Chapter 20: Sniffing the Green Plum (3) Don’t leave me, I can’t live without…
"Lu Guanque, what's wrong with you?"
Meng Xuanli suddenly sensed something was wrong and reluctantly turned around, feeling his wrist with his thumb. His pulse was still a little weak, but not as frantic and frightening as it had been a moment ago.
"Nothing." Lu Guanque seemed to be suppressing the pain. "Are you... worried about me?"
Meng Xuanli blurted out: "No."
Lu Guanque still had his arms around her, like a poisonous snake lurking in the spring sun. His voice was gentle, but his eyes could scare people to death.
Meng Xuanli's heart felt as if it were sinking into the clouds, a mixture of softness and terror. She reached out and touched his cheek, feeling it burning hot.
She pulled away slightly and whispered, "You have a fever."
Looking up, she saw that he had his eyes closed and his brows furrowed, breathing with difficulty. Meng Xuanli struggled to take off his slightly damp robe, carefully placed it aside, and quietly got off the bed.
Soon, she brought the medicine and carefully fed it to him.
Lu Guanque fell into a deep sleep. Meng Xuanli sat alone on the edge of the bed, looking at his sick face, and whispered softly: "Lu Guanque, why did you go to look for me like that..."
"It caused a huge uproar in the city."
"Now I'm caught in the rain and cold, and my heart and chest hurt, and I have a high fever. It's really not worth it."
Lu Guanque muttered in his dream: "Ali..."
Meng Xuanli leaned over and put his ear close to you: "Where do you feel uncomfortable?"
Lu Guanque felt a splitting headache, and his fingertips unconsciously rubbed her earlobe. He once again held her in his arms, his voice hoarse: "Don't go..."
Even though he is sick, he still has so much strength.
Meng Xuanli could barely breathe and pushed him, "Let go! I just came in from outside and I'm freezing. Don't pass it on to you anymore."
Lu Guanque held his arms tighter.
His hot breath fluttered beside her ears. As she struggled, Meng Xuanli suddenly heard him murmur in a low voice: "...Ali, I love you."
Meng Xuanli suddenly froze.
She had never heard such words before. On the contrary, from childhood to adulthood, the only thing that kept echoing in her ears was—
Because of you, your mother lost her life. Because of you, your father abandoned you to Xuzhou. Who could truly love someone like you?
His heart was beating wildly, and Meng Xuanli suddenly realized that he had heard these heart-piercing words for so long that he actually believed them to be true.
Her heart was suspended in the air by a silk thread, swinging slowly and unable to stop.
I don't know when, tears fell, and my palm suddenly felt heavy, and an exquisitely woven heart-shaped knot appeared.
She suddenly came back to her senses. Lu Guanque held her hands together and pleaded, "Don't leave me..."
"Lu Guanque, I..." Meng Xuanli's eyes were blurred and his throat was choked with sobs.
When she agreed to the marriage, she never thought about the love she would receive, let alone the feelings she would develop.
But at this moment, he said that he loved her...
Tears streamed down Lu Guanque's cheeks, and Meng Xuanli wiped them away hastily: "You're delirious from the fever, and you're talking nonsense."
Her sanity was like clay tiles, crumbling and breaking inch by inch. She couldn't tell whether he was confused or she was confused.
Lu Guanque murmured, running his fingers through her scattered hair, "I'm not talking nonsense. What I said... is from the heart."
"Don't leave me. I can't live without you."
When Meng Xuanli heard this, his nose felt sore and his throat tightened, as if he was trapped in a jar of sugar, feeling sickly sweet.
"Ali..." he called softly in a trembling voice.
She didn't know when it started, but she seemed unable to resist him anymore, whether it was sleeping on the same bed, hugging, or kissing... as long as he got close, she couldn't help but respond.
Even though she was still a little scared.
Is this love?
Probably, she thought.
Meng Xuanli raised her head slightly, her eyelashes fluttering, and said softly, "I won't leave you."
Lu Guanque's knuckles trembled uncontrollably when he heard this. He closed his eyes, then let go and fumbled to tie the heart knot around her waist.
