Chapter 4 My Relationship with Xiao Cong
His position as heir apparent was not solely inherited as the eldest son of the legitimate wife.
He defended his title year after year and held on to it.
The conflicts of interest arising from kinship and the entanglements of power are especially cruel in an era where human life is cheap.
The indifference of those in power, the ease with which highly intelligent humans manipulate ordinary people, his methods of dealing with people are endless, he can be extremely gentle when he is gentle, and ruthless when he is ruthless.
I stayed by his side and witnessed firsthand how he manipulated people's hearts and schemes to control them.
Just like how gentle he was, yet I found myself trapped by his side with nowhere to escape.
That year, he was eighteen years old, and he felt to me like the cold moon on the day of Frost's Descent.
When he turns around and calls to me, I will obediently walk to his side and reach out to hook my hand around his slightly cool fingertips.
I couldn't help but wonder if he kept me by his side to protect me, or to hang a guillotine over my head.
It's like ink falling into clear water; the intense color will silently permeate the entire water tank.
Without realizing it, I concealed the sharp edges that I couldn't hide.
We both choose to influence each other in a subtle and gradual way.
He influenced me.
But I don't know if I've affected him.
*
I will prepare a thoughtful gift for him on the special occasions that belong to just the two of us.
When he holds my hand, I will playfully tickle his palm.
When I'm angry, I'll whine, cry, throw a tantrum, and ask for a hug.
They will take the initiative to do everything that couples do when they are in love.
"I want every first time for Your Highness."
Even if he releases lanterns with other women in the future, when he gives out the lantern, he might hear the silvery laughter of the girl who released the lantern with him for the first time.
I tried hard to touch his heartstrings.
She earnestly tried to entangle him in the atmosphere of a romantic relationship.
Instead, he gradually distanced himself from me.
He no longer casually holds me in his arms for afternoon naps.
In the year I turned thirteen, the only intimate contact we had, apart from that farewell kiss on the cheek, was holding hands at a distance.
His emotions became increasingly reserved, making him difficult for me to understand.
*
Our year of being inseparable ended with the Princess of Yan interfering in his bedroom affairs.
When the Princess Consort of Yan asked him if he didn't like the two beautiful maids who served him in the palace.
He said, "It would taint my son's bed."
Princess Yan then gave him two more maids to serve as his concubines.
One is alluring, the other gentle.
I snorted loudly to express my dissatisfaction.
He brewed honeysuckle tea for me.
Before I had finished my tea, the Princess of Yan called me away.
"I've heard you've learned etiquette very well; I, the princess, would like to see it for myself."
Princess Yan kept me in her courtyard for four months.
Over the past four months, the Princess Consort of Yan has taught me a systematic understanding of the concepts of hierarchy and rank.
What is a concubine?
What is a wife?
I silently endured the ridicule and humiliation from Lin Wanru and Xiao Shuhua.
Enduring humiliation and gradually smoothing out my rough edges was a compulsory course that Princess Yan arranged for me.
She showed me with facts that Xiao Cong's protection could not extend beyond her, the Princess Consort of Yan.
Behind Lin Wanru stood the Princess Consort of Yan.
When Lin Wanru pulled me behind the screen and I witnessed that vibrant life wither under the cane of the Prince of Yan, my fear and aversion to the Prince of Yan's mansion reached its peak.
The rebellion at age twelve was punished when he was thirteen.
The moment I was pushed into the lake on New Year's Eve amidst the dazzling fireworks, I clearly felt the malice surging towards me from all directions within the Prince Yan's mansion.
His backyard can't accommodate me.
I caught a cold.
I was fourteen years old the year Xiao Cong carried me out of the Princess of Yan's courtyard.
He's nineteen.
Wrapped in a cloak that reeked of his scent, I lifted my heavy eyelids and saw his increasingly sharp and defined jawline. I leaned my head against his chest and called out to him in a pitiful voice, "Your Highness~"
He hummed in agreement.
My long eyelashes were wet with tears. I leaned against him and said in a muffled voice, "A-Qu misses home."
I want to leave.
He remained silent.
Since the matter was caused by Xiao Cong, it should be ended by Xiao Cong.
That year, Lin Wanru was seventeen, and her marriage to Xiao Cong was postponed for another year.
This infuriated the Princess Consort of Yan.
*
After seeing my eldest sister's family off, I came up with a plan to create fake transfer documents and fake household registrations.
But he couldn't find a way to escape.
As if I were afraid of the Princess Consort's admonition, I took the initiative to distance myself from Xiao Cong.
I no longer take the initiative to hold his hand.
I no longer take the initiative to give him a farewell kiss on the cheek.
I strictly adhere to the rules, and when I see Lin Wanru, I will respectfully curtsy to her.
But she either left a mark on my face with her sharp nails that faded quickly, or she mocked me.
