Chapter 1203 Want to Remember
Gu Wanqiu stood there stiffly. The wind in Haicheng was gentle and she didn't feel cold at all.
But at this moment, Gu Wanqiu felt a coldness sweeping over her whole body. Her body was as stiff as a stone statue. She stood there motionless, her head slightly lowered, staring blankly at the tombstone.
Li Jin walked over, took out the tissue he brought with him and wiped the tombstone clean bit by bit. After the thick dust was wiped away, Gu Chaodong's photo was finally revealed. Gu Wanqiu's eyes were dry, but she still didn't blink and stared at the photo on it.
"Did you see it clearly? Did you remember anything when you saw your father's face?"
Gu Wanqiu blinked her eyes. Apart from feeling a little uncomfortable, she didn't feel much.
No extra memories appeared in her mind, as if her father was just a familiar stranger.
It gently stirred up ripples in her heart, but quickly calmed down, not even as painful as she had imagined.
Could it be that in her mind, her father is not important enough to stimulate her and help her recover her memory?
Will her memory ever be restored? From her initial hesitation to her current indecision, she herself can't tell whether she wants to restore her memory or not.
Is she her true self after losing her memory? What was she like in the past?
This time, she felt like she was in a fog and even she couldn't see herself clearly.
Gu Wanqiu's face turned very ugly.
"What's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?"
"No... I still can't remember anything. What was my relationship with my dad like before? Is it true that there is no such thing as a father and daughter relationship as you said?
Otherwise, why do I have no memory at all when I see his tombstone... I can't remember anything?"
"Do you believe what I say?" Gu Wanqiu's question was ridiculous. Hadn't she always believed that what Gong Qing said to her was right and true? Now she was standing in front of her father's grave and asking him this. What? Was she doubting Gong Qing?
She shouldn't have believed it, or maybe she shouldn't have asked Gong Qing such a ridiculous question.
She shouldn't have questioned Gong Qing.
But what she didn't know was that there is a saying that when you start to doubt, many things become true.
Once a person plants the seed of doubt, it will soon sprout. One seed is not enough to play any role, but as time goes by, the sapling of doubt will grow bigger and bigger. A towering tree can provide shade, but it can also block you from seeing the light.
So to put it simply, when you start to doubt that person, the guilt has already been quietly established, and such relationships are the easiest to destroy.
Gu Wanqiu didn't know this yet, but Li Jinxing saw it clearly.
Indeed, how long can a lie last? To cover up one lie, you have to tell another, and so on and so forth... The accumulated lies are like blowing up a balloon; the bigger it gets, the closer it is to exploding.
People who tell lies will never be able to gain true love. Li Jinxing has tried it himself, and he is also waiting for Gong Qing to get backlash.
Gu Wanqiu no longer dwelled on this issue. She took a deep breath and said, "Si Yan and Si Xu said that their grandmother is here too."
"Yeah." Li Jinxing lit the fire, divided the paper money he brought, and burned it in front of the tombstone.
"You want to see?"
Gu Wanqiu asked:
"Can I see you?"
"People are dead, and now they are just cold tombstones. What's there to hide?"
But didn’t you say that I was the one who indirectly killed your mother?
Gu Wanqiu kept these words in her heart and could not say them out loud.
Similarly, if it was Li Jinxing who killed her father, wouldn't he feel guilty and afraid when he came here to visit the grave?
From Li Jinxing's skillful movements and the traces of incense and candles beside the tombstone, it can be seen that Li Jinxing comes here every year, and not just once. Every time after visiting his mother, he will burn some paper money for her father. After all, Gong Qing knows that there is no one else in the Gu family, and no one except Li Jinxing will do these for her father.
The two children became very quiet after arriving at the cemetery, talking as little as possible. This is how they are every year when their father brings them here, but today their mother also came with them.
The dead are the greatest. In order to let them sleep better in the underground, you should speak quietly when you come here and not disturb them.
After Li Jinxing lit the paper money, he stood up and moved to the side. The two children took the empty space, knelt down, and kowtowed three times.
Gu Wanqiu followed suit and knelt down, kowtowed to the ground ten times. She kowtowed so many times that she felt a little dizzy after doing so many times.
