Chapter 57: Only for this life
"Jinjin." Nan Xuqiu turned to her and said, "Wait a minute, can you take me out to see your village? To be honest, this is my first time in the countryside."
"Okay." Chi Jinjin agreed.
After dinner, Chi Jinjin and Nan Xuqiu went out. The road that had been swept was once again covered with snow overnight. The long street kissed thousands of piles of snow. The wind was filled with the smell of winter. The branches and leaves were white, all things were hidden, the snow was floating in the clouds, and the forest was clear and bright.
Behind Chi Jinjin and Nan Xuqiu was a long string of footprints, one large and one small, extending forward.
"Sure enough, the four seasons can only be fully displayed in the village." Nan Xuqiu sighed as he looked at the scenery in front of him.
Seeing that he seemed to like it very much, Chi Jinjin thought for a moment and suddenly said, "Senior, there is a place that is more beautiful, but it is a bit far and very tiring. Do you want to go?"
"If you are willing to take me there, I would be happy to do so." Nan Xuqiu said.
"Of course I do."
"Come with me."
She walked in front of him.
Nan Xuqiu followed her slowly, stepping on the footprints she left.
Chi Jinjin took him to a mountain. When they reached the top, Chi Jinjin put her hands on her hips and gasped for breath, but Nan Xuqiu remained calm.
"Senior, aren't you tired?" Chi Jinjin was surprised that he didn't even take a breath.
Nan Xuqiu said with a smile, "In my physical training at school, mountain climbing is the easiest."
Chi Jinjin remembered that he was a student at the police academy.
Why.
Nan Xuqiu's face always makes people forget that he is a police academy student.
"Senior, turn back." Chi Jinjin said
Nan Xuqiu turned around, and Chi Jinjin's entire village suddenly came into his sight.
Like a person covered with a thick white quilt.
At this moment, Nan Xuqiu just felt that this was probably what life was like.
"What do you think, senior? Doesn't it look better here?" Chi Jinjin asked curiously.
Nan Xuqiu nodded and asked her, "Do you come here often?"
"Yes, this place has witnessed my depression, irritability, and sadness. Every time I feel anxious, I will come here to take a look. Seeing this beautiful land, my heart will be relieved." Chi Jinjin turned around and opened his arms to feel the embrace from the east wind.
"So, this is your secret base?" Nan Xuqiu asked happily, "Am I the first one to enter your secret base?"
"No." Chi Jinjin replied honestly.
"Oh?" Nan Xuqiu asked, "Who else?"
Chi Jinjin said, "There are also Tang poems."
"So am I the only person of the opposite sex?"
Chi Jinjin didn’t understand why he was so persistent. Was he the first one?
She replied, "Yes, as for the opposite sex, you are indeed the first."
"Then have you ever... taken Gao Yi with you?"
"Gao Yi? No."
Nan Xuqiu was very happy.
"Why do you want to bring me here?" Nan Xuqiu asked again.
Chi Jinjin replied, "Because you are my friend, you have come to the village with so much trouble, wanting to see the local customs and people, so I want to show you the most beautiful side of the village."
"Actually, I've already seen the most beautiful side of this place, and it's not here." Nan Xu Qiuyan.
Chi Jinjin was puzzled and said, "Impossible, this is definitely the most beautiful place. Can you tell me where else in our village is more beautiful?"
"You." Nan Xuqiu looked at her and replied, "You are a rare sight here that only comes once in a century. I'm honored to have met you."
Chi Jinjin was unable to respond for a moment, and her heart suddenly trembled, as if she was suddenly hit by something.
At this time, snowflakes fell from the sky and flew all over the sky.
Nan Xuqiu and Chi Jinjin looked up at the same time.
Snowflakes fell on their faces, cool and icy.
"It's snowing." Nan Xuqiu said.
"Yes, that's right." Chi Jinjin nodded and said, "Well, let's go down."
She turned around and tried to slip away in panic.
But Nan Xuqiu grabbed her wrist with one hand.
Chi Jinjin turned around and looked at him in confusion.
Nan Xuqiu asked, "Do you still remember the poem I said when we watched the snow for the second time?"
If he were to get caught in the snow together in the morning.
