19. The Four Seasons
See you tomorrow!
Liang Chuling's ankle was unpigmented and she was able to jump around again.
On the day she went to the hospital, she kept feeling like she would run into Lin Jiani, and she looked around the whole way, but she didn't see her.
Li Xun asked her what she was looking for.
Liang Chuling stammered, unsure of what to say, only mentioning that she was looking for a friend who had brought her to the hospital last time.
Li Xun rarely spoke so coldly and sharply to her: "Your friend brought you to the hospital, and when you got home from the hospital, you lied to another friend and said you had just gotten out of school."
Liang Chuling chuckled: "What are you doing...! I was just worried you'd fret!"
Li Xun supported her: "As long as I don't see you, I'll worry no matter what you say. So just tell the truth, that way you'll feel less pressure."
This is so true; Liang Chuling is indeed under a lot of psychological pressure.
So even though Li Xun returned, the two didn't meet very often.
The subjective reason was that Liang Chuling felt apprehensive about returning home.
That day's confession was like him firing a shot at Li Xun; the bullet pierced through the chest but exploded in her own heart.
She had bound Li Xun to her side in a manner bordering on extortion, for which she felt ashamed but had no means to stop her. Her only means—the pre-paid kiss—was politely returned.
From then on, she was unsure how to position her hands, feet, and eyes when facing Li Xun.
Seeing her is like seeing myself in such a sorry state, seeing my impure heart, and seeing the embarrassment of being rejected.
Her pride and confusion at seventeen led her to choose temporary blindness, avoiding contact whenever possible and preferring to stay online rather than offline.
Liang Chuling is always busy; when she gets really into it, she can practice the piano for 12 hours a day. Although she has already turned down many performance invitations, some of them are out of personal favor, and she can't refuse them. This gives her an objective reason for avoiding them.
The objective reason is that Li Xun is indeed very busy, so busy that he barely has time to rest.
He hadn't considered going to a music academy before; he originally planned to apply to Stanford for psychology. He'll see what else he wants to study after graduation.
He has always had an appreciation for and a love for music, but no ambition for it. Music is his mother tongue, but it doesn't necessarily require a specific stage to express it. He doesn't have a strong desire to stand in the center of the stage or to be remembered in history.
In Li Chi's words, he was a tourist strolling leisurely in the music garden, enjoying the scenery, but with no intention of staying.
But now that the agreement has been made, he has begun to take it seriously.
Registration for Curtis opened in September and closed at the end of December—it was incredibly rushed. My previously leisurely life was instantly put on fast-forward.
Playing the piano is enjoyable, but Li Xun knows his skills are still lacking when he tries to impress Curtis with it. Composition, however, is different; it allows him to unleash his unpolished talent. Composition values ideas, inner order, and emotional expression, which will be the area Li Xun excels at.
Therefore, Li Xun's training direction changed.
Using his own and Li Chi's connections, he found a composition professor, and his life was quickly filled with activities: practicing the piano in the morning to keep his fingers active and skilled; immersing himself in the ocean of harmony, form, and orchestration in the afternoon, battling it out in the studio or library; and continuing to polish his works and study Curtis's past admission preferences and application process in the evening.
This process is not always pleasant.
Compared to Liang Chuling's keen intuition, he relied on rational analysis and repeated deliberation.
So even though Li Xun returned to China, the two still sometimes kept in touch by video chatting.
Fortunately, raising a cat doesn't require too much worry. When Li Xun isn't home, Liang Chuling can come over to take care of it. When neither of them can be home, as long as the cat food is provided and there's an automatic litter box, Chestnut can survive on its own for two or three days.
Li Chi secured a valuable opportunity for Li Xun to study under a European piano composition master for a year. The master was advanced in years and no longer taught publicly, with only a few students, but each one had left a unique mark on the music world. He was known for his keen eye for talent, focusing on uncovering the inner soul of musicians rather than refining technique.
For Li Xun, this was undoubtedly a shortcut to another realm of music. A divine calling.
