Fu Shizhe's memory went into a brief blank. It was a very distant name. After a moment, he slowly said "hmm".
The atmosphere in the car suddenly changed.
Yun Li glanced at Fu Shi Ze from the corner of his eye. His expression did not change much. He said calmly, "He is a nice guy. You should like this job."
It seemed that something had been triggered, and his mood had obviously dropped a lot, but it was not reflected in his expression. Yunli looked to both sides, found a dead end in the campus woods, and drove in.
The car stopped at the end.
There are lush evergreen trees on both sides, the leaves rustle in the wind, and the large green leaves block out the sunlight.
Yunli stared at his eyes that were like a pool of stagnant water, unbuckled her safety buckle, rushed forward and hugged him tightly.
I want to give him all my strength.
Yunli regretted bringing up this matter just now.
She originally thought that as long as she worked in this company, Fu Shi would sooner or later find out that her team leader was Zhou Tiao.
Rather than hiding it, it is better to tell it early.
If he had a problem with it, she would just find another job.
Yunli asked directly: "How about I change jobs? I haven't rejected some offers yet."
"No need." Fu Shi looked down at her, "Zhou Tiao is a friend of mine from a long time ago. He's a good guy, you'll be very happy working with him."
Zhou Tiao was once one of Fu Shi Ze's best friends. After Jiang Yuan got into trouble, Zhou Tiao and other teammates contacted him many times.
He didn't reply.
Everyone else can understand.
He and Jiang Yuan had been in the same school and class from junior high school, high school, and college. They went in and out together, ranked at the top, and had a brotherly relationship.
They all thought that he couldn't bear the blow of Jiang Yuan's death.
Actually, it’s been a long time.
He realized belatedly that Jiang Yuan had been dead for more than three years.
"I should have told you earlier. You have the right to know." Fu Shize's face turned pale. Yun Li pursed her lips and shook her head: "You don't have to tell me what happened in the past. It doesn't matter whether I know or not."
Yunli clasped his five fingers.
She hoped he would never think of unhappy things again.
This time, Fu Shize did not remain silent as he did in the past.
Maybe he himself has been suffering for a long time.
Maybe he also wanted to grasp a glimmer of hope and get out.
"Insomnia is getting worse." Fu Shi said softly.
Because he often dreams about Jiang Yuan recently.
Chen Jinping’s birthday is coming, which means Jiang Yuan’s birthday is also coming.
More than three years later, Fu Shi still felt that the person should be alive.
Going to Western University of Science and Technology with Jiang Yuan, Fu Shi originally thought that this was the beginning of the young man's dream, and everything developed as expected.
In the second semester of their freshman year, Jiang Yuan proposed to participate in a drone competition, and they formed a team with their roommates.
Several of them are young and energetic, and stand out from the crowd.
When choosing a team name, the word "Unique" came to mind.
That time, after eating barbecue in the back street, Fu Shi looked up at the half moon in the sky and decided on their team logo.
Without seeking guidance from a professor, they endured a month of hard nights, often leaving the office in the dark.
But at that time I never felt it was hard.
They were all teenagers who had just reached adulthood, and with the fifteen-year-old Fu Shi Ze, they were determined to get first place in the country.
They watched the drone being built up slowly, the algorithm becoming more and more perfect, and it was test flown countless times. When it finally took off shakily, several people in the office cheered.
They pushed each other onto the grass.
Fu Shi stood firm and controlled the drone to fly in the air, gradually shrinking into a dot. He looked up and ran after the drone, while the others followed behind him, cheering.
They won first prize.
When the award was announced, Fu Shi originally wanted to remain calm, but under the influence of others, he also started laughing uncontrollably.
They won more than one first prize.
From the most ordinary competitions all the way to overseas.
Participating in the competition every year has become a tacit understanding among them.
Until Jiang Yuan committed suicide.
Since childhood, Jiang Yuan has always had a gentle personality and often plays the role of a listener among the crowd.
Jiang Yuan never says what he wants.
But they clearly agreed that they would tell each other everything.
Every day was the same for Fu Shi Ze. From childhood to adulthood, he went to school and cram school in an orderly manner. In his free time, he would go out to play or make trouble with Jiang Yuan.
Until I started my doctorate, my life didn't change much.
The two of them stayed in their own laboratories every day. When they were tired, they would call each other to hang on the corridor railings to chat, call each other to eat, and get up early and come back late together.
Fu Shizhe couldn't remember when they started to become disconnected.
Shi Xiangzhe focused on cultivating him, and he became busier and busier. When Jiang Yuan called him, he often had no time to respond.
It was just an impression that as soon as he finished revising the article and submitted it, he breathed a sigh of relief and called Jiang Yuan to sit in the cafe downstairs.
