35 Heart-to-heart communication (cultivation)
"Don't go. Stay tonight."
Cui Huaifeng didn't know whether she heard what he just said, but it didn't matter if she did.
Jiang Yan didn't ask any further questions. He just stood before Cui Huaifeng, bewildered, like a child who had made a mistake. He said in a muffled voice, "Huaifeng, I was rude just now. I apologize. I didn't intend to do this to the end. I just wanted to be close to you. I know you're annoyed. I will try my best to control myself in the future."
Cui Huaifeng's complexion looked much better. Just when he was planning to let the matter go as usual, he suddenly had an idea and looked up at Jiang Yan.
Jiang Yan's pretty face was a bit dejected and uneasy. Her eyes, which were originally as bright as jade, were dimmed by thick eyelashes, and she looked listless like a wilted puppy.
Cui Huaifeng wondered, had he really looked at Jiang Yan when he was emotional?
It seems not.
Cui Huaifeng tried hard to recall the fragments of his daily life and their interactions. Most of the time, he didn't want to pay attention to her. Although he looked at her sometimes, with anger, joy, disgust or indifference, he just looked at her and didn't think deeply about it.
She was such a proud and strong person, but now she felt humble and uneasy. How many times had she been like this without even realizing it?
She should apologize for her mistake, but at this moment, he looked at her lost face and instinctively didn't want to make her sad.
Jiang Yan obviously didn't expect Cui Huaifeng to stare at her so bluntly for so long. She asked uncomfortably, "What's wrong?"
Cui Huaifeng felt an impulse in his heart, and he really wanted to say to Jiang Yan, "Maybe we didn't know each other well enough before."
But the words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say them. He was too shy to express himself directly.
Cui Huaifeng opened his mouth, but finally replied with a simple "Nothing."
Cui Huaifeng's hesitation made Jiang Yan even more anxious, but she didn't dare to ask any further questions.
Cui Huaifeng felt uncomfortable seeing Jiang Yan's anxious and worried expression, and tried in vain to make amends: "I'm really not angry anymore, I just don't know what to say."
Jiang Yan struggled internally for a moment, then said helplessly, "I'm glad you're not angry. I'll go to the next room to take care of some business."
"good."
——
Jiang Yan was sitting at the table, reviewing official documents that had been delivered by express horse. Halfway through, he couldn't help but get distracted.
Huaifeng seems to be acting strangely today, yet he seems no different from usual. Is it because of what happened this morning? Or is there something else going on?
At the time, he'd called the child's mother a jerk... But hadn't he said Zhao Qiuxin had done him a favor? How could she blame him? It couldn't be because she'd left him and the child alone after her death, right?
It was just a reunion, and the two of them tacitly agreed not to mention anything related to Zhao Qiuxin again. Why did Huaifeng suddenly think of her? Could it be that because he made him angry, he suddenly remembered the good things about his ex-wife?
Jiang Yan's fingers clenched around the pen, her brow furrowed as she read the document, feeling unhappy about everything. The handwriting on this one was terrible, the description on that one was vague, and why was this report so detailed?
Jiang Yan put the pen down heavily, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a while, when his emotions had calmed down, he picked up the pen again and replied.
An hour later, the official documents and letters were sent back to Beijing.
Jiang Yan leaned back in his chair, looking up at the simple roof in a daze.
Let’s not talk about Zhao Qiuxin for now, let’s think about Huaifeng first.
In her impression, Huaifeng appeared cold and didn't like to open up to others, but she knew that hidden beneath his icy exterior was a temperament warmer than the water in a spring pond.
He was always tolerant of me. It seemed like no matter what I did, he was willing to tolerate it. He had feelings for me. Of course, perhaps because his father died young and his mother doted on him, he was used to swallowing his grievances alone. Or perhaps, he was forced to compromise because of his fear of his own power and strong personality.
She had thought he would always let her do what she wanted. But Huai Feng reacted strongly this morning, and then became unusually silent.
What exactly is the problem?
Jiang Yan raised his arms and placed them on his forehead, closing his eyes tiredly.
He said at the time, have I ever considered his feelings?
No?
Didn't he know how much he loved her? How could she not consider his feelings? How could she not understand his temperament, even his thoughts?
wrong……
Every detail from Cui Huaifeng's arrival to the present day flashed through Jiang Yan's mind. Hidden deep in her memory, details of their interactions, barely noticeable even during their free time, flashed through her mind.
