Jiang Zhi walked on the way home, the street lights stretched her shadow long. Her mind kept appearing Shen Qingchen's figure, those scenes of him helping her secretly, playing over and over like a slideshow.
Today at the hospital, when she once again heard that a mysterious person had helped solve a difficult problem, a slight ripple appeared in her heart. She knew that this mysterious person was most likely Shen Qingchen. She tried to ignore it, but that subtle emotion always emerged inadvertently. Back home, sitting on the sofa, the surroundings were so quiet that she could hear her own heartbeat, and the heartbeat seemed to remind her of the unrest in her heart.
She recalled the first time she had met Shen Qingchen, on a street corner in a bustling city. She was engrossed in searching for clues that might lead to Tang Junxi's death when she bumped into him. He was dressed in a sharp suit, his eyes captivating and deep. In that moment, time seemed to freeze. But her heart was filled with revenge, so she gave this handsome man only a fleeting glance before turning away. Yet, as if by design, their paths crossed many times.
As Shen Qingchen continued to help in secret, Jiang Zhi found that her hatred for him was not so strong. She began to recall the little things they had done together. Those afternoons when they strolled in the park together, the sunlight shone on them through the gaps in the leaves, forming patches of light. They held hands, without words, just quietly enjoying each other's company. Another time, they were cooking together at home, and Shen Qingchen was clumsily cutting vegetables, but accidentally cut his finger. She was angry and distressed at the time, and while blaming him, she carefully bandaged him. But he smiled and said, "As long as I can eat the food you cook, this little injury is nothing." That smile was as warm as the sun, shining into her heart.
Occasionally, she would yearn for his presence. When minor trouble arose at the hospital entrance, she would subconsciously wonder if he would suddenly appear and solve the problem as he had before. When she encountered difficulties, she would unconsciously wonder if he was helping her silently behind the scenes again. But every time this anticipation welled up in her heart, she would be immediately overwhelmed by fear. She was afraid of being hurt again, afraid that after the sweetness, there would be endless pain. She was afraid of falling in love again, only to be betrayed again.
These conflicting emotions made her even more tormented. She often tossed and turned at night, unable to fall asleep. She looked out the window at the moonlight, its bright light seeming to mock her indecision. She thought of Tang Junxi, of the vows they had made, but now, her heart was filled with the shadow of someone else. She wondered if Tang Junxi, if he were still alive, would understand her current feelings.
While working at the hospital, she would occasionally lose focus. Once, while treating a patient, she almost prescribed the wrong medicine. She was shocked by her mistake and realized that Shen Qingchen's appearance had such a huge impact on her life. She began to blame herself. How could she be distracted by someone who had hurt her before? She tried to focus on her work again, but her thoughts were always out of control.
She tried to escape this feeling, throwing herself even more desperately into her revenge plan. She searched everywhere for clues about the mysterious organization, leaving no one suspicious. She spoke with people who might have had contact with the mysterious organization, searching for clues in their words. But even in this process, Shen Qingchen's figure would still appear from time to time. She would wonder what he would think if he knew these clues?
She also began to pay attention to her appearance. In the past, she always wore plain makeup, dressed simply, and was obsessed with revenge. But now, she would tidy her hair a little before going out and choose a more suitable dress. She didn't know why she did this, perhaps subconsciously hoping to appear in front of Shen Qingchen in a better image when she met him. But every time she realized her behavior, she would secretly curse herself for being useless.
Once, she saw a figure in the hospital corridor who looked very much like Shen Qingchen. Her heartbeat instantly accelerated, and her steps also quickened unconsciously. But when the person turned around, it wasn't him. At that moment, she felt a sense of loss and a sense of relief. She was disappointed that it wasn't him, but she was relieved that she didn't have to face him and deal with those complicated emotions.
In her free time, she would wander around the places they had been. She would stop at the entrance of the park, watching the people inside laughing and playing, reminiscing about the happy times they had spent there. She would walk to the door of the restaurant where they had dined together, peering through the glass at the tables and chairs, as if she could still see them sitting there. But she never went inside; she would just watch silently from outside, then turn and leave.
In the dead of night, she would pull out a photo of them together. It was taken during a trip, them standing by the sea, with a gorgeous sunset behind them. Their smiles in the photo were so bright, so happy. Tears blurred her eyes as she looked at the photo. She didn't know what to do. Should she let go of the past and accept Chen Qingchen again, or should she stick to her heart and continue to keep her distance from him?
She knew that love was a risk, especially with someone like Shen Qingchen who had hurt her before. She didn't know what the future would hold if she accepted him again. She feared she would fall into the abyss of pain again, unable to extricate herself. But she also knew that her deep feelings for him hadn't completely disappeared; they were simply buried beneath the pain.
This uncertainty made her life even more complicated. She was torn between revenge and love, unsure how to choose. She felt like a ship lost in the vast ocean, constantly battered by the wind and waves, but unable to find a harbor to dock.
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