Chapter 33 "So you didn't..."
"So the reason you didn't want to marry Fu Han in the first place was because you already had someone else in your heart." Ji Qingyu confronted Ji Ran. "You really treat marriage like a business transaction. You're willing to marry someone like that?"
"Don't misunderstand, now that things have come to this, I might as well tell you, Fu Han originally wanted to marry you." Ji Ran's tone was listless.
Ji Qingyu raised her eyelids to look at Ji Ran.
Ji Ran's expression was no longer that exaggerated and hypocritical fake smile. He calmed down and looked at Ji Qingyu expressionlessly: "There was a period of time, probably four or five years ago, you know, when Fu Yunsheng almost succeeded, when Fu Han was at his lowest point, it was also when I relied on your song to release an album and become famous."
Ji Ran finished the entire glass of iced soda, then lit a cigarette. The smoke made Ji Qingyu very uncomfortable. Ji Ran stared straight at Ji Qingyu, his expression calm, as if he were telling some unimportant story about someone else.
“One day, I held my first concert, followed by a second and a third. And then, there was always one person sitting in the front row—Fu Han.” Ji Ran tapped his plate with his knife, staring down at the gorgeous pastries, his eyes filled with annoyance and numbness.
“You can hardly imagine, he was at almost every show, in every city, for many days in a row. Then the tour ended, and he said he wanted to buy all my songs. He asked me how much I wanted, and I disagreed. So he came to see me every day, and each time he raised the price higher than the last. In the end, I had no choice but to say that he hoped I could continue singing, and that we had a good relationship.” Ji Ran stubbed out his cigarette on the cigarette pack, leaving some black ash. The colorful cigarette pack burned and curled at the edges, emitting an unpleasant burning smell.
“At that time, I felt very humiliated. I didn’t understand, Ji Qingyu, why do you have people still remember you even though you don’t have to do anything, while I have done so much, worked so hard, tried to please everyone, tried to be the best, but I don’t have your talent. I really don’t understand, isn’t this just getting something for nothing?”
Hearing these absurd words, Ji Qingyu felt numb. He didn't want to pay attention to Ji Ran's fallacies, but he had a feeling of difficulty breathing. Fu Han wanted to buy his song. Why? To commemorate his mistakes and warn himself never to make the same mistake again?
“That day, Fu Han kept staring at me in the dark. I thought he was dead. That look in his eyes wasn’t something a normal person should have. I felt like he was going crazy,” Ji Ran continued.
"But later, nothing happened. Fu Yunsheng lost, and Fu Han regained control of everything. Sometimes I often wonder if the Fu Han I saw those days was a dream. You know, how could someone like Fu Han ask someone for anything? How could he so easily give up? I thought about that for a long time after that incident, and much later I realized that Fu Han likes you. He actually really likes you." Ji Ran finished speaking, chuckled, and looked at Ji Qingyu with increasingly cold eyes.
Ji Qingyu listened silently, finishing his coffee in front of him—an unsweetened Americano, bitter to the point of being sour. For some reason, the bitter taste of the coffee made him feel nauseous; his stomach churned, and after a few seconds, he rushed to the bathroom and dry heaved.
After a long while, he staggered back to his seat. As soon as he sat down, Ji Ran's gaze, which had been looking out the window, returned to him. She looked at him strangely and asked jokingly, "You're not pregnant, are you?"
What are you saying?
Ji Qingyu ignored Ji Ran, his fingers curled slightly, and he silently wiped the water stains off his face. He had just rinsed his face with cold water, and his hair was wet, but he still couldn't calm down.
He sat back down, and the nausea gradually subsided.
“I’m not here to hear you say that.” Ji Qingyu held the coffee cup in his hand. His profile appeared pale and calm in the cool light of early autumn. Faint veins were hidden beneath the well-proportioned lines of his arms. He stared at Ji Ran with a slight tension in his wrist. “I need an extra sum of money.”
Ji Ran looked at Ji Qingyu with some surprise, and after a while smiled, "Okay, I thought you called me here for something. I'll write you a check right now, but it's just this little bit of money. You don't need it. Just ask Fu Han for it. You can't be too shy to ask, can you?"
Ji Qingyu looked at Ji Ran, and today's heart-to-heart talk made him feel even more nauseous. He didn't know what Ji Ran saw in Fu Yunsheng. Perhaps it was the huge profits. Only something like that could bind Ji Ran.
Just like in high school, Ji Ran might have had some fragile liking and dependence on him, but in the face of interests, all of that was insignificant.
"That's none of your business." Ji Qingyu took the check, stood up, wrapped his coat tighter, and turned to leave.
He heard Ji Ran say lightly behind him, "Brother, now that you know the reason, don't hate me so much. Look, aren't you doing quite well now?"
"Whether I'm doing well or not has nothing to do with you, but whether I'm doing poorly is all your fault," Ji Qingyu paused and replied in a flat tone.
Perhaps influenced by Ji Ran's joke, he became increasingly restless after returning home. He felt that he was indeed feeling unwell and extremely abnormal lately. He tossed and turned in bed for a long time before finally going to the hospital to make an appointment.