"I'm waiting for the day when you'll kneel down and massage my legs every morning and evening."
I retorted sarcastically, "Oh, so His Highness is reluctant to go to the wedding? Is it because he wants to change his fiancée?"
My irreconcilable differences with Lin Wanru have reached the point of being irreconcilable in every aspect.
We are destined to fight to the death.
There are still ten months, eight months, seven months until the Chinese New Year...
My coming-of-age ceremony was on the fifteenth day after the New Year.
I started to become restless and irritable.
When Lin Wanru outwardly complied while Yuechan, who taught me to play the zither, mocked me for my self-degradation, I recklessly learned how to seduce men.
I think that if I can't escape, then I must use every trick in the book to make Xiao Cong fall into a trap of tenderness.
But he doesn't seem like someone who would be swayed by emotions at all.
He has never lost control of his emotions.
That's why he's even more terrifying.
Because I can feel favoritism from him, but I can't find a real sense of security.
I was thinking about the incident last year when my sister's husband, with whom I had a very good relationship, took a concubine.
The parents didn't take it seriously.
The eldest sister silently accepted this.
I remember them laughing and not taking it seriously.
I silently covered my face with a handkerchief.
See, that's just how times are.
Maybe we should just give in...
*
Granny Zhao took care of me diligently and responsibly.
It has made my skin delicate and tender.
As I've grown older, my complexion has become more vibrant than a lotus flower, just as Xiao Cong said.
I could feel Xiao Cong's suffocating desire for control more and more.
He kept his distance and no longer asked me to kiss him on the cheek when we parted.
I didn't hold his hand, and he didn't force me.
But if I stay at home overnight, he will definitely come to pick me up the next day.
How am I supposed to leave?
He'll spot me the moment I step out of the city gate.
What about opportunities? Where are the opportunities?
There was no chance.
He took me with him wherever he went.
"A-Qu, do you want to go out and play?"
He must have some important business to attend to and need to travel far away again.
"Xianbaozhai still has matters to attend to..."
“Xianbaozhai has Wu Liu.”
"A-Qu wants to stay home and keep her second sister company."
"Perfect timing, let's take your second sister out for a walk too."
"My second sister also has to take care of the shop's business and make steamed buns."
He instructed someone to pack my things and held out his hand to me, saying, "I'll take you back now to keep your second sister company."
"If you don't want to go out next time, then don't."
I thought he had relaxed his control over me, but I never expected that his next trip would be to Lin Wanru's house.
In August, he went to Pancheng, and I went home.
Having finally escaped his sight, I began paving the way for my escape at any moment.
Just then, news came from the village that they wanted to build an ancestral hall and asked my father to contribute money.
We then went back to Lijia Village.
A family that was once as insignificant as ants now returns home in a luxurious carriage, dressed in fine clothes.
Regardless of what the villagers thought, Mom was very happy.
"Oh my, isn't this your sister-in-law? You traded your daughter for your daughter-in-law?"
"That's truly a case of keeping the good stuff within the family; both the husband's and wife's families benefit from it."
"I can't, my eldest daughter went with her husband to his post."
"Oh? You mean my son-in-law? My son-in-law is a county magistrate."
My aunt looked constipated.
My mother, wearing a veil, stretched out her hand adorned with a gold bracelet and a gold ring, covered her veiled mouth, and roared with laughter.
Father insisted on giving fifty taels to the village, which angered Mother so much that she cursed him for forgetting the pain once the wound had healed.
Grandpa and Grandma extorted another sum from Dad for repairs to his old arms and legs.
I don't care about any of it.
My target is my older cousin's family.
In order to lure the thief into the trap, I have no choice but to put on a show of kindness and warmth.
Money is my key to getting in.
Before leaving, the clan chief warmly saw my father off at the village entrance.
The women of the clan surrounded our carriage, curiously peering at me and enthusiastically accepting my mother's boasting.
I leaned against the carriage wall and laughed, my gaze fixed on the shimmering river, never forgetting the vow I made the night I left the village by boat.
*
Coincidentally, on our way back, we ran into Xiao Cong, who was returning from Pancheng.
We set off together for Yicheng.
On the way, I naturally rode in the same car as him.
Xianbaozhai has quietly begun removing its entry requirements and withdrawing from the real-name registration system.
Xiao Cong needs absolute strength to control the situation after the operation is completed.
Xiao Cong asked me, "If it were Aqu, what would be the next step?"
I replied to him, "Strong military."
"We need the ability to use force to stop the chaos."
Then he told me, "A new iron mine has been discovered in Pancheng, but the news has not yet reached the capital."
Salt and iron were state-owned enterprises, and the Prince of Yan's residence did not have any official right to directly mine iron ore.
This is one of the methods the central government uses to curb local military power.
