Chapter 3 My Relationship with Xiao Cong
"Behave yourself" means that I should accept the identity he gave me and behave myself.
"Begging me" is the superior looking down at me, waiting for me to kneel down and look up to him.
The first step in escaping is to numb him with the controlling desire ingrained in his very being.
What would happen if an eleven-year-old child, after suffering the consequences of being stubborn and unruly, reached out to the person who had always indulged her and was waiting for her, wanting a hug?
*
After enduring torment both mentally and physically, I stubbornly refused to succumb to the instructor's thin bamboo cane.
Instead, he collapsed from a high fever while performing the kneeling ritual of offering tea to the matriarch, a ritual he had performed countless times.
In my daze, I heard the aggrieved trembling voice of the teaching nanny.
"The third daughter is too stubborn. Even if she is in pain and tears are streaming down her face, she still refuses to take the medicine."
The spoon pried open the lips and teeth, and the bitter medicine spread between the taste buds.
The headmistress advised, "This old servant dares to say that if Your Highness truly wishes to temper the Third Miss's temperament, you must be ruthless."
I brushed the spoon that was brought to my lips again, propped myself up, and lifted my dizzy head.
"That's just how I am, I can't iron it out!"
"If you have any methods, then use them!"
I saw that Xiao Cong's moon-colored brocade robe was stained with a few specks of brown medicinal juice.
His long eyelashes drooped, his gaze falling on the spoon I had knocked to the ground.
Granny Zhao knelt down and pleaded for me: "Your Highness, the Third Miss is still young!"
The servants in the room dared not breathe.
I looked at him, unable to suppress the fear hidden deep within my stubbornness.
When conflicts escalate to a certain extent, making changes in line with the trend will become a matter of course.
He bent down, picked up the spoon, and put it aside.
The sixteen-year-old boy became increasingly reserved, making him difficult to understand.
I quietly pulled my foot back.
He had someone bring me a clean spoon, scooped up a spoonful of medicine, and brought it to my lips.
I turned my head away from drinking, but I would still glance at him cautiously out of the corner of my eye.
He just held his hand up like that, waiting for me.
After a brief pause, I reluctantly leaned in and, with a pained expression, drank the medicine he fed me.
One spoonful at a time.
He quietly fed me the medicine.
I went from having a long face at first to having tears in my eyes later.
When the medicine bowl was empty, I finally couldn't help but raise my sleeve, silently wipe away my tears, and lower my eyelashes without saying a word.
He put the empty medicine bowl aside and began to speak:
Tell me what's wrong with you.
I looked up at him angrily, tears streaming down my face as I protested, "The medicine is too bitter!"
"Why drink it spoonful by spoonful?"
My signals of yielding were subtly revealed in the details.
He was surprised that I cried, simply because the medicine tasted bitter.
He seemed to be probing me, propping his arm up, pressing his fist against his head, and leaning halfway on the couch to look at me.
It was incredibly oppressive.
This made me dare not let my guard down in the slightest.
He said, "You said you wanted to drink it all in one gulp, and I'm not saying you can't."
"Who knows if His Highness is deliberately trying to make things difficult for Aqu!"
My eyes were brimming with tears of grievance, yet I stubbornly refused to let them fall.
She raised her fierce eyes and stared straight ahead, but dared not meet his gaze.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his long eyelashes droop, concealing a hint of a smile.
"What did you do that made me deliberately make things difficult for you?"
My lips curled into a V-shape.
He raised his eyelashes, then resumed his enigmatic demeanor, his emotions remaining hidden.
I stubbornly remained silent.
After a long pause, he finally spoke: "Take good care of yourself."
He got up to leave.
I knelt up from the couch and reached out to grab his sleeve.
When a child is at their wit's end and has run out of options, they will ask an adult for a hug.
Those in positions of power only accept the obedience and subservience of others.
As he turned around, I reached out my hands to him, hoping to reach out and touch him.
I looked up at him, crying, and said, "Ah Qu, be good, okay?"
A public act of resistance that persists until the snow season, a resistance that can be measured in years.
In this early autumn, I outwardly yielded and retreated to the hidden underground.
He did not move.
I crawled on my knees on the couch, getting closer to him.
"Your Highness, Aqu wants to go home. Aqu misses her mother and sister."
"Please, let Aqu go home."
"Aqu will definitely behave from now on and will never dare to misbehave again."
"A-Qu wants to go home, waaaaah..."
My submission to him was also mixed with the longing of a young girl, both physically and mentally aggrieved, for her family's care when she was sick.
Even the most stubborn temper is vulnerable when it is weak.
He turned completely to face me: "You really know how to behave now?"
I nodded, sobbing.
He raised his hand, his fingers moving closer to my face.
Seeing that I no longer rejected his excessive physical contact as before, he gently pinched my cheek with satisfaction.
"Make up for the purse you owe me for Qixi Festival."
I sobbed and shook my head.
He withdrew his hand from my cheek.
I quickly stepped forward, grabbed his collar, and explained, "Aqu doesn't know how to do needlework."
"We must learn."
I gestured my refusal: "Aqu doesn't like needlework, there are embroiderers..."
