Wild Growth
When Song Nian arrived, Song Shuyang had already cleaned up all the things related to him in Jin Zhou's house, but he still couldn't let go of his worries.
He had never been good at acting and was afraid that his poor acting skills would not be able to fool his mother who knew him well.
There were footsteps coming closer outside the door. Song Shuyang went over to open the door for them and called out "Mom" in a rather awkward tone.
He didn't dare to look into Song Nian's eyes, let alone Jin Zhou. His gaze was so vague that he had no place to rest.
Song Nian was very happy to see him and rubbed his head. "This is my first time to the city where you went to college. It's so lively here at night."
Jin Zhou smiled and said, "Aunt Song, please put your luggage here. Let's go out for dinner first."
Song Shuyang didn't say a word the whole time, and followed them into the elevator with a heavy heart.
Song Nian didn't ask him why he was at Jin Zhou's house. He must have given a reasonable explanation. He always handled these things well.
But when Jin Zhou quietly touched the back of his hand with his little finger in the elevator, he still backed off.
The action of withdrawing his hand was so obvious that even Song Nian, who was standing in front, noticed it. "What's wrong, Yangyang? Why do you look so worried? Are you blaming your mother for coming here without telling you?"
Song Shuyang shook his head, "No, Mom."
Jin Zhou put his hands back into his pockets and said, "Don't run too far so late. There's a good restaurant downstairs. Is that okay, Aunt Song?"
Song Nian waved his hand carelessly, "Just eat something casually, I'm not a stranger, how come you don't recognize me after just two months?"
In fact, she was only referring to Song Shuyang. Jin Zhou behaved as usual from beginning to end. No matter who was called, no one would have noticed that he had hugged Song Shuyang on his lap and kissed him this morning.
Song Shuyang was under tremendous psychological pressure, and all the cells in his brain were used to feel guilty, leaving him with no extra time to act.
He made up an excuse and said, "I'm just too hungry and my stomach hurts a bit."
After dinner, Jin Zhou settled Song Nian down and followed Song Shuyang back to his dormitory. His three roommates had all gone home, so he said hello to Guo Zixiu and borrowed his bed to sleep in for a few days.
Jin Zhou could sense Song Shuyang's uneasiness along the way, and he endured it until he entered the door before grabbing his hand and pushing him behind the door.
"Why won't you even let me hold your hand when mom comes?"
Song Shuyang was upset and had no mood to talk to him about this. "Let me go. I'm going to take a shower."
Jin Zhou tightened his grip, "Zizi, if you don't want Aunt Song to know about what's going on between us, I can always act with you so she won't notice at all."
Song Shuyang finally looked up at him for the first time tonight, but his eyes were dull. "If I remember correctly, there didn't seem to be any shameful relationship between us, right?"
After saying this, Jin Zhou's eyes darkened.
Then he sneered and said, "Indeed, I forced you to do this anyway. You are the most innocent person in the world."
Song Shuyang broke free from his hand and said coldly, "Just you know."
He treated Jin Zhou as air, picked up the basin, walked around him and went into the bathroom. The sound of water splashing could be heard, and he could finally make a small gasp.
The tip of my nose felt sore and swollen, and my eye sockets felt dry.
How could he tell Song Nian that in this far-away city, he and Jin Zhou had let their feelings grow wildly in the name of family. If she had come a step later, all this would have been completely irreversible.
Jin Zhou was the one who seduced her first, but he was not innocent either. Every time they held hands, kissed, and hugged, was it all with his tacit approval?
Saying that you were forced is just an excuse to make yourself feel at ease and become a victim.
Because of this, his disgust for himself reached an unprecedented level and he began to feel disgusting himself.
After taking a shower, Jin Zhou was still leaning against the door in the same position. He was probably messaging Song Nian and didn't look up at him at first.
After he climbed onto Guo Zixiu's bed, Jin Zhou said, "Aunt Song asked me if you had any problems."
"I'm fine," Song Shuyang lowered his eyes, "Tell her not to worry, I just have a stomachache today, I'll be fine after a good night's sleep."
"What about me?" Jin Zhou looked up at him, with unconcealable sadness in his beautiful eyes.
His voice was hoarse. "You said those things to me because you were worried that I would sleep too well tonight?"
“…” Song Shuyang really didn’t know how to answer him.
"It's too late," he thought of an excuse for his retreat, "Let's talk about it tomorrow. I'm sleepy."
After saying that, without waiting for Jin Zhou to respond, he lay down and turned over to face the wall.
There was a slight vibration from the bed, and it was Jin Zhou who climbed onto his bed.
At 11 o'clock, the power in the dormitory was cut off and the lights turned off automatically.
Although it was the first time for the two of them to sleep so close to each other, their hearts were further apart than ever before.
In the darkness, Jin Zhou suddenly said, "Song Shuyang, stop pretending to be asleep."
Seeing that the person on the opposite bed didn't answer, Jin Zhou directly exposed him, "When you are really asleep, your breathing is heavier than it is now."
Jin Zhou knew him too well.
But it was this familiarity that made him even more afraid to have any expectations for their relationship. How could that be possible? They were so familiar with each other, and even rabbits don't eat grass near their burrows.
"Don't cry, Zai Zai," Jin Zhou sighed, "I didn't expect you to feel such a heavy psychological burden about being with me."
But the more he said this, the more Song Shuyang's emotions got out of control. He bit the second joint of his thumb hard to suppress his sobs.
Jin Zhou guessed what he was doing again, "Stop biting yourself, cry if you want to, I won't laugh at you."
"Do you think you're so awesome that you can even guess what I'm thinking?!" Song Shuyang couldn't pretend anymore and burst into tears.
"You're using our experience of living together for over a decade to seduce me. How is that any different from cheating? And with that flirty look, it's normal for me to lose my judgment. Now that I've thought it through, is that not okay?"
After he roared, the air was silent for a long time.
"You mean to say that up to now, you have never been moved by me?" Jin Zhou's voice was terribly calm.
Song Shuyang said stubbornly, "Aren't you very good at guessing what I'm thinking? Why are you asking me?"
"I'm a good guesser." The bed shook slightly again, and when he spoke again, he was already under the bed. "I guess you want me to get out of here right now."
He was extremely sad, his voice hoarse, "Song Shuyang, just pretend that nothing happened between us. When the sun rises tomorrow, I will still be your good brother."
The dormitory door opened and closed with a creak.
Jin Zhou left.
Song Shuyang bit his fingers again and choked with sobs, unable to utter a word.
I'm so good at guessing what he's thinking, why did I get it wrong this time?
He greedily wanted Jin Zhou to accompany him again, even as his brother, the last night would be enough.
He climbed back to his bed using his hands and feet, curled himself up in the quilt, and greedily sniffed the scent of Jin Zhou left on it.
So this is the bad thing about being too familiar with each other when you are in a relationship. Once you break up, you don’t even have the courage to face each other again. You don’t want to see each other again, but you can’t do it.
Tomorrow he and Jin Zhou will pretend that nothing happened and go out to play with Song Nian in a friendly and respectful manner. He doesn't know how to act well in this drama, and he doesn't even know how to explain the dark circles under his eyes that are about to appear due to insomnia.
He said such outrageous things tonight, Jin Zhou must be unable to sleep.
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