Chapter 19
◎“Are you scared to kiss like that?”◎
Cheng Jiamo had no intention of answering his question at all. She turned her head away, broke free from his hand, and stubbornly turned her face away, refusing to look at him or speak to him.
She didn't like He Qingzhao like this, didn't want to talk to him anymore, and was even less willing to give in.
Seeing her resistance all over her body, He Qingzhao felt a sudden surge of anger.
This girl, who not long ago hailed him as a wonderful person and treated him like a god, has now completely changed her gentle demeanor. She is now wary of him, like a hedgehog with its quills spread wide to protect herself, and even shows signs of disgust towards him.
If she hadn't aroused his desire, that would have been fine, but she had, so how could he possibly let go?
He's had enough of losing what he loves, and this time he's determined to get it no matter what.
"Momo, be good." He held her head, forcefully turned her face, and looked at her with a gentle smile. "Answer my question obediently."
Cheng Jiamo pursed her lips and remained silent, looking at him with a cold and stubborn gaze.
He Qingzhao patted her head and smiled gently, "Don't try to be difficult with me, you'll suffer the consequences."
Although he was smiling, Cheng Jiamo found him to be terrifying, like a devil.
Feeling utterly desolate, she dared not confront him directly any longer. She could only lower her stance and say softly, "I'm just like those other women; I like your money and power."
He Qingzhao released her hand, curled one corner of his mouth into a roguish smile, and looked at her.
Cheng Jiamo felt a dull ache in her heart, but she still managed to laugh.
“He Qingzhao, I am not a pure and innocent fairy. If you are looking for a girl like that, then you have come to the wrong place. I crawled out of the abyss and swamp, and I am covered in filth. I am by no means an elegant and holy person. On the contrary, I am very vulgar.”
She lowered her head and gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"Back in Thailand, the reason you were able to rescue me from those people was because you had money and power, right?"
"If you don't have these external conditions, how can you save me?"
"If you hadn't saved me, how could I possibly have liked you?"
"So what you want, I can't give you."
Now it was He Qingzhao's turn to be silent. The girl's gentle words landed firmly in his heart.
He wasn't actually that serious, nor did he want to hear any sacred or grand vows. He just wanted some comfort from her and to hear her say some sweet words in a soft voice to cheer him up.
But she told him earnestly and sincerely that her affection for him was conditional and had a price; it wasn't unconditional.
He was so sincere and frank that he really wanted to make her cry without any mercy!
"Go to sleep." He stood up and walked out, turning off the bedroom light for her.
Cheng Jiamo lay on her side, her eyes wide open, staring blankly at the pre-dawn darkness outside the window. As she looked, her vision blurred.
She felt very upset, depressed, and suffocated.
Although what she said just now was true, it didn't reflect her true feelings.
She didn't know how to express her secret and shy feelings of liking. Could she say, "I like you as a person, I like your noble and upright temperament, I like your talent and elegance, I like the contrasting charm of your aloofness and arrogance"? Impossible, she couldn't say such things. Whether it was cheesy or not was secondary; saying it would only make He Qingzhao think she was hypocritical.
Most importantly, He Qingzhao did not take it seriously.
He couldn't tell whether she liked him or not, nor did he care about her sincerity. All he wanted was an attitude, an attitude of submission to him, or rather, he wanted to get comfort and satisfaction from her.
If that's the case, why should she reveal her true feelings to him?
Let it be. It's better to let him misunderstand than to be looked down upon by him.
He Qingzhao lit a calming incense burner, placed it in Cheng Jiamo's bedroom, and then went to the bathroom in the next bedroom to take a shower.
As Cheng Jiamo smelled the faint fragrance, it was as if she were in a tranquil sea of flowers. Slowly, her body relaxed, and her eyelids gradually became heavy.
Just as she was about to turn over and lie flat, the door behind her was pushed open. Her body tensed up abruptly, her eyes widened, and she instantly woke up.
After washing up, He Qingzhao, dressed in an off-white silk nightgown, lifted the covers and lay down next to Cheng Jiamo, holding her in his arms.
The moment Cheng Jiamo was embraced by him, her body tensed up, and she closed her eyes tightly.
He Qingzhao rubbed his chin against the top of her head and said gently, "Relax."
Cheng Jiamo couldn't relax; her eyelashes trembled as she slowly opened her eyes.
He Qingzhao kissed her ear and whispered "White Moonlight" in her ear.
White Moonlight
Somewhere in my heart
So bright
But it was so cold
...
White Moonlight
Looking at both ends of the sky
In my heart
But not by my side
Cannot be dried
Tears in my memories
Cheng Jiamo could no longer hold back, and tears streamed down her face like a burst dam.
She bit her lip tightly, letting her tears flow onto He Qingzhao's arm.
He Qingzhao paused for a moment, then continued singing.
The road is too long
Unable to win back forgiveness
You are me
Unspeakable wounds
Want to forget
I couldn't help but recall it again.
Cheng Jiamo opened her mouth and bit his arm, her mouth filled with his cool silk pajamas, biting into his flesh and clothes together.