Li Chi sent the relevant information to Li Xun: "The master plans to take on a student this year, to study under him for a year. I've secured a recommendation spot. It's a rare opportunity, so you should consider it yourself. If you want to go, I'll make the contact. If you go, then apply to Curtis in a year or two. Use this year to learn something."
Li Xun stared at the brief introduction in the email and remained silent for a long time.
He was moved. No one who truly loves music can resist this kind of inspiration.
And he understood what his mother meant.
She knew that whether he rekindled his love for playing the piano, returned to China, applied to a music academy, or studied composition, it was all for Liang Chuling.
Since that's the case, Li Chi hopes that Li Xun can fully catch up with Liang Chuling and stand shoulder to shoulder with her.
However, getting into a music academy can't guarantee anything. Only if Li Xun becomes a great composer will his future with Liang Chuling be safe and secure.
She experienced this kind of love, and she also lost this kind of love.
Besides being a teacher, Li Chi has another identity.
As a mother, she doesn't think this is right or reasonable, but she has not nipped it in the bud and has instead encouraged it—and she knows why.
It was because Li Xun's piano career for the first ten years or so was all for Li Chi's own sake, and Li Chi felt that she had let her son down, neither taking the time to cultivate him nor letting him go out and find a different life. Even Li Xun's schedule revolved around her.
Therefore, she respected all of Li Xun's choices. Even if his choice was to follow or to offer sacrifice, it was still his own choice.
Li Xun was not dull-witted; he understood all of this.
But a year. Europe. So far away, so long.
His promise to Liang Chuling had only just begun. If they parted now, separated by thousands of miles, time zones, and oceans, too many things would happen. The agreed-upon time was delayed, and he had barely managed to bring their paths back together. Distance would also cool everything that had just begun to heat up.
The struggle and weighing of options are like two hands, constantly pulling and tug-of-war.
After careful consideration, he ultimately declined his mother's offer.
His interest in composing music was not as strong as his interest in Liang Chuling.
Li Chi called soon after.
"Have you decided?" she asked.
"Mm," Li Xun replied.
"What's the reason?"
Li Xun didn't want to reveal the real reason aloud, as that would seem too sentimental, and he was also afraid that Li Chi might have feelings for Liang Chuling. But since they weren't face-to-face, they couldn't understand each other implicitly or communicate through eye contact, and he didn't want to lie, so he remained silent.
On the other end of the phone, Li Chi chuckled: "Still for Liang Chuling?"
Li Xun remained silent. He tacitly agreed.
Li Chi didn't press further, but simply said, "I'm offering you an opportunity, but that doesn't mean you have to follow my expectations. You have your choices, and I respect that. But, Li Xun, remember this: if you give up something you yourself have always dreamed of for her sake, then just like you declined this opportunity, if one day Liang Chuling declines you, you can't have any other thoughts. You chose this path yourself, and you have to bear the consequences. You're making a choice for yourself, do you understand?"
Li Xun nodded, even though Li Chi couldn't see him. "I understand."
He understands. Every choice comes with its own consequences.
He chose to stay and wait; these were decisions he made for himself.
Li Chi suggested that he mention this matter to Liang Chuling, so that if Liang Chuling found out through other channels later, it would cause an even bigger misunderstanding.
He spoke casually to Liang Chuling, saying that their teaching philosophies didn't align, so he declined.
Liang Chuling only heard him mention that he would be away for a year, and before she could react, she fell for his skillful technique of stirring up emotions and diverting attention.
With her eyebrows raised high, she said, "Are you alright? That was a masterclass! Why are you arguing about the teaching philosophy? As long as you learn something, that's all that matters!"
Her expression was undisguised: You don't know what's good for you!
She did feel it was a pity.
In her view, any opportunity to improve musical standards should be seized without hesitation. What does it matter if the ideas don't align? Being able to learn even a little bit is a gain.
Li Xun's easygoing and even somewhat unambitious attitude puzzled her competitive spirit, and she even felt a little disappointed in him.
Li Xun didn't explain further: "Well, maybe I'm just picky."
Liang Chuling shook her head: "What a waste."
