Chapter 123 His Obsession 3
Song Youning thought that the hug that night would at least bring some difference to their relationship, but she didn't expect Ji Siyun to choose to pretend nothing happened.
Even if she tried to bring it up again, he would just interrupt her casually: "You've had too much to drink. Don't drink anymore in the future."
She wanted to argue that she was not drunk at all, but Ji Siyun did not give her a chance. He either changed the subject or left in a hurry using work as an excuse.
Song Youning saw all of his evasion and alienation.
She didn't understand. If he really had no other feelings for her, why did his heart beat so violently like a drum under the chest that she pressed against him that night?
In a blink of an eye, Song Youning's eighteenth birthday arrived as scheduled.
The Song family held a grand coming-of-age ceremony for her. The banquet hall was buzzing with guests, offering compliments and well wishes. However, Song Youning, the center of attention, seemed somewhat absent-minded, her gaze frequently darting toward the banquet hall entrance.
It was not until the familiar tall figure appeared at the door that Song Youning's eyes lit up instantly, but the light only lasted for a moment, and suddenly went out when he saw the strange woman walking side by side with him.
Ji Siyun seemed to sense her gaze and looked up. When their eyes met, he clearly saw the fire that instantly ignited in her eyes, and the disappointment that followed.
Before he could react, Song Youning turned around abruptly, lifted her skirt, and quickly disappeared at the end of the spiral staircase.
"Mr. Ji, thank you for showing me the way." The woman next to him thanked him politely.
"You're welcome." He responded politely, looking a little absent-minded.
After thanking him, the woman left to meet her friends. Ji Siyun stood there, and the lost look in Song Youning's eyes before she left burned his heart.
He could almost imagine her locking herself in her room, biting her lip in frustration or shedding tears of anger. His heart tightened at the thought that she might be sad.
He should go upstairs and explain to her that she had misunderstood. The girl was just the daughter of his father's business partner, who happened to be going the same way, and his mother asked him to look after her.
Ji Siyun moved his feet unconsciously, then stopped immediately.
What should he explain? Should he say, "I have nothing to do with that girl, don't be angry"?
What does this sound like? Like a man clearing up a misunderstanding with his jealous girlfriend.
This realization instantly extinguished the impulse that had just arisen in him.
What right did he have to explain it from such a standpoint? And how could he comfort her?
Just as he was torn between his conscience and his desires, Song's mother's gentle voice rang out beside him: "Xiao Yun, what are you standing here in a daze for?"
Mother Song walked over with a smile and looked in the direction her adopted son had been looking absentmindedly. It was the empty staircase. She turned around and said, "Something urgent happened at the company and you had to come here. That girl Ningning will definitely make trouble for you again."
Ji Siyun calmed down and put on an impeccable smile: "Mom, it's okay, she won't."
Mother Song sighed and said, "I know her temper." Speaking of Song Youning, she began to look around, "Hey? Where's Ningning? Where did she go?"
Ji Siyun looked upstairs and said, "Maybe he thought it was too noisy downstairs and went to hide away for some quiet time."
Song's mother didn't doubt him. She sighed and said in a doting tone, "This child has been spoiled by us. Go and call her down. How can such an important moment be without her, the protagonist?"
Ji Siyun hurried upstairs. Song Youning's door was ajar. There was no light on inside. Only a faint glow from the banquet lights outside the window shone through.
He gently opened the door and called out, "Ningning?"
The room was silent and no one responded.
Ji Siyun walked in and was about to see if she was on the balcony or in the bathroom, but he heard a soft "click" behind him - the door was closed.
He turned around suddenly and saw Song Youning had walked out from behind the door at some point and was now leaning against the door panel, blocking the only exit.
Song Youning stood behind the door, her dress trailing on the ground. There was no expression on her face except for her eyes, which were astonishingly bright, as if they contained two clusters of faint flames, burning straight at him.
Ji Siyun forced himself to calm down and kept his voice steady: "Why are you here? The guests are waiting downstairs, and my parents asked me to come find you."
"We should go downstairs," he said, reaching for the door handle.
Song Youning didn't move, but pressed her body tighter against the door. Her eyes were fixed on him. The look was too bright and too direct, which made Ji Siyun flustered and he almost didn't dare to look at her.
