Qin Yan listened quietly to Fu Changling's words. He didn't know why, but his muscles relaxed inch by inch. At the last moment, he actually got used to Fu Changling's hug to some extent.
He felt the forehead of this person on top of his own, and felt the warmth of the other person coming from the place where the two touched. He even vaguely felt that this touch was flowing with an indescribable emotion, slowly spreading over him and making him feel it.
He felt peaceful inside, and he couldn't explain why, but he suddenly felt a little more at ease.
In fact, he was always in a state of hesitation and anxiety in this relationship. He didn't know whether he was right or wrong, nor did he know whether he could get the ending he wanted.
After all, a lie is always a lie, and he doesn't know how long this lie can last.
But when Fu Changling hugged him like this, comforted him like this, and said that they had a long time to wait, for a moment, Qin Yan actually felt that what he said might be true.
But he was used to being reserved, unable to express his emotions. He could only lower his brows and eyes, and after a long moment, he murmured, "Hmm."
Fu Changling smiled. He hugged him tightly in his arms and said, "Brother, I feel extremely happy. I feel like this is truly the happiest moment of my two lives."
Qin Yan remained silent. After a long moment, he said gently, "As long as you're happy."
After a moment, he raised his hand and gently placed it on Fu Changling's back, saying slowly, "In the future, there will be many good and happy things waiting for you."
"It's us."
"Um."
Qin Yan whispered, "It's us."
The two of them hugged each other quietly, neither of them daring to make any further moves. Qin Yan was held by Fu Changling. After a long while, he looked up and wanted to speak, but saw that Fu Changling had fallen asleep. He had a smile on his face, and he seemed to be very happy.
Qin Yan's gaze fell on his face. After a long time, he couldn't help laughing, closed his eyes and said nothing.
The next morning, before they woke up, they heard a knock on the door. Yun Yu stood at the door and knocked repeatedly, saying, "Brother, are you awake? It's time for breakfast. I made breakfast, brother? Brother?"
Fu Changling and Qin Yan suddenly opened their eyes at the knock on the door. They stared at each other, and before Qin Yan could even speak, Fu Changling subconsciously jumped out of bed and rushed to the wall amidst Yun Yu's life-threatening knocks. Qin Yan called him and whispered, "Belt."
Fu Changling staggered back, grabbed his belt, and quickly went through the wall.
Qin Yan stood up slowly and said, "Wait a moment."
Fu Changling rushed into his room, his heart beating fast. After a moment's rest, Fu Changling was a little confused. Why was he so nervous?
What's so shameful about his relationship with Qin Yan? He got Qin Yan's permission in an open and aboveboard manner!
Although there are not many same-sex couples in the fairy world, it is not something to be despised. He and Qin Yan have a romantic relationship, so what is he afraid of?
Fu Changling figured this out and immediately became annoyed. He felt that he had lost some points by running back like this. After thinking about it, he took his anger out on Yun Yu. When Yun Yu knocked on the door, he rushed to the door with a fierce momentum, opened the door with a "swish", and shouted angrily: "Why are you looking at the door so loudly so early in the morning?!"
He had often joked with Yun Yu like this before, but the moment he yelled, Yun Yu's face instantly turned pale, his pupils visibly constricted, and then he hurriedly said: "I'm sorry... I just... I just..."
He was obviously panicking. Fu Changling was stunned for a moment, then he lowered his voice and hurriedly slowed down his tone: "Senior Brother Yun, I was just joking with you, don't take it to heart."
Yun Yu's words stopped. He looked at Fu Changling and forced a smile: "Is... is that so?"
"Senior Brother Yun," Fu Changling reminded him carefully, "We used to joke like this all the time. Have you forgotten?"
"Yes, yes," Yunyu nodded. "I used to joke about this all the time, but I've been alone in the cave for so long that I've forgotten about it. Let's go eat," Yunyu said, turning around. "I made breakfast."
Fu Changling frowned as he watched Yun Yu leave. He turned his head and looked at the door next to him. He saw Qin Yan coming out after changing his clothes. Fu Changling smiled happily, "Good morning, Senior Brother."
Qin Yan raised his eyes and looked at Fu Changling who was standing at the door. Seeing Fu Changling's smile, he was stunned for a moment, then slowly smiled and said gently: "Good morning."
Fu Changling saw Qin Yan smile and quickly walked over. He looked at Yun Yu's disappearing figure and whispered, "There's something wrong with Yun Yu."
"Hmm?" Qin Yan turned to look at him. Fu Changling sighed, "I think he was tortured by Aunt Yue and is now very timid. You have to be careful when talking to him so as not to provoke him. I'll observe him for a while."
