunuch brother, I'm... I'm gasping for breath right now, I feel like I can't breathe, uh... cough cough cough, it's so uncomfortable, my head is burning! Am I... about to die, but I don't want to die yet!
I am still so young and beautiful, but why am I so seriously ill? Your Majesty, this big bad guy... He doesn't even come to comfort me. If he dares to come, I will turn into a big tiger and bite him hard on the shoulder and neck, making him bleed and scream loudly. Only then will I feel better..."
The young eunuch was about to speak, "That's not allowed! Your Majesty is a true dragon emperor with a body worth millions of gold. Let alone biting him, even touching him is a capital offense of disrespect..."
Bo Xiangqian pretended to talk in her sleep, giggling softly as she said, "Oh... a capital crime? That's terrible. I seem to have just dreamed of biting into a large dragon bone. It tasted a bit fishy, but as long as the sauce is good, it actually tastes pretty good. Do you know what we call this in our folk? It's something that we have every year and every festival. People call it... sauced dragon bone."
Although I'm tired of eating braised dragon bones, if I have the chance, I would like to try the braised dragon tendons and braised dragon claws.
It’s actually quite good!
"Little eunuch, what do you think of this idea of mine? Isn't it very interesting?"
The young eunuch sighed helplessly, "My lady, it seems that this servant must remind you again. In this palace and in the court, the dragon... that refers to His Majesty. You must never say these things to His Majesty in the future. Your family has just been pulled back from the gates of hell. Are you going to force His Majesty to execute your entire family again?
My dear, you must remember this.
From now on, you must never mention what you just said to me in front of anyone, especially anything involving the word "dragon"!
"Oh, no! I want to eat the dragon bone now..."
Bo Xiangqian suddenly bit into a piece of delicious braised dragon bone in her dream.
But suddenly I heard a scream beside my ear...
"Bo Xiangqian...you crazy woman, do you want to bite me to death?"
Bo Xiangqian opened her eyes and saw...
"Oh no! How could this be a dog... or His Majesty?!!!"
But when Bo Xiangqian discovered it at this time, it was already too late to regret.
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