She stared at me, as if she hadn't understood what I said. She just stared at me like that until a layer of mist slowly rose up and covered her dark eyes.
She finally spoke, her voice trembling with tears: "Don't touch me."
I stopped what I was doing: "Besides me, who else could touch you?" Before she could answer, I gazed at Feng Qing intently and answered for her, "Huo Yuangang?"
Feng Qing was stunned for a moment, staring at me blankly.
I thought to myself, when did I become so pathetic?
She concealed the fleeting sorrow in her eyes, looked up at me, and said, "Yes."
A sudden surge of anger welled up within me, whether from the fact that I had seen through her thoughts, or from the unmistakable "yes" she had given me. Her subsequent actions required no further explanation or rational analysis. That night, she slept beside me. I shielded my eyes from the blinding moonlight streaming through the window, and after much thought, I realized that perhaps this was all there was to it all.
After that came the routine bestowal of titles and honors, and a banquet was held in the Delong Hall to celebrate the meritorious officials. I took Feng Qing with me, and she was seated closest to my left. After we sat down, I smiled and extended my hand to her.
She clearly saw it, but coldly turned her face away.
I simply smiled, glancing around. The eunuchs shoved her towards me, and I casually put my arm around her back, supporting her arm. Startled, she quickly began to struggle, but as one can imagine, how could a mere girl possibly overcome the brute force of a foreign race? It was all in vain. I smiled slightly, leaned down, and whispered in her ear, "I'm an impatient person, but not with you."
She glared at me childishly, then turned her gaze away resentfully.
I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.
But when Huo Yuangang finally appeared, he found that he could no longer smile no matter what.
He walked slowly into the hall, handsome and dashing. Among the ministers, he was not necessarily the most outstanding, but his years of experience fighting on the battlefield added a touch of masculinity to his refined temperament, like chestnut sunlight.
I could clearly feel the little girl sitting next to me trembling slightly from the moment he appeared, her gaze following every trace he left behind.
I picked up my glass and slowly drank the amber-colored liquid. I felt her hand, which was holding mine, slowly grow cold.
Halfway through the banquet, Huo Yuangang left his seat alone. Since the drinking was in full swing, no one paid any attention. Afterwards, I casually made up an excuse to leave, exited the hall, and took a leisurely stroll along a small path.
The moon was beautiful that night, but also thin. I hid myself under the shade of a large sycamore tree, with a silvery-gray lotus pond beside me. I thought it must be very cold, just like when Feng Qing on the other side of the lake heard Huo Yuangang's distant greeting. Was she as cold as I was then?
Feng Qing's voice trembled with sobs, like a wounded animal whimpering: "Brother Huo—"
Huo Yuangang took a few steps back, the sound of falling paulownia leaves rustling under his feet. His expression was respectful yet distant: "Madam Feng." Feng Qing had no official title in the harem, but this address of "Madam Feng" was the safest and most appropriate greeting.
Huo Yuangang, in the end, valued the honor and disgrace behind him more than she did.
Feng Qing lowered her head, crying like a heartbroken child: "Brother Huo, have you forgotten? Ten years ago, by the lotus pond in Qi Palace..."
Huo Yuangang looked up and interrupted her halfway through her sentence: "Madam must have misremembered." He paused slightly, then continued, "Whether it was ten years ago or twenty years ago, I was in Daying and never went to Qi."
Feng Qing paused, wanting to say something, but some courtiers had already come over following the sound.
I brushed the thin layer of dust that had unintentionally settled on my sleeves, and walked slowly back along the moonlit path with my hands behind my back. I passed through the purple bamboo forest swaying in the wind, and walked along the bluestone path covered with the fragrance of flowers and moss. As the courtiers knelt and prostrated themselves all the way, I thought about it. In fact, Huo Yuangang was not lying. I remembered the events of ten years ago very clearly. At that time, the Qi Kingdom was at its peak. When my father sent me to the Qi Kingdom as a hostage, Huo Yuangang did not go with me.
The wind rises little by little, stirring my billowing sleeves and lifting the few unspeakable sorrows that furrow my brow.
I think it's truly hopeless, so hopeless that there's absolutely no chance.
Four,
When my father was still alive, he taught me not to trust anyone, including myself. Because I myself would betray myself, but power never would. As I recall these words, I am writing a reply with my vermilion brush to the memorial submitted to the cabinet, ordering the transfer of the city's garrison commander to the border to control the rebellion of the Qi people.
I casually circled one person's name: Huo Yuangang.
Even if I force myself not to believe it, I can't help but wonder how much of it is for the public good and how much is driven by selfish motives.
The day I saw Huo Yuangang out of the city was also the only time Feng Qing had ever come to see me since entering the palace. Sometimes I find it amusing to tease this little girl, but other times I discover the truths hidden behind the calm surface, truths that even I dare not face.
I knew why she had come, but I couldn't suppress the bitterness and unspeakable feelings that arose in my heart. As she watched the convoy slowly depart, I finally spoke, my cold voice like a knife, easily severing the pride she relied on for survival: "There's no need to look anymore. No matter how much you look, Huo Yuangang won't turn around and look at you."
She lowered her head, pretending not to hear.
Unable to contain the malice in my words any longer, I never imagined I'd be driven to this point by a little girl. I stepped forward, staring into her beautiful eyes: "Do you really think he would openly oppose the Great Ying Kingdom and me for your sake?"
Feng Qing paused, then looked up at me angrily: "You forced him to do this. Otherwise..."
I didn't know what followed her "otherwise," but I felt something explode in her mind the moment she uttered those three words, a torrent of anger surging into her chest. I looked at her, my smile cruel: "Too bad, he doesn't have the guts to marry you. How could he risk his future to marry a princess of a fallen kingdom?" I stared into her eyes, deliberately emphasizing the last sentence in her slowly reddening gaze, "He doesn't want you, believe it or not," I smiled coldly, "even if I handed you over to him right now, he would obediently return you intact..."
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