Chapter 66. In her familiar place, her radiance was so dazzling it blinded him. ...
The heavy rain continued to pour down, and seemed to be getting heavier, with the world shrouded in a bluish-gray mist.
When Chen Zhoudu finished listening to Xia Chan's story, his eyes were already red and his whole body was stiff and cold as ice.
"I'm sorry." Xia Chan's gaze remained calm, her smile unwavering as she faced him. "Zhou Ferry."
She said, "Deleting you from my contacts was entirely my own fault. Whether I took money from your father or it was my own choice... I did it anyway. You didn't do anything wrong, and I knew that doing this might cause you pain, inner turmoil, and self-doubt... but I still chose to do it. Chenzhoudu, I am truly sorry..."
Chen Zhoudu's eyes were red, her Adam's apple bobbing slightly. Through the pattering rain, she seemed to be fading into the distance. Xia Chan lowered her gaze and smiled faintly, saying, "But if I could do it all over again, I would still choose to do it this way."
She gazed at the endless rain.
"Given my situation and understanding at the time... I believe that no matter how many times I have to go through this again, this path would still be the best choice for me back then."
"So, although I know I'm sorry to you, I've never regretted my choice. I know that 'I'm sorry' is the most useless thing in the world, and I don't know how to make it up to you. So, as I've always said, the choice is yours, and there will be no resentment."
Shen Zhoudu gazed at her intently, his eyes growing increasingly red. After a moment, he pursed his lips, lowered his gaze, and gave a slight smile.
Suddenly, a large number of tears fell down like rain.
Xia Chan watched him shed tears, and her heart felt as if it had been stabbed by something. She felt extremely sorry for him and wanted to reach out and hug him, but at this moment she did not dare to touch him at all. She stiffly lowered her hand when she got close to him.
He looked down at her hand with tears streaming down his face. After a moment, he closed his eyes as if to compose himself, and then looked up at her again.
His eyes were red and glistening with tears, but a smile played on his lips, tinged with a bittersweet tone, as he softly said, "Xia Chan."
"Feel sorry……"
Xia Chan frowned slightly, puzzled.
He said, "I thought... you might have pushed me away because of my dad. But I never knew you'd been through all that..."
“I didn’t know that Grandma… I didn’t know that Shen Jinghai and the others had bullied you like this. While I was still thinking that being controlled by Shen Jinghai was painful enough, I didn’t know that you had actually suffered a hundred times more than me. And I knew nothing about it. So I’m sorry, Xia Chan, I’m so sorry.”
Xia Chan's eyes were almost red with tears, and she stared at him with a slightly surprised look in her eyes.
Shen Zhoudu had indeed doubted himself before—after discovering that Xia Chan had deleted him and was deliberately avoiding him, he desperately wondered if he had done something wrong? Or was it still because of Shen Jinghai? So he hated Shen Jinghai and hated himself, tormented by internal struggle day and night, unable to figure it out.
She was always so free-spirited and clear-headed. He always loved her clarity of mind, but he also hated it.
It seems she can never understand or deliberately ignore his heart, and doesn't care about or notice her sadness.
But he never imagined that she had endured so much heartache and sorrow.
What has she been through?
While he was struggling with a difficult math problem, she was plunging a knife into that man's body to save her own life.
While he was still naively dreaming of their future life, she had already lost even the means to make a living. Watching her family struggle on the brink of life and death, she had to hold up the sky alone and swallow her sorrow.
He was too arrogant, sitting high above her enjoying everything she had never experienced, looking down on her suffering.
She was far better than he had imagined; resilient, open, and passionate, she was the most respectable girl he had ever met.
Worldly excellence could not define her in the slightest, and definitions of beauty, ugliness, wealth, and poverty only tarnished her. She was so good that her radiance was dazzling, blinding him, making him feel ashamed, narrow-minded, and ignorant. He always felt that she was unworthy of her.
Xia Chan lowered her eyes, tears suddenly welling up. She covered her face with one hand, not wanting him to see, and whispered, "Sinking boat, ferry you..."
"you……"
Chen Zhoudu silently watched her take a step closer. She looked up and lightly punched him, "Are you stupid again!"
"If you say so, then so be it." Shen Zhoudu smiled and gently wiped away the tears in her eyes, while tears also silently streamed down his own face as he pulled her into his arms.
"Xia Chan".
"Um?"
"Please promise me something, okay?"
"What?"
"From now on... don't hide things from me, don't push me away so easily." In the drizzling rain, Chen Zhoudu said softly, "I know there are many things in your life that are very important to you, and I know that I may only occupy a small corner of your life, but no matter what happens in the future, please don't hide things from me or push me away so easily anymore, okay? Rather than you having to bear it all alone, I would rather face it with you. Even if I can't solve your problems, I want to be your support."
Xia Chan gently gripped the hem of his clothes with her fingertips, closed her eyes bitterly, shed a tear, and softly said, "Okay."
...
