Chapter 8
In late May, the air in Fuzhou was filled with restlessness and unease as the monthly exams officially began.
The day before the exam, the exam room assignment list for each class was posted on the door of each classroom.
Sang followed the crowd out of the classroom. Her gaze lingered for a moment on the white paper by the door of Class 7, and she saw that she had been assigned to the exam room of Class 11.
After class, Sang Sui deliberately took a detour past Class 6. When she passed the door of Class 6, she quickly glanced into the classroom but did not see Liang Fengshen.
He is still not here.
Even in the next class, she rarely had the chance to run into him; at most, she would glance inside his classroom when passing by the door.
Whether or not one can see Liang Fengshen is purely a matter of luck.
She had another purpose this time, which was to see which examination room Liang Fengshen was assigned to take the exam.
As Sang Sui passed the place with the class assignment list posted at the entrance, he deliberately slowed down and quickly glanced at each name from top to bottom, finally fixing his gaze on a familiar name—Liang Fengshen, Class 3, exam room.
They were not in the same examination room.
Even though she knew all along that it was only a low-probability event that she would be assigned to the same class as Liang Fengshen, when her guess was confirmed, she still felt a faint sense of disappointment.
It's like hoping for a snowfall that will never come; even knowing the hope is slim, you still can't help but feel a little disappointed.
On the morning of the exam, Sang Sui opened her eyes before the alarm clock rang. A familiar, sinking, aching sensation suddenly came from her lower abdomen, making her heart sink.
She got up and went to the bathroom, and sure enough, her period started, which happened to be on the day of the exam.
As I entered the restaurant, I saw Tan Huiyu, unusually at breakfast time, pushing a steaming cup of milk in front of her seat.
"Drink it quickly, so you can stay focused during the exam."
"Thank you, Mom."
"Take the test well, don't be nervous, just treat it like a normal test." Tan Huiyu added a few more words, which were nothing more than "don't be nervous" and "take the test well".
In fact, this exam was just a trivial monthly test, but Tan Huiyu showed the tension as if it were the college entrance examination in Sangsui.
Sang Sui listened quietly, sipping the warm milk, which did indeed temporarily relieve her abdominal discomfort.
Stepping into the examination room, the air thick with the smell of ink and the tension hit me.
As the exam papers were handed out, Sang Sui took a deep breath and picked up his pen.
However, less than half an hour into the exam, the soreness in my lower abdomen suddenly escalated into sharp, cramping pains.
Cold sweat instantly soaked her bangs, which clung stickily to her skin.
My lower abdomen hurts again.
Her face was pale, and her fingertips trembled slightly as she gripped the pen tightly.
We cannot give up.
Sang Sui bit her lower lip, almost tasting a metallic, metallic flavor.
Her mind flashed back to Teacher Yuan Ying's words, her parents' scrutinizing gaze, and she also thought of Liang Fengshen.
Almost with sheer willpower, she forced herself to concentrate, carefully working out the calculations on the draft paper before transferring the answers onto the exam paper.
Time seemed to drag on endlessly, each second an agony.
When the last number was written, she almost collapsed and put down her pen.
With twenty minutes left in the exam, she couldn't bear it any longer. She raised her hand, handed in her paper early amidst the surprised gazes of the proctor and some classmates, and staggered out of the classroom.
The disinfectant in the infirmary didn't smell good. After a brief inquiry, the school doctor put her on an IV drip.
The school doctor said, "You're in so much pain, and you still insist on finishing the exam before coming here. I'm afraid you'll faint from the pain in the exam room."
Sang Sui didn't speak because she had no strength left at all.
She herself didn't know how she could persevere when she was in so much pain.
The cool medicine flowed into her body through her veins. She leaned against the white pillow in the infirmary, gazing out the window.
The camphor tree leaves rustled in the wind, and sunlight filtered through the gaps in the leaves, casting dappled, shimmering shadows on the concrete ground.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the exam.
Immediately afterwards, a huge commotion came from the direction of the teaching building, surging in like a tide, as students finished their exams.
The cacophony of voices grew louder as it approached.
Amidst the chaotic background noise, Sang Sui glanced out the window, and then, through a glass pane, her gaze unexpectedly caught sight of that figure.