Fu Shi had been up all night for several days and was extremely tired. He smiled and said, "Finally, I voted it out."
“…”
Jiang Yuan looked at him, without showing his usual gentle smile, and his expression seemed to be at a loss. He said blankly: "I went to the hospital, and the doctor said that I was severely depressed and anxious."
Fu Shize didn't have much idea about these two words. He glanced at Jiang Yuan and said hesitantly, "Shall I check it first?"
Jiang Yuan nodded.
The more Fu Shi investigated, the more he felt something was wrong.
How could a person like Jiang Yuan, who always smiles when he is with him and even often guides and comforts him, have depression and anxiety?
Fu Shi said rationally, "Did the doctor prescribe medicine?"
"He prescribed several kinds." Jiang Yuan took out the medicine box from his bag. Fu Shi felt very uncomfortable and put all the medicine back into the box. "It's okay. Just listen to the doctor."
Jiang Yuan hummed.
"What happened recently?"
"Nothing happened. Maybe it was because I had to submit my article and I was under a lot of pressure," Jiang Yuan explained.
Fu Shi frowned and asked him as if to confirm: "Is this the truth?"
Jiang Yuan nodded.
"Do you feel uncomfortable?" Fu Shize did not doubt his words and continued to ask him.
Jiang Yuan finally smiled: "I don't seem to feel anything." He came back to his senses and pushed the cake on the table to Fu Shi Ze.
"Hurry up and eat something. You just submitted your article, so let me celebrate for you."
Fu Shi didn't think anything was wrong. After Jiang Yuan was diagnosed, he consciously had meals with him every day, and Jiang Yuan still smiled and talked with him all day.
Until that day, Jiang Yuan's mother called him and said that Jiang Yuan had cut his wrists in the dormitory.
Fu Shizhe's mind went blank at that moment. He ran downstairs and rode his little turtle to the dormitory building. There were police cars and ambulances downstairs, surrounded by many students.
There were many people at Jiang Yuan’s door, including counselors, building managers, security guards, and doctors.
He froze in place, his legs seemed not to belong to him, and he moved to the dormitory door.
Jiang Yuan was sitting in bed, his face pale, and the doctor was wrapping gauze around him.
When he saw him, he lowered his eyes indifferently, as if he didn't want to have any contact at all. Fu Shi walked up to him and said in a very sad tone: "Brother..."
Hearing this address, Jiang Yuan was slightly touched and said bitterly, "Sorry."
Because he felt sleepy after taking the medicine, and it happened to be the time for Jiang Yuan to submit his manuscript, he stopped taking the medicine secretly.
This time the wrist cut was not very deep, only a shallow wound, and he was not sent to the hospital.
The school was afraid of further incidents and asked Jiang Yuan to take a leave of absence for a period of time.
Jiang Yuan was unwilling and even said he wanted to cut his wrists again.
His parents begged him earnestly, and Fu Shi also asked Fu Dongsheng and Chen Jinping for help, so he was able to continue his studies.
Jiang Yuan's parents asked Fu Shi to watch him take his medicine every day.
Jiang Yuan became very negative and rarely smiled anymore.
He would often enter a trance-like state, and Fu Shi would have to call him several times before he would come back to his senses.
After taking the medicine for a period of time, Jiang Yuan will return to normal and get along with Fu Shi Ze as before.
Fu Shi asked him several times the reason for his depression, but Jiang Yuan always said it was because of the pressure of graduation.
After two months of staying up late, Fu Shi rushed out a paper. During dinner, he took the initiative to talk to Jiang Yuan about it: "I have an article that I have already written and sent to the editor for revision. It should be accepted by a journal in Zone 1. The algorithm is your idea. I plan to put your name on the first author list, and your boss will be listed as the correspondence. Professor Shi also agreed."
Jiang Yuan knew that Fu Shi was willing to give his job to him.
And you put it so tactfully.
He felt it was ironic and slowly stopped eating.
When the two of them fell into silence, he raised his eyes and glanced at Fu Shi Ze: "Aze, that's not necessary."
"I can do it myself." Jiang Yuan smiled and said, "Don't worry about me. Stay up less late."
At that time, Fu Shize did not notice the abnormality in his tone and thought that he was concerned as usual.
Jiang Yuan's parents have only one child.
During his time in Nanwu, Fu Shi visited Jiang Yuan's home many times, and the two elders treated him like their own son.
Fu Shi would call them every day to tell them about Jiang Yuan's situation.
He did these things not because of his parents' request.
Since childhood, Fu Shize would write in his essays and diaries that he had an older brother.
Even though they were not related by blood, Jiang Yuan was already a real relative to him.
He didn't want anything to happen to his brother.
