Jian Yuyan had long known that Yan Yiming was a woman smarter than he thought. No matter how calm he pretended to be, Yan Yiming still saw through the clues.
But even so, there were some things Jian Yuyan still couldn't tell her.
I can’t say, and I dare not say.
His life experience and his difficulties.
He must marry, and the choice of his wife will definitely have nothing to do with Yan Yiming.
For Jian Xiang, he had no reason to refuse. He had a responsibility and he could not refuse because he had to protect Yan Yiming.
For Yan Yiming, he had just promised her not long ago that he would take her back home and resolve everything, so he couldn't tell her now, fearing that she would be sad, upset and worried.
So now when Yan Yiming asked, Jian Yuyan was silent for a moment and then shook his head. After a while, he said with some guilt, "A Ming, I'm afraid the day I promised you to go to the Jian Mansion will be later again."
"Prime Minister Jian doesn't allow it?"
"……Um."
Yan Yiming looked into his eyes in the dark and said seriously, "Then wait until he agrees before going."
Jian Yuyan was stunned.
Yan Yiming smiled, and after a long while he said leisurely, "Everyone says that I was too impulsive and ruined this face, but I have never regretted it. Zi'an, do you know why?"
"Why?"
"I remember I once told you that if you can't follow your heart, then what's the point of living? Because of this scar, I got what I wanted, so I have no regrets. You and I are connected because of this face, but I don't want you to be with me because of this face. I want you to see clearly that I am me and she is her. You see clearly, and you still like me, so I have no regrets in this life."
Jian Yuyan's heart suddenly tightened, and he held her in his arms and said in a deep voice, "You still have a long life, don't say such things."
"I don't mean anything else." Yan Yiming pushed Jian Yuyan's chest to make himself more comfortable before continuing, "At the beginning, I didn't know whether you liked me or her, so I just wanted you to have a name with me. Now that I know you have me in your heart, it's not so important whether you want this name or not. There will always be times when people are caught in a dilemma and have a hard time in their lives, so when you can't keep both, you always have to make certain choices."
Jian Yuyan's heart suddenly tightened, and the hand holding Yan Yiming couldn't help but move.
No matter how smart Yan Yiming was, Jian Yuyan didn't think she could guess his dilemma and difficulty in making a decision, but Yan Yiming's words clearly seemed to have a hidden meaning.
Jian Yuyan raised his eyes to meet Yan Yiming's gaze and asked her, "You have to make a choice, but how should you make the choice?"
"I am a layman, so I only care about what I want in my heart," Yan Yiming sighed, "As long as I don't regret it when I think about it in the future, that's enough."
I never regretted it.
Isn't this exactly the question he has been thinking about for so many years but has never figured out?
No matter what his background was, he would always remember that the previous dynasty had been overthrown for decades. Now, the world is at peace, the country is prosperous, and the people live in peace. What the students talk about is the wisdom of the current emperor, but when it comes to the previous dynasty, there is endless ridicule and abuse. That was a tyrannical era.
Prime Minister Jian always said that the Nangong clan had evil ambitions, that Taizu raised an army to shake the country, and that the current emperor was not legitimate. They might not be good people, but they were all good emperors.
Jian Yuyan had forgotten when he had said these words to Prime Minister Jian. The usually kind Prime Minister Jian flew into a rage for the first time and pointed at him and cursed at him, saying that he was not doing justice to his dead ancestors by saying such words.
He said that the Nangong clan wiped out their entire family, he said that the blood of the royal family dyed the entire moat red, and now countless souls of the previous dynasty are buried under the entire Jinling city. How can you have the nerve to say such things when you stand on this land and look at the tablet of your biological father!
That night, Jian Yuyan dreamed of a fire burning the most beautiful glazed tiles in the capital, the roars of men, the screams of women, and the man in a yellow robe watching everything quietly, and finally being engulfed in the raging fire.
Only then did Jian Yuyan understand that some things were firmly ingrained in him since birth, becoming his responsibility and his destiny, and he could not escape them no matter what.
He has to make a choice. He cannot give up his fate, but he cannot give up Yan Yiming.
So Jian Yuyan finally agreed to the marriage. He couldn't escape or hide. He couldn't let Prime Minister Jian know that he was shaken by a woman. If Prime Minister Jian knew, even he would not be able to save Yan Yiming. But he never told Yan Yiming either. He didn't dare to imagine whether Yan Yiming would abandon him after knowing it.
