Chapter 232 Antimatter Legion
"You hated facing Aha, so you turned your back, and only then did you feel a little calmer.
“There are many unimportant things. Most of the things in the world are not that important.”
It seems to be answering Aha's question, but it is more than that. In fact, if Aha had not chased you, you would not have interacted with Him.
You don't watch Aha, not because you hate him.
The answer is simple.
--opportunity.
Even though so much time has passed, you will never forget the moment you first learned of Aha's existence. Because you and An Su were on opposite sides of the material world, it was Aha who built the first bridge.
He is an existence sandwiched between you and your sister, and such an existence has never been able to get close to you.
Because you don't allow it.
In the past, there were people like this. But you excluded them all. They knew everything about your past, tried to read your thoughts and understand the reasons for your turbulent emotions...
You don't allow such people to appear around you.
Why?
Because of fear.
Any opinion of this kind of person about you is a burden, which you neither need nor accept. So, after trying everything, they will suddenly find that you are too far apart in spirit.
You fear the actions of those who approach you, and you have no way of considering their emotions. Just like a hedgehog in winter, afraid of the cold, but also afraid of its companions' thorns, but in order to keep warm, it has to stay close...
At the end of the story, the hedgehogs will find a suitable distance so that they will not hurt each other but can still get warm.
However, you never leave room for this outcome in the first place.
According to my sister, it's because you're afraid of giving the other person emotional feedback. This is both troublesome and a problem for you.
Unfortunately, you can't.
What kind of emotion is needed to give the other person satisfactory feedback?
...Seeing Aha repeatedly reminds you of your sister. Of course, you thank Him, and even walk with Him, so you understand that you are very similar beings.
But, but this will only make you more scared.
Everything has its own opposites and unity, and even the Star Gods are not immune to this. For example, the [Education Society] and the [Genius Club], the [Mirror Viewer] and the [Pure Beauty Knight], the [Incinerator] and the [Rememberer]...
Also, [The Masked Fool] and [The Mourning Actor].
The situation of the followers corresponds to the two sides of the Star God. What you fear is the other side of Aha.
At this moment, you are standing in the center of [Taiyi's Dream], and it seems that all the lights of Pinocchio are gathered at your feet. It is not an illusion.
The clown's mask seems to express both joy and sorrow. He looks at you without saying a word. He is not imitating a wooden figure, looking for flaws, or brewing mockery.
Now, you can clearly perceive the thing you fear.
The phantom of the past shrouds you under the clown's gaze, as if you have walked through a long and rainy day, but are still left alone to face the damp ground.
Shipe is right, you were incomplete from the beginning.
You cannot complete such incompleteness, and the same goes for An Su.
Because your missing piece corresponds to the other's existence. This wasn't a pre-arranged agreement, no promises, no innate connection. It was simply a long process of adjustment, bloodshed on both sides, and the inevitable tug-of-war that led to them becoming the first pair of hedgehogs to keep each other warm.
There is no formal agreement between you, and contracts to sever ties appear more often.
Put your index fingers together and cut three times.
One person advocates and the other cooperates.
It is also informal because this is the bottom line given to the other party in every contract.
It means: Even if you do something bad like this, I will still stay for you.
But even so, you will not feel fear. What scares you is——
Tears.
"Yes, you are afraid of tears.
Not just others', but your own as well.
When you were 14 years old, you cried beside your sister's hospital bed after she survived a car accident.
You cry, she laughs.
Just like every time she bit your face when you were little, every time you looked at each other, every photo you took together... What's interesting is that even in the emotional messages she brought to A-ha, she doesn't allow anyone to make you sad.
——Don’t bully him.
——Don’t make him sad.
If it was An Su who faced Ah Ha, she would definitely say, "Your question is meaningless."
[but--]
"The only important thing is—"
[As long as it's A Chong.]
"elder sister."
[They all make sense.]
You see nothing in your eyes, except for the remnant phantoms from another dimension. In the extremely deep and dark colors, thousands of blue-green butterfly shadows break out from the shadows. They are the butterflies you once transformed into.
As you stretched out your hands, at the moment when they were about to touch you, the strong golden red color devoured the warm and bright colors in the faded world like a burning ember, and then, you saw your sister.
When you see her, the first thing you think of isn't the time you desperately went looking for your sister out of desperation, or the fireworks you set off for her during the holidays when you were away training alone. It also isn't the time you held hands tightly together in your childhood, the flowers you stubbornly gave her, or the game "Guess Who I Am" where you both wore the same clothes...
But tears.
——"I can't leave you alone."
because……
——"Your tears can only come to me."
You left your crying heart to your sister, so without her, you were left with only dry eyes, stagnant tears, and withered tear glands.
