Ling Yao's Mother Extra
They all called me a mistress. Yes, I was. But I gave so much, why didn't I get what I deserved?
Ling Yao is my son, but he's also my creation, my bargaining chip, my tool to prove myself to that man and to all those who look down on me. He must be perfect, must be dazzling, and must be completely under my control.
It's not like my family doesn't have the means. The alimony Ling Guodong gives me is enough to send him to any top boarding school in the world. Studying abroad? Forget it! Wouldn't that just take him out of my control? I worked so hard to raise him, not to let him go off and live his own life! He must stay where I can see him, follow the path I've planned, and become the person I most want him to be.
Although I have a strict control over him, I have never let him down when it comes to money since he was a child, for fear that he would learn those petty ways.
An international school? The atmosphere there is too liberal; it would lead him wild. In junior high, I found a random excuse and forcefully transferred him back to the public school in the district. I wanted him to know that I had the final say over what he could and couldn't have. He had to get used to excelling in relatively "ordinary" surroundings; that's what true excellence is.
He fought back, gave me that silent, resentful look. But I didn't care. I was his mother, and I knew what was best for him.
But I never expected that my strict control would eventually push him down another path that I could not accept - he actually ran away secretly to become a trainee!
When I heard the news, I was furious! An actor! What a shameful profession! I trained him to learn piano, horse riding, and all the respectable things, not to let him go on stage and make people laugh! He's degrading himself! He's slapping me in the face!
But for the first time, he looked back at me so forcefully and said, "Where can I leave home?"
Those words were like a knife, piercing my heart. So he wanted to escape from me so badly. So, all my years of meticulous "cultivation" seemed to him nothing more than shackles that needed to be broken free.
Anger and panic overwhelmed me. I protested hysterically, using every possible means to threaten him. But he was unwavering. Finally, I compromised, but with even more stringent conditions: He had to succeed, he had to be the best, he had to earn enough wealth and fame to justify the sacrifices I'd made! Otherwise, he would be unworthy of me, unworthy of everything I'd sacrificed for him!
He did it, even exceeding my expectations. He became a top star, earning a fortune, and bought me countless luxury goods, as if hoping to bridge the emotional gap between us with material things. Ling Guodong and I also felt a stronger connection. I enjoyed the aura of being a "celebrity mom" and the vanity that money brought, but my inner anxiety and insecurity never went away. I continued to constantly remind him, spur him on, and occasionally check in on him, fearing he would make a mistake and ruin everything we had worked so hard to earn.
That scandal was my worst nightmare come true. The stain I'd spent my life trying to hide, everything I'd tried to control, was instantly shattered. The sheer terror and shame of it all made me lose my mind. I vented all my hatred on him, calling him a disaster and regretting ever having him.
When the police told me the news, I felt completely empty.
I sat slumped in my closet, surrounded by the designer gifts he'd given me, each logo mocking me. My whole life, I'd been afraid he'd get out of control, afraid he wouldn't be "successful" enough. Ultimately, my need to control had driven him to destruction.
I wanted to tie him to my side, but I pushed him further into the abyss. I longed for him to shine brightly, but I extinguished his last light.
They all called me a mistress. Yes, I was. But in the end, I became a mother who used the name of love to commit bondage, and ultimately strangled her own son.
You ask me if I regret it?
"I have no idea".
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