Chapter 15 Is it a dream or you?
When we got home, my parents had already packed two suitcases. Su Yu and I put our schoolbags in the room and left.
Su Yu's schoolbag leaned against the back of my chair and nestled next to my coat. Just thinking about it made me incredibly happy.
"Xiaoyu and I will sit in the back, Mom, you can sit in the front."
Su Yu used to get carsick, so he would usually sit in the front passenger seat while my mom and I sat in the back.
Could it be that he wants to sit with me...? I wondered if my brother was trying to avoid being separated from me, and that's why he chose to sit in the back despite the possibility of feeling dizzy and lightheaded.
This is just my opinion, and it has nothing to do with my brother's actual personal reasons.
After closing the car door, Dad, as usual, shouted enthusiastically, "Let's go!" Our next destination was now completely far away from school, hahaha!
My mom tossed us the two bags of snacks she bought, worried we'd get hungry on the way.
"Hey Su Da and Su Er, come see your cousin! She's so fair-skinned and beautiful!"
Su Yu and I leaned over, and the baby wasn't wrinkled like we'd imagined. His skin was so fair and tender it looked like you could pinch water out of it, and his big, bright eyes were clear and untouched by the pollution of knowledge.
The little chubby hands were being teased by the adults, who kept grabbing and scratching them. So cute!
"Look how pretty that girl is. Unfortunately, we didn't remember to take a picture when Su Da was born, but she was still pretty. Su Er is even prettier, with such long and thick eyelashes."
"They all look like me, with square faces, white and strong!"
The two elders were chatting about how adorable we were when we were babies, and how handsome we became when we grew up, but their tone was full of self-admiration, especially Dad's.
Su Yu was chatting and laughing with them, but when he heard his dad say "square face," his smile froze on his face. I saw him turn off his phone screen and look at himself from left to right.
Do I really look like my dad?
I could hear fear and apprehension in his voice.
"No way, her face is much prettier than his. Don't listen to his nonsense."
"Hmm...that's fine then."
Su Yu put down her phone with relief, then, as if remembering something important, she held my hand and said, "You look good too."
"Uh, okay."
The journey was long, and I used up too much energy during the day. Now I'm feeling sleepy and can't stop myself.
"Su Er is sleepy, isn't she? Oh, when you were this age..."
My mom noticed how tired I was and remembered how I used to be. She would bring it up almost every time I felt sleepy in the car.
Then she gestured with her hand to indicate the length, "I'll prepare a pillow and a small blanket for you, and it has to be one of those pillows that can be used as a blanket by unzipping it, so it'll be more convenient to sleep on..."
"I laid out the car for you as soon as we got in, and you fell asleep as soon as you took off your shoes. Then I held your brother and watched over you, and the two of you drifted off to sleep."
"When I opened my eyes again, I was home!"
After Mom finished speaking, Dad chimed in, saying that they used to deliberately choose to leave in the afternoon so that my brother and I could fall asleep as soon as we got on the bus without getting dizzy or fussy. As we grew up, it became a habit.
Now, those pillows and blankets aren't enough to cover me, so I lean my head against the window and squeeze between the seat and the car wall, which isn't comfortable either.
Has Dad's driving skill declined? The vibrations are making me uncomfortable.
Just as I resigned myself to my fate and lay motionless with my head down to sleep, a pair of slightly damp and warm hands reached around my neck and pulled my upper body down.
"Sleep on my lap, it'll be more comfortable that way."
Ouch……
Su Yu moved over to give me more space.
He's so handsome. I'm lying on my back on his lap, and even from this angle, he looks so good. His eyes are smiling.
One hand was supporting my head, while the other was on my face, like...like treating one's own child?
Her cheeks were already warm from the air conditioning, but they were still nowhere near as warm as Su Yu's palms.
I want to send every nerve in my body to the skin on the side my brother is covering, to use all my strength to remember the warmth of this moment, and to trace the growth of the lines on his palm.
So I closed my eyes, but I still couldn't stop my heart from pounding.