What happened at that time when Cui Huaifeng's sad expression was ignored by himself intentionally or unintentionally?
When she forced him into her house, she never considered whether he was willing or not. Initially, he was forced into her pleasure, resentful and unhappy. She knew that, but she could only feel at ease by forcefully possessing him. Later, after a quarrel over rumors, she knew he was trapped by the shadow of her mother's concubines. And there were many more...
Of course I knew what he was thinking, but I knew he didn't want to, but I still did it...
A voice deep in her heart was asking her, yes, have she really considered his feelings?
Jiang Yan slowly opened his eyes.
Why did I treat him like this?
She actually knew the answer, but she had never faced it.
From the moment she knew he was marrying Zhao Qiuxin, jealousy and hatred had taken root deep in her heart, eroding her sanity and growing wildly. The painful, repressed emotions dominated her for a long time, making it difficult for her to control herself.
Yes, I was jealous of Zhao Qiuxin to the point of madness, but Zhao Qiuxin was already dead.
It's over anyway, isn't it?
The most important thing is that he is by her side now.
Jiang Yan thought for a long time, and when he came to his senses, the sun was setting.
————
When it was time for dinner, Jiang Yan ate for free as usual, but he was no longer as joking as before.
It was rare for the dinner table to be quiet, but it was too quiet, so quiet that it felt a little deserted.
Cui Huaifeng felt uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything in the end.
After dinner, Jiang Yan helped clean up the dishes and said stiffly, "I'll go rest next door tonight."
Cui Huaifeng understood what Jiang Yan meant. Because of the conflict this morning, she wanted to avoid doing anything that would make her unhappy.
Cui Huaifeng saw her seriousness. She was a little strong, but she was also learning to change for herself.
Seeing Cui Huaifeng's lack of reaction, Jiang Yan assumed he agreed. Just as she stood up, Cui Huaifeng suddenly spoke.
"Don't go, stay tonight."
Jiang Yan paused, then reacted. She wanted to laugh but didn't dare show her joy too obviously. She restrained herself, but as if she was afraid that he would regret it, she quickly agreed, "Okay."
Cui Huaifeng laughed.
——
At night, the two of them lay on the bed with their eyes closed, but they both found it difficult to fall asleep.
The night is long, and it is a good time to negotiate.
Jiang Yan opened his eyes in the darkness and couldn't help but ask, "Huai Feng, are you asleep?"
Cui Huaifeng said softly: "No."
Jiang Yan paused, then turned his head to Cui Huaifeng, "Huaifeng, I've thought a lot about what happened this morning. I'll consider your feelings more in the future. I know words alone are not enough, and I'll prove it later."
Cui Huaifeng's heart softened. He was not a plant, and could feel that Jiang Yan cherished him, but he didn't know what to say in response. After thinking about it, he could only say "hmm".
Jiang Yan continued, "There's one more thing I wanted to tell you after we met again, but there wasn't a suitable time."
Cui Huaifeng listened quietly.
"Huaifeng, I've thought this through carefully. As long as it's your child, I'll treat it as my own. If you're still willing to spend the rest of your life with me, the child in your belly will be my only bloodline. I'll have it recorded in the Jiang family's imperial genealogy and protect it for a lifetime of peace and safety."
The royal family has always been obsessed with bloodline inheritance. Not to mention that Jiang Yan is the most favored prince, even for ordinary families, it is difficult to treat the children born to others as their own.
Cui Huaifeng put his hand on his lower abdomen, wanting to tell Jiang Yan the truth, but stopped himself.
Jiang Yan waited for a long time but received no response from Cui Huaifeng, so he could only whisper dryly, "I'm done."
After a while, when Jiang Yan thought Cui Huaifeng was asleep, there was movement under the quilt.
Cui Huaifeng held her hand gently.
Jiang Yan's eyes suddenly widened and he blinked in disbelief.
Cui Huaifeng rarely took the initiative. He paused and said embarrassedly, "Go to sleep."
In the darkness, Jiang Yan couldn't help but raise the corners of his lips.
"good."
【Author’s words】
Thank you to the little angels who voted for me or provided me with nutrient solution between 2024-07-16 09:00:00 and 2024-07-19 07:00:00~
Thanks to the little angel who irrigated the nutrient solution: 1 bottle of Weizhinengzhizhongzhi;
Thank you very much for your support. I will continue to work hard!
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