"Jisiyun," she began, her voice especially clear in the silent room, "where's my gift?"
Ji Siyun's Adam's apple moved slightly, pretending not to understand what she meant: "The gifts are all downstairs, you can see them when you go downstairs."
"That's not what I want."
Song Youning took a step forward and stared at him, "You know what I want."
Her approach made Ji Siyun subconsciously take a half step back. Still trying to play dumb, he turned his head and said, "The guests are still waiting, we..."
His avoidance finally made Song Youning's long-accumulated resentment burst out. As anger overwhelmed her rationality, she suddenly opened her arms and hugged him tightly regardless of anything, burying her face in the front of his suit with a cold fragrance.
Her voice was low and muffled, but with the courage to burn her boats: "Ji Siyun, I like you."
Time seemed to be stretched out, and the faint noise of the party outside the window became distant and unreal. The only sounds left in the room were the intertwined breathing of the two people and the heartbeat in his chest that was almost breaking through his ribs.
The words that Ji Siyun was afraid to hear and had been secretly looking forward to for a long time finally penetrated all his self-deceiving disguises and lay naked in front of him, leaving him nowhere to escape.
He forced himself to squeeze out a stiff smile and said in the most relaxed tone possible: "You are still young and can't tell the difference between dependence and..."
"I can tell the difference!"
The person in his arms raised his head. His eyes were clear and brave without a trace of impurities or hesitation, which made Ji Siyun's heart tremble.
Song Youning hugged Ji Siyun, feeling his body stiffen instantly, his disordered heartbeat beside her ears, and she smiled at him.
Her clear eyes stared straight into his evasive eyes, and she confessed her feelings boldly and passionately, word by word.
"Jisyun, I like you."
"It's not a sister's love for her brother, it's a woman's love for a man."
"It's the love that wants to hold your hand, hug you, and stand by your side openly."
"I want to keep you all to myself, to make your eyes only stay on me, and I can't accept anyone else appearing beside you."
The girl's passion and sincerity made Ji Siyun feel that all his disguises and escapes were so unbearable.
His heart felt like it was being thrown into a world of ice and fire. Intense joy and equally intense pain tore at each other, nearly tearing him apart.
Every straightforward word Song Youning confided was also the most secret desire in his heart. The long-suppressed emotions resonated with her at this moment. Ji Siyun instinctively wanted to raise his hand and give her an equally tight hug in return.
Wanted to tell her that he was the same as her.
Just as he raised his arm slightly and his rationality was about to collapse——
"Ningning? Xiaoyun? Are you in there? Why don't you come down?" Song's mother's voice came from the corridor along with the sound of footsteps, getting closer and closer.
Song's mother's cry pulled Ji Siyun back from the edge of losing control. When he realized what he had just wanted to do, a strong sense of self-loathing surged in his heart.
Ji Siyun pushed her away suddenly with such force that Song Youning even staggered. She looked at him in shock, her eyes filled with disbelief, surprise and hurt.
Ji Siyun pinched his palms and stopped himself from holding her. His heart seemed to be tightly gripped. He quickly turned his face away, not daring to look at Song Youning's heartbreaking eyes.
Outside the door, Song's mother was already walking towards this side.
Ji Siyun quickly straightened his wrinkled suit, suppressed all the surging emotions, and said to Song Youning in a voice as calm as possible, even a little indifferent: "I will pretend that I didn't hear anything you said today. I am your brother, and I will always be just your brother."
After saying that, he stepped aside from her and reached for the door handle. Song Youning grabbed his hand at the same time, her tone full of confusion: "Why! You obviously also..."
"No reason!" Ji Siyun quickly interrupted her.
He didn't give her a chance to speak, opened the door and walked out quickly. Song's mother in the corridor saw him coming out of Song Youning's room and was a little surprised: "Xiao Yun? Did you find Ningning?"
Ji Siyun heard a small curse coming from behind him.
"Jisyun, you coward!"
Pinching his palms with his fingertips, Ji Siyun gave Song's mother an impeccable smile, his tone as calm as if nothing had happened: "I found it. She said she wanted to change into a skirt before going down."
