Chapter 76 76. Dream of Thinking
When we returned to the private room, half of the dishes had already been served. Everyone was eating the newly served steamed fish, and the bottom of the plate was full of minced fish.
The TV in the box was always on. After the news broadcast, the Spring Festival Gala started. But no one watched the colorful show on TV; it just played as background music.
The topic at the dinner table changed again and again, and an uncle suddenly mentioned Xie Kang's grandfather.
"If Dad were still alive, he would be so happy to see so many of us here, with our descendants flourishing and all becoming successful."
Xie Tao looked away.
The uncle looked at Xie Kang and said meaningfully, "Kang Kang, your grandfather used to like you the most. He said he knew at first glance that you were the most promising of the younger generation and that you would lead our family to great heights in the future. Do you remember?"
Xie Kang paused holding the spoon. He knew he should say something, but his mind was blank.
Yang Ruihui said: "It's far inferior to your Xiaoyuan."
The young man next to Uncle Xie Kang, who was a successful gym worker, adjusted his glasses and said, "No, my mother always dislikes me at home."
Someone asked him, "Is Xiaoyuan still working at that cell phone company?"
Xie Kang's uncle held up his phone, pointed at the Apple logo on the back, and asked, "Does the company provide mobile phones as a bonus?"
Xiaoyuan smiled and said, "I've changed to a startup company now. They don't give out phones, but you can get discounts if you buy one."
"Oh, what a pity. I should have asked you to bring me one."
"The quality of machines made in our country is relatively good now. Many small factories in Southeast Asia make them in the United States. I have a friend who brought them over from China."
After a few people chatted on their phones for a while, Uncle Xie Kang interrupted again: "Dad passed away too early. If I had known this would happen, I should have taken Dad to the United States with me. Without him by my side, I can't fulfill my filial duties even if I want to."
Aunt Xie Kang lowered her eyes and said, "It's my fault too. I didn't call him more often back then. I didn't expect that he would still be so upset about Kang Kang's matter."
Xie Tao didn't say anything, just stared at Xie Kang.
Uncle Xie Kang raised his glass to Xie Kang again and said solemnly, "Kang Kang, the past is the past. You had just graduated from high school at that time and were still young and ignorant. Uncles and uncles don't blame you."
My aunt said, "It's okay if you can fix it."
Xiaoyuan said, "Cousin, if you have any questions about studying abroad, you can come and consult me."
Xie Kang also raised the baijiu glass beside him, but did not stand up to return the toast. He loosened his grip, and the glass rolled to the floor, slowly spreading a wine stain across the slightly dirty bright yellow carpet.
"I haven't changed it yet, and I can't change it," he said frankly.
Yang Ruihui was quick to pull his clothes, but Xie Kang didn't notice at all at that time.
"I explained it very clearly during my senior year of high school. It was when the competition teachers from Peking University came over and my uncle introduced them to me. You were there, Auntie. Have you forgotten?"
"Don't even mention it, don't even dare to mention it, talking about this or that."
"At that dinner, I told you that I don't like competitions at all. I don't want to continue dealing with a bunch of numbers and symbols in college. I don't like that. I like boys. I..."
He stopped to catch his breath, his head and face covered in sweat.
"I can't be what you want me to be, Xiaoyuan. I envied you for a while, you know? Just be yourself, and everyone will like you. You don't have to worry every day about whether they will hate you or think you're disgusting if they know the real you."
"Stop talking." Xie Tao interrupted him harshly.
"Kangkang is a little drunk, go back and rest first.
Aunt Xie Kang came to pull him, but Xie Kang rudely broke free: "In all these years, have you ever let me finish what I'm saying?"
"Grandpa was so depressed that he took sleeping pills and committed suicide, but he never explained why, nor did he write a suicide note..." Speaking of Grandpa, Xie Kang's nose felt sore again: "Why do you all think that it was because I didn't listen that he was depressed?"
Aunt Xie Kang said, "Before he left, he called your uncle and said he still couldn't forget what happened to you in your senior year of high school and he was worried about you!"
Uncle San said, "Dad took the medicine at your house. If you had taken good care of him..."
Yang Ruihui, who had been keeping her head down quietly, stood up and glared at her aunt, saying, "That's not what you say. How often do you call him?"
There was a sound of cracking ceramic. It was Xie Tao who had smashed Yang Ruihui's bowl. His eyes were wide open, bloodshot. "What are you saying here to sow discord?"
"Why else? Why did Dad end up being so angry that Kang Kang died? Why did our family, with all the kindness in their hearts, take the old man home to take care of him, only to end up with him unable to hold his head up high?"
Xie Tao yelled at Yang Ruihui: "What do you mean by kindness? He's your father-in-law, and it's your responsibility as my wife!"
Xie Kang looked at Yang Ruihui in astonishment. It had been many years since he had heard Yang Ruihui speak for him. After thinking over what she had just said, Xie Kang was sure that she was speaking for him.
The uncle finally stood up and used his status as the eldest brother to pull Xie Tao to his side. He also advised Xie Kang: "Okay, it's already happened. No one blames you. If you have any grievances, you can talk to me privately. We will have a family dinner on New Year's Eve. Let's be harmonious and stop arguing."
Xie Kang's headache was getting worse. It was always like this. If there was a true self, it was always hidden from public view, existing only in private.