Qin Yan frowned as he listened, a bit worried in his eyes, and replied, "Okay."
When the four of them arrived at the dining table, they saw Yun Yu had prepared a sumptuous meal. Shangguan Mingyan was already waiting there. When he saw Fu Changling and Qin Yan come out, Shangguan Mingyan stood up straight and saluted respectfully, saying, "Senior Brother, Brother Chen."
"Please sit down." Qin Yan nodded and sat down at the table. The four people present sat down after hearing Qin Yan's order. Yun Yu took Qin Yan's bowl and took the initiative to pour soup, saying, "Brother, come here, I'll serve you some soup."
"Why is it so rich?" Fu Changling laughed and looked up at Yun Yu, "Senior Brother Yun, your cooking skills are really good."
Yun Yu relaxed a little when he heard Fu Changling praising him. He smiled and said, "I don't know what you like to eat, so I just made some. It's all out of my heart, so just eat what you like."
"It took a lot of effort to make this, didn't it?" Qin Yan said, taking the soup from Yun Yu's hand. He looked up at Yun Yu and said gently, "You are thoughtful."
"No, no," Yun Yu said happily, "As long as Senior Brother likes it."
The group ate, talked and laughed, but Shangguan Mingyan remained silent. He lowered his head. After finishing his meal, he stood up, holding his bowl and said, "I'm a little tired. I'll go back and sleep for a while. Senior Brother, Senior Brother Yun, Brother Chen." Shangguan Mingyan glanced at everyone and nodded, "I'll take my leave first."
Having said that, Shangguan Mingyan turned around and went back to his room.
Qin Yan and Fu Changling looked at each other, and Yun Yu beside them hurriedly said, "Don't worry about him, he's tired, let's eat more."
No matter how slow Fu Changling and Qin Yan were, they could sense something was amiss between the two. But neither dared to question Yunyu. They both knew Yunyu was upset, so they took care of her, chatting and laughing with her. After dinner, the two went back together. Fu Changling said with some concern, "Yunyu treats us so well, why is she so rude to Mingyan?"
"I'll go ask."
Qin Yan spoke directly, but Fu Changling raised his hand to stop him: "Why bother you with such a small matter, Senior Brother? I'll go."
After the two of them discussed it, Qin Yan nodded and went back to his room. Fu Changling came to Shangguan Mingyan's door, knocked on it, and called out, "Mingyan?"
Shangguan Mingyan seemed to hesitate for a moment, then opened the door. He was a little surprised: "Brother Shen?"
"Come in and sit down?" Fu Changling raised his hand and pointed. Shangguan Mingyan responded and let Fu Changling into the house. He closed the door and poured tea for Fu Changling. Fu Changling tapped his palm with a small fan and said with a smile, "Aren't you bored hiding away by yourself?"
"That's fine." Shangguan Mingyan sat down opposite Fu Changling and said slowly, "I don't really like crowds."
Fu Changling picked up the tea and smiled. He lowered his head and took a sip of the tea. Then he looked up and said, "By the way, you and Senior Brother Yun seem to be quite distant."
Shangguan Mingyan froze when he heard this. Fu Changling pondered for a moment: "Is there any misunderstanding between you two?"
"It's not really a misunderstanding." Shangguan Mingyan smiled bitterly, "I'm the one who let him down."
"oh?"
"Back when we were escaping from Wangu Cliff, we were chased by evil spirits. Senior Brother Yun was behind, and I was holding onto him," Shangguan Mingyan's voice was filled with guilt. "The evil spirits caught up with us, and they clung to Senior Brother. I was powerless to pull us up, so to save me, I let go and left Senior Brother Yun behind."
Hearing this, Fu Changling paused. He looked up at Shangguan Mingyan and said, "Is there no other way?"
"If there was any way," Shangguan Mingyan looked at Fu Changling solemnly, "I wouldn't do such a thing. In fact, if I were alone at the time, I wouldn't let go, but I have a senior sister above me. If I don't let go, she won't let me go either, and then neither of us will be able to escape."
Fu Changling remained silent. Shangguan Mingyan smiled bitterly, "It's just the truth. It's really difficult to force Senior Brother Yun to understand."
"You did the right thing."
"Yes," Shangguan Mingyan replied, "If I had the chance again, I would still make the same choice. But for Senior Brother Yun..."
"He was the one who was abandoned after all."
Fu Changling sighed, put down his tea bowl, stood up and said, "I understand, he's just having a hard time thinking it through. I'll go and try to persuade him."
