40. Of course
Vocational high schools weren't exactly peaceful places; fights and petty thefts were commonplace, and the police were constantly present. But seeing a police car arrive in the middle of the night with sirens blaring was a first, at least since Zeng Xiasheng enrolled. The stunned silence lasted only a moment, and the desolate suburban night sky suddenly erupted in a tizzy. The boys, completely drowsy, jostled for a good window seat, peering out to see what was happening downstairs.
Zeng Xiasheng's bed was on the lower bunk by the window, originally for the sake of quietness, choosing this corner where no one wanted to sleep because it was hot in summer and cold in winter. However, his roommates flocked in and disturbed his peace.
In the past, the boys would gather in groups in the hallway to watch the girls' dorm across the street, whistling and cracking obscene jokes. After repeated complaints from the girls, the boys' dorm was relocated to an unused teaching building to the side. Now, with a building blocking the view, even if you lean halfway out the window, you can only glimpse the stairwell to the west of the girls' dorm.
Even so, their wild speculations didn't stop them. First, someone reported in real time that they'd seen two girls being escorted downstairs by the police, possibly a roommate fight. Someone immediately countered that there seemed to be a man involved, who might have snooped in and been caught. The room erupted in laughter, speculation, and speculation, wondering who was brave enough to take the lead and help the others explore whether sleepwalking could be an excuse.
If he stayed any longer, he might get into a fight with some foul-mouthed person. Zeng Xiasheng stood up with a gloomy face, pushed through the crowd and walked out. He told the teacher on duty at the door that he needed to go to the toilet and went to the washroom at the end of the corridor.
The tiled floor was piled with the boys' unwashed clothes, smelling foul, but at least it was cool. Zeng Xiasheng leaned against the edge of the pool, idly staring at the pockmarked playground across the way. He figured the high school Tang Sizhuo was going to wouldn't be this messy. Only poor students from bad schools who didn't study would be so bored and wander around like flies chasing carrion.
In the wee hours of the morning, after the police van left, Zeng Xiasheng returned to his dormitory. He had no idea when the discussion had escalated into a story about migrant workers from next door climbing over the wall in the dark, then ganging up on a lone girl seeking shelter from the heat. The short boy sleeping near the door, with a dark blue birthmark across his forehead, was always ridiculed, usually timid and afraid to look up. But tonight, he seemed a different person. He was surrounded by a crowd, spitting and recounting how he had slipped through the crack in the door. Even before the commotion, he could hear the sounds of flesh struggling and the woman's painful moans.
His roommates were so engrossed in their conversation that no one noticed Zeng Xiasheng silently walking back to his bed. He grabbed the thermos bottle from the wall and slammed it to the ground. With a loud bang, shards and hot water splattered everywhere.
"sleep."
After entering high school, Zeng Xiasheng stopped fighting as frequently, but his scars were still visible. Normally, he remained silent, but now, with his sudden outbursts, everyone was terrified. Even Li Zhiheng didn't dare challenge his brutality. After muttering a few curses, he slipped out into the hallway for a cigarette. The short boy at the door trembled with fear, his face fading to a pale pale. He trembled, avoiding Zeng Xiasheng's gaze.
"If I hear you say that again, I'll tear your mouth apart."
His voice was low, but it didn't sound threatening, but rather a warning of action. The rest of the room dared not speak aloud and retreated, their breathing subdued.
Zeng Xiasheng left the debris on the floor, planning to clean it up during the day. He'd learned from childhood that one shouldn't immediately clean up the mess after a fit of anger; the shattered glass and broken bricks were far more intimidating than the horror of memories. Yet, as he lay down on the bed, caught in the eerie silence, he couldn't understand why he had lost control.
Fighting is self-destructive, a way of gaining space with blood and flesh, exchanging pain for dignity. There's no need to bother with other people's concerns. Even if he hadn't agreed to Tang Sizhuo's agreement to avoid conflict, he wouldn't normally intervene in such matters. He could just walk away if he found the noise annoying, and it wasn't him who was being criticized. But the anger seemed to come naturally, without cause. He didn't even think of Tang Sizhuo, nor did he think the boy resembled Wang Hui. He was simply angry at the malicious and obscene words.