Yet, he couldn't find fault with the words of his family and relatives; every word was spot-on, a testament to the survival skills his elders had carefully learned and passed down to him. They were simply doing it for his own good, and he didn't even know where to begin blaming them. Even if he were killed by the correct words, it would be an untimely death.
He rubbed his forehead, thinking about the time when he met Zhuang Yongyuan while on a blind date. Zhuang Yongyuan was so angry that he kept walking, all the way from the city to the beach.
Standing on the shoreline then, he had felt the same way he felt now. He wanted this moment to be the end of the world, the end of time.
He looked at the window of the private room. Haiyuan's window had no limiter. Back then in Yan Tong's room, had that window also tempted Zhuang Yongyuan like it did now?
Yang Ruihui's gentle voice rang in his ears: "Kangkang, I'll go home with you to rest."
Xie Tao still refused to calm down: "What home are you going back to? I'm telling you, this family's surname is Xie, not Yang!"
"Mother……"
He called out "Mom", but what came to Xie Kang's mind was Zhuang Yongyuan's face.
It's obvious that Zhuang Yongyuan has nothing to do with motherhood. He has a bad temper and gets angry when he's unhappy. He always messes up his life, his time and room are messed up, and he often forgets to eat two out of three meals. It makes me anxious just to see him...
"Mom, I don't have a home to go back to," Xie Kang said. He stood up, raised his head and took a few swigs of red wine from the bottle. He caught sight of his anxious cousins and apologized, "I'm sorry I scared you."
"I have no home to return to. I resigned and I'm no longer a teacher. There's something wrong with me. I lied to you that I'd changed, but in fact, I was sleeping with men just a month ago—"
With a "pa" sound, a bright red palm print appeared on Xie Kang's face.
Xie Tao, not satisfied with just one slap, kicked Xie Kang, shouting, "Shut up! You've completely humiliated me!"
The scene was in complete chaos. Everyone ran to pull Xie Tao and Xie Kang apart. Yang Ruihui stood in front of Xie Kang and was kicked a few times in vain. The burgundy skirt she had specially prepared for the New Year celebrations was covered in dust.
The slapping sounded again, but this time the person who was slapped was not Xie Kang. Xie Tao covered his face and looked at the young man with dyed gray hair in front of him in disbelief.
"Who are you? Why are you here?"
Zhuang Yongyuan stared at his palm, feeling a bit bewildered. After hours of hiding under the table, his entire body ached, and his hair and clothes were a mess.
He simply fixed his hair with his hands, pulled the hem of his clothes, cleared his throat, and introduced himself: "I am the one who slept with your son."
Xie Kang didn't hear what Zhuang Yongyuan said. His soul and five senses had drifted off to who knows where. He could only see Zhuang Yongyuan before him. His hair had been cut short and changed color, and he was wearing ill-fitting black clothes with dark patterns and red trim, like the waiter's uniform. His forehead and nose were slightly damp, and he was surrounded by a red glow: a red dress, a red tablecloth, red wallpaper, and a stack of red envelopes on the table.
Zhuang Yongyuan raised his other hand and punched Xie Tao in the nose, saying, "Do you know that your words are very excessive and hurtful?"
Zhuang Yongyuan found that he was always successful when he hit people, because people would not be wary of him hitting others based on his appearance. Even if he had already slapped someone once, no one thought he would hit them a second time.
He turned to look at Xie Kang and said, "I didn't expect to see you again so soon."
After saying that, Zhuang Yongyuan stretched out his hand, trying to pull Xie Kang, but Xie Kang didn't take his hand. He stared at the tablecloth that Zhuang Yongyuan had pulled when he crawled out from under the table and was now covering the chair. There was a hole on the tablecloth that was burned by cigarette ash.
The waitress opened the door and came in. She was stunned for a moment as she looked at the scene in the private room. She was holding the dishes in the steamer basket, not knowing what to do. She had also found a part-time job during the Chinese New Year holiday and had never seen such a scene. When she noticed Zhuang Yongyuan among the crowd, she asked him without thinking, "Why are you here? Sister Qun has been looking for you for a long time and is furious."
Zhuang Yongyuan scratched his cheek: "It's a long story..."
Zhuang Yongyuan glanced down at the waiter's uniform on his body, took a few steps enthusiastically, took the dish from the waitress, walked back, bent slightly, and placed the steamer on the table.
His hands were unsteady, and the hot and heavy steamer was hanging precariously in his hands. Xie Kang subconsciously wanted to help, but Zhuang Yongyuan actually managed to put the steamer down, lifted the lid with the handle, and a half-cut, shiny red crab lay on the sauce-colored glutinous rice, with steam rising.
Zhuang Yongyuan pulled out a piece of paper and wiped the grease from his hands while saying, "Then everyone continue eating. Xie Kang and I will be leaving first."
He extended his hand to Xie Kang again, and Xie Kang took two steps back. When the waitress came in, she didn't close the door, so Xie Kang ran out of the box through the open door, leaving only the sound of the door slamming.
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I finally finished writing this chapter which is really awesome but I really like it qwq. I had thought of the plot before I started writing. I feel like I’m going to say it’s rotten and smelly in the next second ^ ^
It should be finished next week!
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