While waiting at the hospital, he felt as if he had returned to the summer six years ago, to those painful nights in the rented room. People always think that once they encounter setbacks, they can overcome them, but the scars remain forever in the same place, unable to be repaired.
Occasionally, when I think back on it, the grievances and resentments can be overwhelming. Only by becoming numb can I barely cope with the pain that is like shards of glass.
He looked at the call number display on the screen, clenched the payment slip in his hand, and waited for another half hour.
It's finally his turn.
He glanced at his watch; it was 3:21 PM. He went in, and the doctor, as usual, had him undergo tests. He had his blood drawn and returned to the ward. The doctor looked down at the results. Every minute and every second was immense torment for Ji Qingyu. If she were pregnant, if she really were pregnant, it was impossible… how could it be?
The doctor looked at her for a few more seconds, then finally turned to face Ji Qingyu. Ji Qingyu stared into the doctor's eyes. Outside the window, a bird flapped its wings. Ji Qingyu knew that she was a bird that could never fly again. She heard the doctor say, "Congratulations, you are pregnant."
Ji Qingyu stood there, stunned, her head buzzing.
His first thought was of Fu Han's words, Fu Han said that it would never be possible for him to have a child.
The doctor wanted to offer some congratulations, but the omega in front of him didn't seem happy at all. He was very handsome, with a gentle yet melancholic air about him. He tensed up when he heard the news. The doctor had seen many similar situations before and immediately understood. He sighed inwardly.
Ji Qingyu remained motionless, a layer of cold sweat breaking out on his back. After a long while, he finally found his voice, which was hoarse and unpleasant, filled with disbelief: "Doctor, you must have made a mistake in your diagnosis. This is impossible."
The entire ward became a tiny cage, and he became the one from which he could not escape.
"Impossible?" The doctor moved the computer screen closer to Ji Qingyu and said, "Look at these indicators for yourself. They are all very clear. How much is your HCG? How much is higher than the normal value? Don't even think about it. You are 100% pregnant."
Ji Qingyu felt weak all over. She tried to stand up but knocked over the stool she was sitting on with a thud.
He didn't want to say another word.
The people behind them were urging them on, and one of them was holding a baby in his arms. The baby's cries seemed a bit out of place at that moment.
"Why now? What am I supposed to do?" Ji Qingyu muttered to herself.
"What do you mean, 'what to do'? Go find your alpha. It's no use talking to me here," the doctor said. "It's normal to be emotionally agitated at the beginning; it will get better after a while."
"How long has this child been pregnant?" Ji Qingyu asked.
"It's been over a month," the doctor replied.
For over a month, were his frequent vomiting and mood swings all because of the child? He clutched his lower abdomen, his breathing becoming labored, almost completely lost.
The phone rang abruptly. Ji Qingyu looked down and saw that it was Fu Han. Unable to face him, he hung up.
The phone kept ringing, making Ji Qingyu even more confused. He simply turned off his phone. He didn't know where to go. In times like these, the only person he could think of was Luo Sheng.
Ji Qingyu took his ID card and medical records, saying, "Thank you for your help."
Six years later, God gave him a second chance. He still didn't know if he could do it well, but he would not lose his child again. This was his child.
His steps were unsteady as he left the ward. He turned on his phone, and Fu Han's messages filled the entire screen. Then another call came in, the ringtone shrill. Ji Qingyu stared at Fu Han's name and answered.
"Why aren't you answering the phone?" After a few seconds of silence, Fu Han spoke first. The other end was as cold and impersonal as ever. At that moment, Ji Qingyu suddenly panicked. His back was pressed against the cold hospital wall, and his palms were covered in a sticky layer of cold sweat.
Fu Han will not want this child.
He thought.
"I was chatting with Nannan and didn't answer your call," Ji Qingyu said weakly.
"Yeah?"
"Hmm, what do you want to eat tonight? I'll make you boiled fish." Ji Qingyu's mouth was already out of control, saying whatever came to mind. He tried to remain calm while chatting with Fu Han, but his voice was still trembling uncontrollably.
"You don't need to do it." Fu Han paused, then said, "Just come back early."
"Okay..."
After hanging up the phone, Ji Qingyu covered her face.
He walked to a deserted corner of the hospital corridor and sobbed silently, suppressing his emotions, until he had released all his feelings before slowly standing up.
The leaves of the trees outside the hospital were falling softly.
He hurriedly flagged down a car on the roadside.
His eyes were red-rimmed as he stumbled open the door. Luo Sheng, who was tending to the saplings in the research institute, became somewhat nervous upon seeing Ji Qingyu's panicked state.
"What's wrong?" Luo Sheng rushed over to support Ji Qingyu and asked him gently. His eyes first fell on the plastic bag in Ji Qingyu's hand. He was familiar with the name of the medicine; he had used it when he was pregnant with Fu Han. So he froze after only one glance.
Ji Qingyu was completely dazed. He grabbed Luo Sheng's hand, still appearing calm, but inside he was already broken, with only an empty shell struggling to hold on. He said in a trembling voice, "Uncle, I'm pregnant."
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