Chapter 44: Walking Again (2) Return to Beijing.
Meng Xuanli's white clothes were spread out, her snow-white body was translucent pink, and her brows were tightly furrowed.
From beginning to end, neither of them spoke, just floating quietly, as if in the rain, or in tears.
The sun was setting in the west, casting a rouge-colored mist over the courtyard. Meng Xuanli closed her eyes and leaned against his neck, feeling the coolness on her back. Her breathing slowed, "Lu Guanque, put me down."
Their hearts are very close in the secular sense, but Meng Xuanli knows that they can never go back to the way they were before, even though they are now closely connected and entangled with each other.
"It's not enough." Lu Guanque lowered his brows and asked her, "Why are you not opening your eyes? What are you afraid of?"
Meng Xuanli pulled away, slowly opened his eyes, and lowered his gaze to look at the rosy, flowing beauty: "I'm not afraid."
Lu Guanque lifted her chin with one finger, endured the sucking, and said in a low voice: "You should be looking at me, not this."
As he spoke, he exerted force. Meng Xuanli's eyes burned, and she almost cried. She bit her lip and stared at Lu Guanque, refusing to make a sound.
Suddenly, Lu Guanque pressed against her forehead with subtle force, and a thin layer of sweat appeared on her forehead. "If you are not feeling well, why don't you speak?"
"Um?"
Meng Xuanli's fingertips scratched his back, leaving some red marks. Her breath was like mist, and she exposed him: "You... did it on purpose." Lu Guanque's breath was full of her scent. He kissed her cheek and said proudly: "Last time in Lingnan, I said, remember this feeling."
Meng Xuanli's memory was distorted, and he suppressed his emotions, saying in a low voice, "So, you're so fast, and yet so slow... just to torture me... in every part of my body, to make me feel you... over and over again."
"How clever."
Lu Guanque seemed delighted. He kissed the corner of her lips and then looked into her eyes, not wanting to leave her for a moment.
The water roared, Meng Xuanli's hair was disheveled, her white hair floating, her lips shimmering red, her eyes filled with tears. She instinctively hugged him, her fangs pressed against his shoulder, she carefully opened her mouth, and bit hard, holding on for a long time.
"I'll bite you to death."
Lu Guanque felt her pain, and at the same time, his own pain. The double pain fell on him, subtly transforming into pleasure.
He wandered around, confused, and finally caught her in the end.
Meng Xuanli panicked, realizing what he was about to do. He loosened his teeth and said in a trembling voice, "Get out... Lu Guanque, you can't... you can't do this..."
Lu Guanque held her shaking shoulders and neck, letting her calm down, and said calmly: "Isn't it good to have my child?"
"She was born into a life of luxury, wealth and elegance, a life of comfort and comfort, enjoying our love."
His eyes were clearly black and white, but there was no emotion in them. Meng Xuanli looked into his eyes and saw his true face clearly.
She glared at him angrily, raised her hand and slapped him on the cheek, leaving a red mark that was a hundred times more brutal than the teeth marks on his shoulder.
"You're despicable! You said before that you wouldn't stay in there."
Seeing that she wanted to fan him again, Lu Guanque grabbed her waist, lifted her up, and made her sit sideways on his other leg.
He held her abdomen with one hand and fiddled with her back with the other. Soon, Lu Guanque shuddered and groaned, his hot breath spraying on her right neck and shoulder, and he suppressed a sigh.
Meng Xuanli was stunned for a moment, and found that the magma erupting from her back was slowly flowing along her spine all the way down.
After a moment, Lu Guanque wiped it with a clean handkerchief and said softly, "I will keep my word. What about you? You said you would never leave me again? Can you do it?"
Meng Xuanli's mind was filled with the flowing and turbid whiteness just now. Lu Guanque's words came like a broken string, and with a "clang" sound, it pulled her back to the deadlock.
She gave a vague answer: "Yes."
Lu Guanque noticed her back trembling slightly, so he pulled her clothes over and wrapped them around her upper body. He said slowly, but with a sense of satisfaction, "Okay, I believe you."
"If you can't do it, I can't do it either," he threatened her.
Meng Xuanli suddenly thought of something and glared at him sideways: "You didn't even want to stay in there. You were deliberately trying to scare me so that I would have no choice but to agree to your request."
Lu Guanque was struck by this and fell silent. Meng Xuanli pursed his lips, thinking that now that things had come to this, he should clean up the mess first, otherwise his mind and body would be in chaos.
