Chapter 31 Dear Mr. Xiao, the next moment, Xiao Zhier was...
Xiao Zhier's temper is actually not good at all, he is just particularly good at disguising himself.
When he was first sent back to live with Mr. Xiao and Ms. Ling Chunhua, he didn't utter a word for half a year and was as quiet as a porcelain doll.
Xiao Zhier spent half a year putting on a quiet, gentle, yet hurt appearance, using his infinitely tolerant bookish air to conceal the overflowing hostility in his heart.
In fact, Xiao Zhier is more stubborn and stubborn than anyone else.
Xiao Zhier let go of Xu Ze's hand, his eyes slightly curved, he took two steps forward with a smile, raised his hand and touched Xu Ze's cheek: "You haven't seen my true self, it's better to stay away from me, otherwise it will be unpleasant to see the white moonlight in your dream shattered."
The slightly cool fingertips passed across the corners of his eyes. Xu Ze looked into Xiao Zhier's eyes. Those eyes were smiling, but there was no trace of smile in them.
It was like a crack in the deep seabed, unfathomable, dark and cold.
Xiao Zhier didn't care what Xu Ze was thinking. He just felt angry in his heart. His deeply hidden self-loathing surged up uncontrollably. He knew it wasn't Xu Ze's fault, but Xiao Zhier could no longer control his emotions.
He took two steps back, and that real reaction was like a fish with slippery scales on its body, which disappeared in front of Xu Ze with a flick of its tail.
Xiao Zhier took a deep breath, and in a blink of an eye he was the bright and cheerful teacher Xiao again: "I have to perform surgery on Chen Tong in a while, Doctor Xu, it's not appropriate to talk to me now, let's talk again when there's a chance."
His words were polite, but he didn't give Xu Ze a chance to speak. He turned around and went back to the ward before he finished speaking.
Xu Ze did not chase after him. He watched Xiao Zhier's back disappear around the corner of the corridor. After a long time, he lowered his eyes and stared at his fingers in a daze.
Xu Ze had experienced that kind of touch many times during his years working in the hospital.
It was a scar, more than one scar.
Although he only touched it for a few seconds, it was enough for Xu Ze to make a judgment.
These scars were messy and crisscrossed, but they all tilted from the side close to the body toward the outside. Moreover, it was already autumn, and even if people didn't wear coats yet, most of them had changed into thicker single clothes. Xu Ze could tell by just touching them that there were definitely a lot of scars.
Regardless of Xiao Zhier's usual performance or the direction and location of the scars, Xu Ze could basically conclude that these were not left by Xiao Zhier himself.
But who could have left Xiao Zhier with so many wounds?
Xu Ze pursed his lips, hesitated for a few seconds, stared at a name in his phone's address book for a long time, but ultimately did not dial the number.
Forget it.
Xu Ze whispered to comfort himself, forget it.
Since Xiao Zhier didn't want to mention this matter, he shouldn't investigate it. Maybe one day in the future Xiao Zhier would allow Xu Ze to enter his heart and open up to him the corner that he didn't want others to know.
Until then, let's respect his choice.
In this way, Xu Ze successfully calmed himself down.
Xiao Zhier stood in front of the door. He listened to the person outside striding past the door. He was stunned for a few seconds before he smiled a smile so faint that it was almost unnoticeable.
His eyes were lowered, and his long eyelashes cast a shadow under his eyes. The shadow moved with his blinking movements. From a distance, there was a bright light flowing in his eyes.
Like crying.
This was the first time that Xiao Zhier revealed his wounds to others, suggesting that he was not as gentle and sunny as he appeared to be.
Xiao Zhier sniffed lightly.
It seems that he is still difficult to be accepted by others.
He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to put aside the fragile emotions in his mind, then turned around to check on Chen Tong's condition.
After being energetic for the whole afternoon, the stubborn boy finally took a rest and was sleeping soundly. However, Xiao Zhier inexplicably felt a slight sense of loss in his heart.
It was like no one needed him anymore.
Xiao Zhier could clearly know that his current mood was not right. He tried to relieve the depression in his heart through various methods. He even curled up in the accompanying chair with his mobile phone and finished writing the meeting report, but he was still depressed.
You know, Xiao Zhier and Lin Jingshen are usually known as the severe procrastination duo in the office. He was so anxious that he wrote a meeting report that could have been submitted after the holiday. It can be seen how uncomfortable Xiao Zhier was.
He crumpled the tissue in his hand and threw it into the trash bag, then turned and walked out.
Xiao Zhier felt that he should go out for some fresh air and be alone for a while, maybe he would feel better.
At the moment of leaving the house, Xiao Zhier paused. He stared at a can of Wangzai milk placed neatly at the door of the ward, his eyes full of inquiry.
Xiao Zhier paused for a few seconds. He looked around and didn't see anyone pouring the milk, so he squatted down and picked up the milk can.
Only then did he realize that under the round iron can was an equally round piece of paper. The piece of paper slowly fell to the ground as Xiao Zhier moved, and he reached out and grabbed it.