“Please, Brother Shen.”
Shangguan Mingyan lowered his head, looking extremely uncomfortable.
Fu Changling responded, patted Shangguan Mingyan on the shoulder, and said gently: "Don't blame yourself too much, after all, it's not your fault."
Shangguan Mingyan didn't say anything. Fu Changling felt a little embarrassed for a moment. He withdrew his hand and said, "You should rest."
Shangguan Mingyan nodded, and Fu Changling walked out. After returning to the room, he first went to his own door and stood there for a moment, then he turned to Qin Yan's door.
He didn't knock, but cautiously poked his head in through the door. Just as he had half his body in, three sword energies flew towards him, circling his head from top to left. Qin Yan sat in front of him, meditating with his eyes closed, and said calmly, "Knock on the door."
Fu Changling smiled awkwardly, then put his head back and knocked three times in a pretentious manner. The door flew open and Fu Changling walked in. He said with a rather aggrieved tone, "Brother, are you still talking about this rule with me?"
"Yun Yu and Ming Yan are both here." Qin Yan said calmly, "Don't overdo it."
Hearing this, Fu Changling recalled the morning's embarrassment and immediately became angry. He sat down next to Qin Yan and pretended to be nonchalant, "Brother, are you not going to tell them?"
Qin Yan hesitated for a moment. Fu Changling didn't expect Qin Yan to be silent. He was stunned for a moment, then turned around in shock: "You won't even give me a name?!"
"Two grown men," Qin Yan opened his eyes and frowned, "What status do you want?"
"No, no," Fu Changling said anxiously, "Are you planning to keep our relationship a secret?"
Qin Yan didn't say anything. After a moment's pause, he slowly said, "I just think we need to find a suitable time."
"What time?" Fu Changling frowned. "I think any time is suitable."
Qin Yan remained silent. Fu Changling thought he was going to refuse and was about to continue talking to him when he heard Qin Yan say, "Then go ahead and tell him."
Fu Changling: “…”
Qin Yan raised his eyes and said, "It's not a big deal."
Fu Changling's heart was choked with blood. Qin Yan seemed completely unaware of Fu Changling's changing thoughts. He took the scripture from the side and said calmly, "Have you found out about Yunyu's matter?"
Hearing Qin Yan asking about the serious matter, Fu Changling deflated. He sat beside him and whispered, "Well, I understand."
"Go ahead."
Qin Yan didn't look up. Fu Changling sullenly explained the whole story. Qin Yan listened quietly. Fu Changling sighed and said, "Actually, Senior Brother Yun asked me before at Wangu Cliff if I was really that bad. He said that he saw others making progress, but he was always lagging behind, and he felt very sad."
"Yun Yu..." Qin Yan hesitated for a moment and said slowly, "He is just still young and hasn't found his own path yet."
"As a person," Fu Changling said casually, twirling the fan in his hand boredly, "he needs to be polished. This can be considered as his experience."
Qin Yan remained silent. Fu Changling saw that he seemed worried. He thought for a moment, then leaned over and said with a smile, "How about I help you persuade Senior Brother Yun?"
"good."
"But if I were to persuade someone, I would charge a fee."
Qin Yan looked up in confusion. Fu Changling pointed at his face and smiled a little scoundrelly: "If I persuade Senior Brother Yun, then Senior Brother will have to kiss me."
Qin Yan frowned. Fu Changling tapped his fan on his palm and stood up, saying, "It's settled. Senior Brother, you go and meditate, and I'll go for a walk."
After Fu Changling finished speaking, he walked out. He wandered around and found Yunyu working everywhere.
Yunyu was wiping the stools and the tables, never having a moment to rest.
His hands were covered with scales and were not as flexible as before. He kept doing this clumsily, as if he was venting something.
Fu Changling came out in the afternoon while Yun Yu was working. In the evening, he prepared a very sumptuous dinner. After the four of them had finished eating, Fu Changling was about to help him wash the dishes, but he quickly drove Fu Changling away.
At night, when everyone was asleep, Fu Changling sneaked through the wall again and touched Qin Yan's bed.
Qin Yan heard the sound of him getting into bed, frowned and looked up: "Why are you here again?"
"I'll come a few more times," Fu Changling said with a smile as he got into bed, "You'll get used to it."
Qin Yan remained silent. Fu Changling studied his expression and asked cautiously, "You...you don't like it?"
As he spoke, he said nervously: "Then...then I'll leave."
"That's not necessary."
Qin Yan finally spoke, saying calmly, "You stay."
Fu Changling was immediately delighted after hearing Qin Yan's words. He lay beside Qin Yan and said gently, "I knew that Senior Brother was willing in his heart."