Yan Yiming said that she had no regrets in her life, but he didn't.
There are only two possible outcomes in his life: either he fails and dies, not involving A Ming, lest A Ming suffer because of him; or he succeeds and becomes the best among everyone, with no one influencing his thoughts anymore. Then he will give her the best compensation.
Before that, he chose to remain silent.
There is a long way to go, and by then she will definitely understand his difficulties.
But he was worried that Prime Minister Jian would find out about Yan Yiming. He no longer dared to trust Jian Yuer. Jian Yuyan was not at ease leaving Yan Yiming in the Plum Garden. Besides, there were so many people in the Plum Garden, and who knows what Yan Yiming might know.
But Yan Yiming had previously stated that he would not leave Meiyuan, so Jian Yuyan had to think of an excuse to avoid Yan Yiming's suspicion.
However, he did not expect that one day after they went to the Plum Garden, Yan Yiming took the initiative to ask him if he could move out of the Plum Garden.
Jian Yuyan was pleasantly surprised, but he didn't rush to let her see anything. He asked her in a gentle voice why she suddenly wanted to leave.
Yan Yiming sat in front of the bronze mirror, stroking the scar on his face with his fingers and said slowly, "At first I thought I would have a chance to sing on stage once or twice, but now it is no longer possible. It is not in accordance with the rules to stay in the Plum Garden."
The little girl next to Yan Yiming interrupted, "The girl met Yu Mei today. Yu Mei saw the girl's face and made a lot of sneers..."
Yan Yiming signaled to the girl to shut up, but Jian Yuyan felt extremely distressed when he heard it. He always felt that Yan Yiming's face had a great relationship with himself. Yan Yiming was ridiculed because of his appearance. No matter how kind Jian Yuyan was to women, he now looked cold.
To him, redeeming Yan Yiming from the Plum Garden was just a few words. When the owner of the garden saw that Yan Yiming's face was ruined, he had already thought that Yan Yiming had no hope in his life, could no longer sing, and had no hope of following any nobleman in the future. But she didn't expect that Jian Yuyan would dote on Yan Yiming even more after her face was ruined, and now he wants to redeem her.
The owner of the garden could not help being shocked, but he did not dare to ask more questions. In the end, he could only watch Jian Yuyan and Yan Yiming leave in the carriage with the other equally shocked actors. Yu Mei's pretty face turned red with anger, "Master Jian must be blind..."
Before he finished speaking, the servant who had just left with Jian Yuyan came back again. The others immediately shut up. The owner asked him if he had forgotten anything. The servant glanced at Yumei and said, "The master said that Miss Yumei has worked so hard in the plum garden for so many years. Now it's time for her to take a rest."
This was said in a tactful way, but the meaning was clearly that Yu Mei was not allowed to go on stage again. Yu Mei's face had just turned red, but now it turned pale.
The owner was stunned for a long time and couldn't help asking why. The servant smiled and said, "Then you have to ask what Miss Yumei did."
Everyone looked at Yu Mei. The few people who had laughed at Yan Yiming with Yu Mei that day were so scared that they dared not say a word, for fear that they would be implicated again. Seeing Yu Mei crying like a tearful person, they stepped back and could not help but look in the direction where Yan Yiming left.
Master Jian really treats me like a treasure.
Yan Yiming's new residence was better than she had imagined. She had thought it was just a courtyard before, but now it looked clearly like a mansion. It was not too big, but it had everything, including a long corridor and a lake. There were only two masters, Yan Yiming and Jian Yuyan, inside, so it looked even more empty.
Yan Yiming likes the small bamboo forest in the back garden the most. There is a small bamboo house in it and running water. Staying there in the summer is both cool and poetic.
Jian Yuyan still came every day. He personally wrote words for the small bamboo house. The two of them sat in the bamboo forest playing chess, and put the wine jug in the running water to calm it down. When they took it out, it was cool and refreshing.
Yan Yiming lay on the soft couch and sighed, saying it was so comfortable here that he didn't want to go out after staying there for so long.
Jian Yuyan peeled a grape for her and said, "If you don't want to go out, then don't go out. It's summer now, and it may not be as comfortable outside as at home."