This life can be considered a life together...
The scene of that day emerged in Chi Jinjin's mind.
"Chi Jinjin." Nan Xuqiu moved his hand down from her wrist, took her hand, and said affectionately, "We have been drenched in snow three times together. Does that mean we will grow old together in three lifetimes?"
It's just a saying.
Don't take it seriously.
Chi Jinjin was about to speak, but Nan Xuqiu spoke first.
He said, "I am not greedy. I do not seek the three lives, but only this life."
The cold wind passed by my ears, carrying his words.
He said, "Chi Jinjin, let's grow old together, hand in hand."
Suddenly, Chi Jinjin felt a bunch of fireworks exploding beside her ears, causing her to have tinnitus and her heart to beat with fear.
She came back to her senses and hesitantly said, "Senior, growing old together requires two people who love each other, not just getting wet in the snow together."
"Do you think I don't understand this principle? Or that I didn't express it clearly enough? Or..." Nan Xuqiu paused, then said, "Or that you can't feel my love for you?"
"If, like this, can you feel it?"
As soon as he finished speaking, he took a step forward, bent down and kissed Chi Jinjin's lips from bottom to top.
Chi Jinjin's pupils dilated instantly and her eyes became round and big.
Nan Xuqiu slowly closed his eyes, feeling the softness and warmth of her lips.
The snow was still falling, landing on his soft hair. The surroundings were so quiet that Chi Jinjin's heartbeat was unusually obvious.
She was awakened by the sound of her own heartbeat, and quickly shook off his hand and took a big step back.
Nan Xuqiu seemed so intoxicated that even when she moved away, he was still in the gesture of kissing her.
Unable to feel her warmth, he slowly opened his eyes, stood up straight, and looked at her.
"Senior, I, I think it's better for us to be friends." Chi Jinjin answered his question tactfully.
Nan Xuqiu shook his head and said, "We've kissed so many times, how can we still be friends like this? Have all your friends ever kissed you like this?"
"Senior, you, don't talk nonsense. When have I kissed you many times..." At the end of the conversation, Chi Jinjin's face was as red as if she was drunk.
"Last time I was drunk and you fell asleep in my car, and I kissed you. Secondly, last night, I also kissed you." Nan Xuqiu listed them to her one by one.
Only then did Chi Jinjin realize that he remembered everything when he was drunk that time.
But why did he say that he would forget everything when he was drunk?
Chi Jinjin suddenly remembered Tang Shi’s original doubt about which bar would throw its VIP customers onto the street.
Could it be that it was just a trap?
He actually set a trap for her?
Chi Jinjin didn't dare to make a firm guess, but the more she thought about it, the more suspicious the matter seemed, and the more she felt that Tang Shi's words made sense.
"Well, so what if that's the case? It was you who kissed me, not me... In short, we can't be together. I can't be with you." Chi Jinjin lowered her eyes, looked at her toes, and said to Nan Xuqiu.
"Why can't you be with me? Is it because..." Nan Xuqiu didn't dare to say it. After hesitating for a moment, he asked solemnly, "Because you don't like me anymore?"
"Yes." Chi Jinjin replied.
One was that it was like a huge rock falling on Nan Xuqiu's heart, hitting him hard.
Nan Xuqiu fell silent.
Chi Jinjin continued, "Besides, I already have someone I want to date, but that person is not you, senior."
"Who is it?" Nan Xuqiu asked.
Chi Jinjin didn't hide it and said directly, "Gao Yi."
In fact, he already had a 90% answer in his heart, but he still held on to a 10% expectation that it was not this person, but Chi Jinjin gave him another heavy blow.
"Why... is it him?" Nan Xuqiu asked unwillingly.
"Why can't it be him? Besides, this is my personal matter, senior, please don't ask about it..."
What this means is that he has no right to ask, no matter whether it is Gao Yi or not.
To her, he was just a friend, an outsider.
"Can't you like me again?" Nan Xuqiu whispered.
Without a second thought or hesitation, Chi Jinjin shook her head and said decisively, "I will never like you again."
"Do you... hate me and are fed up with me so much?" Nan Xuqiu's voice trembled.