"Go to sleep."
Qin Yan turned around and faced Fu Changling.
Fu Changling looked at Qin Yan's back quietly. After looking for a long time, he stretched out his hand and held him in his arms.
The two of them slept in a daze until midnight, when Fu Changling vaguely heard footsteps outside. Fu Changling got up gently and whispered to Qin Yan, "You sleep, I'll go check."
After saying that, he pulled the quilt for Qin Yan, then stood up, walked through the door, and followed him out.
He followed the sound and went out, and came to the kitchen. He saw Yunyu turned on the light and started busying himself in the kitchen. It was only midnight, but Yunyu had already prepared many materials and started working.
Fu Changling stood at the door, watching quietly. He saw Yun Yu adding water and kneading the dough carefully, as if these were the most important things in his life. He didn't know why, but he felt an indescribable discomfort.
He couldn't help but call out, "Senior Brother Yun."
Yun Yu's hands trembled slightly, and he looked up hurriedly: "You...why are you here?"
"Senior Brother Yun," Fu Changling smiled bitterly, "I can't sleep. How about I buy you a drink?"
Yun Yu stared at Fu Changling blankly. After a long time, he slowly reacted.
Fu Changling didn't want to invite him to drink, he clearly wanted to talk to him.
Yun Yu lowered his head. The water in the pot beside him began to boil. Fu Changling walked over, raised his hand to extinguish the fire under the stove, and said gently, "Yun Yu, let's go."
Yun Yu seemed to be a little scared, but he still followed Fu Changling to the deck.
Fu Changling waved his hand, and a small table appeared on the deck with wine on it. Fu Changling asked Yun Yu to sit down. Yun Yu kept his head down. Fu Changling poured Yun Yu some wine and said slowly, "Senior Brother Yun, I haven't heard you talk about what happened during your absence since I came back, and I didn't dare to ask. If you are willing to talk, you might as well tell me."
"There's nothing much to say," Yun Yu whispered, "You saw the result anyway."
"What's the result?" Fu Changling laughed, as if he didn't know what Yun Yu meant by his tone.
Yun Yu didn't say anything. Fu Changling picked up the wine glass and took a sip. After a long while, Yun Yu said in a hoarse voice, "You think I'm weird, don't you?"
Fu Changling paused, and Yun Yu raised his head, his eyes moist. He stared at Fu Changling: "Do you think I have a weird temper? Do you think I look weird? Do you think I have a bad personality? Do you think I'm not good at anything?"
Fu Changling drank without saying a word.
Yun Yu yelled, "Speak up!"
"Senior Brother Yun," Fu Changling looked up at him, "Why don't you trust yourself a little more?"
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is," Fu Changling laughed, "Senior Brother Yun, you are actually very good. You don't need to do anything. Everyone will like you."
"No matter what you become, no matter who you are, as long as you are still the senior brother Yun who cares about others," Fu Changling said in a gentle voice, "everyone will like you very much."
Yun Yu didn't say anything. He looked at Fu Changling and tears flowed unconsciously.
Fu Changling quickly poured him some wine and said, "Don't cry, come on, drink some more."
Yunyu sniffed, raised his glass and drank it all in one gulp.
After he finished drinking, Fu Changling poured him more wine, and he drank again and again. After drinking for a long time, Yun Yu suddenly said: "Actually, I know everything you said."
"I don't blame my senior sister. I know she should have given up on me, but I just feel bad. I blame myself."
As he spoke, Yun Yu raised his hand, covered his forehead, and hid his face, saying hoarsely, "I blame myself for not being able to see things clearly, for caring about who has more and who has less, and for not working hard enough, for not having talent, for having a bad temper, and for being narrow-minded."
"Actually, this isn't necessary. I also know that I'm getting further and further away from everyone." Yun Yu raised his head and looked at Fu Changling. "I'm incompetent and I'm annoying. I'm not as sensible and good-tempered as Ming Yan, and I don't have the ability you have. Although you are my junior brothers, you are much better than me."
"I deserve everything."
Yun Yu said, tears slowly falling: "I am just not likable. I know you will come to save me, so I wait day by day."
"I was waiting when my flesh was gnawed clean at Wangu Cliff. I was waiting when Madam Yue used those disgusting things to stick to my body. I was waiting when I was in pain. I was waiting when I was sober. I finally waited for you to come, but I suddenly realized that I don't want you to come anymore."
"When you come, I keep thinking, do you hate me and feel disgusted when you see me now? I'm not a likable person to begin with." Yun Yu lowered his head and smiled bitterly, "Now I'm even more disgusting."
