Chapter 500 The Morbidity of the Soul
Whether to stay in the post-apocalyptic era is perhaps a question too early for me to decide. I still don't know much about the truth of the post-apocalyptic era, I haven't even found the little bowl yet, and many questions remain unanswered.
Perhaps the apocalyptic era I live in isn't the real future. Or perhaps, as I've speculated in the past, this is actually the afterlife, and I accidentally passed through the Gate of Abyss, which the turbid life force had tried to open a thousand times but failed.
Right now, I should focus on the mission I've set for myself, which is to reunite with Xiaowan. After all, whether I stay or leave, I won't abandon Xiaowan, who's wandering alone in this apocalyptic world.
To do this, I must first restore my power of words so that I can successfully question the wandering spirit on the second floor.
I went to the large round table on the first floor of the safe house, pulled up a chair, and sat down, gazing at the swaying white light of blessing. The cartographer had previously mentioned that large-scale blessings could calm the surrounding spacetime chaos. Could it be that this small-scale blessing before me also possessed the same mechanism, but its effect was too weak to be manifested?
From the blessed light, I can feel a pure, natural rhythm; in other words, a kind of order similar to the modern world. The failure of the power of words stems from the chaos of the spacetime environment. If there were a way to strengthen this blessing, perhaps an environment where the power of words could be used could be created.
I tried to touch this blessing with my own thoughts.
I've had this idea ever since I first saw the blessing, because it resembles a flame mimicking light, and both fire and light fall within the scope of my superpowers. I only temporarily shelved the idea before because I didn't want to cause unforeseen complications on my journey due to my own actions. Now that the conditions are right, I have no choice but to test it out.
After a brief contact, I quickly came to two conclusions based on the feedback I received.
First, my superpowers cannot affect this blessing. Although I cannot analyze the essence of the blessing for the time being, it is indeed something that only visually resembles fire and light, but in reality, it is a completely mysterious substance whose nature I cannot understand at all.
It's not that I can manipulate something just because it looks like light and fire. It's like someone drawing a ball of fire on a computer using graphic design software; I can't actually manipulate the fire in that image—or maybe I just haven't tried it, and I can actually manipulate the flames I draw? Anyway, it's enough to just get the idea.
Secondly, I sensed that the area surrounding the blessing, a very small region extending outwards from it by a few centimeters, was at a relatively stable level. It was so subtle that it wouldn't be noticeable without careful mental contact.
In addition, although it is unrelated to the blessing itself, I would like to mention it here because it is related to me personally.
My soul seems to have developed a subtle ailment.
As the saying goes, "Like entering a fish market, you eventually stop smelling the stench," meaning that if you stay in a place with a strong odor for a long time, you gradually become unaware of the smell. The same principle applies to how difficult it is for people to smell their own body odor and bad breath under normal circumstances. I've spent a little too long in this apocalyptic era, and I'm completely unaware that I've been tainted by some of the chaotic changes that have occurred to me.
I noticed that the surface of my soul had become distorted, as if mold had formed. This is just a metaphor; the soul is not a physical thing, and it's difficult to truly describe its state to someone who cannot perceive it, just as it's difficult for a normal person to describe a color picture to a congenitally blind person. If I were to consider my soul as a pastry, this pastry is now rough and frosty.
Perhaps this is a distortion I've picked up while analyzing and adapting to chaotic spacetime; those who gaze into the abyss will also be gazed into by the abyss.
The thought flashed through my mind, and flames burned across my soul, instantly erasing the "rough edges." The lesion had only occurred on the very surface; this level of distortion was insufficient to truly affect my soul.
My intuition tells me that if this disease penetrates deeply enough, it will gradually erase my memories, alter my personality, and drive me into madness. The diseased soul will then change the nature of its magical power, thereby rewriting its own life nature and reducing me to a non-self.
It is almost certain that this is what is known as the "infection of madness".
Such a subtle and imperceptible change could easily affect even a fully-fledged demon hunter, let alone one at the Formation, Existence, Decay, or Void level, if no appropriate countermeasures are taken. In the end, the demon hunter would be helpless and become a demon of karma.
However, to the Great Impermanence, this kind of soul ailment is nothing more than a minor cold.
Even without this current situation, I could have detected the pathology in my soul long before it became irreparable, and then resolved the problem in one fell swoop. This is not a conceited or arrogant thought, but a conclusion I reached after calm reflection.
So now I can't help but have another question – can this "natural phenomenon" that occurs in the apocalypse really turn impermanence into great evil?
Even if it cannot manifest the laws of heaven and earth in the apocalypse, the Great Impermanence should not be swallowed up by the external world's weather, becoming a muddled and confused karmic demon like other survivors.
Another mystery has been recorded in my mental memo.
By comparing the relatively stable spacetime within a few centimeters of the Blessing with the external spacetime, I analyzed that the progress of the chaotic spacetime order in the apocalyptic era was also greatly accelerated.
A moment later, I heard a sound coming downstairs in the distance. It was Tanxiang coming down.
"I was a little scared being alone in the room, so I came down to check..." Sandalwood said awkwardly, "Where is the others?"
I glanced at him.
Unlike before, after slightly grasping the order of space and time, the noise feedback from my senses has decreased slightly. Therefore, I can now perceive relatively more effective information than before. For example, I can vaguely perceive the soul of the sandalwood incense, as well as the emotions that surface on the surface of that soul.