Meng Xuanli felt itchy in his waist and abdomen, and thinking that he was still sick, he simply took it and put it on himself.
She leaned over, pressed her lips against his hot cheek, and kissed him softly: "Go to sleep, I'll stay with you."
The rain outside the window was pounding, and the room was dark, with no sunlight visible. The curtains fluttered slightly as the two embraced each other, falling into a deep sleep.
*
The next morning.
Meng Xuanli lay on the bed, feeling a splitting headache. He asked groggily, "What's wrong with me?"
Lu Guanque paused, then gently pulled her closer, a hint of a smile on his lips: "You caught a cold."
Meng Xuanli pressed her cheek against his outer robe and muttered, "It's all because of you."
Lu Guanque understood and said no more.
He brought her the medicine, carefully fed it to her, and cast his honey net. "A-Li, you've repeatedly saved me and helped me in times of crisis. Was it out of love for me, or... are you just like this to everyone?" Meng Xuanli pursed her lips, her face slightly raised, and met his dark, deep eyes. She stared for a long moment, and in a trance, she seemed to see the cruel and animalistic nature of his attack.
Lu Guanque suddenly showed a gentle smile. Meng Xuanli blinked and felt that he was dazzled.
How could Lu Guanque be that kind of person when he was sober?
Absolutely not.
After a moment, she cleared her throat and replied softly, "It used to be the latter, but... now it's the former."
Lu Guanque's breathing was trembling, as if he was a dying man, and he grabbed the rope thrown by the people in the boat.
It turns out that everything that happened last night was not a dream.
The autumn rain had not yet stopped, and a cold wind blew through the window, making his chest feel hot and stuffy. His voice tightened slightly as he asked carefully, "Who was that Su He yesterday?"
Meng Xuanli hesitated for a moment and asked, "How did the prince know Su He?"
He hugged her tightly and said, "When I entered the hall, I caught a glimpse of the name on the tablet."
"Is he an old friend?"
Meng Xuanli hadn't expected him to be curious about Su He, so he said slowly, "He's an old friend of mine. He's well-versed in medicine and has a kind disposition. When I was a kid, he often helped me diagnose my illnesses. Gradually, we became familiar with each other. Later, we almost..."
"Almost what?" Lu Guanque's eyes were filled with undercurrents.
"Nothing...nothing." She paused, then put her arms around his waist and said in a muffled voice, "Later, a fire took his life."
"It's just bad luck."
Lu Guanque's face was hidden in the shadows, his expression strange yet peaceful, and his voice was unfathomable: "With such a deep friendship, Ah Li should visit Changsheng Temple more often and burn more incense for him."
"You..." Meng Xuanli's eyes were a little hot, and she hugged him tighter, "Thank you."
Lu Guanque patted her back gently, signaling her to be at ease. But after hearing those words, his heart fell directly into the bronze furnace, burning to the point of melting.
He carried her back to the bed, leaned over and kissed her forehead: "Sleep a little longer, I'll be here until you wake up."
Perhaps it was the effect of the medicine, Meng Xuanli felt dizzy, pulled up the quilt, turned around, and responded softly.
*
Before the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Pan family handed Meng Xuanli an invitation to their grandson's full-moon banquet. On the day of the feast, Lu Guanque was detained at the palace due to urgent matters, so Meng Xuanli went to the Pan residence alone with the gifts.
When Meng Xiuyu saw her coming, she looked hesitant and confused, so she simply found an excuse and invited Meng Xuanli to the pavilion in the back garden.
"You just recovered from your illness, what are you doing here?"
Meng Xuanli was slightly startled. She hadn't expected Meng Xiuyu to care about her. She brushed her sleeves and sat down on the stone bench. "Eldest sister, do you sound concerned about me?"
"No." Meng Xiuyu denied it flatly.
Meng Xuanli knew what she would say: "My eldest sister's mother-in-law sent me three or four invitations in a row. I have no choice but to come. Besides, I haven't met my nephew and niece yet."
Meng Xiuyu was stunned and murmured, "How do you know Jiahe..."
"I know what the Pan family is like, and my eldest sister knows it better than me." Meng Xuanli pursed his lips and whispered, "The Pan family deliberately keeps Jiahe secret from outsiders, and my eldest sister must be feeling uncomfortable."