Xiao Zhier did not immediately look at the words on the piece of paper. He carefully closed the door of the ward, turned around and left the hospital building.
Behind the inpatient building is a small courtyard consisting of a ginkgo tree forest. There are benches under the trees for people to rest. Xiao Zhier casually brushed away the fallen leaves on the bench, leaned back in the chair and rubbed his aching forehead.
Perhaps it was because there were too many things going on these days that Xiao Zhier found it a bit difficult to cope with them, and coupled with the fact that his emotions fluctuated too drastically today, he rarely felt overwhelmed.
Xiao Zhier closed his eyes, and the warm light fell through the ginkgo leaves. Spots of golden light sprinkled on Xiao Zhier's body. A soft spot of light fell between his eyebrows, reflecting a warm golden color in his eyes.
There were birds chirping in his ears, and the leaves swayed and rustled when the wind blew. Xiao Zhier lowered his eyes and stared at the Wangzai Milk in his hand for a while, then slowly took out the piece of paper from his pocket.
The dark blue handwriting is vigorous and powerful, with a shallow arc at the end of the stroke. The signature reads "Xu Ze", and in the corner, there is a small hand-painted love heart.
Xiao Zhier's eyes fell on the little love heart. He stared at it for a few seconds and couldn't help but curled his lips slightly.
cute.
Dear Mr. Xiao Zhier:
Chen Tong's surgery is about to start, and I need to contact the operating room in advance to prepare, so I don't have time to coax you. I can only bring you a can of milk, and I hope you'll be happy. You may not want to see me now. I put the milk at the door. The weather is still warm now, so you can drink it when you see it.
After the operation, please give me a chance to meet again.
Xu Ze
Xiao Zhier stared at Xu Ze's signature for a long time, and the gloomy emotions that had been accumulating in his heart seemed to begin to dispel little by little. Warm sunlight shone through the dark clouds in the sky, allowing the child who had been huddled in the corner and crying to see the long-lost sun.
This kind of focused and firm choice and tolerance, which did not belong to relatives, easily penetrated the thick defense line built by Xiao Zhier.
He pursed his lips, raised his hand and gently pressed the corners of his eyes, and widened his eyes.
There was a scorching heat surging in his heart, and Xiao Zhier lowered his head at a loss. Warm tears welled up in his eyes and dripped as he blinked, hitting the piece of paper on Xiao Zhier's legs, making Xu Ze's signature a small water stain.
Xiao Zhier reached out his hand in panic to wipe it away, but the moment his fingertips pressed on the tear marks, he suddenly came to his senses.
If he wiped it like this, Xu Ze's signature would be even more smeared. Rather than smearing it until even the name couldn't be seen, it would be better to keep it like it is now and treat it as a small decoration.
Thinking of this, Xiao Zhier gently raised his finger.
Unexpectedly, at the place where the tears fell, the small water stain was printed with circles of lines, and the small incomplete fingerprint mark was faintly visible, as if the god of fate held a seal called "coincidence" and knocked on Xu Ze's name with a mark belonging to Xiao Zhier.
This is a unique mark, a miracle forged by a coincidence.
This note was like a signal of restart. After Xiao Zhier got it, everything seemed to start to get better slowly.
Six hours after Chen Tong's surgery, his parents rushed to the hospital.
Xiao Zhier was just about to go out to find food when he saw a couple supporting each other and running quickly towards the nurses' station. After saying a few words to the nurse, they staggered towards him.
Xiao Zhier was startled at first, but then he immediately realized that these might be Chen Tong's parents.
He quickly took two steps forward and held up Chen Tong's mother's arm. Fortunately, Xiao Zhier reacted in time. When Chen's mother rushed a few steps in front of him, she twisted her foot and almost knelt in front of Xiao Zhier.
"Teacher! Are you Teacher Xiao?"
Mother Chen didn't care about her aching ankle. She held Xiao Zhier's arm tightly, and her voice was on the verge of breaking.
She was a little out of control. Xiao Zhier's shirt sleeves were rolled up. His arm was pinched by Chen's mother and it hurt a little. Xiao Zhier couldn't help but tremble. He endured the pain and lifted up Chen's mother's body: "Yes, I am Chen Tong's counselor. His operation was very successful. The doctor said to rest well during the holidays and be careful not to get infected. There will be no problem."
Father Chen breathed a sigh of relief when he heard this. He hurriedly threw his bag aside and with the help of Xiao Zhier, he helped his wife up. She had been nervous all the way and now suddenly relaxed and almost collapsed after learning about the situation.
He helped Chen's mother sit down on the chair at the door first. Chen's father then wiped the sweat off his forehead and shook hands with Xiao Zhier: "Thank you, teacher. It's all thanks to you. Otherwise, Chen Tong would have to do the surgery here by himself. We would have been so anxious."
Xiao Zhier smiled and said, "You're welcome. I'm his counselor. It's my job to help him deal with the problems he encounters at school."
As he spoke, he turned his head to look at Chen's mother who was sitting beside him with a grateful look on her face, and hesitantly said, "I think you sprained your ankle just now? Do you want to see a doctor?"