Liang Fengshen and his friend were passing by the corridor outside the infirmary.
He was talking to the person next to him, his face turned to the side, a slight smile playing on his lips, casually twirling a green soda bottle in his hand. His white school uniform short-sleeved shirt gleamed brightly in the early summer light.
Liang Fengshen was still the same—clean, bright, and full of youthful energy—and he still loved drinking that lime sparkling water.
Sang Sui felt as if something had gently squeezed her heart; she forgot to breathe and the lingering pain in her abdomen.
Her gaze followed him involuntarily, like a sunflower following the sun, until his slender and upright figure completely disappeared around the corner of the corridor, merging into the surging crowd outside.
She slowly withdrew her gaze, lowered her eyes, and stared at the white tape on the back of her hand. A subtle bitterness and melancholy spread through her heart.
He always did this: appearing in her sight and then quickly leaving, leaving her with an unreachable silhouette.
Just as she was lost in thought, after what seemed like only a few minutes, the familiar crackling sound of electricity came from the school's public address system.
Immediately afterwards, a clear, clean voice, with the unique quality of a young man, resonated clearly through the speakers, echoing in every corner of the infirmary.
"Hello everyone, this is Rongcheng No. 1 Midday Broadcasting Station..."
It was Liang Fengshen.
It turns out it was his shift today.
The person who had disappeared from her sight just minutes before now had his voice omnipresent, surrounding her.
Sang Sui listened quietly as he read a short essay about early summer, his voice like a cool stream flowing through the air.
Without realizing it, she slightly curled the corners of her mouth.
Amazingly, the moment I heard his voice, the pain in my lower abdomen receded like the tide, slowly and inch by inch.
The IV drip by the hospital bed was mostly finished.
The sound of hurried footsteps came from the door of the infirmary, and the next second, the door was pushed open with a "whoosh".
"Sang Sui." Zhao Yanqi's voice was panting from running as she rushed in first, followed closely by Qiao Chunzhao and He Lili.
The three girls all had a worried look on their faces.
Sang Sui was somewhat surprised: "Why are you here?"
She wasn't in the same exam room as them, so she shouldn't have found out about her illness so quickly.
Zhao Yanqi moved right up to the bedside: "How are you? When we handed in our papers, Song Shiyue told us that you had a stomachache and handed them in early. We were so scared!"
Qiao Chunzhao shoved a bottle of hot milk tea into her hand: "It will make you feel better if you hold your stomach."
Sang Sui shook her head: "I'm fine."
"He's already been to the infirmary for an IV drip, and he's still fine?" Zhao Yanqi frowned.
"You're amazing for managing to finish the math exam." He Lili looked at the bandage on the back of her hand, her tone full of genuine admiration.
Looking at the three concerned faces gathered around the bed and listening to their chattering greetings, Sang Sui felt a sudden pang of emotion, and her eyes welled up with tears without warning.
She hurriedly lowered her head, staring at the fine wrinkles on the blanket.
It turns out that, unbeknownst to her, someone was running for her, remembering to bring her a hot drink. It turns out that, besides Jiang Yaoyue far away in Linchuan, she was also gradually carving out her own corner in this unfamiliar city.
These tears, I don't know if they were a physiological reaction triggered by the lingering pain, or a bittersweet feeling scalded by the unexpected warmth in my heart.
After taking the medicine prescribed by the doctor and resting for a while with a friend, the abdominal cramps finally subsided completely. Although I was still a little listless during the next few exams, I managed to get through them smoothly.
The dust had barely settled after the monthly exams when another major event concerning her future arrived—the choice between arts and sciences. When the forms were handed out, Sang Sui barely hesitated before ticking the "science" option.
Becoming a doctor was a path she had planned for herself long ago, a direction in life she wanted to hold onto tightly.
Just as she was about to hand in the form, Song Shiyue and Zhang Da, who were sitting in the front row, started chatting.
"I didn't expect Liang Fengshen to choose humanities. I thought he was so good at science, he would definitely choose science."
"Who knows? Don't try to guess what the big boss is thinking..."
"But he's a music student, so his choice of subject is normal."
Selected texts by Liang Fengshen.
Those four seemingly casual words exploded in her ears like a thunderclap. Her fingers, gripping the form, tightened unconsciously, causing fine wrinkles to form on the edges of the paper.