"How is Lu Guanque doing now?"
"ah?"
Meng Xuanli was caught off guard by her question and was stunned for a moment: "It's a little better than before, but I still take medicine all the time."
"I heard that when you went to Changsheng Temple that day, he thought you were missing and searched for you in the rain for a long time. Is that true?"
Meng Xuanli smiled awkwardly and nodded.
Meng Xiuyu seemed relieved and said softly, "It's better this way, so I don't have to feel sorry for you." After that, she stood up and was about to leave.
"elder sister."
Meng Xuanli stood up, looked at her back, and whispered, "You asked me a lot, what about you?"
"Me? I'm fine. After you finish your meal, go back early."
Seeing that she was still about to leave, Meng Xuanli stepped forward quickly and blocked her way: "Are you really okay?" As she spoke, she raised her eyes and saw some tears on Meng Xiuyu's face.
Meng Xuanli bit her lip, took out a handkerchief, and carefully wiped her: "Then what is this?"
"The wind was so strong that I was blinded."
Meng Xiuyu pushed her hand away and turned away: "You saw it wrong."
"Did you misunderstand?" Meng Xuanli's eyes narrowed slightly, and he pulled her to sit down. "Eldest sister, are you still in love with your brother-in-law?"
Hearing about Pan Silang, Meng Xiuyu shook her head and asked in confusion, "Why are you asking this?"
"If the eldest sister doesn't have her brother-in-law in her heart, then let's get a divorce."
"Divorce?" Meng Xiuyu scoffed, "You say that so easily..."
"Do you understand what love is? Can love be separated at any time?"
Meng Xuanli was speechless after hearing this. She really didn't understand, but with the Pan family in such a state, wasn't divorce the best solution?
"You don't know the pain unless you experience it yourself." Meng Xiuyu said lightly when she saw that she didn't say anything.
The two sisters were in a stalemate when a little maid came from the east, hurried over, and whispered, "Madam, the mistress wants you to go to the main hall. She said she has something important to discuss."
Meng Xiuyu asked impatiently: "What's the matter?"
"It's a big deal, so Madam has to go in person."
"Big deal?" Meng Xiuyu thought for a moment and said, "Go and tell them I'll be there in a moment."
"yes."
After sending the maid away, Meng Xiuyu's gaze fell on Meng Xuanli again: "Don't worry about my affairs, I have my own ways."
"What solution?" Meng Xuanli really couldn't think of a better solution than divorce.
Meng Xiuyu frowned. "You've always been smart, and you're even better than me at dealing with people. How come you're completely clueless about relationships?"
Seeing that she was still confused, Meng Xiuyu said earnestly, "What if, and I mean what if. You and Lu Guanque were in love with each other, and suddenly one day, you found out that he broke his promise, lied to you, betrayed you, and even wanted to imprison you. Would you immediately divorce him?"
Meng Xuanli thought for a moment and said firmly, "No."
"That's it."
"I'll kill him and then fake my own death to get away."
As soon as these words came out, Meng Xiuyu stood up in shock, eyes wide open, and said in disbelief: "You...you are even more..."
"You've been married for so long, and you can say these things... You don't have any feelings for him at all?"
Meng Xuanli shook her head and sighed softly, "Eldest sister, you're talking about hypothetical situations. Besides, he won't lie to me, betray me, or even imprison me. None of what I've said will happen. I'm just afraid of you, afraid that you'll hurt yourself."
Meng Xiuyu breathed a sigh of relief and raised an eyebrow at her: "When have you ever seen me suffer a loss?"
Meng Xuanli curled his lips and nodded: "That's true."
Meng Xiuyu was impulsive in everything she did, always caring about face and suffering, never considering the consequences, only seeking her own happiness. Now it seemed that she had been worrying too much.
"After today's banquet, you can leave later... I will take you to see Jiahe. She looks exactly like you when you were a child." Meng Xiuyu turned his back to her and left only these words.
Meng Xuanli propped up his chin, thinking back to his youth. Back then, Meng Xiuyu would visit her grandmother in Xuzhou during the summer and always frighten him. Later, when she returned to Dongdu, although she stopped frightening him, she began to "coerce and bribe" him.