He Qingzhao's voice deepened, but he didn't stop until he finished singing the entire song before he put his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his body.
"Bite here." He pressed her face against his chest. "Bite into your heart."
Cheng Jiamo didn't bite him anymore; she just lay on his chest and cried silently.
He Qingzhao's chest was wet with her tears, the warm tears soaking through his pajamas, as if turning into lava and flowing into his heart.
Is he really that good?
Cheng Jiamo started crying and then laughed, laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face.
“Yes, he is very good, very good.” She raised her head and looked at He Qingzhao with teary eyes. “Three years ago, the moment he pulled me out of the rain, he has been rooted in my heart ever since and has become the light in my heart.”
He Qingzhao felt a lump in his throat, raised his hand to touch her face, his eyes deep and dark, as if a dark fire was burning within them.
"Momo." His Adam's apple bobbed, and his usually cool and gentle voice became slightly hoarse. "I'm sorry, I thought..."
Before he could finish speaking, Cheng Jiamo hurriedly kissed his lips, silencing him.
She didn't want to hear his apology or his explanation.
The moment He Qingzhao was kissed, he felt as if his heart had been struck hard, his heart trembled, and a tingling, itchy sensation spread through him.
For a moment his mind went blank. When he came to his senses, he grabbed her, rolled over, and pinned her down.
Cheng Jiamo was so overwhelmed by the kisses that she felt weak all over and couldn't breathe properly. She simply couldn't withstand He Qingzhao's rapid and intense kisses.
He almost frantically enveloped her lips and sucked hard, holding them in his mouth, biting and nibbling at them, stirring them wildly and unrestrainedly.
This man looks refined and gentle, but his kisses are incredibly fierce.
"Waaah..."
Cheng Jiamo pressed her hands against his taut shoulders, forcefully turned her head away, and gasped for breath with her rosy lips open.
He Qingzhao couldn't stop. He wanted to kiss her, desperately wanted to. If he couldn't kiss her lips, he would kiss her neck, then kiss her ears along her neck, sucking and licking her soft earlobes, gently biting and pulling them, breathing heavily in her ear.
Cheng Jiamo moaned softly as he kissed her, and her hands, which were resting on his shoulders, involuntarily wrapped around his neck as she tilted her head back in response.
"He Qingzhao," she called softly.
He Qingzhao kissed her lips again, but not as hastily as before. Instead, he gently sucked on her lips, sucking and releasing them intermittently.
As Cheng Jiamo was locked in a passionate kiss with him, she suddenly felt a surge of heat.
Startled, she pushed him away, sat up in a panic, and peeked through the opening.
He Qingzhao's chest was still heaving violently. He took a deep breath and asked in a hoarse voice, "What's wrong?"
Cheng Jiamo blushed and said, "I...I thought I had started my period."
The result didn't come, but the cloth in the middle was soaked.
He Qingzhao's lips twitched slightly, and he chuckled in a deep, magnetic voice.
Cheng Jiamo blushed deeply and asked, "What are you laughing at?"
He Qingzhao touched his cheek with the tip of his tongue, smiled, pulled her into his arms, and kissed the corner of her lips.
"Can we just kiss, without doing anything?"
Cheng Jiamo wanted to say, "Didn't you already kiss me?", but before she could say it, He Qingzhao had already turned around and buried himself in her arms.
She was forced to lean back, and the moment he kissed her, she quickly bit her lip.
He Qingzhao sucked and licked the moist, pink lips, and soon kissed the two delicate lips until they became full.
Cheng Jiamo trembled slightly from his kiss, wanting to push him away, but she didn't even have the strength to lift her hand.
He Qingzhao, his broad back brimming with hormones, lowered his head and kissed her again and again until she convulsed and screamed, before finally pulling away from her soft lips.
Cheng Jiamo felt like she had just finished a strenuous workout; her heart was pounding, and she was breathing heavily with her mouth open.
He Qingzhao wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and unbuttoned his wet pajamas with one hand.
He didn't finish unbuttoning; he only undid three buttons, revealing his muscular and well-built chest.
"Are you scared to kiss me like that?" He leaned down and pressed his lips, still carrying her scent, against her face. "Are you scared?"
Cheng Jiamo shook her head: "I'm not afraid."
I wasn't afraid at all. At that moment, besides shyness, I felt a strange and secret excitement.
He Qingzhao pulled her down to lie on the ground and kissed the back of her neck: "Sleep."
Cheng Jiamo was held in his arms and could clearly feel his desire.
"You," she pursed her lips and asked softly, "Are you feeling very unwell?"
He Qingzhao hugged her and pressed her closer to his chest, his voice low and hoarse: "If I said I wasn't feeling unwell, that would be too hypocritical."
Cheng Jiamo was held very tightly by him, so tightly that she could clearly feel his heartbeat. She tried to move away, but as soon as she moved, she heard him groan.
She dared not move again, stiffly letting him hold her.