"Look how good these two kids are! How close they are!"
...
Although I had my eyes closed, unsurprisingly, a woman turned on the video recording function on her phone.
Su Yude's thighs are so soft, and I can even smell a fragrance in that area.
Service area.
My parents got out of the car first to use the restroom, and then it was my turn to talk to Su Yu. Actually, I hadn't slept a wink since Su Yu let me lie on him. My eyes were closed the whole way, but my mind was filled with unspeakable images.
This move was a bit... well, I'm at that age where I'm full of youthful energy, so it's perfectly normal.
But if the person in question is my brother, then that would indeed be a bit unusual.
Who cares?
I heard the door close twice, and I knew my parents were already outside the car.
Just as I was about to open my eyes, Su Yu seemed to sense my thoughts and used her hand to press my bangs down to cover my eyes.
I was confused and didn't dare to move, but the next second before I realized what was happening, I saw my brother getting closer to me through the blindfold.
I felt his warm breath on my face, then into my nostrils. Closer, closer, what was that? Lips or skin? It touched me.
I also saw Su Yu slowly raise her face, remove her hand, and sit up straight.
A moment later, he pinched my cheek and said, "Yu Yu, get up."
Such a gentle, gentle voice, it really sounds like someone talking to a child.
I opened my eyes, and Su Yu was just looking at me, her hand still on my face, her fingertips stroking my chin.
I saw him turn his head and glance out the car window. The lines of his neck were like a sculpted work of art, and under the flickering lights outside, they could arouse great desire in people.
He stared at me like that for a long time, but when he looked at me again, he still smiled calmly.
I got up, ran my fingers through my hair, my heart still pounding.
"Let's go." He opened the car door, and a cold wind rushed towards us. Su Yu wrapped her scarf around herself, took my hand, and we went out together.
When my parents came towards me, I don't know why, but I felt that holding their hands was inappropriate. I wanted to let go, but my brother held on even tighter.
He grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom, saying, "There are so many people here, you can't get separated from your brother."
I'm already a junior in high school.
When I came out, Su Yu was waiting for me outside, half her face buried in her scarf, with only the whorl of hair on the top of her head spinning in the wind.
"It's so cold, why don't you go inside the car?"
"It's so slow."
Su Yu grabbed my hand again, ignoring my concern.
We drove fairly fast on the second half of the journey, and before we knew it, we had arrived at our hometown.
I enjoy hearing the gossip from relatives every time I travel with my parents.
"Eat first, then go back and clean up." After Mom finished assigning the tasks, we followed her.
After a warm and cozy meal, we took our luggage upstairs and began tidying up the old house that had been uninhabited for a long time.
My room and Su Yu's room were on the second floor. To be precise, it was Su Yu's room, because the other room was a storage room.
Hehe, luckily it's a storage room, thanks to my wise mom.
After we finished cleaning and wiping, it was already past midnight. After the two inspectors carefully checked the results of Su Yu and me, they finally gave the order to go to sleep.
When I lay down on the big bed, I felt like all the bones in my body were falling apart.
"Look what this is."
Su Yu walked over to the side where I was lying and squatted down, peeking out like a cat, holding something in her hand.
I took it from his hand; it was an old photo album. It contained photos of the Su family from my grandparents' generation up to a few years ago when Su Yu and I were together.
"Time flies! We'll be taking the college entrance exam next year."
We lay on the bed, flipping through the photos in the album again and again.
It was then that we realized that in this whole family, the two of us brothers were closest to each other. Our older brothers and sisters had grown up together, while our younger brothers and sisters were too young.
Only we, only we, have grown up little by little with each other in our lives.
"That's great, thank goodness I still have you."
Su Yu rolled over and lay on her side on half of my body.
"Me too, bro, it's so great to meet you guys."
"What do you mean by 'encounter'? We're all family."
At the time when the brothers were most harmonious and respectful, Mom, the dormitory supervisor, came to check on the students.
"Aren't you going to sleep yet? Let's see how you two get up tomorrow." Then he turned off the light when he left, but left the door open.
