Chapter 699 No Longer Holding a Grievance
“You’ve come to this point, it’s time you tasted the sweetness of love between a man and a woman. Only then will I feel that you are a living, breathing human being, just like us,” Li Dazui said in a condescending tone. “You’ve been working like a slave in the Jiang family since you were a teenager. Just when things were finally starting to look up, your man abandoned you.”
"If you're too indecisive, you won't even dare to date someone who treats you well, right?"
In the dim starlight of the night, Song Chunxue held the alfalfa without saying a word. A gentle breeze lifted the hem of her clothes, making her silhouette appear particularly thin.
I never expected Li Dazui to say something like that.
Perhaps, she subconsciously knocked on his door because they were both in the same boat and understood each other's situation more clearly.
Perhaps she just wanted to hear him say something.
Li Dazui reached out and grabbed a handful of apricot leaves from the roadside, then chewed them in his mouth.
She vomited it up shortly afterward and cried with her brows furrowed.
“I knew it. The word ‘widow’ has bound you like a rope for so many years, and it’s not easy to get rid of it. Besides, you’ve raised five children and treated yourself like a donkey. Which man in our village can compete with you? Sometimes you probably even think of yourself as a man and don’t know how to be a woman in front of men anymore.”
These words made Song Chunxue chuckle. "It's not that bad."
When she recalled how she flirted with Xie Zheng while drunk, she felt that she was a normal woman.
"Then don't overthink it. Go ahead and do your best. Don't keep bringing up your age or belittling yourself with your past. In my eyes, you've suddenly become enlightened and chosen by God to cultivate. Be spontaneous and follow your heart. If you don't want to cultivate in the future and want to be a divine couple, that's fine too. Don't end up like me, like I'm defecating sheep dung, with regrets all over my backside."
Surrounded by swaying trees, a widow and a widower stood under an old apricot tree, and their conversation made them feel a little better.
Wasn't Li Dazui saying this to himself?
He was used to being alone, and suddenly someone came to listen to his true feelings, and the weight in his heart seemed to lessen.
"Alright, go back and get some sleep. If you've figured things out, then go back." Li Dazui sighed. "I'm not as good as you. I'll wait until I've figured things out before I start jumping around again."
The jujube-red horse chewed on alfalfa with gusto, and Song Chunxue asked softly, "Where are you going?"
Li Dazui turned to look at her halfway through his yawn.
"Home is where the heart is. You'll know where to go when you figure it out. Don't delay too long. Things aren't peaceful outside lately. Who knows when you might go to your death? You should hurry."
"Squeak~"
Hearing Li Dazui close the courtyard gate, Song Chunxue returned to the long-abandoned courtyard.
The room was gloomy and colder than outside, so she simply grabbed an old quilt, lay down between two large haystacks, and went to sleep.
...
"Snoring...snoring..."
It's so crowded and noisy.
It felt warm and fuzzy around my head.
Something was snoring in her ear.
Song Chunxue opened her eyes and was startled by the bright blue bed curtains above her head.
She blinked before she realized what it was—the sky, a clear, bright blue, illuminating everyone's hearts.
She stretched and felt a warm, cozy thing under the blanket, which instantly sent chills down her spine.
"Snoring..."
Turning her head, she saw two small tabby cats nestled on either side of her shoulder, purring beside her.
Phew... that was close, thankfully it wasn't anything scary.
When I lifted the blanket, I saw there were some near her legs as well.
It was furry, and she couldn't help but reach out and touch it.
"Meow~ Meow~"
On top of a haystack not far away, a skinny mother cat was squatting, anxiously calling to her kittens and staring at Song Chunxue warily.
"They're such a worry, coming all the way to my place. I must be terrified." As she spoke, Song Chunxue took half a steamed bun from a bundle beside her, broke it into pieces, and threw it a short distance away.
The mother cat stretched out a paw and sniffed forward, but when she realized it was food, she still didn't dare to go closer.
Song Chunxue placed a few more pieces of steamed bun next to her. The snoring kitten woke up groggily, instinctively sniffed the buns, and began to wolf them down.
Because they hadn't eaten enough for a long time, they were thin, and you could clearly feel their spines beneath their fur when you touched them.
She leaned to the side, lazily watching the cats eat and chant scriptures.
"mother!"
"Mother! Mother, you're back?"
Just as she was about to settle down comfortably and enjoy the warm morning sun, the eldest brother's voice came, accompanied by the sound of him pushing open one door after another.
Honestly, she didn't want to move at all, so she simply kept quiet.
Anyway, no one noticed her lying here.
"Mother, mother!"
The eldest brother couldn't find her in the yard, so he went outside and stood on the low wall by the field, calling out loudly.
Song Chunxue covered her ears and frowned. She realized that her mother was different from before; she was now annoyed by such annoying sounds.
She sat up abruptly, growling irritably, "What are you yelling about? I'm not going to get lost. Why aren't you busy with your own things this early in the morning? What are you doing bothering me?"
The eldest brother, Jiang Yeming, jumped down from the low wall in the distance and excitedly ran onto the haystack.
The cats were so frightened that they scattered and ran away with bits of bread in their mouths.
"Don't come up, you'll scare the cats away."
This haystack was much more comfortable than the kang (heated brick bed), so she was too lazy to get up. She propped her head up and looked at the eldest brother, "What do you want?"
"Mother, you're back now, why didn't you look for me? There are plenty of empty rooms, why did you choose to lie down here?" The eldest son sniffed. "Are you being so distant with me?"
“I like to lie down here and sleep. Your house is too noisy, so I don’t like going there,” she said, looking at her eldest son with disdain. “Alright, alright, I’m not being distant. I’m just used to being alone and want to lie down in peace and quiet for a while. Don’t bother me today. I’ll go to your house to see the kids tomorrow.”
The eldest son was dejected, asking, "Isn't Mother looking at me?"
"Can't you see it?" She put her arm behind her head and asked casually, "Do you see my chestnut horse?"
"He's broken free of the reins and is grazing in the fields down there. Mother, go home and lie down. I'll have Da Hong cook for you." The eldest son held the wheat stalks and snapped them off piece by piece. "Don't lie here, or people will laugh at you."
"Let them laugh at me, I just like lying here." She waved her hand. "I just wanted to come back here, so I came to visit. You guys go about your business, and don't bother me unless it's important."
She finally understood why those monks and nuns later stopped having much contact with their families.
Spiritual practitioners naturally have fewer worries, act spontaneously, and think simply. But those entangled in worldly affairs will argue with you for ages over even the smallest things, which is incredibly annoying.
She doesn't want to live with her child anymore; she doesn't like crowds.
"But Mother..."
"Get me a bucket of water and let my horse drink. I'll tidy up the yard and come find you later." She said gently, "I'm a Taoist priest now, so I think things through simply. Don't think I'm being distant with you by crying like this. A man shouldn't be so long-winded. Go do your thing."
"Oh, okay."
The eldest brother glanced at her and ran off to feed the horses.
Song Chunxue suddenly realized that her former resentment towards her boss was gone, and she didn't have much to worry about anymore.
Just like the bond between mother and son, all the debts of love between them from past lives have been repaid.
Perhaps we will never meet again in the next life.
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