Yan Yiming glanced at him, with no clue on his face. He leaned over and bit the grape, chewing it slowly. "But if I don't go out, I'll be bored."
"I will come to accompany you every day," Jian Yuyan said, and after thinking for a moment, he smiled softly, "If you are really bored, let me know and I will go out with you."
Yan Yiming replied softly, covered her face with a veil, and fell asleep.
Jian Yuyan walked over slowly. Although it was midsummer, he was still afraid that she would catch a cold, so he picked her up and carried her back into the house, covering her with a thin quilt.
Prime Minister Jian and Madam Jian finally found a marriage for Jian Yuyan, the legitimate daughter of Marquis Dingbei. Madam Jian only thought that Marquis Dingbei had an excellent family background, but Jian Yuyan knew that Marquis Dingbei was in charge of the imperial guards in the capital and occasionally appeared in the secret room of the prime minister's study.
Mrs. Jian has been smiling from ear to ear every day since the marriage was announced. She would talk to Jian Yuer about this and that, but the more Jian Yuer listened, the more unsure she felt.
She always thought of the golden hairpin that the woman decisively placed on her face. How could such a strong-willed and resolute woman be indifferent to Jian Yuyan's marriage?
When she met Jian Yuyan at the mansion, Jian Yuer subconsciously wanted to avoid him, but she couldn't help but call him. After looking around to see if there was anyone around, she asked him in a low voice, "... Did she... know that my brother was going to get married?"
Jian Yuyan had never thought that Jian Yuer would ask about this, but perhaps because he had silently borne everything for the past twenty days and could not mention it to anyone, now that Jian Yuer asked Jian Yuyan, he paused for a moment and actually answered.
"She doesn't know."
Jian Yuer took a breath and asked, "Why don't you tell her?"
Jian Yuyan let out a long sigh of relief.
He is afraid.
He was afraid of the consequences after Yan Yiming found out, even though he didn't know what the consequences would be.
Jian Yuer stared at Jian Yuyan in a daze. Everyone was talking about the great joy, but Jian Yuyan didn't show any joy at all. She was so confused that she didn't know what to say. In the end, she could only whisper in a low voice, "But she will know."
Jian Yuyan felt as if a needle suddenly pierced his heart.
After a long time, he said, "I'll tell her."
After some time, when he can completely protect her, he will tell her all his secrets.
When I went to Yan Yiming's place in the evening, Yan Yiming was just combing her smooth long hair after taking a bath. Jian Yuyan sat on the bed and stared at her seriously. Yan Yiming saw his appearance in the mirror and chuckled, "It was okay to look at him before, but what's so good about it now?"
"It still looks good," Jian Yuyan said, turning over from the bed and skillfully taking a towel to help her wring out her hair.
Yan Yiming sat in front of the mirror and recited, "Holding my hand and combing my hair, I passed by with deep affection, but I left my hair around my front edge."
This poem clearly describes the scene when a husband combs his wife's hair. Jian Yuyan's heart suddenly surged with emotions. He put down the towel in his hand, hugged her from behind and whispered, "A Ming, let's get married."
He just wanted to marry her.
I just want to get married with her.
Yan Yiming's eyes flashed, he picked up a strand of black hair with his fingers, looked at it for a long time, and then nodded.
The two cups were clinked, and two pieces of black hair were cut from the hair and carefully tied up with red thread. Jian Yuyan carefully held the tied long hair in his hands as if he was holding something precious. In the end, Yan Yiming put it in the small cabinet beside the bed.
Jian Yuyan held her in his arms contentedly and called her name over and over again, and Yan Yiming patiently responded over and over again.
When she was about to fall asleep, she seemed to hear Jian Yuyan's low and affectionate voice. He said that no matter what happened, she must believe in him and believe that she was the only one he loved.
But in the end, she didn't hear Yan Yiming's answer because she had fallen asleep.
The eldest son of the Jian family, the ideal husband loved by so many girls in the capital, will eventually get married. Even though Jian Yuyan does not like to show off, he cannot hide it.
The little maids in the mansion heard people talking when they went out purchasing, and when they came back they kept chattering about it. The next day, these maids never appeared in the mansion again.
Yan Yiming asked Jiang Yi why there was a new person in the mansion, and Jian Yuyan said that maybe the maids did something wrong and were punished and sent out.