Chi Jinjin shook her head without hesitation and said, "Senior, I have never hated you or disliked you. I always feel that I was lucky to meet you in high school. You have helped me in the past, and I will always remember it in my heart. I am very happy to be your friend, but we can only be friends..."
"Chi Jinjin, I told you before that I returned to China to find a lost treasure. That treasure is you. I came back from abroad all for you. I returned to China to find you."
Nan Xuqiu took a step forward, while Chi Jinjin took a step back.
"Senior." Chi Jinjin said firmly, "A lot of things have changed, like how I liked you before. I admit that I really liked you, really liked you, really liked you, but now I really don't like you anymore."
Nan Xuqiu said uncomfortably, "Can't you just get back the love you once had?"
Chi Jinjin choked up and said, "Five years, it's really too long..."
It really hurts.
He will never know what I have done in the past five years to forget and fade away my love for him.
That year, he resolutely left the country and resolutely blocked her, severing her last thoughts about him without a trace of mercy. He had no idea how much pain she had gone through that year.
She was sad about his rejection, but at the same time she missed him. The longing was like a flood, swallowing her inch by inch and making her feel like her heart was being cut by a knife.
During the first year after he left, she hid in deserted corners and cried secretly countless times, crying until she had a headache, cried until she felt nauseous, and cried until she couldn't breathe.
That year was a nightmare year. In that year, she was tortured by longing, and was tortured by longing bit by bit. Her heart was full of wounds.
She was like a possessed person. Even if it was just a back figure that looked somewhat similar to his, she would stare at it for a long time. Once, she was so absorbed in it that she was almost hit by a car.
That year, she was in a daze. When he left, it seemed as if he had taken her soul away as well. She was left with only a body walking around the campus.
But Nan Xuqiu was more cruel than she had imagined. Not only did he do those things, he also didn't let Song Ci tell her any news about him, as if he had never appeared in her world.
There was a large blank in her memory.
No one knew how much pain she endured as she slowly healed the wounds in her heart with the needle of time.
She was really scared of the pain.
"Senior, please leave quickly. This place is not suitable for you." Chi Jinjin said with a hint of meaning, pointing to the high place and her home.
She turned around and walked down the mountain on her own, without stopping or looking back.
It turned out that five years ago, when he abandoned the girl that winter, he was also left there.
Chi Jinjin, who liked him, and Nan Xuqiu, who was liked by Chi Jinjin, were both lost in that winter.
Nan Xuqiu watched her back gradually recede, his eyes gradually reddening, and a teardrop fell from his eye sockets and landed on the snow...
Seeing Chi Jinjin coming back alone, Zhang Xianmei couldn't help but ask curiously, "Why did you come back alone? Where's Xiaonan?"
"He, he should leave." Chi Jinjin said.
"Why did you leave?"
Chi Jinjin smiled bitterly and said, "We have to leave anyway. He and we are not from the same world..."
"What do you mean by not being in the same world? By the way, what do Xiaonan's parents do?" Zhang Xianmei asked curiously.
Chi Jinjin replied, "He's an official. His grandfather was a lieutenant general."
Chi Changgui, who was drinking tea at the side, was choked.
Zhang Xianmei was also stunned. Although she vaguely felt that the child's family should be quite wealthy, she didn't expect them to be so wealthy. Not only was he a second-generation rich, but he was also a third-generation official.
But the more this happened, the more Zhang Xianmei liked Nan Xuqiu. Although he was born into such a noble family, he was not arrogant at all. He was just like an ordinary child. He was not picky and would eat whatever was given to him.
We don't look down on or despise families like them.
"What a pity! I was thinking of letting this child take some of our local specialties away." Zhang Xianmei sighed.
Chi Jinjin returned to her room.
Recalling the look in Nan Xuqiu's eyes just now, it seemed as if he was very sad.
Chi Jinjin couldn't help but wonder if what she had just said to him was too harsh.
But she was so upset at the time that she didn't know how to speak.
Thinking about it now, Chi Jinjin felt a little regretful and felt a little sorry for Nan Xuqiu. After all, he was very nice to her. He came here from afar, bought her so many gifts, and had always helped her before.
Even if you refuse someone, you should say it tactfully.
Chi Jinjin fell backwards and covered her face with regret.
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