"Looking for a doctor? What happened?"
Before Xiao Zhier finished speaking and before Chen's mother spoke, a familiar voice came from afar.
After Xu Ze finished Chen Tong's operation, he found a place to rest for a while. After catching his breath, he ran to the ward several times on the pretext of observing the patient's condition. He was so diligent that Xiao Zhier even found him annoying.
Xiao Zhier never thought that Xu Ze, who seemed calm, well-behaved and obedient on weekdays, would one day be so clingy. It would be fine if he came once or twice, but in the few hours when Chen Tong returned to the ward, Xu Ze had come for seven or eight times under the pretext of observing the patient's condition.
When Xu Ze came over again, Xiao Zhier stopped him outside the ward.
Seeing Xu Ze stop in front of him, Xiao Zhier didn't give Xu Ze a chance to speak. He stared at Xu Ze for a few seconds with a half-smile, then raised his chin towards him and said, "Doctor Xu is really responsible. He comes to check on the ward every half an hour, but it's tiring to walk back and forth. Why don't you just stay here?"
Xu Ze could hear the dissatisfaction revealed in Xiao Zhier's words, and he subconsciously wanted to comfort him, but unfortunately Xiao Zhier's suggestion that he stay was too tempting for Xu.
So Xu Ze couldn't help but his eyes lit up.
Xiao Zhier: ...
He took two deep breaths and tried to remind himself not to fall in love. After repeating this several times, Xiao Zhier still glared at him unhappily: "You're just trying to take advantage of me, huh?"
Xu Ze came over with a smile. Xiao Zhier saw that he was sticking to him little by little as if he had no bones. He raised his eyes and glanced at him lazily: "What's wrong? Are your legs weak from running back and forth so much?"
Xu Ze just smiled. After hearing what Xiao Zhier said, he answered the question irrelevantly: "You are not angry with me anymore, right?"
Xiao Zhier's eyelashes trembled slightly. He dodged Xu Ze's arm awkwardly and said softly, "What's there to be angry about? Stop flattering yourself..."
Xiao Zhier was not a person who could not distinguish right from wrong. He knew from the beginning that the sudden irritation he felt when facing Xu Ze was ultimately due to the self-loathing in his heart.
He didn't believe that there would be anyone who would love him unconditionally and treat him well, so Xiao Zhier would tell himself again and again that they all had ulterior motives, greedy for beauty, greedy for connections, greedy for family background...
In short, everything is not just because I like Xiao Zhier.
After hinting at himself like this for a long time, Xiao Zhier will naturally resist Xu Ze's approach.
Because he could feel the sincere and passionate emotions of Xu Ze, and given Xu Ze's ability and family background, he really could not be considered to be of any benefit to Xiao Zhier.
Just for love?
Xiao Zhier sneered, yet shamefully yearned for it.
So he couldn't control his temper. Xiao Zhier wanted to use this bad way to prove that if Xu Ze left, it would mean that the idea he had always insisted on was correct.
If Xu Ze had stayed with him all the time...
Xiao Zhier took a deep breath. He didn't know whether this day would come or not, nor did he know what plans he would make. But he felt that if there was someone who would accompany him all the way, he hoped it would be Xu Ze.
"Really? That's great. I heard that classmate Chen's parents are on their way here. When his parents arrive, can you retire as a counselor?"
Xu Ze seemed not to notice Xiao Zhier's mood. He smiled and tapped Xiao Zhier's shoulder with his fingertips. After Xiao Zhier turned to look at him, he continued, "Is there any chance that I can invite Brother Xiao to have a drink with me tonight?"
Xiao Zhier glanced at him and said lightly, "Promise not to show up in front of me for the next hour, and I'll think about it."
Xu Ze put his fingers together and touched his brows, and a happy smile appeared on the young man's face: "Understood!"
It was because of these words that when Xiao Zhier heard Xu Ze's voice, he subconsciously glanced at the time on his mobile phone.
Okay, exactly one hour.
Xiao Zhier looked at Xu Ze pretending to be passing by and approached. He sighed helplessly: "You have a pretty good sense of timing."
If Xu Ze had a tail, it would probably be able to fly up to the sky. He smiled proudly: "Of course... not!"
Halfway through feeling proud, Xu Ze caught a glimpse of Xiao Zhier's gaze. He immediately stopped smiling, lowered his head and put on a serious look: "I was just passing by... I heard you said you wanted to see a doctor. Is there something wrong with classmate Chen?"
Xiao Zhier waved his hands and said, "No, Chen Tong is sleeping. It seems that Chen Tong's mother twisted her ankle on the way here."
Xu Ze smiled knowingly, and without saying anything else, he turned around and squatted in front of Chen's mother. He lifted up her trouser leg and gently pinched her swollen ankle.
Mother Chen took a deep breath and said a little awkwardly: "Look at this... Thank you, doctor."
