Chapter 2
Jun Qingmo looked at the roof, his face expressionless, his eyes numb, and he was very calm.
"Go ahead, I have my own plans." Paralyzed in bed, unable to take care of himself, without dignity, living a life worse than a dog's. He didn't know why he chose to live.
What's the point of lingering on like this?
At first, he didn't believe that his father and mother, who had loved and spoiled him since he was a child, would give up on him, nor did he believe that his maternal grandparents would just ignore him.
Later, he was unwilling to accept that his legitimate son was still alive, and his father, the king, had asked his half-brother to take the throne of the crown prince in the name of "establishing a virtuous person".
He became famous at a young age, a man of extraordinary talent. After mourning for his biological mother, he passed the examinations to become a student, then a scholar, and finally a juren. In terms of status, he was the legitimate son, and in terms of talent, none of the brothers in the palace could compare to him.
He was just one step away from passing the imperial examination and becoming an official, but in the blink of an eye, everything was gone and he became a paralyzed man who could not take care of himself.
Now, what if he was unwilling? What if he didn't believe it? He was abandoned, a discarded child of the palace, a paralyzed person who could be bullied by everyone.
It's time to end it all.
"What are your plans, Second Young Master?"
"Please do as you please. Aren't you tired of laughing at me?" Jun Qingmo closed his eyes, looking unwilling to say anything more, with a distant and cold tone in his voice.
Zhang Yunniang looked at his lifeless and calm expression and found a stool to sit on.
She had no contact with Jun Qingmo, and she had never met or spoken to this boss formally in two years. However, Jun Qingmo had helped the original owner, which was equivalent to helping her.
"Your plan, your plan, isn't it just to die?"
"It's already like this. If you want to laugh, go ahead. I'm tired. When you've had enough, it's up to you."
Jun Qingmo was so desperate that he had no self-respect and no face left after his ugly thoughts were spoken out so bluntly. Was he still afraid to speak out?
Perhaps she was the last person he would see in his lifetime. It could be considered as someone coming to see him off. He shielded his sight with his sleeves, trying to retain the last bit of dignity.
"No one comes here now. If you die, what will happen to your body? There won't even be anyone to bury it."
"Oh," a low and weak mocking voice said, "I'm already dead, why should I bother with this dirty body?"
"It already stinks so badly now. I'm afraid it will stink even worse once the body rots."
"Oh, the stinkier the better." Jun Qingmo's face was hidden by the cloth, and he couldn't help but laugh loudly, "Let everyone in the capital see how smelly, dirty, and disgusting this palace is."
His voice came through the cloth, with the style of a mad Taoist priest, mocking him with a hint of relief.
Zhang Yunniang was choking and felt really uncomfortable. The smell in here was not only pungent, but also irritating to the eyes.
She left the bed, took off the black cloth on the window, opened all the windows, and the light from outside poured in. The darkness in the room was slowly replaced by brightness.
Realizing the bright light pouring in, Jun Qingmo's calm mood was broken. His lifeless tone turned into panic.
"No, no, close it, close it quickly."
"No, don't open it, don't open it." He buried his head in the pillow and hugged his head tightly with both hands.
He closed his eyes tightly and his body began to shake uncontrollably. He didn't want to see what he looked like now. He didn't want to see it.
"Who told you to open the window? Close it, close it quickly." Tears kept falling, and he buried his face deeply in the pillow and mattress, as if this way, all this would no longer exist.
He doesn't want to see the light, he doesn't want to be seen by others, he shouldn't be like this, he hasn't done anything wrong, why should he be treated like this, he hasn't done anything wrong to anyone.
"Please, please, why? Why? Close it, don't open it, ahhh, don't open it. Why are you doing this to me, why are you doing this to me, ahhh."
No matter how he curled up on the bed, Zhang Yunniang opened all the windows in the room. As the outside air came in, she felt her whole brain become clear.
She reached out to pull the person away, but Jun Qingmo covered his head tightly and didn't dare to let go. He was on the verge of collapse and kept shouting loudly.
