Shen Qingyuan Extra
Many people say I look like Ling Yao. We may be somewhat similar in appearance, but at our core, we are completely different.
My family wasn't wealthy, and my initial motivation for entering the entertainment industry was simple: to make money and support my family. Therefore, I learned to be cautious and low-key very early on, knowing full well that if I took a wrong step, no one would back me up, and I would fall hard.
I've seen so much vanity and vainness, and because of that, I cherish those things I've gained through hard work even more. My acting is the foundation of my life. I delve into it, honing it like a tool for survival. I don't hype myself up, I don't take sides, and I try to stay away from gossip. It's not because I'm aloof, but because I can't afford to lose.
I first met Su Rui on a collaborative shoot. He was quiet, tucked away behind the camera, his eyes remarkably focused and clear. Through his lens, I seemed to capture a side of me I hadn't even noticed myself—not the struggling actor Shen Qingyuan, but a more internal, authentic emotional moment. Working with him was a pleasure; he wasn't talkative, but he always understood exactly what you were trying to achieve.
Later, it was because of Ling Yao.
I could see the intense possession and hidden unease in Ling Yao's eyes as he looked at Su Rui. I also vaguely sensed an unusual atmosphere between them. I had no intention of delving into other people's secrets, but I instinctively felt that it was a bit... regrettable that someone as pure as Su Rui was trapped in such a twisted relationship.
Sure enough, the biggest storm arrived. Even though I wasn't the person photographed that night, I became the target of public opinion. Even more terrifying, the other company actually obtained evidence of my company's tax evasion and lack of documentation, which directly strangled me.
I had my family members at the helm of the company, and I was betrayed by the people I trusted most. Was I furious at that moment? Of course. But I didn't have the wherewithal to lose control. It was my fault in the first place, my shortsightedness. I had to remain calm and weigh the pros and cons. Silence was my only option at the time.
Watching Su Rui get caught up in this, suffering such an unexpected disaster, and seeing him almost broken down, I felt very uncomfortable. A complex emotion surged in me - there was helplessness and sympathy, there was contempt for Ling Yao and his team's methods, and also an urge to... protect him.
I went to him, helped him deal with the crazy harassment, and helped him move. In the beginning, it was probably more out of loyalty and a sense of responsibility.
But gradually, something changed.
Watching him silently digest his pain, watching him struggle to get back on his feet, watching him maintain a gentle perspective on the world through his lens... I found myself drawn to him. That attraction, unlike the passion or calculation so common in the entertainment industry, is a calming, desire to be closer to a warm light.
I knew he hadn't fully gotten over his last relationship. So I just stayed by his side, offering him the support and space I could. I wasn't impatient, nor did I push him. It was like patiently waiting for the script of a good play to unfold; the important thing was to let it unfold naturally, not to force it.
Ling Yao's passing caught us all off guard. It's a heavy, indescribable feeling. I watched Su Rui grieve, but I couldn't truly replace the weight of that decade-long relationship in his life. All I could do was offer him a cup of hot water when he needed it, or provide a quiet corner where he could recharge his batteries.
I signed with a new, reliable company, and I can finally focus more purely on acting, without having to worry about the messy things at the family workshop. Speaking of which, it actually feels a bit like a blessing in disguise.
Su Rui was also slowly recovering, and his camera language was even more profound than before. Between us, the tacit understanding grew day by day, like a long stream, quiet but steady.
I was a bystander and victim of this storm, and was unexpectedly pushed to Su Rui's side.
Now that the storm has passed, I no longer want to be a bystander in Su Rui's life.
I just want to try to be the harbor where he can rest in peace.
The future is still long, we can take it slow.
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