Confusion, helplessness, unease, vigilance, envy... Tanxiang's emotions seemed to have stabilized, but in reality, turbulent undercurrents were surging. He was likely still in a state of having his worldview shattered, feeling as if he were in a dream, and hoping to wake up from the nightmare as soon as possible.
On the other hand, he had already realized that this was not a nightmare, but a reality that he would have to face in the future, and his heart was filled with unbearable pain.
At the same time, some signs of disease appeared on the surface of his soul, which were more serious than those of mine.
This is mostly because he doesn't use his real name, but rather a false one when communicating with us.
Over time, he may forget the name that symbolizes his real life and only remember the online nickname "Sandalwood".
"Sandalwood, you'd better use your real name from now on," I kindly reminded you.
"Huh?" Sandalwood was taken aback by what he said.
"Zhuang Cheng is right."
The cartographer came down from upstairs and said to the sandalwood incense, "You may still be wary of your surroundings and don't want to reveal your real name... but you'll definitely regret it later."
"Um..." Sandalwood changed the subject, "By the way... how much food is left in the safe house?"
The cartographer didn't press him, replying casually, "It's only enough for those two children to have one more meal at most."
"So little!?" Sandalwood exclaimed in surprise. "Then why did we eat so much before?"
"After all, this is a ceremony to welcome our new companions, so we can't be too shabby. Besides, those few supplies won't last long anyway, so let's have a good meal first, and then go out and collect more supplies," the cartographer said. "Don't worry, you just need to stay in the safe house with the two kids. Zhuang Cheng and I will be in charge of the expedition. Zhuang Cheng, is that alright?"
"no problem."
As I responded, I observed the cartographer's soul and emotions.
The cartographer probably never expected that I possessed this ability; he was completely exposed to me without even realizing it.
And this is no small matter.
The cartographer's emotions were laid bare before my eyes, and unlike Tanxiang's merely helpless and confused state, malice towards me and Tanxiang surfaced in the cartographer's heart.
I had actually anticipated this outcome.
The cartographer is very likely a Blessed Monk, and every Blessed Monk, like a karmic demon or a modern-day oddity, possesses an instinct to hunt humans. Whether recovering from injury or becoming stronger, they cannot avoid the hurdle of devouring human souls.
The seemingly friendly cartographer may have devoured the souls of other survivors in the past in order to gain power, and experienced intense pleasure and wonderful illusions from it.
If he doesn't see any other humans as prey, then something is really fishy; something unusual must be going on.
However, this man, who harbors a cruel devil within, actually sheltered two defenseless children in his safe house, was willing to share his survival supplies with them, and even had them guard important blessings for him when he went out. This is enough to reveal the kind nature of his character.
Although she was given an easy job guarding the house, Sandalwood did not show any joy. Instead, she asked, "Do we always have to risk going out to collect supplies to get food and water? Let's put water aside for now. Can't we get food by growing crops? After the apocalypse, there should be a lot of abandoned farmland, right?"
“Unfortunately, no,” the cartographer sighed. “Not only do the unseen monsters prevent us from staying in one place for long, but crop seeds also cannot take root and sprout in the post-apocalyptic land, as if the very vitality of nature has been drained by the monsters…”
"Nomadism and hunting are not viable options either. Have you noticed that we haven't seen a single small animal along the way? Apart from the strange creatures scattered across the mountains and the few human survivors, as far as I've seen with my own eyes and heard from others, there is no other living thing on this land we live on. It is a veritable wasteland."
"If you really want to say what else is alive, then it's that maggots and flies mysteriously grow on corpses, and occasionally you can even see some cockroaches. But those are less like living creatures and more like a bizarre phenomenon. They appear and disappear inexplicably, and they are all highly poisonous; eating too many will kill you. No matter how hungry you are, I don't recommend you eat maggots."
Aside from the supernatural and humans, there are no other living things. Farming and hunting are impossible? The harsh conditions of the post-apocalyptic era have once again shattered my expectations, reaching a new and absurd level.
This is no longer just pushing the remaining humans to the brink of death; it makes one wonder why there are still survivors wandering the world in this era.
After hearing this, Tanxiang trembled all over, and beads of fear appeared on his forehead. Then, as if he had mustered up his courage, he said, "Doesn't that mean... doesn't that mean that the only animal that humans can hunt now is themselves?"
"You're quick-witted in strange places, aren't you?" the cartographer said in surprise. "That's right, just as you thought, some survivors hunt other survivors after they become so hungry that they go insane, supplementing their diet with fresh meat from their own kind."
"But cannibalism is an inhuman act just like that of a karmic demon. In a sense, it can also be seen as an imitation of a karmic demon. Such a crazy practice seems to attract strange effects, which will inevitably accelerate the process of one's own madness infection, and thus quickly lead to one's own descent into a karmic demon."
Tanxiang, however, was not at all relieved. He gritted his teeth and said, "Um... may I ask a question? It might be a bit presumptuous."
"Go ahead and speak," the cartographer nodded.
“Mr. Cartographer, you must also be a superpowered person, right?” Sandalwood said.
“Strictly speaking, I am a Blessed Monk,” the cartographer said frankly. “Although I’m not entirely clear on your definition of a superhuman, I’m probably similar to the kind of person you’re thinking of. Zhuang Cheng should also be a Blessed Monk, but he seems to have lost a lot of his memories.”
Sandalwood seemed to have other questions to ask, but couldn't resist asking another one out of curiosity: "Zhuang Cheng's ability is to launch fireballs... So, Mr. Cartographer, what is your ability?"
(End of this chapter)
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