Xu Ze just smiled. Xiao Zhier introduced them to the two of them, "This is Doctor Xu. He performed Chen Tong's surgery. Doctor Xu cares about the child and came here to check on him."
When Chen's father and mother heard that it was the child's surgeon, they were both shocked. They hurriedly reached out to support Xu Ze, and Chen's mother even held Xu Ze's hand and kept thanking him.
Xiao Zhier knew something about Chen Tong's family situation. He was admitted from the countryside. His family was not poor, but not rich either. His parents had a low level of education. They farmed in the countryside all year round. They couldn't say anything fancy and could only repeat their gratitude over and over again.
The deep love and care that parents have for their children overflowed in every word of thanks, making Xu Ze a little overwhelmed.
He held onto Chen's father and mother's arms and looked at Xiao Zhier as if asking for help.
Xiao Zhier took a half step forward and supported Chen's father's arm. He smiled warmly, "Doctor Xu is very good. You two don't have to worry. Chen Tong is sleeping in the ward. You have come all the way here. You should stay in the ward with the child. Let Doctor Xu take a rest. I will tell you about some follow-up matters."
As he spoke, Xiao Zhier glanced at Xu Ze.
Xu Ze understood what she meant. He quickly withdrew his hand and said to Chen's mother with a smile: "I have checked your ankle sprain. It's just a minor problem. I will ask the nurse station to send an ice pack over for cold compress."
Watching Xu Ze fleeing in panic, Xiao Zhier couldn't help but curl the corners of his lips. He accompanied Chen's father and mother back to the ward. Knowing that this was not his stage, he dragged a small stool and sat in the corner, trying not to disturb the reunion of the Chen family of three.
Chen Tong's parents arrived, and after the family calmed down, Xiao Zhier informed them of the doctor's instructions one by one, and after receiving tons of gratitude, he left with honor.
He stood outside the door, listening to the noise in the ward gradually dying down. Xiao Zhier leaned against the wall, raised his head and stared blankly at the light above his head for a few seconds.
It was already late at night, and the built-in lights on the ceiling of the corridor were dimmed a little so as not to be too glaring to people leaving the ward late at night, but staring at them for too long would still make one feel uncomfortable.
Xiao Zhier blinked his dry eyes, and bright spots of light kept shaking in the bottom of his eyes, creating a dizzying feeling out of thin air.
He pressed his stomach and rubbed it gently twice, and felt that the burning pain in his stomach was slightly relieved.
Xiao Zhier stood up straight and let out a long sigh.
I can finally get off work. It has been such a chaotic day.
"Vacation, vacation..."
Xiao Zhier was flipping through his schedule while walking quickly out. When he passed the nurses' station, he felt a gaze coming from the side.
Xiao Zhier glanced over subconsciously and met Xu Ze's resentful eyes.
Xiao Zhier:! ! !
The lights were dim, and the only light on in the nurses' station was in the pharmacy. Xu Ze lay motionless on the table, half of his face buried in his arms, leaving only his eyes exposed, staring at him without blinking.
Xiao Zhier was so frightened by him that his hands started shaking and he almost threw his phone away.
It was the middle of the night and he thought he had seen a ghost! Xiao Zhier hurriedly hugged his phone into his arms. He took a breath in shock, then looked at Xu Ze and asked him carefully, "What are you doing?"
Xu Ze did not respond.
Xiao Zhier became more and more flustered. He was at a loss for a while before he moved closer to Xu Ze and pushed his shoulder: "Xu Ze?"
Xu Ze's body shook slightly, and he shuddered suddenly. Then he looked up at Xiao Zhier blankly: "Brother Xiao? Can you get off work now?"
His voice was light and much softer than usual, even a little soft and sticky, like a two or three month old puppy humming softly when it just woke up.
Xiao Zhier was stunned for two seconds. He looked at Xu Ze rubbing his eyes lazily. After two seconds of silence, he raised his eyebrows as if he had seen a new world, with a strange look in his eyes.
Xu Ze looked up and saw Xiao Zhier's expression. He blinked in confusion: "What's wrong?"
Xiao Zhier smiled and waved his hands: "It's okay, I've heard of people who can sleep with their eyes open, but this is the first time I've seen it in real life."
Perhaps because his brain had just started working, Xu Ze was stunned for a few seconds. It was not until Xiao Zhier laughed out loud that Xu Ze seemed to understand what he meant.
The next second, Xu Ze's face turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye. He was obviously extremely embarrassed. Even his eyes were blurred with a hazy red, which made him look even more beautiful in the moonlight streaming in from the window.
Xiao Zhier couldn't help but take a deep breath.
Seeing that Xu Ze was very embarrassed, Xiao Zhier considerately did not tease him about this matter. He gently hooked Xu Ze's hair with his fingers and said in a gentle voice: "Why are you waiting here?"
Xu Ze yawned slightly, the blush on his face still not fading. Hearing this, he looked at Xiao Zhier calmly and said confidently, "Because I guess you won't go to the emergency room to see me."
Xiao Zhier choked for two seconds. He thought about it and felt that there was really nothing to hide, so he simply started to play badly.