Su was close to the door, and just as he went to close it, I turned on the nightlight. It was small, but it served to show that someone was in the room.
The feeling of returning to one's hometown is really different; it feels like falling leaves returning to their roots. When I described it to Su Yu like this, he told me to go to sleep as if I were crazy.
"I sleep more relaxed when he's by my side," that's the conclusion I came to from sharing a bed with Su Yu on his tiny little bed during those few days at school.
This bed is too big; it's just the right size for Su Yu and me to sleep in.
...
It's raining outside, and the rain is leaking into the house.
wrong.
I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything. However, water droplets were falling from my eyes.
It's so blurry, I can't see it clearly.
Why is the water leaking more and more?
Someone sat on me, and someone held my neck with their hands.
It was very cold; the icy touch sent chills down my spine.
I still can't see clearly; the whole scene is blurred with mosaic.
I can hear the rain; it's raining outside. Will it be even colder tomorrow...?
"Love me...love me...Su Yu..."
Who's speaking? Is it Su Yu? Why would he say such things? Am I dreaming?
“You are my brother, you have been my brother since birth, Su Yu, I will not allow anyone else to be by your side…”
Breathing became difficult, and the person on top of me straddled me, clamping my arms with their legs, making it impossible for me to move.
"No, no, we can't, there can't be anyone else."
His words gradually became sharper, his tone filled with unease and fear.
The man's body was trembling. Was he cold? Why didn't he wear more clothes? Why did he get out of bed in this freezing weather?
"Cough...cough cough..." I couldn't help but cough lightly twice.
"Ah... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby..." Hearing my uncomfortable voice, the thin snake wrapped around my neck finally loosened its grip a little.
The sound of rain hitting the glass made it impossible for me to tell whether it was gunfire or raindrops.
It hurts so much. I frowned because I couldn't breathe. What kind of dream could be so real? What kind of rain could fall into the house?
The water on my face kept flowing, whose tears were streaming down my face?
“I… , . Yu Yu…”
The deafening roar of thunder swallowed the last sentence, and I gasped for breath in the darkness. I couldn't see anything, I couldn't see anything at all.
In the instant before I was about to faint, my suffocating hands suddenly relaxed. Three words, and that mouth was tearing at my ear, trying to make it bleed with its sharp teeth, trying to imprint those three words on my heart.
I fell asleep again, pretending it was just a nightmare.
When I woke up again, it was bright daylight, and warm sunlight shone through the thin gauze curtains. The childhood atmosphere in this little room was unbelievably wonderful. Only my mind was still in a mess; it felt like I had gone through a life-or-death struggle last night.
"I've told you not to drink so much water before bed, it makes you puffy. Look at you, you're like a balloon. Besides, the stairs in this old house are so shaky, what if you fall when you get up to go to the bathroom at night?"
"Okay, Mom. I was just really thirsty yesterday. Don't worry, I'm fine."
Outside the door, Su Yu was applying a cool towel to her eyes.
"Yu Yu, get up. I've prepared your clothes for you to wear."
Su Yu was talking to me at that small study desk.
A pink Peter Pan collar loungewear set was placed on the bed, and there were no other clothes around it, which meant it was mine.
Should I wear this?
I'm not sure, let me ask again.
"Yes, Mom said that when Auntie brought it over, it was still unopened. You were the last one to arrive, and this was the only one left."
It's kind of funny, but even the size fits me perfectly.
"Brother, what happened to you? Your eyes are all swollen like grapes."
"I……"
Before my brother could say it, my mom repeated what she had said.
My brain hadn't fully booted up yet after I fell asleep, and it couldn't process such a long passage of text. Amidst the noise, I kept thinking about what happened last night, and it just didn't feel right no matter how I thought about it. But would Su Yu do something like that? I'm still more inclined to believe it was just a dream.
If I had God's perspective, I could definitely see Su Yu staring at me without blinking from a corner where I couldn't see her while my brain was blanking.
The fact is I didn't have it, so I didn't see it.
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