Yan Yiming responded without asking any further questions. He picked up the pen and continued to complete the portrait that had not been completed.
Jian Yuyan breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Yan Yiming painting seriously. When Guan Jia came to tell him about this in the morning, Jian Yuyan felt his heart was beating in his throat.
The wedding day is still early, but the engagement will be in seven days.
After Jiang Yi heard this, his handsome brows were furrowed. He specially sent someone to Plum Garden. However, the people in Plum Garden said that Yan Yiming had been redeemed by Master Jian a long time ago, and they didn't know where he had gone now.
Jian Yuyan hid the person so well that even Jian Xiang couldn't find him, let alone Jiang Yi.
Jiang Yi suddenly had an indescribable premonition that the last time they parted at the teahouse might have been the last time they saw each other.
The engagement day was seven days later. The Jian family and Dingbei Houfu were all in high spirits. The woman who was about to marry Jian Yuyan blushed whenever she mentioned Jian Yuyan. Only Jian Yuyan remained expressionless.
Prime Minister Jian only needed him to agree to the marriage, and he didn't care whether he liked him or not. Later, he heard from somewhere that Jian Yuyan had taken the actor from Meiyuan out and kept him outside, but he didn't say anything, as it was not a big deal for a man to be romantic.
Jian Yuer saw that everyone looked so happy, but she couldn't be happy at all. She made an excuse to leave the house and walked aimlessly for a few steps by the Xiaonan Lake. She found a familiar figure sitting under a willow tree in the distance.
She would never be wrong, it was Yan Yiming.
Her face was still covered with a veil, and she was sitting by the lake, wondering what she was thinking about.
Jian Yuer subconsciously wanted to leave, but couldn't help but walk back. After thinking for a long time, she walked over gently. Yan Yiming heard the noise and turned to look. He was slightly surprised to see her for a moment, but then he said calmly, "What a coincidence."
Jian Yuer responded softly, "Yes, what a coincidence."
She looked at Yan Yiming's veiled face, but she couldn't see it clearly. Yan Yiming turned around and smiled, "Want to see it?"
Jian Yuer blushed and shook her head, her fingers tightly twisted together, and after a long time she suddenly said "I'm sorry."
Yan Yiming looked at her in surprise. She knew that Jian Yuer would come here, but she never thought that Jian Yuer would say these three words.
Jian Yu'er and Jian Yan Yiming didn't say anything, their faces suddenly became redder, and they didn't dare to look at her anymore, until Yan Yiming said nothing was wrong, then they slowly breathed a sigh of relief.
The two remained silent.
After a long while, Jian Yuer asked her in a low voice, "Do you... know..."
But after saying half of her words, Jian Yuer couldn't continue.
Yan Yiming turned his head and looked at her, "Know what?"
"Ah, nothing." Jian Yuer shook her head hastily. She was confused just now and almost said it out loud. Just when she was relieved and glad that she didn't say it out loud, she heard Yan Yiming said lightly, "Do you know that he is going to get married?"
The handkerchief in Jian Yuer's hand suddenly fell to the ground. She looked at Yan Yiming in shock, "Did he tell you?"
"No," Yan Yiming blew air into the veil, "He has been hiding it from me, but I guessed it a long time ago."
She already knew...
Jian Yuer's heart was beating hard, and she was suddenly a little scared. She had known for a long time but had never told Jian Yuyan what she wanted to do...
Jian Yuer didn't dare to guess. Ever since the golden hairpin, Jian Yuer no longer dared to guess what this woman was thinking.
"Don't tell him," Yan Yiming suddenly said.
"What?"
"Don't tell him that I already know," Yan Yiming stood up, "or don't tell him for the time being."
"What do you mean by temporarily..."
Yan Yiming smiled and said, "You will know when the time comes."
Jian Yuer had no idea what "temporarily" meant and what "then" meant.
Yan Yiming had already left. Jian Yuer stood alone by the lake for a long time. When she returned to the Jian Mansion and met Jian Yuyan who was about to go out, Jian Yuer clenched her fists and said nothing in the end. She just casually asked if he was going to see her.
Jian Yuyan nodded and strode away. Jian Yuer stared at Jian Yuyan's back from afar and suddenly felt like crying.
The seventh day of July is the day when Jian Yuyan gets engaged.
Jian Yuyan told Yan Yiming the night before that he had something to do the next day and might not come until very late. Yan Yiming just nodded while painting carefully.