He shrugged: "You're right."
Xu Ze didn't expect that Xiao Zhier, who always paid attention to every aspect, would admit it directly. He was stunned for two seconds, shook his head helplessly, took out a bread from his windbreaker pocket and stuffed it into Xiao Zhier's hand.
Xiao Zhier was startled, and then he heard Xu Ze say with a smile: "Your stomach may be uncomfortable, just eat something to fill it up."
Shaocheng is a city with a very rich nightlife. Even in the early morning, the roadside is still bustling with people, bright neon lights flashing, and colorful lights flickering, attracting people to this colorful night.
Xiao Zhier ate a palm-sized piece of bread, and the discomfort in his stomach had subsided a lot. He raised his hand to cover his lips and yawned, then looked at the young man next to him and chuckled.
Xu Ze turned his head and glanced at him, his handsome features showing a bit of bewilderment: "What's wrong?"
Xiao Zhier raised his chin slightly, signaling him to drive carefully: "Nothing, I just feel it's a little unreal."
Xu Ze looked ahead, the vehicle was driving steadily: "I'd like to hear more details."
Xiao Zhier did not answer him.
What could he say about this?
After all, because of the blind date a month ago, he felt socially frustrated every time he saw Xu Ze, but now the two of them can maintain such a good relationship and may even get closer.
If Xiao Zhier had not experienced everything personally, he would never have believed that he and Xu Ze would have come to this point.
However, these secret thoughts and emotions that he himself did not understand were naturally not to be told to outsiders.
Xiao Zhier didn't want to make up an excuse to fool Xu Ze, so he just changed the subject: "Didn't you ask me to go have a drink with you? This road doesn't seem to be the way to the bar street."
Xu Ze smiled and shook his head: "Forget it, the crispy counselor with a bad stomach should go home and rest early. If you get sick because of drinking with me, I can't afford to compensate you."
Xiao Zhier was still a little unconvinced, he leaned back and said: "How can I be so fragile..."
As he was mumbling, Xu Ze's gaze drifted over and circled around Xiao Zhier's abdomen as if it were real.
Xu Ze chuckled softly.
He clearly didn't say a word, but a strong hint of ridicule almost overflowed from his eyes.
Xiao Zhier gritted his teeth.
It was a rare opportunity for Xu Ze to gain the upper hand over Xiao Zhier. He smugly hummed a vague song, and when he parked his car downstairs of Xiao Zhier's house, he had an unconcealable smile on his face.
Xiao Zhier stared at him for a few seconds. He slowly unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. However, he did not go upstairs directly after getting out of the car. Instead, he walked around half a circle, went to the side of the driver's seat, and knocked on the window with his fingers.
Xu Ze didn't understand what he meant. He lowered the car window, looked at Xiao Zhier and said with a smile, "It's too late today, so I won't come to visit you. It's better for Brother Xiao to go to bed early."
Xiao Zhier spoke slowly: "A few days ago, a friend gave me two tickets for an art exhibition held at the Provincial Art Museum during the holiday. I originally wanted to invite you to join us."
Xu Ze's eyes lit up.
Two tickets, go to the art exhibition with Xiao Zhier.
To round it off, isn't this Xiao Zhier inviting him to go out on a date during the holidays?
Xu Ze's eyes sparkled as he looked at Xiao Zhi'er expectantly: "Are you serious, Brother Xiao?"
Xiao Zhier smiled and reached out to gently touch the tip of Xu Ze's nose, and smiled softly: "I was just kidding."
After saying this, Xiao Zhier turned around and walked quickly into the unit.
As the unit door locked, the excitement in Xu Ze's eyes gradually dimmed. He slowly exhaled and smiled bitterly.
At least, Xiao Zhier is now interested in joking with him, so his pursuit has made some small progress.
It's late at night.
The living room was covered with thick shag carpets, and the curtains in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows were wide open. Lights of various colors penetrated the window glass and entered the room, covering everything in the room with a layer of colorful and bizarre colors.
Xiao Zhier was sitting in front of the window, with a gray-purple plush bear behind him. He leaned his whole body in the bear's arms, holding one of the bear's arms with both hands, and stroking the soft long hair on the bear's arm from time to time.
He stared out the window with an expressionless face. The brilliant neon lights flickered continuously. The colorful lights fell into Xiao Zhier's eyes. The chaotic light sources seemed noisy, reflecting Xiao Zhier's cold expression, making him look like he was wrapped in ice.
He seemed tired of the clutter. Xiao Zhier tilted his head in boredom. He stared at the few gadgets placed in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, and after a few seconds he stretched one leg.
Xiao Zhier was used to going barefoot at home. His bare toes touched the small wicker rabbit. Xiao Zhier stepped hard and the rabbit was knocked over by him. The rabbit rolled around twice, its bright red eyes glowing faintly.
It started raining outside the window.
Xiao Zhier hates rainy days the most.
The drizzle of rain fell lightly, carrying with it a strong sense of dampness and the unique smell of rain. Everything around seemed to be wet, becoming slightly sticky and damp, a feeling that made people feel bored.