A peaceful night couldn't bring peace to the situation. The school, seeking to quickly pacify the situation, issued no public notice, only to spark the students' vibrant creative juices. "Secrets of the vocational high school" emerged one after another. Even when teachers privately revealed that an outsider had broken into the house, it was merely an excuse for the school to cover up the incident. After all, stealing money is not as exciting as stealing a person. Living in a rural boarding school is already a daunting experience, and the boys were given a rare opportunity to have fun. Each of them spoke with gusto, as if they had been there, witnessing the sudden release of sexual pleasure.
The majority of women were in the kindergarten and nursing programs. Regardless of their size, appearance, or appearance, they all underwent a round of scrutiny, their expressions and gait being used to assess whether they had "pitifully" lost their virginity. Qiu Shishi, with her long-standing grudge against them, naturally bore the brunt of the criticism. Li Zhiheng, meanwhile, was mocked and glared at wherever he went, saying she was so pedantic that she disdained even his money. He hoped she wouldn't end up benefiting the migrant workers.
Compared to Li Zhiheng's anger and embarrassment, Qiu Shishi was the same as usual. She ignored the teasing looks from people around her, got up on time, ate, studied, and went to bed. She also insisted on running two laps in the playground every evening.
Zeng Xiasheng wasn't sure how he'd formed a connection with her, but his gaze kept drifting over to her, and he gradually realized that she only had two sets of clothes to wash and change in the summer, and she was always the last to go to the cafeteria, ordering a serving of white rice and asking the waitress to pour some leftover vegetable soup over it. She also worked part-time to pay for her studies, organizing the library, but she didn't spend the money she earned on food or clothes, instead using it to buy discarded supplementary exercises at second-hand bookstores.
Sitting in the playground in the evenings, enjoying the cool breeze, Zeng Xiasheng sometimes watched her run laps, lost in thought, a tangle of questions swirling in his mind. He wondered why Tang Sizhuo hadn't developed such a fearless personality, and why Qiu Shishi hadn't been born into a more privileged family, where she wouldn't have to choose between food and study. All these questions ultimately converged into an unspeakable absurdity. He barely made ends meet, struggling to take care of himself. His concern for Tang Sizhuo out of their long-standing friendship was understandable, but why was he so worried about Qiu Shishi? It was like she was looking for trouble, seeking only to cause trouble.
He wanted to stop thinking about it, but the afternoon when he first met Tang Sizhuo suddenly emerged in his mind. Scenes flashed back to her eyes that were so nervous that they were about to cry, and her trembling voice when she insisted on speaking for him.
If Tang Sizhu still remembered the girl she had given chocolate to, and one day in the future learned that Qiu Shishi had suffered such a disaster and he was indifferent, how would he explain it to her? Would he say that he was different from her, that he had no spare energy and no desire to meddle in the affairs of others who had nothing to do with him?
Whenever he thought of this, Zeng Xiasheng felt a tightness in his chest, unable to breathe. The balancing act he relied on seemed to have reached a deadlock with Qiu Shishi's appearance. He couldn't find a reason to meddle in other people's affairs, but even in his imagination, he found it difficult to accept Tang Sizhuo's disappointed expression.
On the last day before the end of the semester, Zeng Xiasheng hesitated again and again, and finally sent a text message to Tang Sizhuo, admitting that he had seen the 500 yuan and asking her if he could use it and add it to someone else's meal card.
After Tang Sizhuo's high school entrance exam, Xiao Tong took her to the provincial capital to study with a professor. It was exhausting, and she fell asleep every night, forced to resume contact with Zeng Xiasheng. It was a rare unsolicited text from him, and it was asking about something like this. She was quite surprised, and before she could reply, Zeng Xiasheng sent another message, saying that a classmate from a very poor family wanted to take the college entrance exam and asked if she would be willing to lend her notes and unused materials.
"Of course."
Zeng Xiasheng earned eight yuan an hour working part-time at the hotel, and a full day's work would bring him just over a hundred yuan at best. Five hundred yuan was just a casual allowance from Sun Changming for Tang Sizhuo, but it was a significant sum for him. Although he hadn't intended to spend it, the thought of spending it on someone other than Tang Sizhuo inevitably led him to ask himself: why not spend it on himself? Zeng Xiasheng had memorized Qiu Shishi's student ID number from the report card at the entrance of the kindergarten teacher training class. After getting Tang Sizhuo's permission, he immediately got up and went to the card machine, leaving no room for regret.