He was also very afraid that something might happen to his brother.
At a certain time every day, Fu Shi would walk to Jiang Yuan's laboratory and knock on the door.
He always saw the same scene, with Unique's coat hanging on a chair and a drone from their first competition on the table.
Fu Shize would sometimes go in, and sometimes he would just stand at the door and shout, "Brother."
When Jiang Yuan was in a good mood, he would smile at him helplessly, throw the medicine up, catch it and drink water, and then look at his blank palm and tease him: "I've already eaten it~"
When I am in a bad mood, I just hold it in my mouth silently.
Fu Shize was indeed staring.
Not a single one was missed.
Jiang Yuan slowly returned to normal, but he would often say negative things to him.
The relationship between the two changed. When he was a child, it was Jiang Yuan who enlightened him, but when he grew up, it became him who enlightened Jiang Yuan.
It was Fu Shizhe's birthday that year, and Jiang Yuan ran to the maple forest in Beishan as usual.
At that time, grandma was still alive, and Fu Shi pushed the old lady outside in a wheelchair.
Jiang Yuan lit a firework stick in the yard and handed it to the old man.
The old man couldn't hold the firework stick steadily, but he was still very happy. He grinned and spoke intermittently: "Yuanyuanbi Zeze is obedient."
Fu Shi didn't care about these words.
It didn't matter who was better between him and Jiang Yuan. He had been with Jiang Yuan since childhood and never had the idea of competing with him. He preferred the two of them to participate in the competition together and win awards together.
He felt that Jiang Yuan thought so too.
The last day.
Jiang Yuan knocked on the door of his laboratory.
He was doing an experiment at the time, and he opened the door neatly. The other party asked with a smile: "Are you free?"
"I'm doing an experiment. Would you like to come in?" Fu Shi leaned back.
Jiang Yuan nodded and followed him into the room.
"I brought you a cup of milk tea." Jiang Yuan put the milk tea on the table.
Fu Shi, who had been working late into the night for this project, only hummed wearily.
Jiang Yuan leaned against the operating table, watching Fu Shi Ze silently.
Building robots, adjusting codes, and operating, the whole process was orderly, as if he was born to belong to this place.
Fu Shi focused on a small part on the robot and said, "After I adjust it, you can try it."
“…”
Jiang Yuan didn't respond to him.
Fu Shi looked up and found that Jiang Yuan had brought the drone from his desk and was playing with it in his hands.
Jiang Yuan touched the U-shaped letter on the drone and said with a smile: "This is my first time participating in this kind of competition, and I never thought I could win first place."
"I can remember when we went on stage to receive the award, there were flashing lights all over our eyes. The first time I received an award was the happiest time of my life." Jiang Yuan looked up: "It was easy to be content at that time. Do you remember the day when that crappy plane took off? Zhou Tiao wanted to jump onto a tree. He ran too fast and the tree branch scratched a big hole in his pants."
"Ask Zhou Tiao what he thinks." Fu Shizhe also remembered those things and couldn't help laughing.
"Zhou Tiao is about to graduate. I heard that he got an offer from a drone giant and the company offered him a very high salary." Jiang Yuan murmured.
"Yeah." Fu Shize just put the last part in place and stood up straight, "Now there's only you and me left in Unique."
The rest of them have graduated with master's degrees.
Jiang Yuan's expression darkened: "Are you still participating this year?"
"How about you lead the team this year?" Fu Shizhe had a lot of things to do and he didn't have enough energy and time to be the captain of the team.
"I can't do it." Jiang Yuan refused. "During this period of time without your help, I realized that there is a big gap between my own abilities and others."
He smiled bitterly and said, "I feel so much pressure. Ah Ze, I feel like this high pressure is almost going to crush me."
“…”
"What's wrong?" Fu Shi asked him with a frown, "Didn't you say you were fine last time?"
Jiang Yuan's expression was calm at the time, but there was a strong sense of fatigue in the corners of his eyes. After a moment, he slowly said "hmm".
"It's good, but I want something better." Jiang Yuan's tone was just as normal as before: "Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off if I hadn't met you."
“…”
Fu Shi didn't take these hurtful words to heart and just remained silent.
"Sometimes I'm quite jealous of you. You have everything." Jiang Yuan smiled, but there was no hint in his tone that made him uncomfortable.
Fu Shi operated the handle, and the robot moved. He handed the handle to Jiang Yuan, trying to break the depressing atmosphere.
Jiang Yuan shook his head: "No, these things are not something I should touch."
His smile was bitter: "If you don't fly high, you can accept your mediocrity in life."
Jiang Yuan was his best brother, and Fu Shi had never complained or felt any emotion because of his negative energy. He said calmly, "Don't think about that. Most of the awards I won were won with you."