Xiao Zhier subconsciously retracted his feet. He tried to curl himself up into a ball, almost sinking into the long fur of the big bear behind him.
Wrapped in the big bear's dry hair, Xiao Zhier trembled slightly. His soft hair fell down and lightly rested on his forehead. Then it was wetted by the cold sweat that kept coming out of Xiao Zhier's forehead, and stuck to his cheeks in strands.
Xiao Zhier was gasping for breath, as if his throat was being strangled by an invisible hand. No matter how hard he breathed, he could not escape the feeling of suffocation that was gradually creeping up on him like the sea water.
It was like falling into a bottomless ocean. All buoyancy was canceled out. No matter how he struggled, he could only fall and cry until he was completely swallowed by the ocean.
Faintly, there was the sound of music in my ears.
The soft music lingered and repeated, the low and gentle rhythm was sleeping in the rain, it was the familiar "Gymnopedie No.1".
But amidst the music, Xiao Zhier trembled as he heard the cry of a child. The extremely suppressed low sobs were like a nightmare that lingered in his mind all day long. It came with a strong smell of blood, and with an unparalleled force, it pulled the prey into the trap that had been prepared long ago.
The faint sound of a child crying in my ears gradually became clearer, a bright blood color flashed across my sight, a sharp blade cut through the skin and flesh, and the young child struggled and screamed frantically.
Xiao Zhier's face was pale. He was like a wandering soul with nowhere to go. No one could see him or touch him, and he couldn't touch anyone.
So he could only watch the woman holding the child in her arms, humming a soft song as she used the blade removed from an eyebrow razor to cut across the child's soft skin.
It was raining, and the fine raindrops wet the soil of the garden, mixing the strong smell of blood with the smell of the soil, emitting a disgusting salty smell.
This place was too familiar, so familiar that Xiao Zhier felt that the wounds he had suffered many years ago began to hurt again. The pain that penetrated deep into his bones made him tremble uncontrollably, and even a faint taste of blood rose in his throat.
This is where he lived until he was six years old.
Xiao Zhier was like a puppet controlled by puppet strings. Although he resisted immensely, he was still pushed in front of the woman with no escape.
With a "bang", he staggered two steps and fell to the ground, his knees hitting the ground heavily. The cobblestone path hurt Xiao Zhier so much that he almost cried.
But Xiao Zhier didn't have time to check his knees. When he looked up, he met the woman's smiling face.
She is beautiful. Even though Xiao Zhier hasn't seen her for twenty years and even though Xiao Zhier hates her deeply, Xiao Zhier still admits that she is beautiful.
She is like a beauty who has walked out of a classical painting. Her every frown and smile is enough to inspire pity. It is the kind of beauty that is so fragile that it seems easily destroyed.
Such a beauty, however, held a sharp blade between her slender white fingers, and was slowly cutting it across the arm of the child in her arms.
Warm, dazzling blood instantly gushed out from the wound, and the pungent smell was like a sledgehammer hitting Xiao Zhier on the head, making him feel dizzy for a moment, and he was about to collapse.
But at this moment, he saw clearly the face of the child in the woman's arms.
Big peach blossom eyes, clear amber pupils, and a baby-chubby face.
This is Xiao Zhier when he was a child.
Little Xiao Zhier seemed to be familiar with this kind of pain, his body was almost in spasm due to the pain, but the child still bit his lips tightly, only some choked sobs and crying leaked out from between his teeth.
He didn't dare to cry, because crying would make his mother even crazier, and perhaps the original three wounds would increase to five. He didn't want to feel the pain anymore.
But how could a child endure such pain?
The child bit his lips until they bled, and the blood mixed with tears flowed into his throat. He couldn't help but dry heave, and his little body trembled violently as he burst into unbearable, shrill cries.
Xiao Zhier's tears suddenly welled up. He climbed onto the garden bench, ignoring the mud and grass debris on the chair legs. Xiao Zhier climbed up in a panic. He wanted to snatch the crying child from the woman's arms like a madman.
But Xiao Zhier came up empty-handed.
As if to punish Xiao Zhier's resistance, the continuous pain in his arm suddenly became more intense, so painful that he felt that his arm had lost consciousness, and his fingertips trembled uncontrollably, but he no longer relied on his will to move at all.
"It hurts so much...Mom, it hurts so much..."
"Wenwen knows she's wrong! Mom, please don't cut me!"
"It hurts, Mom, Mom, it hurts..."
The child's screams suddenly increased more than ten times. The deafening cry mixed with the roar of wind and rain made Xiao Zhier's thoughts stop working. He seemed to have forgotten that he was an adult male and became like a child.
I curled up and wanted to squeeze myself into a corner among the bushes in the garden, hoping to gain the abuser's mercy with tears and begging for mercy, in exchange for a brief period of peace and stability.
"No...no..." Xiao Zhier murmured, his dry lips split into a bleeding hole due to constant begging for mercy, blood seeped out of the wound, and fine blood beads slowly covered the lip flesh, condensing into a thin layer of blood skin.
