Chapter 40
In the small but warm room of Su Rui's house, time seemed to freeze. Ling Yao held Su Rui tightly, like a drowning man grasping at a piece of driftwood. The trembling of his body and the burning wetness on his neck silently told of the storm he had just experienced. Su Rui hugged him back clumsily but gently, patting his back repeatedly. She said nothing, simply quietly providing silent support.
After a long moment, Ling Yao's violent breathing finally calmed down. He still didn't let go of Su Rui, but tilted his head slightly from the crook of his neck. His voice was muffled, with a heavy nasal tone and an unprecedented fragility: "...Is it embarrassing?"
Su Rui immediately shook his head, his voice soft but firm: "No." He paused, mustered up the courage to ask, "What happened?"
Ling Yao was silent for a moment, as if trying to form his words, or perhaps gathering the courage to confess. He stepped back slightly, but kept his arm around Su Rui's waist, as if only this would give him the strength to continue. He lowered his gaze, looking at their shadows, almost touching each other, on the ground, and spoke slowly.
"Su Rui," he said hoarsely, "Do you remember that time at the basketball court when you came to bring me water?"
Su Rui raised her head, looked at him with some doubt, and nodded slightly. Of course he remembered that it took him a lot of courage to walk over there, and it was also his first meeting with Ling Yao.
"Back then, you were wearing your washed-out school uniform, your face a little red from the sun. You were timid, clutching a bottle of ice water, as if afraid I wouldn't accept it." Ling Yao's lips curled ever so slightly as he lost himself in memories. "I don't know why, but I just thought... you looked particularly pleasing to the eye, like a small animal that accidentally stumbled onto the playground, your eyes clear and bright."
At one point, Ling Yao's gaze drifted off into the distance, lost in memories. "My car passed by the flea market in the West District, and I saw you. You were with your grandmother, and she seemed to be picking up cardboard boxes and bottles. You were following behind her, carrying a large woven bag filled with plastic bottles."
That image instantly struck Su Rui, and his cheeks felt slightly hot. That was an embarrassing time he didn't want to recall, and was even a little embarrassed to be seen by Ling Yao. He subconsciously wanted to lower his head, but Ling Yao gently lifted his chin with his fingers, forcing him to look at him.
Ling Yao's eyes didn't hold the contempt or mockery Su Rui had expected. Instead, they held a complex, tender expression. "The sun was shining brightly, and there were a lot of people on the street. Your school uniform was washed pale, and your forehead was stained with sweat. You actually looked... quite disheveled."
Su Rui's heart sank.
"But," Ling Yao changed the subject, his fingers unconsciously stroking Su Rui's jawline, "there wasn't a trace of impatience or embarrassment on your face. You just followed your grandmother quietly, occasionally helping her hold up a cardboard box that was about to fall. When you occasionally lowered your head to talk to her, your eyes were gentle, even... smiling."
He paused, his voice lowering. "At that time, I thought, this person seemed so dull, so inconspicuous, and even a little bullyable in school. But at that time, on that bustling street where no one cared about a pair of grandparents picking up scrap, he didn't seem to care what others thought. He was just doing what he felt he should do and taking care of the people he wanted to take care of."
Ling Yao's gaze refocused on Su Rui's face, looking deeply into her eyes. "You know what? That look... makes me feel really safe. It's like no matter what's going on outside, you have a very stable and clean place in your heart. I've never... had anyone like that around me."
That's why he's unconsciously drawn to her, drawing closer again and again. Su Rui's humility and obedience satisfy his need for control, while her inherent resilience, filial piety, and pure stability silently soothe the immense insecurity he harbors deep within him, stemming from a lack of genuine love. In his glamorous yet cold and suffocating world, Su Rui is the only tangible, human warmth and reality he can touch.
After hearing these words, Su Rui was completely stunned. He had never thought that the most embarrassing time for him would be... like this in Ling Yao's eyes. A sour and hot current suddenly rushed to his eyes. He opened his mouth, but could not say a word.
Ling Yao looked at his reddened eyes, a bit embarrassed, and abruptly changed the subject, finally answering Su Rui's original question: "I just had an argument with my mother. She... said some awful things." He omitted the gory details, but his tightly pursed lips and the instantly dimmed gaze spoke volumes. His mother's denial was like a knife, completely severing his last remaining attachment to that home.
Silence fell again.
After a while, Ling Yao seemed to have finally made up his mind and spoke again, his voice filled with a desperate determination: "There's one more thing... In Jeju Island, the person who gave me the card that day was a talent scout. He worked for the largest entertainment company in Country J."
Su Rui's heart skipped a beat.
"I think I'll agree to it." Ling Yao stated his decision directly, his eyes fixed on Su Rui, not wanting to miss any reaction from him. "I'm going to be a trainee. As soon as possible."
——"I want to be a trainee. As soon as possible."
Those words exploded in Su Rui's ears like thunder. He looked up abruptly, his eyes wide with shock. The feeling of emotion and heartache that had just surged in his mind was instantly replaced by overwhelming helplessness and the panic of impending separation. Country J? So far away? Trainees? It was a world he couldn't even imagine.
Ling Yao looked at Su Rui's instantly pale face and bewildered eyes, and his heart inexplicably tightened. However, he did not slow down his tone. Instead, as if trying to convince himself, he quickened his pace, speaking with suppressed excitement and rebellion: "Doesn't my mother look down on me? Doesn't she think I'm a hopeless case? Isn't she afraid that I'll fly away? I'm going to leave! I want to show her how high I can fly if I leave her broken cage!"
There was a clear hint of anger and revenge in these words, but also a hint of longing for a new future and a determination to prove himself. His mother's vicious words, by some strange coincidence, became the final force that pushed him down this path.
After he finished speaking, he stared at Su Rui closely, as if he was waiting for judgment, or as if he was seeking some kind of support: "What... did you say?"
Su Rui opened his mouth, but his throat felt clogged. He looked at the fire burning in Ling Yao's eyes, a mixture of pain and ambition, and any words of persuasion were stuck in his throat. He understood that this wasn't a negotiation, but a notification. Ling Yao had already made his decision.
He recalled Ling Yao's earlier explanation for his heartbeat, and his current fragility and determination. Finally, he suppressed the turmoil in his heart, lowered his eyelashes, and spoke in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible, "...Okay. Go ahead."
Besides supporting him, what else could he say? He had never had any qualifications or ability to stop Ling Yao.
Ling Yao seemed relieved, but also seemed to have a subtle sense of loss at Su Rui's overly calm acceptance. He hugged Su Rui tightly again, melting all his confusion, anger, determination, and reluctance into this almost suffocating embrace.
Outside the window, the night in South City darkened. The small house remained warm, yet it seemed unable to withstand the wind from the outside world, howling and about to change everything. The distant country of J...
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