She was only good at talking, but in reality, she never hurt herself.
*
The banquet is over.
When Meng Xuanli heard that Meng Xiuyu was still busy, he went to the pond in the back garden, thinking that he would go to see Jiahe with her after she was done.
In the evening, the autumn wind blew, lifting her skirt and making her feel a little cold.
In the pond, the remaining lotus leaves are withered, black and green. From a distance, they don’t look like they were blown down by the wind, but rather like they have rotted and died.
Meng Xuanli was sitting idly by the side when she suddenly felt playful. She put down her fan, lifted her skirt, and slowly walked towards the water's edge. Seeing that no one was around, she bravely squatted down, picked up stones, and prepared to play skipping.
She was so engrossed in the game when she suddenly saw a very faint human figure reflected on the water surface. She turned her head in surprise and recognized that it was Wei Yuan, Marquis of Lin'an.
She quickly hid the stone in her sleeve and smiled awkwardly, "Why is the Marquis here?"
"Miss Meng can be here, why can't I be here?" Wei Yuan sat in the pavilion, picked up her fan, and waved it gently, "This fan is quite exquisite."
"You...that's mine."
Meng Xuanli simply sneered at such a bad and frivolous person.
"It's mine now." Wei Yuan fanned himself leisurely and poured two more cups of hot tea. "Miss Meng, you must be tired after playing for so long. Why don't you have a cup of tea with me and take a rest?"
Meng Xuanli remained silent with a cold expression, sitting where she was. Wei Yuan smiled and casually asked, "Miss Meng, are you not having enough fun?"
Meng Xuanli threw a few stones into the teacup and said nothing: "Xuanli has something to do, so I'll go first." After saying that, she was about to get up.
"Wait." Wei Yuan glanced at her. "How much nonsense have you heard? Do you have such a deep prejudice against me? You won't even let me drink a cup of tea?"
Meng Xuanli hadn't wanted to explain, but hearing his confusion, she turned around and chuckled, "The first time the Marquis saw me, he mistook me for his deceased wife and hugged me without explanation. The second time he saw me, he directly snatched my fan away. If this isn't frivolous, what is this?"
"I never care about these things. I only care about what I like, what I like, and what I think is good." Wei Yuan did not think he was wrong. "Similarly, if I don't like something, I won't even look at it or pay attention to it."
Meng Xuanli almost laughed, but still maintained his composure: "It seems that the Marquis has quite a few people close to him."
Wei Yuan was stunned for a moment, then smiled at her and said, "You are different from them."
The water in the pond rippled in circles, one after another, reflecting the figures of the two people who were unable to communicate.
Meng Xuanli frowned, looking at him as if he were a madman: "My Lord, don't forget, I'm not Zheng Min, I'm Meng Xuanli, and I've already married."
"It's not Minmin, so what?" Wei Yuan smiled. "She looks like Minmin and has a similar personality. That's enough."
"As for getting married, I'll wait for Lu Guanque to die. If he doesn't die within a year, I'll kill him and marry you in style. What do you think?" Wei Yuan smiled as he saw her eyes widen. "Why? Do you hate me?"
"Hate is love, love is hate. Could it be that you have already fallen in love with me?"
Meng Xuanli breathed rapidly, walked straight over, picked up the teacup with one hand, and poured it at him resolutely.
Cold stones and hot tea fell from above, but Wei Yuan was not angry at all. He just shook his outer robe and said, "You are worthy of being the one I like. Well done."
"If you dare to do such evil, you will be punished by heaven."
Meng Xuanli's emotions were intense. He swallowed hard, forced himself to calm down, and poked at his sore spot: "Does the Marquis know why Zheng Min left you?"
Hearing the words "Zheng Min left," Wei Yuan's face darkened, as if he felt pain. He spoke slowly, "Why?"
"Because people like you unscrupulously trample on the dignity of others in order to satisfy your own selfish desires."
After hearing this, Wei Yuan froze for a moment, then sneered: "Someone like me?"
"Then tell me, what kind of person am I?"