Fu Shizhe pointed to the trophy in the cabinet and said, "We are the whole team that won the award, not just Fu Shizhe or Jiang Yuan alone."
Jiang Yuan stared at the drone in his hand for dozens of seconds before he nodded.
"Put the drone away. There's only one." Fu Shi eased the heavy atmosphere between them and looked at Jiang Yuan: "Let's play basketball tomorrow?"
Jiang Yuan smiled and said, "Forget it, I'm a little tired."
Fu Shize: "Okay, tell me when you want to fight."
"Then I'll be leaving." Jiang Yuan said hello to him, lowered his head and walked out while playing with the drone.
Fu Shi looked at the tall and thin figure, immersed in the dark corridor, and called out: "Jiang Yuan."
The other person looked back at him.
"My experiment will be late today. What time will you go back?" Fu Shi paused for a few seconds and continued, "Let's go back together."
"I don't know." Jiang Yuan shook his head.
This wasn't the first time this kind of conversation had happened between the two.
Fu Shi also thought that it was just an ordinary conversation.
Fu Shi forgot the time in the laboratory. When he heard the sound of rain, he looked out the window. Dark clouds blocked the moon and the night was noisy.
He adjusted the robot's algorithm and operated it with the handle again, and the robot moved smoothly and seamlessly.
Suddenly there was a very loud "bang".
Fu Shi glanced at the door, but didn't care. He continued to operate the robot, thinking about trying the effect of the confrontation with Jiang Yuan tomorrow. After all, it was a research idea they had thought of a long time ago.
The laboratory building is not soundproof.
He heard screaming.
He heard hurried footsteps in the corridor.
He heard someone calling for an ambulance.
Finally, he heard someone calling Jiang Yuan's name.
Fu Shizhe's hands froze on the operating table. He ran out unsteadily, the whole world was shaking, and the rain pouring in diagonally wet the corridor.
He thought of the time Jiang Yuan cut his wrists a long time ago, and how grateful he was at that time.
He felt that Jiang Yuan was unwilling to leave this world.
This world has his family.
He won't leave.
After reaching the first floor, Fu Shi walked into the rain and approached the shadow on the ground. Until that moment, he was thinking, it can't be Jiang Yuan.
He only needed to take one look at the other person's face to know that it was not Jiang Yuan.
He couldn't accept it.
This became Fu Shizhe's most painful memory.
On that night, which was no different from any other, there was a thunderstorm and heavy rain, the leaves rustled, and the rain washed the earth. He felt the rain hitting his body and thought of the rain and scolding they had received together before.
My brother, my good friend.
Just like that, in front of him.
"elder brother."
The rain swallowed up Fu Shizhe's voice.
"Jiang Yuan."
The cold rain hit him and Jiang Yuan.
The blood was diluted.
Fu Shi took off his thin coat like a zombie and covered Jiang Yuan with it.
His body was still shaking slightly.
His body is still warm.
Fu Shi said it to him over and over again.
"Jiang Yuan."
"Awake."
"Don't close your eyes."
Surrounded by umbrellas of different colors, it looks like flowers blooming in the rain, silently receiving irrigation.
Him too.
Jiang Yuan was lying on the concrete floor, no longer with the smiling look he used to have.
But it is cold and emotionless.
…
Fu Dongsheng and Chen Jinping rushed to the hospital immediately after receiving the news.
In the hospital corridor, Fu Shi was sitting on a chair.
He was soaked to the skin, with water stains all around him, and the cold light cast a shadow on his extremely pale face.
Fu Dongsheng quickly took off his coat, took off Fu Shizhe's clothes on the spot, and put them on him.
He was like a puppet, being manipulated by others.
The rescue light went out and the doctor came out and shook his head regretfully.
Fu Shize seemed not to understand. He grabbed Fu Dongsheng's arm and spoke irrationally: "Can you save him?"
His words trembled: "Don't you know a lot of professors in medical schools?"
"Dad, Mom, can you save him?"
Even if you are in a vegetative state, even if you have disabled limbs.
Either result is fine, just don't let him die.
He is my only brother.
Don't let him die.
He knew it was impossible.
He had received a good scientific education, and he knew that all his questions at this moment were just futile struggles.
But he kept asking them.
…
The police found the spitted pills in Jiang Yuan’s work desk drawer, which he had kept in a jar.
It turned out that Jiang Yuan himself did not swallow the medicine.
There was a note on the drone on the table, with Jiang Yuan's handwriting on it.
【It is a personal behavior and has nothing to do with others. 】
Jiang Yuan's parents didn't see him for the last time.
When the two got off the plane and rushed to the hospital, Jiang Yuan had already been pushed into the morgue.
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