"I know you think I'm crazy," Yun Yu said slowly, holding the wine glass. "I do these boring things every day, but apart from these things, I don't know what to do. I have to do something for you, otherwise I'll be scared."
"What are you afraid of?"
Yun Yu couldn't say anything, and Fu Changling smiled bitterly: "I'm afraid that if you don't do something, others will dislike you."
Yun Yu held the wine glass in his hand without saying a word. Fu Changling lowered his head and chuckled, "Senior Brother Yun, who told you that a person has to do something for others in order to be liked?"
Yun Yu was stunned for a moment. Fu Changling turned his head away. He leaned back on the chair, bent one leg, and gently placed his hand on his knee. He held the wine glass and looked at the bright moon in the distance. He smiled and said, "No, it doesn't matter if you like someone or what he has done for you."
"Just like I like my senior brother. I used to think it was because he was nice to me. But then I slowly realized that no matter whether he was nice to me or not, I still liked him as a person."
As he spoke, Fu Changling turned back with a smile: "Senior Brother Yun, we are all here not because of responsibility, but simply because of you. You don't need to do anything. In fact, we all like you very much. No matter what you become, no matter who you are, we are all your brothers and sisters. Just like if the eldest brother became a demon, would you hate him?"
"Won't."
Yun Yu blurted out, and Fu Changling laughed: "That's it. For all the fellow apprentices," Fu Changling said seriously, "regardless of whether Senior Brother Yun has talent or not, whether he has outstanding cultivation or is good at dancing, in fact, I have seen Senior Brother Yun like this since the first day I met him. I thought Senior Brother Yun was very good in the past, and I still think he is very good now."
Yun Yu didn't say anything, he just looked at Fu Changling quietly.
Fu Changling saw that his expression was wavering, and he chuckled, "It's late now, Brother, go back and have a good rest. There's no need to force yourself to do anything, Brother, just be yourself, that's enough."
As he spoke, Fu Changling raised his glass: "Or another drink?"
"No." Yun Yu took a deep breath, "I'll go back first."
Having said that, Yunyu stood up, lowered his head and left.
After Yun Yu left, Fu Changling sat there without moving. Qin Yan walked out from the dark and looked at the person not far away quietly.
Fu Changling wasn't wearing his usual clothes; he had come out in a hurry, so he was wearing Qin Yan's clothes. He was dressed in a white robe as white as snow, with his hair half-tied up by a headband. He leaned casually against the back of his chair, holding a wine glass, and looked at the moon from the railing. The bright moon was not far away, and the combination with the table and the person formed a beautiful picture.
When Fu Changling heard Qin Yan's voice, he slowly finished his last glass of wine and turned to look over.
"Senior Brother is here." Fu Changling smiled. He put down his wine glass, stood up, put his hands behind his back, walked towards Qin Yan, and said with his head down, "We're done talking. Let's go."
Qin Yan said nothing. He stared at Fu Changling quietly. Fu Changling felt something was wrong and turned to look at him: "Brother, why don't you leave?"
"How could you imagine that he did all this to please us?"
Qin Yan stared at Fu Changling, who remained silent. He was slightly taller than Qin Yan, and when he lowered his head, the two of them were very close. Fu Changling smiled lightly, seeming a little embarrassed: "Because, I would think so too."
As he spoke, Fu Changling looked up at Qin Yan: "Sometimes I also wonder what I should do to make Senior Brother like me more."
"I know that Senior Brother doesn't like me. He only agreed to me because he saw how pitiful I was at the time and he was kind-hearted." Fu Changling smiled bitterly, "I understand this kind of anxiety."
Qin Yan didn't say anything. Fu Changling put his hands behind his back, turned his head, and said slowly: "But it's not a big deal. Yunyu is still young, and I..."
Before he could finish his words, Fu Changling felt soft and slightly cold lips gently brushing across his face.
Fu Changling was stunned. Qin Yan turned around and said calmly, "Let's go."
Fu Changling slowly turned around and saw the back of a person walking alone on the corridor. The figure was tall and thin, but different from what he remembered.
This time, he finally felt that the voice carried a hint of tenderness and joy.
Although he was walking alone, it seemed as if there was someone beside him or behind him.
Fu Changling smiled, pursed his lips, lowered his head, and followed Qin Yan.
"What you said to Yunyu tonight," Qin Yan said slowly, "you remember it yourself."
"Um."
"If one day I really like you," Qin Yan said calmly, "it will definitely not be because you are nice to me."
"It's just because you are Fu Changling."
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