"But I want a purse that Aqu embroidered herself."
A stubborn child who takes a step back is destined to keep taking steps back.
I tried again to argue for the outcome I wanted: "You'll prick your hand."
His silent figure suddenly became clear in my blurred vision.
Tears fell.
I was utterly defeated: "Aquxue!"
"A-Qu will definitely study hard, sob sob sob..."
"Your Highness, please let Aqu go home."
*
He didn't hug me, but he personally took me home.
When the carriage stopped, I didn't want to stay a moment longer, so I impulsively lifted my buttocks and reached out to lift the curtain and get out.
He did indeed call me "Aqu".
I returned to my seat and looked up at him, my long, still-damp eyelashes fluttering.
He looked at me: "Just like that, you're leaving?"
I lowered my long eyelashes, pouted as I looked at him, and my hands fidgeted with the hem of my skirt, as if I was unconvinced.
He held the book in his hand, lowered his eyes, and focused his gaze on the book.
I know he's waiting for me to show him the rules I know how to use.
I moved.
It wasn't the proper farewell he expected.
Instead, she leaned over, knocking the book out of his hands, and planted a kiss on his cheek.
I want to leave myself a chance to survive if my escape fails.
Playing to the heartstrings of those in power suits my current position.
I bet the one who gets emotional first loses.
After I kissed him, I returned to my seat, still occasionally sobbing uncontrollably from crying so hard.
I asked him cautiously, "Is it okay now?"
He gave a low hum, his long eyelashes drooping, as he straightened the crooked book in his hand.
I turned around and got out of the car.
The carriage curtain swayed.
It blocked the boy's gaze as he lifted his eyelashes to follow me.
I walked home, leaving my back to Xiaoyou who was driving.
I walked faster and faster until I started running.
I don't know if it was the medicine that worked or if I was just tired from running.
When I got home, I was covered in sweat.
Look, I've come out of the Prince of Yan's residence!
How far are we from leaving Yan?
*
The way Xiao Cong and I interact has changed.
He was standing while I was sitting. He would bend down, hold my hand, and correct my every stroke of the pen, while keeping his body at a distance from me.
It transgresses the rules, yet it seems to carry a pure intention of guidance, making it ambiguous.
After returning to the Prince of Yan's residence, he still held my hand as I wrote, but the distance between our bodies was getting infinitely closer.
Once, twice.
Gradually, he naturally pulled me onto his lap and watched me write.
He completely tore away the thin veil of separation between men and women between us.
He was affectionate, but not vulgar.
His affection manifests in pinching my cheeks, holding my hand, holding me on his lap or in his arms, washing my face and wiping my hands, etc.
He never did what he did on that snowy day again.
It seemed as if she was genuinely afraid of being labeled a child lover.
I am changing too.
My stubbornness was gradually punctured and deflated by the embroidery needle.
From the moment I couldn't refuse to learn needlework, it was destined that I would also be unable to refuse the clothes and jewelry he chose for me...
At first, I would show a wronged and reluctant expression.
By the time he was twelve, he had become accustomed to everything he arranged.
I seem to have forgotten my original intention.
He never held it against me for the words that had offended him.
When he comes back, I will greet him with a smile and a sweet complaint.
"Your Highness, I won't wait for you next time. I've been waiting so long that the flowers have all withered."
He would take my hand and lead me back to the main house.
I would sit leisurely on the tatami mat, making little movements, chattering to him about what I had done that day, while watching him wash up and change clothes with the help of the maids.
Then we went to the dining room together for dinner.
He would serve me food, a balanced mix of meat and vegetables, so that I could eat a little of everything.
I will save the foods I don't like for last.
They tried to hide it and throw it away.
But in the end, under his gaze, I reluctantly took small bites, eating slowly and deliberately.
If I eat slowly, he will take me where he can see me, and while he goes about his business, he will watch me eat.
If it gets cold, heat it up; if it gets hot, eat it; you're not allowed to sleep until you finish eating.
I'll get angry and ignore him after I finish eating.
If we had a disagreement the night before last, I would get up early the next day to see him off in the yard.
She complained that he was heartless.
Ever since I kissed him on the cheek, he always stares at my lips whenever we part.
I would lean in, stand on tiptoe, and softly press a lip print onto his face.
Intimate but not excessive.
He wanted me to back down, so I gradually transitioned to showing him my obedient side.
*
He returned the shares of Xianbaozhai to me intact.
He doesn't restrict my freedom.
He's busy, and so am I.
He was busy with his official duties.
I was busy making use of him, frantically searching for useful books in the library of the Prince of Yan's mansion.
Learn to conceal one's face, learn embroidery.
I also have to take care of my sisters at home.
Let them continue to improve.
My interactions with Wu Xubai became less and less frequent.
Using the formula I found in the library, I developed the Immortal Dew Cream and placed it in Xiao Cong's palm.
"Your Highness, how about we use this as a bonus item in this season's new collection to test the market reaction?"
I communicated directly with Xiao Cong about matters related to Xianbaozhai.
This further reduced direct contact with Wu Xubai.