After the rain stopped, the air in the mountain cemetery was fresh and humid. The two walked hand in hand to Grandma Xia's tombstone.
Chen Zhoudu placed the bouquet of chrysanthemums in front of the tombstone, picked up some fallen leaves around him, squatted down, looked up at the photo on the tombstone, and smiled.
"Grandma, I've come to see you."
He gazed and gazed...
Suddenly, tears fell and she sobbed uncontrollably.
...
--Boy friend?
—Come on, Xiaodu, eat up! There's more if you want, don't worry!
—In this world, how can people be perfectly compatible and integrated after only a short time of knowing each other? Don't TV dramas also have the roles of bickering lovers and love-hate relationships? It all comes down to compromise and tolerance.
—You've only been here a short time, and Chan and the others don't know you that well yet, and you don't really know them that well either. If you're unsure how to fit in, just try to understand them, find common ground, and integrate! Why don't you try learning about Chan and the others' lives first…
...
Xia Chan stood silently behind him, watching his back and her grandmother. Her eyes reddened, and after a while, she squatted down beside him and held his hand.
Chen Zhoudu's hands were icy cold and trembling as he grasped hers tightly, sniffed, and looked at her grandmother's photo with her, smiling.
Those little things in life that once brought warmth and joy...
Some memories from my life that are now distant and long past...
In life, there are always some people and things that we can never forget; they are immortal.
-
On the way back, Xia Chan suddenly remembered to ask Chen Zhoudu, "How did you suddenly appear here?"
Chen Zhoudu carefully observed her expression and said slowly, "Yesterday... Siyi celebrated her birthday and invited me."
"She let slip that you were away on a business trip, and when I realized something was wrong, I pressed her for details and got the truth out of her, so..."
"..." Xia Chan was now speechless with anger towards Si Yi, this big lisp. She silently rolled her eyes and asked, "So what reason did you give for coming here? Is your job... even okay?"
“I told them that a close family member had passed away and I had to take two days off.” Shen Zhoudu winked at her mysteriously, “So they had no choice but to agree, whether they wanted to or not.”
"..." Xia Chan's lips twitched. "I remember... you said your manager and the others know your dad." She secretly wanted to laugh. "Aren't you afraid Shen Jinghai will beat you up?"
He laughed, "He can't beat me now."
It was difficult to get a taxi near the cemetery, and Xia Chan only realized that Shen Zhoudu was a public figure after getting on the bus, which made her a little worried.
Chen Zhoudu put on a hat and mask again, covering most of his face with darkness.
Fortunately, there weren't many people taking the bus in the cemetery, and no one recognized him.
As the car entered the residential area, more and more people arrived. It was school dismissal time, and students were boarding in batches. Chen Zhoudu's tall stature and unique attire drew frequent glances from many people.
Two middle school girls were whispering and talking amongst themselves, glancing over. Luckily, Xia Chan was quick-witted and patted Chen Zhoudu on the back, "Hey! I told you it was going to rain today, and I told you to wear more clothes! But you wouldn't listen! Now look what happened, you've caught a cold!"
Chen Zhoudu coughed instinctively after being slapped by her, and met her eyes with a cool and resentful look.
Xia Chan gave him a half-smile.
He could only helplessly cover his lips and cough a few times symbolically, but as he coughed, he caught a gust of cold air and started coughing violently, causing everyone around him to suddenly make way for him.
The two girls seemed disgusted and moved far away, no longer looking. Xia Chan almost burst out laughing, struggling to hold it in.
As the car entered the town center, it passed through a short stretch of Shanfeng Lane.
Shanfeng Lane has now been transformed into a professional commercial district, with high-rise buildings rising from the ground. The lane that used to be a "ferry" has now become a commercial ancient lane.
When I took a taxi to the cemetery today, the driver had already chatted with me about everyday things.
Qingshui has actually developed quite well in the past two years. It has become a new tourist town after being recommended by several travel bloggers, and construction is underway in various parts of the town.
The area around Shanfeng Lane has long been monopolized by capital and has become a completely template-based commercial city. Outsiders might still stroll around, but locals will no longer go there.
He stared out the window, overwhelmed with mixed emotions.
Xia Chan squeezed his hand.
"Stop looking."
Xia Chan finally got off the bus in front of a residential area called "Baihua Jiayuan".
This is the resettlement housing for the residents of Shanfeng Lane. The location is a bit remote, situated on the south side of Qingshui Town, but fortunately it is next to the river, so the environment is quite nice.
However, the property management of the community seems to be somewhat negligent. The gates are wide open, and outside cars and people can come in at will. The green belt has also been turned into a parking lot.
Xia Chan did not take Chen Zhou back to the house she and her grandmother had settled in. Instead, she said to him with a hint of mystery, "I'm taking you to see someone."
Then she took him to a certain unit in a certain building and knocked on the door of a family.
"Who is it?" A languid voice, sounding as if just waking up, quickly came from inside the door. Then the door opened, and a familiar face appeared.
Both of them were stunned when they met.
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