Jian Yuyan came over. Although the painting was almost finished, it was almost dawn. Jian Yuyan advised her gently, "Paint it tomorrow during the day. Be careful not to damage your eyes by staying up late at night."
"It's almost done," Yan Yiming said, with a smile on his face, "If you don't finish it, there will be no time."
Jian Yuyan was stunned, "No time?"
"I mean, it's almost done, so hurry up and finish it now." Yan Yiming raised his head and kissed him on the cheek. "If you feel sleepy, go and rest first."
Jian Yuyan picked up a book from the bookshelf and said, "Nothing, I'll wait for you."
Yan Yiming didn't say anything else. The candlelight burned slowly. The study was very quiet, and occasionally the sound of turning pages could be heard.
Not until the moon was above the treetops did Yan Yiming put down his pen. Jian Yuyan put away the book and wanted to read it, but Yan Yiming stopped him and said he could only read it after she had framed it.
Jian Yuyan chuckled and did not insist. It was already late and there was no need to waste any more time. He extinguished the candle and went back to bed to sleep.
When Jian Yuyan woke up in the morning, Yan Yiming was still sleeping, but after hearing the noise, he opened his eyes drowsily and called out "Zi'an". Jian Yuyan turned around, kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "It's still early, no need to get up, wait for me to come back in the evening."
Yan Yiming turned over to indicate that he heard it. Jian Yuyan smiled lightly, told the maids to take good care of Yan Yiming, and then left in a hurry.
On the seventh day of July, the two families set the date as the auspicious day for the Cowherd to meet the Weaver Girl. Jian Yuyan was handsome and unparalleled in gorgeous clothes. When he walked into the Dingbei Marquis Mansion, the women in the mansion blushed and their hearts beat fast. They envied their sisters for being able to marry a man like Jian Yuyan.
Marquis Dingbei, who knew the inside story, was extremely excited. His daughter had married Jian Yuyan, so her future would be more than just the young lady of the prime minister's mansion.
At the engagement banquet, everyone from both families was smiling. Everyone congratulated Jian Yuyan when they saw him. The young masters who used to play together joked that he would be having his wedding night soon, but Jian Yuyan suddenly smiled when he thought of Yan Yiming.
He already had someone to marry and they had their wedding night.
It's just that no one knows it.
It was not until noon that he returned to Jian's Mansion from Marquis Dingbei's Mansion. Jian Yuyan changed his clothes and thought that the engagement banquet ended earlier than he had expected. He had nothing to do at this time and just wanted to go there, but Jian Yuer stopped him at the door and said that she had something important to say.
Jian Yuyan had no choice but to go back to the room and ask her what was wrong.
Jian Yuer stared at him. Yan Yiming didn't allow her to say anything, but she always felt something was wrong. After hesitating for a few days, she couldn't help but call Jian Yuyan and said, "I saw her in Xiaonan Lake a few days ago. She said..."
Jian Yuyan suddenly stopped smiling.
People in the mansion said that Yan Yiming had not left the house in the past few days.
Suddenly, an indescribable panic rose in my heart, and my chest seemed to be grasped. I asked cautiously, "What did she say?"
"She said she knew you were going to get married..."
Jian Yuyan suddenly became unsteady on his feet, and Jian Yuer hurriedly helped him up. Seeing Jian Yuyan's loss of composure, she hurriedly explained, "I didn't mean to hide it from you, but she told me not to tell you that she already knew you were getting married, so..."
So what? Jian Yuyan couldn’t hear anything anymore.
She knew it a long time ago.
She didn't allow Jian Yuer to say it.
She had known it for a long time but never showed any knowledge.
Jian Yuyan was stunned for a moment, then seemed to have thought of something in a flash and ran towards that place regardless of everything.
Under the scorching sun of August, Jian Yuyan stood in front of the painting that Yan Yiming had finished overnight, his heart completely chilled.
"I'll show it to you tomorrow after it's framed."
"If I don't finish the painting today, I won't have time."
Now he finally saw it, his portrait was finally finished, but there were a few more words on the painting.
Leave resolutely and decisively, never to see you again.
The huge mansion is still exquisite and beautiful, but it is now empty.
Yan Yiming left behind his portrait and the long black hair they had tied together, while she left alone, never to return.
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