The wheel of time turns at a constant speed, and I always think about how to do more things in the same amount of time.
In this way, she could leave Xiao Cong's gentle swamp before she came of age.
I'm secretly fighting against fate, and I'm incredibly busy.
Others are secretly observing me and Xiao Cong, and their jealousy is becoming increasingly repulsive.
*
Lin Wanru's first move was to use her grandfather and grandmother to bring her second sister a lingering nightmare.
I didn't find out that.
She took the initiative to come to me and answer my questions.
"The Lin family were military men and were highly respected among military officers."
"There's always someone willing to help me with small favors."
“Sister Aqu, one should know one’s own limitations.”
"Don't forget your own limitations."
"If she takes advantage of her proximity to the water and tries to seduce His Highness..."
"The disaster will extend to your family... Isn't it too late to regret it?"
She smiled, poised and graceful.
The pedophile she mentioned who helped her in a small way violated military regulations and has been executed.
The fourteen-year-old girl, with her haughty demeanor and downcast gaze, looked just like Ulanara.
Her warning was tinged with disregard for human life.
Every word she spoke told me that she could pull me into a game where human lives were the stakes at any time.
In an instant, goosebumps rose all over my body.
I am terrified that I might be drawn into this endless struggle.
My clothes were stained with human blood, and I felt suffocated.
I am even more furious that Lin Wanru actually harmed my family.
I laughed.
Because I realized I didn't know what to say to Lin Wanru.
Just as a frog cannot understand the song of a nightingale, there is a species difference between me and Lin Wanru.
So, instead of talking to Lin Wanru, I raised my hand to push her while hooking her heel with my foot.
Lin Wanru fell backward in a disheveled state.
The servants were all standing far away, and I took advantage of the moment before they came forward, lifted my skirt, and frantically stomped on Lin Wanru's face.
Lin Wanru's scream, and the panicked figures of the servants rushing towards me, added a touch of life to my twelve-year-old self.
I rebelled.
*
"No one can touch my family!"
"Your Highness cannot, and Lin Wanru certainly cannot!"
"Unless I, Li Qu, am dead, I will fight back with all my might against anyone who dares to harm them!"
I knelt straight on the carpet, stubbornly and earnestly watching Xiao Cong drinking tea on the couch.
"Your Highness will not make decisions for me without evidence."
"It would be best to teach her a lesson for messing with me right here and now!"
Xiao Cong put down his cup and looked straight at me: "She is the future Crown Prince's consort."
"So, Your Highness prefers her, is that right?"
My confusion of concepts did not shake Xiao Cong's thinking.
"Aqu, you've gone too far."
"How did I offend them?" I asked, my eyes welling up with tears of grievance.
"She hasn't married His Highness yet."
He looked at me and asked, "Aqu, do you know who you are?"
"Hmph." I turned my head away, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Is it a matter of denying it, or an unwillingness to say it?"
Either answer is wrong.
If you don't admit it... then what about your previous concessions?
To refuse to talk about it is to admit it.
Since it is acknowledged that a concubine, who is the master's kept woman and will serve others in the future, would not dare to offend the master's fiancée.
I crawled to his side, cautiously raised my hand, and fearfully reached out to tug at his sleeve.
My tears welled up in my eyes.
"Your Highness~"
He looked down at me from his high position.
"Even if she isn't my fiancée, she's still a guest of the Prince of Yan's residence."
"No matter what your identity is, you should not offend her."
He paused for a moment: "A-Qu, can you be a little more obedient?"
I opened my eyes wide, slowly loosened my grip on his sleeve, and tears streamed down my face without warning.
"So, even after arriving at the Prince of Yan's residence, Your Highness cannot fully protect Aqu, is that right?"
My question made him frown.
He rarely showed his emotions outwardly.
"Is Your Highness unwilling, or unable?"
My question was just as sharp as his.
If he is unwilling, why should I give him my true feelings?
If I can't... then why should I look up to him?
I gave him a way out.
"She hurt Second Sister first. Even if A-Qu can't produce any evidence now, Your Highness, could you investigate for A-Qu?"
The best way to deal with Lin Wanru is not to stomp on her face.
Instead, he used Xiao Cong, whom she cared about, to deal with her.
"Regardless of whether Your Highness finds out that it was Miss Lin who did it, Aqu will go to Miss Lin tomorrow to apologize and let her punish me as she sees fit."
"But if this was truly done by Miss Lin, Your Highness..."
"If you cannot protect Aqu... then please spare Aqu's life."
To retreat in order to advance.
Xiao Cong really did investigate this matter thoroughly.
The next day, Lin Wanru 'generously' did not hold my rudeness against me, saying that I was still young and so on, thus earning me a reputation for being virtuous, generous and polite.
I don't know what the outcome will be.
Xiao Cong simply took me with him.
When I met Lin Wanru again, she affectionately called me "that little bitch who sows discord."
I saw the words 'cannot tolerate' written in her eyes.
I am not afraid of her.
Human hearts are always biased, and Xiao Cong is clearly more biased towards me.
But I'm becoming more and more afraid of Xiao Cong.
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