It's really not worth it.
She said calmly, "I want to take a bath."
Lu Guanque's shoulders, neck, and back were covered with marks left by her. He wiped them briefly, picked her up with one hand, walked into the house, and laid her on the couch.
In a moment, Lu Guanque brought hot water, closed the doors and windows, and helped her bathe. Meng Xuanli sat in the water, closed her eyes, breathed slowly, and gradually fell asleep in a daze.
In the evening, Meng Xuanli slowly opened her eyes and, in a trance, saw the carved step-out bed and the navy blue curtains. She half closed her eyes, intending to sleep a little longer, but suddenly realized that this was not her room.
Meng Xuanli sat up with a thud, realizing the bedding was thick and soft, and her clothes had been changed. She shook her head in panic, threw back the bedding, and hurried out of bed.
As soon as I landed, the pain in my ankle was immediate.
"ah!"
She tripped over herself, her body huddled up, looking extremely embarrassed. Just as she was about to stand up, she heard steady footsteps and the sound of a door.
Lu Guanque came in and saw her lying on the ground. He guessed what she was thinking at a glance.
He squatted down, picked her up, patted her clothes, and said, "Why are you nervous? No one is watching you."
Meng Xuanli turned his head away and said, "That may not be the case. The Duke didn't even let me see the sun before. Who knows how he'll torture me when he returns."
Lu Guanque didn't reply to her. Instead, he sat on the armchair and hugged her: "Torture you?"
"Aren't you torturing me?"
Meng Xuanli smelled a scent of medicine and blood, frowned, and smiled slightly, "I tortured you?"
"Okay, since you said so, when I get back, I will torture you and your fate. When your fate is over, I can leave sooner."
Lu Guanque stared into her eyes without saying a word.
Meng Xuanli felt prickles all over her body as he stared at her. After a moment, she pushed him away. Lu Guanque placed her on a chair and said calmly, "I've sent someone to move your things. We'll go back the day after tomorrow."
Meng Xuanli shook his head slightly, reluctantly saying, "I still have things to take care of here. I'll be back in seven days."
Lu Guanque turned around, put his hands on her head, looked down at her, and squeezed out a sentence from between his teeth: "If you push me any further, I'll go back now."
Meng Xuanli tensed up, hugging her knees as she recalled the first time she was forced. She had met Wei Yuan at that time, and he had tied her wrists and ankles roughly. He had been so rude and unreasonable back home, treating her the same way.
Later, these feelings became more and more frequent, so much so that she had to hide, refute, and struggle. But now, she simply replied, "Whatever you want."
Lu Guanque gently stroked her hair, which was smooth to the touch, the lingering scent of his own washing. He knew she would be unhappy to hear such words, but he had no choice. This was the only way for him to always have her.
Meng Xuanli slowly raised his head and looked through the window lattice, watching the leaves in the courtyard fall in the wind. Only a single ginkgo tree, gleaming golden like the sun, hung there.
"The autumn in Yanjing is more beautiful than in Dongdu."
She has always loved things full of vitality, but she particularly loves autumn, perhaps because "the grass and trees are falling and withering," or perhaps because "I say autumn is better than spring."
In short, the answer is in her heart, but she can't make a choice.
Seeing her sitting there like this, Lu Guanque was already used to it. He came forward and said, "Shall I carry you out to take a look?"
Meng Xuanli met his eyes and saw fatigue and dryness. As their eyes met, she stretched out her arms expressionlessly. Lu Guanque hugged her, feeling the conflict in her heart.
#
The next day, Meng Xuanli came to Guangde Hall alone. Seeing her enter, Granny Liu became less attentive and more reserved: "Mrs. Li...Mrs. Meng, don't take what I said yesterday to heart. I also..."
Meng Xuanli didn't take it to heart: "I know what Granny Liu meant, but I have a secret that I can't explain. I hope Granny won't blame me."
"Don't blame me, don't blame me. My brother Lian came back yesterday and said you were a Duke..."
Seeing that Granny Liu wanted to continue speaking, Meng Xuanli smiled. The two looked at each other and ended the conversation knowing what was going on.
Meng Xuanli walked slowly through the front hall and into the back room. There was no one else inside. Mr. Chen was sitting at his desk, writing a prescription as usual.
Noticing Meng Xuanli's arrival, Chen Yuemian didn't even look up and asked, "I heard from Granny Liu that something happened at your house yesterday."