She left the ability to laugh to you, so that when she doesn't see you, she will feel disdainful and have no heart to laugh.
Therefore, there are many unimportant things, such as old friends you have met, the unforgettable feelings in other people’s stories, someone’s unforgettable white moonlight... People and things that you are unable to act on and are not interested in are not important.
"My sister, the other half of my soul, my mouthpiece, my standard for judging intimacy..."
[My brother, my host, my eyes, my senses that connect me to the world...]
The imaginary river hangs upside down, you raise your hand with your palm facing upwards, and the shadow's hand is placed right above it. A thin white flower grows out in the starry light, as bright as the moon.
Now, the last question.
[Xiaoyao] was born from the collision of the forces of [Tree of Imaginary Numbers] and [Ocean of Quantum]. It is your essence, but not the path you follow. Yet, you still walked on it.
The world refuses to give you power. You are a leaf in the sea, a drop of dew on a tree. Therefore, therefore, "miracle" is the concept that should belong to you.
So, which path will you take?
——You chose [Xiaoyao].
Just as An Su chose [Creation].
——You all changed your destiny at this moment.
"I saw you, which means I succeeded, right?" The shadow did not dissipate, and the face with no pupils could be seen turned towards you.
At this moment, the world was silent, as if there was no one in the world.
“…”
"How interesting! That kind of daydream-like power actually has a chance to come true." She suddenly laughed. "My stupid brother! Did you do this secretly?"
Without waiting for your reply, An Su continued, "To... convey the delusion of every poor, unreachable person. Yeah, that's something you would do."
You habitually pout.
"You're still so clueless, always looking so careless and yet so nervous about protecting yourself. How can you be a cool bad guy like this?"
“…”
"[Xiaoyao]... Let me guess, why did you initially come up with the concept of this destiny?" She smiled a smile that looked strange because her pupils were invisible.
"...What about you? How can you be [Creation]?" You don't want to be suppressed.
"You're not being candid. You haven't made any progress at all. If you don't want to speak up, then I'll speak for you." That's what she said, but if you improved and became a good talker, she'd probably be unhappy.
“…”
Why did one choose the path of "freedom"? This question is too far-fetched; it is just a matter of a thought.
Wanting freedom, wanting to escape, wanting to be unrestrained...can all be the answer.
She always looks like she has everything under control and is full of confidence. You lower your eyes, not because you feel guilty, but because you see that she is overconfident.
"Can't it be that I just want to stay away from you?"
"Maybe. But the possibility you mentioned is meaningless."
“…”
"Anyway, you will always come to my side. Chong, can you imagine the consequences of separating the left brain and the right brain?" He said with a slightly joking tone.
You snorted, "Well, I said—"
"Because you used to like the three, four, and multi-dimensional things in science fiction, and you wanted to study them."
An Su spoke quickly, "Because I told you that higher dimensions can enter and exit lower dimensions at will, but lower dimensions cannot enter higher dimensions."
"...I know why you were created."
You couldn't help it, your eyebrows twisted and your eyes blinked many times, but they were still hot.
"Because you want to know who makes a good friend."
"Because I want a friend simulator where I can try to make friends without having to worry about making mistakes!"
After saying it all in one breath, you really wanted to cover your face with your hands, while An Su looked at you quietly with a smile on his lips.
After taking a few deep breaths, you said, "You're fine now. Not as nervous as I seemed before."
Yes, you finally remembered her madness a few times before.
"I kind of forgot. It's so rare for us to meet. Did you call me anything?"
"……elder sister."
You lowered your voice, blinked your eyes, and felt an itch on your face. Then you saw An Su slowly reach out to you and place his hands under your chin.
Looking down, I saw a few drops of water.
It's tears.
"No matter how many times I watch it... I always find it very interesting." An Su said softly without any extra expression on his face.
"A Chong, you can't see, so you don't understand." Your sister's eyes moved down from your face seriously, "You always cry with a blank expression. Every time you want to cry, your eyebrows twist this and that, as if you are turning on a switch yourself."
"After that, you suddenly lost the ability to express yourself. From what I understand, Chong, your senses are overloaded." My sister's eyes were full of compassion, and there was a faint smile on the corners of her mouth.
"Because crying is so painful, you feel uncomfortable all over." She seemed to have some understanding, "So you can only cry in front of me... because I can make you feel less uncomfortable."
Your mouth is pressed into a straight line, you want to speak but you can't.
After squirming a few times, you were finally able to speak, choking with sobs, "Sister...sister, please listen to me, they, they all think...I'm ignorant...I'm making trouble...They, hiccups, don't understand me..."
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