"Don't cover it anymore. If you keep covering it, you'll suffocate to death."
She pulled hard, and Jun Qingmo, seeing the light, pushed her like crazy, his strength a bit too much due to his emotional outburst. Zhang Yunniang fell to the ground with a thud, and a sharp pain in her tailbone sent her into a state of panic. She almost blurted out the words "national quintessence".
Jun Qingmo used too much force and fell off the bed. Half of his body was on the bed, and his head and upper body were hanging underneath.
He was still yelling things like "close the window", "please", "get out of here", and he looked like a madman.
Zhang Yunniang ignored the pain, rubbed her buttocks, limped to her feet, supported the man's shoulders, and carried him back to bed. She was afraid that if she was late, the man would faint from a congested brain.
Jun Qingmo was helped back but he was still not well behaved. He kept dancing and slashing around like a madman, which made Zhang Yunniang very angry.
After two crisp slaps, Jun Qingmo seemed to regain some of his sanity.
"You're not being honest, are you? You want me to fall on my butt, right? I'll make you crazy, I'll make you crazy." He picked up the kettle on the table and poured it on his face.
Jun Qingmo stopped moving, and the shouting in his mouth became hoarse in his throat. Apart from the constant trembling, he finally calmed down.
"Why, why, why, you won't even give me this little dignity, you won't even give me this."
He curled up in bed, hugging his shoulders tightly, his head buried in his arms in an awkward position. He didn't want to face this. The couch was filthy, disgusting and embarrassing, and he couldn't help but retching.
Zhang Yunniang now saw the scene in the room clearly and felt a surge of pity in her heart.
She wanted to speak to this man gently, but he kept acting crazy, so she had to be stern.
"Open your eyes and look outside. Is anyone watching you? Is anyone watching you? Who are you trying to show off to?" Zhang Yunniang used her hands to turn his head towards the window, and Jun Qingmo had to look out the window.
He hadn't seen the outside world for a long time, nor had he left this room for a long time. He didn't dare look outside. He didn't want to see the ridicule, the contempt, the malice.
At first, he would go out with the help of his servants to take a look. But every time he went out, he could always hear the voices talking about him, those voices were like the whispering of mice, which gave him a headache and also made him feel sad.
Later, he asked people to close the doors and windows tightly, he wanted to isolate himself from all the evil. He liked to stay alone in his room.
The room had not been ventilated for a long time, and the odor in the room became stronger and stronger. The smell could not be removed from his body and clothes.
The more he couldn't go out, the more he locked himself up and became less and less popular.
"Look, outside there's the sky, the clouds, the sunshine. In the yard there are flowers, grass, and trees. Look carefully at what's outside the window?"
Jun Qingmo hid himself in the darkness and had not seen the sunlight for a long time, as if the lack of vision could numb his dry heart.
"Do you feel it? There's a breeze blowing over here, cool and soft, isn't it comfortable?"
The man's eyes, which had not seen the light for a long time, suddenly saw the sunlight and could not bear the stimulation. Rows of water drops slid down from the corners of his eyes. His eyes were sore and swollen, but he was reluctant to blink.
Looking at the scenery outside the window, Jun Qingmo stretched out his hand, feeling the touch of the wind blowing across his skin, and he cried silently.
Seeing him like this, Zhang Yunniang felt a little relieved.
"If you're tired, just lean back and rest for a while. I'll get some hot water and wash you up first. Then I'll change the sheets and quilt so you can have a comfortable sleep tonight."
"Don't you think I'm dirty?" The bed hadn't been cleaned for a long time. It was really dirty, very dirty. Jun Qingmo himself found it dirty. He didn't want to see these things, which made him more afraid of the light.
"Yes, it is dirty, very dirty, but this kind of dirt can be washed away, but some dirt cannot be washed away."
"This kind of dirt can be washed away." Jun Qingmo remembered this sentence.