He hasn't physically offended me for a long time.
This time, as soon as he finished speaking, he raised his hand and touched my cheek with his fingertips.
Fate had ordained him to cooperate with the Lin family.
Arranged marriage is the best solution.
He asked me, "Aqu, what month do you think would be best to hold the marriage alliance with the Lin family next year?"
I turned my face away and lowered my eyelids: "Can't we use someone else?"
"Her prime was delayed by the engagement, and I cannot break my promise."
“Your Highness can never grant Aqu’s request.”
"Except for this."
"Stop having anyone following Aqu around like glue. Aqu promises she won't offend Miss Lin again! Aqu hates being constantly monitored."
“It’s for protection,” he corrected, “and has nothing to do with the Lin family.”
"Whether it's related or not, Your Highness knows perfectly well!" I turned to the side, giving him an unreasonable side profile.
I seized every opportunity that would allow him to untie me.
I don't have much time left.
After marrying a wife, he will definitely take a concubine.
"There always has to be someone to protect you," he said.
"That person has to listen to me!"
He finally agreed, handed me a few sheets of paper, and asked which hairpin I wanted to wear for my coming-of-age ceremony.
After looking at them, I chose one with a rather complicated design.
"This one," I started a conversation, "must be made by Your Highness yourself."
He thought for a moment: "I'm afraid there won't be enough time."
"If it wasn't made by Your Highness personally, then what's the difference between which one?"
He picked up the drawing, analyzed it carefully, and then said, "It's not difficult. I'll make it when I have time."
I turned around and tugged at his sleeve: "Your Highness, you are only allowed to make these for Aqu from now on."
His gaze swept over my fingers, and he hummed in agreement.
I took the opportunity to make up with him.
Maintain my public image.
*
The snow season came earlier than usual this year.
Fate is often beyond our control.
I was ruthlessly pushed into the threshold of fifteen.
I only had Xiao Zuo following and protecting me from a distance. Granny Zhao still didn't please me and stayed by my side, serving me obediently.
I am still free to leave the residence.
But I am not allowed to stay out all night.
I set the time for my departure to be before his wedding.
At that time, the Prince of Yan's mansion was crowded with people and eyes, especially when the procession of the Lin family from Pancheng sent their dowry before the wedding, it must have been even more chaotic.
That was my best chance.
I'm determined to seize the opportunity and give it my all.
But I never expected that he had been planning this all along, waiting for me to come of age.
*
Enjoying the moon from a high platform is incredibly romantic.
Behind me, Kongming lanterns bloomed in the night.
The festivities of the Lantern Festival are widespread and have spread far and wide.
With my back pressed against the railing, I had nowhere to escape. I watched in shock and panic as he pressed his lips against mine.
"Your Highness!" My voice trembled.
Because I saw in his eyes a man's desire for a woman.
This is completely different from his usual self.
He is no longer unapproachable, no longer self-important and polite; he willingly descends to the mortal world to savor the sweetness on my lips.
I wore a gold hairpin with magpie-shaped tassels, which he had made himself, in my hair.
The tiny gems adorning the tassels swayed and trembled as the owner tried to escape a kiss.
He pulled away from my lips and drew me closer.
His unusual breathing rate left me bewildered.
He lowered his head again, this time not to explore, but to support my slender waist and hold the back of my head.
He turned twenty that year.
On this day, I came of age.
They're all adults now.
His palm lingered on my waist, and I could feel the heat of his palm even through my clothes.
He touched my belt with his index finger and tugged at it lightly.
His intentions were direct and forceful. After leaving my lips, he looked down at me, a faint blush spreading across his handsome, jade-like face.
He called me: "My dear~" (in a flat tone)
My plan was utterly fragile in the face of his premeditated scheme.
I really want to say I don't want to.
I do not wish to be his concubine.
But I dare not.
My parents, my sister, and Wu Xubai, who helped me escape the mire, were all in his grasp.
I don't know whether he's lustful or sentimental.
I dare not openly break off relations.
But what reason can I use to reject him?
He picked me up, placed me on the couch, and pressed himself against me; I couldn't hold back my tears.
He was gentle and careful, softly coaxing me, "Don't be afraid, sweetie, don't be afraid."
I'm just one chance away, one last chance.
I pushed him gently, unwilling to give up.
His fingers slipped between mine, gentle yet forceful.
I recalled the moment I fell into the lake on New Year's Eve, the feeling of being surrounded by the icy water.
Suffocation, darkness, cold.
I can almost see my entire life, suppressed by Lin Wanru's status, wasting away in the inner quarters, revolving around him.
I might even use all my cunning to become utterly repulsive.
I couldn't push him away, so I cried.
He stopped what he was doing, kissed my chin, his large hands gripping my waist, his voice soft and pleading:
"Sweetie, give it to me!"
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