She knelt on the ground, now looking at the photo on the tombstone. Gu Chaodong in the photo was very young and handsome. It is said that daughters usually inherit their father's looks, and this is true. Gu Wanqiu could no longer remember what she looked like before the plastic surgery. Although Gong Qing had her old photos, she never looked at them.
Dare to look.
Now seeing Gu Chaodong's photo, she vaguely remembered some things. From her father's face, she found her own shadow.
She didn't know what to say.
It is said that the souls of the dead can hear the voices of their hearts. As long as you think seriously in your heart, the other party will hear it.
Gu Wanqiu's mind went blank. At home, she thought about how she would feel after arriving at the cemetery... Perhaps her hatred for Li Jinxing would deepen, or she might feel wronged and sad, or perhaps she would blame herself. After all, she hadn't come here to see him in all these years. Even when Li Jinxing mentioned taking her to Haicheng, her first reaction was to refuse.
She hated Li Jinxing because of her father, but when she thought about it carefully... after she came here, she went from fear to calmness, which was something she did not expect. Just like Li Jinxing said, she and her father did not seem to have a deep father-daughter relationship.
What do people think about when they are at the grave of their loved ones? Will they think about how they are blessing them in heaven? Or will they think that they are doing well now and if their spirits are still there, they should not worry.
What Gu Wanqiu was thinking in her heart was "I'm sorry."
She felt sorry for her father. It had been so long... She had only just come here to see him. Even during all these years, when she was alone, she had thought about many things, but she had thought very little about him. She had not fulfilled her responsibilities as a child.
Gu Wanqiu had secretly made up her mind at this time. She wanted to restore her memory. If possible, she hoped that her father would appear in her dreams and tell her all the truth. No matter what the result was, she could bear it.
"Ten kowtows are enough.
One a year is enough to make up for it." Li Jinxing said this calmly, without any unnecessary expression on his face. He spoke from the heart, without any sarcasm.
"Repair..." Gu Wanqiu muttered to himself, "How can it be repaired after so many years?"
Li Jinxing frowned, not knowing what Gu Wanqiu was getting into and what she was arguing with him about.
"The baby in your belly now..." Li Jinxing paused and didn't continue. Now, he was afraid that whatever he said would be wrong. One was her deceased father, and the other was the "enemy who killed her father." If he dared to mention it here, the baby in Gu Wanqiu's belly would be...
Isn't this just provoking her? Being entangled with the "enemy who killed her father" is enough to make her uncomfortable. Now she is pregnant with the "enemy who killed her father"'s child, and came here with the "enemy who killed her father". If this is true, I'm afraid she will be so angry that she will push the coffin lid out.
What Li Jinxing should do now is to be like the two children, be quiet and not talk.
But he stopped talking halfway, and the two children looked at him curiously.
Li Jinxing noticed the two children's curious gazes and was worried that they would say something inappropriate, so he quickly stopped them with his eyes.
Although Gu Wanqiu only heard half of it, she roughly knew what Li Jinxing wanted. Seeing that he didn't say a word, she didn't care.
But even if she did care, what would it matter? Could she still argue with her here?
As long as she didn't recover her memory, the situation would remain unchanged. She trusted Gong Qing and would only listen to him. She would commit herself to him for a while, just waiting for the Spring Equinox...
Ke Ru
If all her memories were restored during this period, as Li Jinxing said, he had not wronged her, but would this change anything? Gu Wanqiu asked herself, she and Li Jinxing had been together for so long, and their relationship was not happy. He had concealed her pregnancy, deceived her, and wanted her to give birth to this child regardless of her wishes... Just for these things, she would not be with him. She wanted to leave, giving up both children.
Gu Wanqiu looked at the two children silently. She slowly stood up from the ground. It was inconvenient for her to move with her big belly. Even though it had only been a few days, her belly had become heavier. She knelt on the ground and kowtowed ten times. It was a bit difficult for her to stand up, so she stood up with the help of Li Jinxing.
There was still dust on her forehead, and the skin was slightly smoothed. You could imagine how hard she had hit it just now.