Zhang Yunniang left. She remembered that Wencuiju was fully functional, with a small kitchen in the yard where she could boil water. She didn't like wandering around, and after walking around a lot, she knew the layout, so it was easy to find.
He went to the kitchen, took a general look, and took a large wooden bucket to fetch water from the well outside.
I drew water from the well bucket by bucket, and blisters soon formed on my hands.
Zhang Yunniang curled her lips. What do you mean by asking for trouble? This is what you mean by asking for trouble. She blew the blisters on her hands. "Hey, let's light the fire." She looked at the few potatoes in the basket over there. They've all sprouted. The kitchen here hasn't been used in who knows how long.
She was feeling a little hungry at the moment, so while the fire was burning, she found a scraper to peel the potatoes and soaked them in water.
After the cleaning is done, I guess there will be no food left in the big kitchen, so I'll have to make do with a meal here.
I looked around in the small kitchen and found half a bag of flour and some salt, which I could use to cook some noodles later.
Now that the water is boiled, it's time to start carrying water into the room. She hasn't done any heavy work for a long time, and after three trips she's exhausted and can only carry water in bucket by bucket.
She deliberately placed the bathtub next to the bed to make it easier for Jun Qingmo to get in. She threw the bucket aside, wiped the sweat from her forehead, and pointed at Jun Qingmo, "Okay, you can wash now, go in."
Jun Qingmo looked at her, and she looked at Jun Qingmo.
"What are you standing there for? Hurry up! The water will get cold soon. Is it easy for me to get this water? If you keep dawdling, do you expect me to boil a bucket for you? Aren't you the one who's tired?"
Seeing that the person didn't move, he went over and stripped off his outer clothes. Jun Qingmo felt like he was facing a great enemy and stretched out his hand to block it.
"Stop dithering. I didn't strip you all of them. You can take off the rest yourself when you get in."
"You do this, you ruin your reputation, you." Jun Qingmo's cheeks flushed, which was especially obvious on his pale face.
"To put it simply, it's you who's being looked at, not me. To put it more broadly, reputation, reputation is useless. Can it feed you or wear clothes? Or can it help you when you need help? Don't keep talking about useless things."
The thing that was most abundant in the yard was flowers. She also got some flower petals and sprinkled them into the bathtub to remove the odor and prevent people from exposing themselves and being accused of taking advantage of her.
He carried the man into the tub and had him take off his underwear. Jun Qingmo's legs were weak, so his clothes were easier to take off. However, his pants were soaked in water and took quite a while to pull off.
"You can't move your legs, but you can move your hands. Wash yourself well. Since it's inconvenient for you to wash your back and hair, I'll wash them for you."
Jun Qingmo's face flushed red. He didn't understand how this person could say such things so nonchalantly. His previous education, which taught him about propriety, righteousness, integrity, and the boundaries between men and women, left him feeling overwhelmed, embarrassed, and shy.
"Survival is more important than anything else. Boy, stop thinking too much." Zhang Yunniang forgot her composure for a moment and even forgot the respectful title.
Yes, what else does he have now? Can propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame help him? Can knowing etiquette and energy conservation help him?
The awkwardness in my heart slowly dissipated.
"Close your eyes. Let me wash your hair first. I'll make the bed after I'm done, or your bath will be wasted."
"good."
Washing someone's hair and bathing them wasn't unfamiliar to me. Back in the intensive care unit, scrubbing and assisting with patient care were common tasks. Distant memories slowly returned, reminiscent of how to care for patients.
She has taken care of so many patients, and being naked is common to her, so she doesn't feel embarrassed about it.
After washing the bed with swift hands and feet, he rolled up the quilt, mattress and other items on the bed into a ball and threw them out.
These things can no longer be used, so just burn them.
I went to the closet to find clean quilts, sheets, and pillowcases. There were quite a few of these things in the closet, but the person who had taken care of me before was too lazy to wash and change them.
After the room was ventilated, the smell inside was not as bad as before.
This side has been cleaned up and Jun Qingmo has almost finished washing.
It’s easy to get in, but how do you get out?
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