The sound of "Gymnopedie No.1" continued to echo. Xiao Zhier was breathing rapidly. His brows were furrowed, half of his face was buried in Daxiong's arms, and he shook his head irritably.
“Bang, bang, bang!”
Just then, a huge noise was heard.
Xiao Zhier pursed his lips. He seemed to feel the slight pain from the wound on his lips and shrank slightly for a moment.
He felt extremely tired, with no strength in his body. Even wanting to turn over was too exhausting, as if a sour and swollen pain was spreading through his bones.
The cell phone rang persistently, as if there was a wind from the wilderness under the starry sky blowing dead leaves past, bringing a dry scent.
But the wind was too rough, and Xiao Zhier couldn't help but think of the stray cats he fed when he was in school. When the little animals' barbed tongues licked his skin, they would cause a slight stinging sensation.
Xiao Zhier gently hooked his fingertips, and after a while, he struggled to open his eyes.
The moment he opened his eyes, Xiao Zhier felt dizzy. The whole world seemed to be spinning rapidly, with colors flickering and strange lights, like a scene in a dream.
The sound of "Gymnopedie No.1" is like a sharp blade that cuts through the maze, as sharp as snow, cleanly and neatly cutting off the nightmare that wraps Xiao Zhier.
As he gradually regained consciousness, Xiao Zhier realized belatedly that the hurried knocking on the door was not just his imagination in a dream, but someone really was knocking on his door.
Xiao Zhier pressed on Big Bear's belly and tried to support his body. It was just such a simple action of getting up, but Xiao Zhier's arms were shaking as if they were carrying a thousand-pound weight.
The bright sunshine fell on Xiao Zhier. He blinked slowly and raised his hand to rub his aching forehead.
The blood vessels in his temple were beating violently and rapidly, accompanied by intense pain, which even made Xiao Zhier wonder if it would explode in the next second.
Only then did he realize that he had been in a daze yesterday and had actually slept in Big Bear's arms all night.
Xiao Zhier struggled for a long time before he got up. The moment he stood up, he felt dizzy, as if a ball of charcoal was burning in his throat and his stomach was burning with pain.
The knocking sound beside his ear and the music of "Gymnopedie No.1" overlapped and became a heavy noise, which hit Xiao Zhier's ears with a force that made him unable to refuse, and intertwined with the sharp tinnitus to become a trigger of anxiety.
Xiao Zhier just felt cold all over, and every step he took towards the door seemed to be a battle with his uncontrollable limbs. His breathing seemed extremely rapid, and his throat seemed to be tightly strangled by a big hand. The bloody pain and dryness were constantly eroding Xiao Zhier's sanity.
Xiao Zhier almost felt like vomiting. He pinched his arm hard, using the pain to forcefully awaken his reason and forcefully suppress his emotions and negative reactions.
At this moment, Xiao Zhier even felt as if he had been separated into two parts. His body moved mechanically like a zombie, while his soul floated high above his head.
When Xiao Zhier finally moved to the door with difficulty, he was extremely tired, and his remaining physical strength seemed insufficient to support him to take the next step.
Xiao Zhier was crouching on the low cabinet at the door in a somewhat embarrassed manner. He was breathing heavily and coughed twice with the back of his hand against his lips.
The person outside the door seemed to have heard Xiao Zhier's cough. The "Gymnopedie No.1" that had been playing repeatedly came to an abrupt end, and the knocking on the door also stopped.
A few seconds later, the knock on the door sounded again, but this time the sound became much softer, three light knocks, as if reminding someone of something.
The next second, Xu Ze's voice rang out from outside the door: "Brother Xiao? Can you hear me?"
He seemed to have noticed that Xiao Zhier's condition was not right at the moment. Both his voice and tone were much softer than usual.
It's like coaxing a child.
Xiao Zhier was thinking wildly, trying to make the best of a difficult situation.
Xu Ze waited for a while outside the door, but didn't hear Xiao Zhier's response. He suddenly became a little anxious. Trying to suppress his impatience, Xu Ze knocked on the door twice again and repeated his words.
Xiao Zhier just realized at this time that he was busy complaining in his heart. Before he could respond to Xu Ze's words, he hurriedly held on to the low cabinet to steady himself and opened the door for Xu Ze.
With a light "click" sound, the door lock popped open and Xu Ze squeezed in through the crack in the door like a loach.
Xiao Zhier only felt a flash before his eyes, and Xu Ze's arm was already around his waist, just enough to stabilize his shaking body.
The moment Xu Ze saw Xiao Zhier, he realized something was wrong. He raised his hand and pressed it against Xiao Zhier's forehead. His expression immediately turned ugly: "Brother Xiao, you have a high fever."
Xiao Zhier's reaction was much slower than usual. After hearing Xu Ze's words, he took two seconds to understand what he meant. Xiao Zhier's long eyelashes trembled slightly, and he looked up in confusion: "...Fever?"