In an instant, an incredibly strong thought arose wildly—take the form back and change it to humanities.
If they switch to humanities, they might end up on the same floor, or even, with a tiny, almost certain chance, in the same class.
Would that allow her to get closer to him?
No longer would she have to rely on luck to spot him in the vast sea of people. The temptation was too great, so great that it almost shook the belief she had held for so many years.
With a secret anxiety in her heart, she dialed Jiang Yaoyue's number late at night.
On the other end of the phone, after listening to her chaotic and contradictory outpouring, Jiang Yaoyue remained silent for a moment. Then, her usually energetic voice spoke with a rare gentle seriousness: "Sui Sui, before you like someone, you must like yourself first."
In the end, Sang Sui neatly handed the class assignment sheet marked "Science" to Yuan Ying's desk.
The moment I made the decision, it felt like a piece of my heart had been hollowed out, and a silent, overwhelming sadness washed over me.
Her stomach, which had just recovered, seemed to be aching again. She slowly walked back to her seat and buried her face in her arms.
Outside the window are the familiar camphor trees of Rongcheng No.1 Middle School, their green leaves shimmering in the sunlight.
She gently and repeatedly comforted herself in her heart: It's okay, Sang Sui. It's just a small matter of choosing between arts and sciences.
The future is long, and you must still believe that there is plenty of time ahead.
She thought she could comfort herself, but she couldn't.
Finally free from the pressure of the monthly exam, that night she finally had time to read the borrowed book—Cao Wenxuan's "Bronze Sunflower".
In the dormitory after the lights were turned off, Sang Sui held a flashlight in his hand and read the entire book in the dark.
I watched it from midnight until dawn.
Tears blurred most of my face, and I used up most of a pack of tissues.
When she woke up the next day, her eyes were swollen.
Zhao Yanqi was taken aback and quickly asked her what was wrong.
Sang Sui bit her lower lip, a sour feeling spreading rapidly through her heart, like holding a green plum in her mouth: "I feel terrible."
Before she could finish speaking, tears welled up in her eyes again.
Without a word, Zhao Yanqi pulled Sang Sui into her arms and comforted her, "Oh dear, I've actually cried while reading novels before. I cry every time I read 'To Live,' and I even cried while reading 'Pinocchio'..."
Sang Sui choked back a sob, tears streaming uncontrollably down Zhao Yanqi's body.
She was sad because of "Bronze Sunflower".
It was also because of Liang Fengshen.
Sang Sui suddenly understood Zhao Yanqi, understood why she cut her hair short, understood her struggle and sadness, and understood her confusion about choosing between sports and literature.
This is actually such a difficult decision.
After the monthly exam, the school gave them a half-day off. With a secret expectation, Sang Sui went to "Mad Dog Audio-Visual Store" once again.
The afterglow of the setting sun cast a long shadow of her.
Sang Sui stepped into that familiar yet secluded alley again, carrying a tiny hope in her heart—perhaps, she could meet him again.
Pushing open the glass door adorned with wind chimes, the familiar sound of the bells rang out. However, the person who looked up from behind the counter was the shop owner, Feng Wang, with a somewhat tired face, appearing to be around thirty years old.
Sang Sui's heart felt as if it had been gently tugged by something, and it plummeted straight down.
A languid English song played in the shop, and the air was filled with the tranquil scent of old records and wooden furniture, but the slender white figure and the faint aroma of lemon were nowhere to be seen.
An indescribable sense of loss instantly enveloped her. She stood there, somewhat at a loss.
Feng Wang looked at her, seemingly waiting for the customer to speak.
Sang Sui took a deep breath, mustered her courage, and spoke in a voice so soft it almost blended into the music: "Boss, excuse me... where is that boy who was here before?"
Feng Wang paused for a moment, a hint of confusion flashing in his eyes behind his glasses: "What boy?"
"Well, he was very tall and thin, a boy about my age," she described him, trying her best to be specific enough.
Feng Wang suddenly realized, a knowing smile appearing on his face, with a hint of adult teasing as he looked into a young girl's heart: "Oh—you've come to see him?"
“…Mmm.” Sang Sui felt her cheeks getting hot and responded softly.