Song's mother didn't doubt it, she smiled and said, "Oh, little girls love beauty like this."
She didn't move forward, but raised her voice to the room and said, "Ningning, change quickly. We'll be waiting for you downstairs to cut the cake."
The door was closed again, and Song Youning was the only one left in the room.
She stared at the closed door, her chest heaving violently.
The first time I confessed my love, not only was I rejected, but I was also pushed away like that. All the grievances and sadness eventually turned into a raging anger.
She clenched her fists, a fire of unwillingness to admit defeat burning in her beautiful eyes. She almost gritted her teeth and whispered to herself, "Okay! Ji Siyun! You forced me to do this!"
…
Ji Siyun had anticipated various possibilities: Song Youning refused to give up, or simply ignored him.
However, there was nothing.
At the breakfast table, Song Youning, dressed in a neat school uniform, sat across from him with a calm demeanor. Even when Ji Siyun couldn't help but remind her to "eat slowly," she raised her head, smiled at him with a perfectly natural smile, and replied crisply, "I know, brother."
She behaved normally, but Ji Siyun fell into a trance.
How long has it been since she called him that?
It seemed that she had never called him by this name since she was thirteen or fourteen years old.
Now, after he personally pushed her away and told her to "pretend nothing happened", she seemed to really obey and move back to where they should be.
Ji Siyun's throat tightened, and he mechanically responded with a vague syllable, then quickly lowered his head to hide the emotions surging in his eyes.
This was clearly the result he wanted, but why, when it really happened, did he feel so suffocatingly sad and lost?
Ji Siyun could only silently bear the bitter fruit that he had created with his own hands.
Song Youning's distance from him wasn't limited to addressing him. When Ji Siyun went to pick her up from school as usual, Song Youning politely declined, "Brother, don't bother sending me off today. Fang Jili and I have an appointment. His house is nearby. We can walk back together and discuss next week's class activities."
Her reasons were so convincing that no one could find fault with them.
All the words Ji Siyun had prepared were stuck in his throat.
He looked at Fang Jili, who was standing beside her with a shy smile, and the natural expression on Song Youning's face. Jealousy was like a poisonous snake, instantly tightening around his heart and almost making him lose control.
But he can't.
He could only force himself to pull out a somewhat stiff smile, his voice dry: "Okay, then...be careful."
He stood there until their figures disappeared around the corner of the street. Then, as if all his strength had been drained away, he leaned dejectedly against the car, his clenched fists white with knuckles.
Once upon a time, he thought he could keep his dirty thoughts locked away for the rest of his life, but after she revealed her true feelings, cracks had appeared in the dam he had worked so hard to build.
The words that Song Youning said, her hug, the look she once gave him that was so passionate and brave, were like the strongest fuel, completely awakening the ferocious beast called "possessiveness" in his heart.
It roared wildly in his heart, tearing at his sanity. He began to imagine uncontrollably that she would hold someone else's hand, smile shyly at someone else, and even... fall into someone else's arms in the future.
Every thought made him mad with jealousy.
He could only act like a despicable voyeur, playing the role of a perfect brother while greedily following her figure in a corner where no one could notice, suffering endless torment in his heart.
Ji Siyun originally still had a glimmer of hope, thinking that there were at least four years of college left, and he could still legitimately participate in her life in the name of family.
Until that evening.
He returned home a little earlier than usual, and the sound of conversation coming from the entrance and living room made him pause.
"Dad, I've thought about it carefully. I think changing the environment and getting exposed to a different education system will be beneficial to my future development."
"Well, your mother and I also support you going out and looking for a place to go. How are your application materials going?"
Ji Siyun could no longer hear what they said next.
Study abroad.
Ji Siyun could almost imagine that in the unfamiliar campus on the other side of the ocean, there would be more outstanding peers around her whom he could not control. And he would be completely isolated from her world.
For the first time, he realized so clearly that he might...really lose her. And he didn't even have the qualifications to reach out and hold her back.
Song Youning knew as soon as Ji Siyun came back. She waited for his reaction, but there was no sound. She looked up and saw his tall figure as if nailed there.