Li Jinxing reached out and gently brushed away the dust on her forehead.
Gu Wanqiu didn't dodge and said, "Let's go see your mother."
"Grandma's tombstone is over here. Mom, please come with us."
Si Yan and Si Xu led the way in front, some distance away from Gu Chaodong's tombstone, on the edge. The cemetery here was close to the sea. Standing on the edge, one could vaguely see the shadow of the sea in the distance.
This cemetery is also a Feng Shui treasure land. The price has increased rapidly in recent years and it has become a cemetery that only rich people can choose. Some locations have even been sold for millions.
More than ten years ago, the cemetery here was not so high. After Li Jinxing's mother died, he was penniless and was buried by Gu Wanqiu. When Gu Wanqiu took him away, she said that she would choose a good tomb for his mother.
land.
This cemetery is indeed a good place. His mother loves to watch the sea the most. Unfortunately, she has been lying in bed for so many years. Even though she is in Haicheng, she has never taken her children to see the sea.
In return for a favor, Gu Wanqiu arranged a cemetery for his mother, and he arranged a cemetery for his father, also choosing a good location. From the perspective of feng shui, it is better than this place.
There are only a few lines of words on Li Jinxing's mother's tombstone, no photos.
Gu Wanqiu asked: "Why are there no photos?"
Li Jinxing squatted down and wiped the tombstone as usual, then inserted the incense and candles, lit the paper money, and then placed a bunch of chamomile he bought on it.
Li Jinxing replied, "My mother always loved beauty. When she was young, she loved wearing skirts. Unfortunately, she was poor back then and saved all her money. She never even had a photo taken of herself looking good. Later, she couldn't even save money. She was always worried about food. Just having enough to eat was enough, and she didn't even care about looking good... Because of me, she became the most miserable mother, suffering domestic violence and abuse from her husband... She was never able to get out of that marriage, and when she died, she was not beautiful... My mother always loved beauty, so how could she allow her ugliest photo to be placed on this tombstone that represents her, for everyone to see?"
Li Jinxing seemed to be recalling the most painful year of his life, the year he lost his mother.
Think about it, a woman who has been suffering from domestic violence for many years and has only despair about life except for her son, how can such a woman maintain a good appearance?
But in Li Jinxing's eyes, his mother is still the most beautiful, and she still likes to wear beautiful skirts.
mother.
If only my mother had been a little more selfish and used the money to take a photo.
At least now he can still see her and recall her appearance, instead of facing a cold tombstone and being unable to even remember what she looked like.
After answering Gu Wanqiu's question, Li Jinxing knelt on the ground and asked the two children to kneel beside him: "Mom, I came to see you this year, and I brought your two little grandsons with me. Everything is fine with me this year, no illness or disaster, and I am living a smooth life. Don't worry about me or your two grandsons in the downstairs, they are all fine..." Li Jinxing did not stop burning paper money while speaking, and kept muttering to himself about the most ordinary things in his year. This was not like the usual Li Jinxing at all.
It is said that when facing the people closest to you, you can be your truest self. Li Jinxing's face lost its usual coldness and hardness, becoming more gentle. When he talked about his two children, his eyes lit up.
Is this the truest Li Jinxing?
Li Jinxing: "This year, you will have a granddaughter soon, so there will be one more person to visit you in the future. Wait for the Mid-Autumn Festival, and I will bring your grandchildren here to see you."
When talking about the baby in Gu Wanqiu's belly, she felt a little uncomfortable.
At this time, she also determined that the baby in her belly would not be born.
So nothing will change in the future, there won't be another granddaughter, and the only ones Li Jinxing can bring here are Si Yan, Si Xu and others.
"Grandma, my brother and I listened carefully to Dad."
"Grandma, we can go to elementary school next year."
Unknown
I wonder if Li Jinxing said something to them. The two brothers usually like to talk about "Mom", but this time he didn't mention a word.
Li Jinxing kowtowed three times on the ground, stood up, and then looked at the two children who kowtowed seriously.
Gu Wanqiu stood aside without moving. Li Jinxing had never thought of asking her to see his mother. It was beyond his expectation that she could stand here.
"Let's go home."
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