"What do you want with him?" Feng Wang asked deliberately, his tone teasing and friendly.
Sang Sui's heart skipped a beat, and the excuse she had prepared slipped out: "I...I asked him to download some songs to my MP3 player." As she spoke, she pulled the white MP3 player out of her pocket, as if presenting evidence.
Feng Wang smiled and leaned back: "I'm the shop owner. I can help you with things like downloading music."
"Hmm..." Sang Sui hesitated, her fingertips unconsciously tracing the cool casing of the MP3 player. She finally couldn't resist, looking up with a last glimmer of hope in her eyes, and asked, "And him? Is he an employee here?"
“He’s not a shop assistant,” Feng Wang shook his head, shattering her illusions. “He just comes over occasionally when he’s free to help me watch the shop for a while.”
I see.
Even this one and only seemingly stable place where she could cross paths with Liang Fengshen was nothing more than a lucky coincidence.
Disappointment washed over my heart like a fine tide.
Sang Sui silently handed over the MP3 player, her voice regaining its calmness: "Then I'll trouble you. Could you download some Jay Chou songs for me?"
Many stationery stores offer song downloads, usually costing three to five yuan per download.
Feng Wang took the MP3 player: "What song is it specifically?"
"Either is fine." Sang Sui came here, but her real intention was not to download songs.
Feng Wang took out the memory card, inserted it into the computer with a card reader, and saw a string of familiar songs inside. He raised an eyebrow without making a sound.
This playlist is very unique; you can almost immediately tell who would listen to this kind of music.
Feng Wang didn't expose him, but asked again, "When downloading new songs, do I need to delete the old ones?"
Sang Sui shook his head: "No need to move."
Feng Wang smiled again for no apparent reason.
The download process became exceptionally long.
Sang Sui stood quietly by the counter, his gaze sweeping over the unfamiliar record covers on the shelf, but he couldn't focus on anything.
Feng Wang's words kept echoing in my mind: "Watch the shop for me for a while."
After the division of classes into arts and sciences tracks, there's no possibility that she and Liang Fengshen will be in the same class. And perhaps they won't even be classmates in the next class anymore.
It was impossible to run into Liang Fengshen in this place.
What reason would she have to get close to him?
Sang Sui felt a deep sense of powerlessness throughout his body.
After the download was complete, she thanked him softly, clutched the MP3 player filled with disappointment, and turned to push open the store door.
She lowered her head and disappeared into the deepening twilight at the alley entrance, without looking back.
The glass door was pushed open again the very next second after she disappeared.
Liang Fengshen walked in carrying a shoulder bag, bringing with him the gentle breeze of an early summer evening.
Feng Wang looked up and saw him, a playful smile immediately appearing on his face: "Oh, you just left."
Liang Fengshen casually picked up a record from the shelf and examined it: "What just left?"
“A young girl came looking for you just now.” Feng Wang gestured with his chin toward the door.
"Hmm." Liang Fengshen's gaze remained fixed on the record, his reaction indifferent, as if it wasn't something to be curious about.
Feng Wang found it amusing and leaned forward: "Aren't you going to ask who it is? Aren't you curious?"
Liang Fengshen then raised his head, a casual smile curving his lips, and handed over the record in his hand: "I'm just curious if you've gotten any new gadgets lately."
Seeing his completely oblivious expression, Feng Wang shook his head, took the record, and chuckled softly, as if talking to himself, or perhaps trying to remind him of something:
"The fallen flowers yearn to follow the flowing water... but the flowing water has no heart to love the fallen flowers."
Upon hearing this, Liang Fengshen merely raised an eyebrow noncommittally, his attention quickly drawn to another record on the shelf.
This indifferent attitude, in Cheng Xiao's words before, is just that too many people like you, which makes you not care about anyone.
Sang Sui came with hope, and left with disappointment.
She was wearing headphones, hands in her pockets, and walking slowly down the street.
Jay Chou's "Sunny Day" started playing in my headphones.
Once upon a time, there was someone who loved you for a long time.
But the wind gradually pushed the distance away.
It blows so far.
A gust of wind brushed past Sang Sui's ears, ruffling her hair. She felt a lump in her throat and a heavy weight pressing on her chest.
She blinked, and tears fell from her eyes.
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