Meng Xuanli stepped forward and bowed, "Yes."
Chen Yumian stopped writing, looked up, and said after a moment, "Sit down first. Go back later and take this prescription. Apply it regularly, and your complexion will be better."
Meng Xuanli saw the words on her desk and whispered, "I didn't mean to deceive you, sir."
"Have you decided to go back?"
Chen Yuemian learned from Granny Liu that Li Xuan's real name was Meng Xuanli, and she was the wife of Duke Lu of Dongdu. For some unknown reason, she came to Yanjing, causing the Duke to chase after her.
"yes."
She hesitated for a moment and looked at Chen Yuemian. "I am able to stay in Guangde Hall because of your kindness, sir. If I leave now, it would be a betrayal. I cannot live up to your kindness."
Chen Yuemian smiled and sighed, "Since you have decided to go back, then go back." As she spoke, she took out a small white bottle from the small medicine cabinet and placed it on the table in front of Meng Xuanli.
"Take this, you'll need it later."
Meng Xuanli was stunned for a moment and stretched out her hand: "What is this?" As she said, she opened it and took a look, and found that it was just a few dark brown pills.
Chen Yuemian looked at her quietly, then stood up and said, "When the time is right, you will know."
"Sir..." Meng Xuanli said thoughtfully, "I came to see you today not only to say goodbye, but also to ask for some contraceptive pills."
Chen Yuemian stood in the light and shadow: "Follow me."
"Sir, aren't you surprised?" Meng Xuanli was surprised by her reaction.
"I understand your personality. If it's nothing serious, why would you travel all the way to Yanjing?" Chen Yuemian didn't ask her the specific reason.
Meng Xuanli bowed and said, "Thank you very much, sir."
The autumn in Yanjing was warm and gentle. The wind blew up Meng Xuanli's skirt, and she spun around in the light and shadow. Thinking she might never come here again, she didn't go back directly, but instead came to the edge of the Yu River.
There is no dock or washerwoman here. The river flows slowly. Meng Xuanli sits beside it, hiding a few medicine bottles in his sleeves.
When Lu Guanque found her, her back was lonely and desolate, blending in with the dead leaves on the other side of the river.
He stood tall and straight, slowly approaching, carefully squatting down, and draping his cloak over her. Meng Xuanli did not look back, nor did she struggle. She knew it was him, tacitly.
"How did you find this place?"
"I can find you wherever you are." Lu Guanque held her hand and said lightly, "Everything is arranged."
Meng Xuanli responded, "Yeah."
"Want to stay?" He sat next to her and looked at her deeply.
Meng Xuanli explained simply: "Whether you stay or not, the result will be the same."
Lu Guanque understood the hidden meaning: "If you go back with me, will the result be the same?"
Meng Xuanli turned his head to look at him and found that even the autumn light favored him. Reflected on his profile, there was a kind of divine and handsome beauty.
Her gaze was satisfied, she nodded, and said easily, "Yes."
Lu Guanque moved closer to her and caressed her cheek in the amber light: "What's the result?"
Meng Xuanli broke free from his grip, turned her head away, and continued to watch the ripples on the lake, smiling: "It's naturally a death-or-death outcome."
Lu Guanque remembered that her face was also so bright at the Mid-Autumn Festival banquet two years ago.
The difference was that her bright smile back then was natural and natural, but now, she was helpless and forced to smile.
He actually didn't care whether this brightness was fake or not. As long as she was by his side, he wouldn't be sad even if it was fake.
Lu Guanque put his arm around her shoulders, and said indulgently, "Ali is wrong. It's right that I am the only one who dies."
Meng Xuanli's vision was blurry and he remained silent.
#
On the way back to Dongdu, Lu Guanque had a high fever several times. Meng Xuanli looked at him indifferently and wanted to say that he brought it upon himself. But for some reason, she never said it.
A few days later, the carriage stopped steadily outside the gate of Puyuan. Lu Guanque held Meng Xuanli's hand, frowned slightly, and took a deep breath: "There is something I need to take care of. Don't run around at home."
Meng Xuanli wanted to laugh and asked what was going on, but due to exhaustion, she just said "hmm" and walked into Pu Garden with an umbrella, supported by her maid.
The rain poured down like a waterfall. Lu Guanque looked at Meng Xuanli's blurry back, recalling that she was wearing a rouge-colored jacket and skirt with a snow-white cloak on the outside. Her face was fair and she looked very quiet.