As he watched the bills being swallowed, one by one, he felt a strange feeling: a sense of relief, a buoyant joy. Back when even saving a few dozen yuan was a struggle, he'd willingly spend thirty to buy ice cream with Tang Sizhuo, believing that as long as she was content, he'd share her joys and delights. But he didn't like Qiu Shishi, and yet, even though they'd barely spoken, he was still happy just because he'd helped her eat well for two months. It felt so bizarre, like a luxurious dream.
Zeng Xiasheng stood there for a long time when the screen showing "Recharge successful" dimmed. When he came to his senses, he saw that Tang Sizhuo had sent two more text messages.
The first one was: "Is your classmate a science major? I only have science materials, but at least Chinese, math and English are useful."
The second is to ask him: "Do you need it?"
There were many employees and students smoking in the corners of the cafeteria, the walls already stained yellow and stank of smoke. Zeng Xiasheng lowered his gaze, staring at the cigarette butts scattered on the floor for a long time, and then he sighed deeply. He had been in that filthy place for too long, so long that he was worried that Tang Sizhuo would mind. She was willing to protect even the dirty kids picking up trash, so how could she have any hesitation about helping others get ahead? If he was the one aiming for the college entrance examination, even if he had to start from scratch with elementary school courses, Tang Sizhuo would probably force him to go to college.
At the end of July, the piano competition concluded and the high school entrance exam results were released at the same time. As expected, Tang Sizhuo had a double celebration. Sun Changming was overjoyed and held a grand celebration banquet for both his graduation and his success, entertaining many guests with great fanfare.
Although Zhang Tao was highly commended at the provincial meeting, the leadership change had led to a crackdown on land sales. Fearing his new boss's flattery, he hesitated to sign the contract amidst the storm, instead promising to complete all necessary procedures before completion and ensuring delivery of the units. Sun Changming's lingering concerns only added to the uncertainty, but fortunately, overall, things were going smoothly. He was able to capitalize on Tang Sizhuo's wedding and find an excuse to smooth things over.
Qiu Shishi didn't have a cell phone and had lost contact with her since the holidays. Zeng Xiasheng didn't know whether she was planning to pursue liberal arts or science in the college entrance exam, so Tang Sizhuo initially provided her with core course materials. Besides her notes, she also provided her carefully selected workbooks. Xiao Tong's budget for her daughter's studies was practically unlimited, leaving her tutor impatient to sort through her predecessor's belongings and always rushing out with a new batch of exercises, especially in Chinese, math, and English, which were highly repetitive. Tang Sizhuo compiled a massive pile, nearly too heavy to carry, and dragged it out the door while her parents were away.
Zeng Xiasheng did bring good news. Due to an unexpected end-of-term event or some other reason, the school had closed early and was merged into another vocational high school in the city. Even though the tuition discrepancy had caused a heated argument between parents and school officials, it had little impact on Zeng Xiasheng. After all, the city school didn't require boarding, and even if fees increased, it would only be a couple of thousand yuan a year, which he could make up with his extra part-time job during the week, leaving him with a bit of a surplus.
Tang Sizhuo was happy to help him, explaining the books by category and instructing Zeng Xiasheng to tell the students what to learn first and what to learn later, which were the basics and which were the advanced ones. Zeng Xiasheng listened silently, thinking that since she was so thoughtful, these books shouldn't be given away without explanation. So after a moment's hesitation, he told her everything, telling her what happened at the vocational school and that these books were to be given to Qiu Shishi.
To avoid upsetting Tang Sizhuo, he omitted the unpleasant details, merely vaguely stating that someone had unfoundedly suspected Qiu Shishi of involvement and was spreading unfavorable rumors. Tang Sizhuo was extremely sensitive to gossip, and even though he had chosen his words with extreme care, she instantly paled and felt her fingertips go cold. Zeng Xiasheng patted her back soothingly, but when he noticed Tang Sizhuo trembling uncontrollably, he pulled her into his arms and whispered soothing words.
"Don't worry. She didn't take it seriously. She continued to do what she had to do. She wasn't affected at all."
After he said that, he felt something was wrong. He was afraid that Tang Sizhuo would think that she was not as strong as Qiu Shishi and should not be hurt by gossip. He quickly added: "But she must feel bad. I will give it to her as soon as school starts. She will be happy."
However, things did not go as planned. After school started, Zeng Xiasheng searched everywhere in the school, asking all majors and every class, but he could not find any trace of Qiu Shishi.
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