"Xiao Yun is back just in time," Song's father followed her gaze and waved with a smile at Ji Si Yun, who was stunned in place. "Come over and help your sister decide which of these schools is more suitable for her? I'm dizzy."
When Ji Siyun's eyes fell on the study abroad materials scattered on the coffee table and Song Youning's calm eyes looking at him, the blood color on his face seemed to fade a little.
His heart seemed to be gripped by an invisible hand, and dull pain accompanied by a panic that made it difficult to breathe instantly swept over him.
He forced the corners of his mouth, forcing out an extremely stiff smile, his voice a little dry: "Dad, I... I suddenly remembered that I have some urgent documents to deal with, so I'm going upstairs first. Wait... I'll come down later to check."
He didn't even dare to look at Song Youning again, and almost ran away, walking up the stairs with slightly messy steps, his back revealing an unprecedented embarrassment.
Father Song looked at his unusual behavior in surprise, shook his head, and muttered, "Why is this kid so irritable today?"
Song Youning didn't say anything, but just quietly watched his almost fleeing back. His slender fingers unconsciously clenched the school introduction in his hand. His eyes were deep, like a deep sea with undercurrents.
In the following days, the dust settled.
Song Youning quickly decided on the school she would eventually attend, and she was systematically preparing her visa and luggage. The departure date was drawing closer.
Ji Siyun tried to numb himself with endless busyness. He put almost all his energy into work, leaving early and returning late, and even frequently stayed at the company. When he was at home, he always locked himself in the study or room, trying his best to avoid any chance to be alone with Song Youning.
But the deepening fatigue and lingering gloom in his eyes revealed the chaos in his heart.
Until the night before Song Youning went abroad.
Ji Siyun remained locked in his room, staring blankly at a document he had been reading for a long time but hadn't absorbed a single word. The night outside the window was as dark as his current mood.
“Knock knock knock—”
Someone knocked on the bedroom door and Song Youning's voice came from outside.
"Brother, are you asleep?"
Ji Siyun, who was sitting at the desk, quickly stood up. Outside the door, Song Youning was wearing moon-white pajamas and holding a glass of milk in his hand.
The girl's eyes were slightly red, as if she had been crying.
Ji Siyun bent down a little nervously, his fingers trying to touch her red eyes but stopped awkwardly in mid-air.
"Ningning, what's wrong with you?"
Song Youning bit her lip, her expression pitiful: "Are you angry with me?"
Ji Siyun quickly explained: "I didn't." He was a little at a loss and kept asking her: "How could I be angry with you?"
Song Youning lowered his head and breathed through his nose, "Why has brother ignored me all this time?"
"Ningning, I'm just too busy with work." Seeing her depressed, Ji Siyun felt his heart ache. He coaxed her softly, "I'm not ignoring you."
"Really?" She lowered her head and looked at her feet. "I thought you were angry because I didn't tell you that I was going to study abroad."
Her guess was actually correct, but Ji Siyun was not angry, but scared.
She handed the milk in her hand to Ji Siyun, "Brother, you won't be angry with me, right?"
"Brother, drink milk."
The delicate girl's way of apologizing was also awkward. Ji Siyun took the glass, his Adam's apple sliding up and down, and he said, "No." Then he drank the glass of milk under her gaze.
"No matter what I do, my brother won't be angry with me?"
Song Youning's eyes were unusually bright.
"No." Ji Siyun smiled gently and shook his head, "I will never be angry with Ningning..."
As Ji Siyun was speaking, his body suddenly seemed to have lost its strength. He became limp all over and couldn't even stand steadily. He fell towards Song Youning.
"Brother, you are so heavy."
The girl held him up and complained coquettishly.
She held his waist and walked into the room.
She locked the door.
When Ji Siyun was thrown onto the bed by her, he said to her apologetically: "Ningning, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to me all of a sudden."
"It's okay, brother." Song Youning's smile was a little dangerous.
She bent down and brushed away the strands of hair from his forehead.
"Brother, are you feeling powerless and unable to move?"
Ji Siyun frowned in confusion, "How do you know..."
Her beautifully curved almond eyes curved up, she gently stroked Ji Siyun's cheek and smiled sweetly at him.
"Because I was the one who drugged your brother. It was in the glass of milk you just drank."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