After staring for an unknown amount of time, Lu Guanque shook his head and said distractedly, "Go to the palace."
The palace was damp and cold, and raindrops dripped down the glazed tiles. Lu Guanque, holding an umbrella, walked through the palace corridor and came to the imperial study.
The emperor was writing with a red brush when he heard footsteps. He looked up and saw Lu Guanque, so he put the brush on the brush holder.
He stood up and said majestically, "I expected you to come today, but I didn't expect it to be so soon."
Lu Guanque brushed his sleeves and knelt, bowing respectfully: "Your Majesty, please withdraw your decision on the marriage."
Ever since Meng Xuanli left, his heart has been completely on her. He never expected that the emperor, for the sake of his reputation in the court, would announce to the public that Meng Xuanli was dead, and said that he had traveled to Yanjing to mourn Meng Xuanli.
Even...a marriage was arranged for him.
This is simply unreasonable.
The emperor emphasized, "General Zheng devoted his life to his country and has only one daughter, Zheng Wanruo. Miss Zheng has loved you since childhood. When she learned that you were getting married, she almost cried her eyes out."
"Now, I have announced to the public that Meng is dead. This will not only silence the gossips in the court, but will also fulfill Miss Zheng's wish. Even the Zheng family will be of benefit to your future career."
“Isn’t that the best of both worlds?”
Lu Guanque lay prostrate on the ground, veins bulging on his forehead, but his attitude remained calm. "I was wrong to insist on leaving the palace that day. But I have done my best to make amends for what has happened since then."
"Your Majesty has arranged a marriage for me without even giving me a heads up. Is this for my sake or for the court's struggle?"
The emperor stroked his jade ring, narrowed his eyes, and said in a low voice, "Guan Que, you are my cousin and a trusted official in the court. Now, for a woman, are you going to disobey and betray me?"
He walked up to Lu Guanque, paused, and said, "The people are hoping that General Zheng will quell the border crisis, not your personal feelings. If General Zheng is uneasy, it will be of no benefit to you, me, the court, or the country."
Lu Guanque's chest was pounding violently, his eyes watering. Suddenly, he abruptly stood up, his backhand grasping the hilt of his sword. The scabbard's ridges pierced his palm, and the blade pressed hard against his neck.
Lu Guanque gritted his teeth and said coldly, "I finally got her back, not to let you humiliate her!"
The emperor's body swayed, obviously not expecting Lu Guanque to commit suicide. He said in panic, "Put down the sword, and let's talk it over."
Lu Guanque's arm was numb, but he felt a burning sensation in his heart. "If Your Majesty insists on using your status as a minister to build ties between old and new ministers, then from today on, I, Lu Guanque, will no longer be the eldest princess's son, nor will I be..."
Before he could finish his words, hot blood surged from Lu Guanque's throat and spurted out.
He looked up in a trance, then fell heavily to the ground. He heard the exclamations of the emperor and the palace maids, just like what she said to him when she said goodbye to him that day - we will never see each other again in this life.
Did he never have the chance to see her?
But he had just found her.
Tears rolled down his eyes, and he felt a little worried about her.
#
The autumn rain brought a chill, and the sky was as dark as ink. Meng Xuanli lay in bed, curled up, unable to fall asleep. She sniffed, put on a robe, walked barefoot on the floor, and lit the candle on the kang table.
A faint red glow reflected on her face, and from a distance, it seemed to have a source of warmth. She relaxed, turned around, sat on the Luohan couch, and poured a cup of tea.
After a moment, the heat entered her throat and her body gradually warmed up. Even though her hands and feet were still a little cold, it was enough for her to fall asleep peacefully.
Meng Xuanli put down the teacup and blew out the candle. In the moment of darkness, he heard the sound of complex footsteps outside. Meng Xuanli subconsciously clenched his palms and, taking advantage of the dim light, turned his head to look at the window.
Several dark shadows were moving, quietly carrying a person into the study.
Meng Xuanli's mind moved slightly, as if he realized something. He quickly got dressed, held an umbrella, and walked quickly to the study in the wet rain.
Lu Guanque lay quietly on the couch, his face a bit hazy. She put down her umbrella, walked straight to his bedside, and asked the people around him, "Is he so ill?"
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The author has something to say: When writing this chapter, the background music is "Stone Path"
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