He raised his hand and touched his forehead, his fingertips lightly pressing against Xu Ze's hand, which had not yet been withdrawn, and he actually felt a strange sense of heat in contrast.
The adverse reactions that had been forcibly suppressed by Xiao Zhier before suddenly increased several times and came back with a vengeance the moment he realized that he was sick, as if in revenge for Xiao Zhier's suppression of them.
At that moment, Xiao Zhier felt dizzy and his heartbeat was particularly obvious. At one point he even felt that he could hear the sound of his own heartbeat.
Severe palpitations and headaches came over him like cold waves, leaving Xiao Zhier at a loss.
"Cough... cough cough..." Xiao Zhier raised his hands to press against his lips, blocking the violent coughing back into his throat, "Sorry, I didn't pay attention..."
Xiao Zhier's face flushed strangely. He tried hard to put on a smile, trying to comfort the anxious Xu Ze: "It's okay, I'll take some medicine and rest later and I'll be fine."
Xu Ze pursed his lips. He was always gentle and soft in front of Xiao Zhier. When he heard Xiao Zhier's words at this time, the calm emotions in Xu Ze's eyes could not be concealed at once.
His eyes darkened slightly, and he suppressed his emotions patiently and said softly, "With a fever like this, it's impossible for a pill to cure it. I'll take you to the hospital."
Xiao Zhier clenched his fingers suddenly, and his fingertips brushed across Xu Ze's sleeve, leaving a dragging mark on the cuff: "No need."
Xu Ze frowned: "Such a high fever will cause irreversible damage to the brain nerves over time. How can we not go to the hospital?"
Xiao Zhier lowered his eyes and gently tapped Xu Ze's wrist, motioning him to help him sit down on the sofa. Although Xu Ze was full of anxiety, seeing Xiao Zhier's insistence, he obediently supported Xiao Zhier's elbow and half hugged and half embraced Xiao Zhier to the sofa.
"I don't have a viral or bacterial flu, so it doesn't matter to me whether I go to the hospital or not."
Xiao Zhier took two breaths, looked up at Xu Ze, and calmly dropped a bomb.
Xu Ze was stunned by the explosion. A question mark hung on his face and his brows were furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Xiao Zhier sighed softly. He took the cup of water handed to him by Xu Ze and shivered slightly while holding the hot cup. "Psychogenic fever, I wonder if you have ever had it?"
Xu Ze's heart sank.
This is a high fever caused by negative emotions or excessive psychological pressure. It is a non-infectious phenomenon of increased body temperature and is the result of the interaction between the patient's body and mind.
Xu Ze bit his lip and asked with some difficulty: "Have you been to the hospital for a check-up...Do you have any anti-anxiety drugs at home?"
Xiao Zhier knew what Xu Ze was talking about. He smiled and nodded: "Don't worry, I'm just not in a good mood. I'll be fine after two days of rest."
Xu Ze sighed softly.
Seeing that he looked like an eggplant hit by frost, Xiao Zhier couldn't help but laugh. He took a sip of water and said, "It's okay. Don't worry about me."
He paused, as if he had just realized something, and raised his chin towards Xu Ze: "I haven't asked you yet, why did you suddenly come to see me, is there something wrong?"
Xu Ze was stunned for two seconds. He subconsciously touched his pocket and then shook his head: "Nothing, I just saw that you didn't answer the phone, I was worried, so I came to check."
Because of the high fever, Xiao Zhier was not as sharp as usual. Seeing that there seemed to be nothing wrong with Xu Ze's expression, he did not take it to heart and just coughed twice in a low voice.
He knew that Xu Ze was worried about him, but Xiao Zhier was also worried that he, who could be easily moved by a text message, might fall into emotion again at any time.
Such a Xiao Zhier would not be likable.
Xiao Zhier's breathing was much more rapid than usual, and his pale cheeks were flushed due to the high fever, but he was unwilling to go into the house to rest.
Xu Ze frowned and stared at Xiao Zhier for two seconds.
The young man's eyes were burning, and Xiao Zhi'er was a little uneasy. He subconsciously shifted his gaze. After avoiding Xu Ze's gaze, Xiao Zhi'er whispered to him to leave: "Go back, I'll be fine."
Xu Ze snorted softly, with a hint of suppressed anger, or perhaps a disdainful sneer.
Xiao Zhier lowered his eyes and stared stiffly at the carpet under his feet, but for some reason, the clear soft long hair in his sight gradually became blurred.
He blinked slowly.
As the eyelashes trembled, warm tears rolled down from the eye sockets, slid down the smooth cheeks, and fell into the collar, forming a small, dim and hazy mark.
Xiao Zhier suddenly realized that it was him who was crying.
The next second after the tears fell, Xiao Zhier heard footsteps, but they did not go away, but came to his side.
Before he had time to look back, he felt a slightly cool embrace wrapping him. Xiao Zhier lowered his eyes in a daze and saw Xu Ze's hand reaching out from his knee.
The next moment, Xiao Zhier was easily picked up by Xu Ze. He was caught off guard and grabbed Xu Ze's clothes in panic: "Xu Ze..."
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