Jiang Zhi thought again of what Shen Qingchen had said to her in the garden. He said he didn't care about her past, only her present and future. He was willing to accompany her to face any difficulties, whether it was revenge or something else. His words made her feel extremely warm at the time, but thinking about it now, she felt a little worried. She didn't know if Shen Qingchen really understood her determination for revenge, nor did she know if he was capable of bearing the possible consequences.
She was constantly struggling deep in her heart. She tried to find a compromise that would allow her to continue her revenge and still be with Shen Qingchen. However, she knew that this was almost impossible. The road to revenge was full of dangers and uncertainties, and she couldn't let Shen Qingchen get involved. If she gave up revenge, she couldn't face her own heart.
Jiang Zhi's mood became increasingly irritable. She felt like a bird trapped in a cage, wanting to fly out but unable to find the exit. Her mind told her to hold on to her belief in revenge, but her emotions kept pulling her towards Shen Qingchen. She didn't know how much longer she could hold on, nor did she know what choice she would ultimately make.
She walked to the window again and looked out at the world outside. People came and went on the street, each busy with their own lives. She suddenly felt very lonely. She was the only one in the world facing such a dilemma. She longed for someone to understand her and give her some guidance. However, she knew that the decision was ultimately hers.
Jiang Zhi's eyes fell on a building in the distance, where Shen Qingchen's company was located. She imagined Shen Qingchen busy in the office. His concentration and confidence fascinated her. She knew that her feelings for him were no longer just touching, but a deep love. This love made her want to be close to him and want to be with him.
But every time she thought about revenge, her heart felt like it was being weighed down by a huge rock, so heavy she couldn't breathe. She felt like she was torn between two worlds: one filled with love and warmth, the other filled with hatred and darkness. She didn't know how to bridge the gap between these two worlds, nor did she know if she had the courage to try.
Jiang Zhi's mind replayed the scene of Shen Qingchen chasing away the thugs for her. His caring eyes and gentle words made her heart flutter. She recalled the peaceful and happy feeling she had when she admired the flowers with him in the garden. It was a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time, a feeling that made her want to immerse herself in it forever.
However, her revenge plan was like an insurmountable wall between her and Shen Qingchen. She knew that if she wanted to continue her revenge, she had to keep her distance from Shen Qingchen. Because she didn't want him to be hurt because of her. However, she couldn't bear to leave him, and couldn't bear to give up the feeling of being loved.
She began to recall her upbringing. From being abducted by the daughter of the East Country leader and sent to foster care in the countryside, to being secretly adopted by her grandfather, she had endured countless hardships and setbacks. She had learned to survive adversity, to be strong and courageous. However, faced with the choice between love and revenge, she felt utterly helpless. She felt her own strength had become so fragile in this moment, and she didn't know how to rediscover that unwavering faith.
Jiang Zhi was torn between two souls. She felt as if her soul had been split in two: one half yearning for love, the other consumed by the flames of revenge. She tried to reason with her feelings, but her emotions, like a surging tide, repeatedly overwhelmed her rational defenses. She knew she had to make a decision quickly, or she would sink deeper into pain.
She thought back to the sunrises and sunsets she had seen in the countryside. Back then, although her life was hard, her heart was at peace. She longed for that peaceful life, but she knew that she would never be truly at peace until her revenge was complete. She also longed to live a happy life with Shen Qingchen, but she didn't know if she was worthy of such happiness.
Jiang Zhi unconsciously clenched her fists. She told herself that she couldn't hesitate like this any longer. She had to make a choice, whether it was right or wrong, she had to face it bravely. She began to re-examine her revenge plan, wondering if it was really worth giving up her love. She also began to re-examine her feelings for Shen Qingchen, wondering if this feeling could really make her give up revenge.
She sat in the room for a long, long time, until night fell and the room became pitch black. She didn't turn on the light, just sitting quietly in the darkness, thinking about her future. She knew that this night would be a turning point in her life, and no matter what choice she made, her life would be drastically changed.
Jiang Zhi's heart was like a turbulent sea, a whirlwind of emotions. Her love and revenge were like two ships sailing on the sea, one heading for light, the other for darkness, and she stood between them, unsure which to board. She felt as if her life was controlled by fate, and her only task now was to wrest control from it and make her own choices.
She thought again of the flowers Shen Qingchen had given her. Though they had withered now, the traces they left in her heart would never fade. She knew that Shen Qingchen's love for her was like those flowers: though they might wither, when in full bloom, they were incomparably beautiful. She wanted to hold onto this beauty, but she feared it would be swallowed up by the darkness of revenge.
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