Meng Xuanli recalled his conversation with Meng Xiuyu and the anecdote Lu Guanque had told him. He said bluntly, "It's hard for me to tell who you are. But judging by what you've done, you're a despicable person who never cares about others' wishes."
"Did Zheng Min truly marry the Marquis? And did the Marquis's concubines all come into the mansion willingly? You're just using your power to coerce and bribe them."
Wei Yuan sneered, "Despicable? Coercion and bribery? Do you think Lu Guanque is a good person?"
"Whether he is a good man or not, I know for myself. You don't need to worry about me, my Lord."
He actually protects Lu Guanque so much?
Wei Yuan seemed to have found a loophole and said quietly, "So you care about him so much. If I had known this, I should have kidnapped you the first time I saw you, made you lose your memory, and hidden you in my house, making it impossible for him to find you."
"You dare!"
"It seems like your feelings are truly deep." Wei Yuan straightened the scattered stones one by one and said with a smile, "You trust him so much, why don't you trust me?"
"Don't forget, his body won't last for a few more years. Instead of being a widow, you might as well follow me now. I will immediately dismiss everyone in the backyard, make you my legal wife, and treat you well forever, even better than he does."
"how?"
“…”
Wei Yuan saw her frown and hurried forward. The moment he touched her sleeve, Meng Xuanli bent down slightly, suppressing the tightness in her heart and quietly stepped back: "Don't come over..."
The autumn wind blew through the empty air. Suddenly, a funeral bell rang from the corner tower. Meng Xuanli didn’t know for whom it was tolling. [1]
The bell stopped ringing, and she retreated to the moon-shaped gate. Seeing a shadow in the darkness, she froze in her tracks.
"Ali, I've been looking for you for so long."
The author has something to say:
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References
[1] This quotes and integrates the image of the “death knell” in ancient Chinese tradition with John Donne’s “Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.”
[Next book opens]
●Fake lady, real cunt, little fox vs. abstinent high mountain flower
●Summarize in one sentence: I don’t want to be your sister-in-law, I want to be your woman QAQ
●Copywriting
In order to pay off their debts, the Wen family married Wen Yaoguang to the tablet of Master Xie Wu.
On the day she entered the mansion, she acted as a meek new widow, but her eyes were quietly entangled with the figure outside the window——
That was Xie Xuanyu, the third master of the Xie family. He was in a high position and had great power. He was the bright moon in the clouds that the world looked up to and the most respected person in the family.
It was also the existence that she fell in love with at first sight.
To get closer to him, her fingertips "accidentally" slid across his wrist bone, her breath "panicked" brushed across his neck, and her eyes were filled with silent entanglement.
But after repeated attempts, Xie Xuanyu remained indifferent.
Until that night, the Buddhist temple was filled with the faint scent of sandalwood.
She pretended to be drunk and fainted in his arms, her fingertips brushing his tense jaw: "Third brother...you will be Yaoyao's husband."
The man did not move away from her. In the moment of distraction, he recalled the absurdity of that day.
She was secretly delighted, and so she became bolder and more presumptuous, wrapping herself around him like a vine.
until--
She learned that he was going to marry a girl from the Wang family and kick her out of the house.
Wen Yaoguang was shocked to realize that all those indulgences and absent-mindedness were just his way of lowering his eyes, teasing her and feeling sorry for her.
That night, she took the silver, erased all traces, and disappeared completely.
A few months later, Qiantang River was shrouded in mist and the West Lake was shimmering.
Wen Yaoguang hid his identity, listened to operas and admired flowers, and lived a happy and idle life.
Unexpectedly, before the music on the stage had faded, a familiar cold fragrance pressed her hard against the cabin wall.
Xie Xuanyu's palms tightened around her struggling waist, his breath hot and his voice hoarse: "I've been looking for you, turning Jinling upside down."
"Sister-in-law, where is the Third Master? Have you seen him?" Outside the cabin, the footsteps of a group of people suddenly came.
Wen Yaoguang refused in panic.
Xie Xuanyu chuckled and pinched her jaw: "Are you scared now?"
"That's all the courage you have," he leaned over, his breath scorching.
"How dare you play tricks on me back then?"
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