He Qingzhao restrained himself and bit her shoulder, then buried his face in her neck and kissed her repeatedly, but this was no different from drinking poison to quench his thirst.
"Momo," he called her, his voice hoarse, but he didn't say anything more after that.
Cheng Jiamo bit her lip, mustered her courage, and offered him her hand; this was the biggest concession she could make.
He Qingzhao held her hand as if it were a precious treasure, kissed her behind the ear, and said in a deep and dark voice, "My dear Momo, my sweetheart."
He held her hand and taught her step by step, just like teaching her to write calligraphy, from light to heavy, from slow to fast, and finally faster and faster, wielding the brush like a whirlwind.
Cheng Jiamo maintained her grip, her five fingers closed, not daring to let go, as if she were holding a lump of ice cream that had melted under the scorching sun.
"What should I do?" She was so anxious she was almost in tears.
He Qingzhao wrapped her hands in his pajamas, carried her to the bathroom to wash them, and then carried her to another bedroom. It was almost four in the morning when they fell asleep.
He closed the curtains tightly and turned off all the lights, not even leaving the wall lamps or the bedside lamps on.
"Go to sleep." He didn't kiss her again; if he did, she wouldn't need to sleep during the day.
Cheng Jiamo was being held by He Qingzhao. She thought she wouldn't be able to sleep, but she fell asleep in no time.
When she woke up, it was already afternoon.
She had never slept so soundly before. Even when she was sleepless until three or four in the morning, she would only sleep until ten at the latest.
This time, however, she slept until 2 p.m., sleeping for ten hours straight.
"He Qingzhao." She woke up and saw no one in bed. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and subconsciously called out to He Qingzhao.
He Qingzhao pushed open the bedroom door and entered, holding a glass of water in her hand.
"Drink some water first."
Just as Cheng Jiamo took the water glass, her phone, which was on the bedside desk, rang with a message notification.
She took a sip of water, put down the glass, and picked up her phone to unlock the screen.
There were many messages, including group messages and messages from roommates. Among the jumbled messages, there was one message that Cheng Jiahe had just sent.
H&M: [Are you awake?]
Cheng Jiamo was about to reply to the message when she looked up and saw He Qingzhao standing next to her, looking at her.
She felt inexplicably guilty and, like a thief, turned her phone upside down on the bed.
He Qingzhao narrowed his eyes, smiled, picked up her phone, unlocked it by pinching her thumb, and handed the phone to her.
"Reply to the message."
Cheng Jiamo said, "I'm a high school classmate, but we don't keep in touch much."
He Qingzhao curled one corner of his mouth, with a hint of roguishness: "Oh? Is that so?" He stretched out his slender index finger and tapped her phone screen, "We don't usually contact each other much, but you sent me a 60-second voice message at two in the morning."
Cheng Jiamo: "..."
Just as she was about to delete it, He Qingzhao swiped her index finger and tapped to play the audio.
White Moonlight
In my heart...
Startled, Cheng Jiamo quickly clicked the stop button again, stammering as she explained, "That, it's just...last night..."
Faced with He Qingzhao's mocking smile, she suddenly fell silent.
"Why did you stop talking?" He Qingzhao asked.
"There's nothing to say." Cheng Jiamo lowered her head. "I was just chatting with my classmate. There's no need to explain to you."
He Qingzhao snatched her phone with a stern face and pressed play.
After the video finished playing, he tossed his phone onto the bed, leaned over, and asked her, "Did he sing better, or did I sing better?"
Cheng Jiamo remained silent; she didn't want to answer such a pointless question.
He Qingzhao held her neck, looking at her with deep eyes, and gently rubbed her lips with his thumb.
"Who exactly is your white moonlight, hmm?"
Cheng Jiamo never expected him to ask such a question. At this moment, she clearly realized that He Qingzhao only had physical desire and possessiveness towards her, not true love.
That makes sense. How could someone like He Qingzhao, who stands at the top of the power pyramid, possibly like her?
“Nobody.” She tilted her head back and smiled. “I was just kidding. I don’t actually have a white moonlight.”
He Qingzhao lowered his head and bit her lip, drawing blood and sucking it, kissing her fiercely.
Cheng Jiamo's lips were bitten and sucked painfully by him, causing her both pain and numbness. She was so angry that she pushed him away forcefully.
He Qingzhao pressed his forehead against hers, panting, "Momo, I need to hear the right answer."
Cheng Jiamo glared at him angrily: "What I just said is the correct answer."
He Qingzhao pressed his thumb against her swollen lips: "That's not the right answer I want. Say it again."
Cheng Jiamo stubbornly turned her face away: "I won't tell!"
He Qingzhao ripped off his tie and wrapped it around her wrist: "Then I'll do whatever you say."
[Author's Note]
"White Moonlight" - a song by Jeff Chang.
The road is too long
Unable to win back forgiveness
You are me
Unspeakable wounds
Want to forget
I couldn't help but recall it again.
This can be considered Boss He's verdict.
Boss He himself foreshadowed his own romantic fate in a song. [Very unhelpful]
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