Her preconceived notions about Li Xun were reinforced, and she still felt regret. After thinking for a moment, she continued, "Don't be so regretful later that you suddenly realize your mistake and regret it too late!"
Seeing her heartbroken expression, Li Xun laughed with great interest: "Wow, that's amazing! Her level of education, her vocabulary of idioms, and her depth of thought."
Liang Chuling was so angry that she grimaced.
Ms. Ma arrived home three days after that phone call, looking haggard and anxious.
It was raining outside, and Madam Ma didn't even have time to put down her luggage before coming over to check on Liang Chuling's feet. Her soft hand stroked Liang Chuling's cheek, carrying a warm fragrance: "Baby, why didn't you tell Mommy how you got like this? You just said you fell. Mommy's heart is breaking."
Liang Chuling didn't dodge: "It's alright, it'll be over soon."
Madam Ma leaned close to Liang Chuling and said, "Chuling, Mom knows you've been wronged. Your father has a bit of a temper and sometimes speaks without thinking. You're the apple of his eye, how could he not love you? It's just that his way of doing things is wrong."
Liang Chuling didn't say anything.
“But darling, we’re family. Family doesn’t hold grudges overnight, right? Look, your dad was just angry for a moment. He suspended your card and transferred the driver. He’s just sulking with you, like a little kid.” Madam Mom gently patted Liang Chuling’s hand. “Mom knows you didn’t mean to talk back to him; you’re just in a bad mood, right? Kids will be kids, they all have their tantrums. But sometimes we need to give him a way out. Your dad has a hard time supporting this family; we need to be understanding, right?”
Liang Chuling lowered her eyelashes, staring at their clasped hands. Her mother's hands were warm and soft.
"Chuling, I'm telling you this not to pressure you. I'm worried that if your relationship with your father really sours, what will you do then? Besides professional skills, what about recommendation letters and background assessments? They all require family support and endorsement. And those important international competitions—the judging panel is a complex web of relationships. I'm not saying he can definitely do anything, but we can't take any risks. Besides, my investments are only sustainable because of your father's network of connections. What if he really abandons us?"
Ms. Ma stopped and squeezed Liang Chuling's hand tightly: "Mom doesn't want you to ruin your future because of a moment of anger. Isn't that a terrible thing?"
Liang Chuling raised her head and looked into her mother's beautiful eyes.
In fact, Li Xun's eyes look very similar to Madam's. They have very thin and narrow double eyelids that fork upwards at the outer corner of the eye, close to the root of the eyelashes. They do not reflect light, but only cast shadows, like a mark on the surface of water blown by the wind. They are so thin that Liang Chuling feels that she could cut them open with her fingertips, making them seem inexplicably fragile.
These are eyes that are not easily noticed.
"So?" Liang Chuling asked.
“So why don’t you call Dad?” Mom immediately chimed in. “Just tell him you know you were wrong. What can’t be forgiven between a father and daughter? Once you’ve talked it out, everything will be back on track. He’ll feel better and naturally treat you even better. He’ll also pay more attention to everything you do. Only then will Mom feel at ease.”
Ms. Ma took out her phone, dialed Liang's father's number, and handed it to Liang Chuling. Liang Chuling glanced at it and saw that the contact name was "husband".
"Come on, make a call, for your mother's sake, and for your own."
Looking into Madam Ma's eyes, which were swirling with emotion and her breath falling, Liang Chuling felt as if she were trapped in a ball of cotton, surrounded by pressure from all sides, yet unable to find a foothold to retaliate. Her words also became unclear, sinking in with her.
She didn't take the phone immediately, nor did Ms. Ma withdraw her hand. Instead, she continued, "Honey, Mommy has a health problem."
Liang Chuling suddenly became clear-headed and listened attentively with her eyes.
“I went for a physical exam a few days ago, and the doctor said that my mother has a tumor in her uterus.”
Liang Chuling's knowledge of this word came from some news reports, usually associated with chemotherapy, hair loss, and death. She sat up straight and reached out—not to take the phone, but to grab Ms. Ma's wrist.
Ms. Ma let her hold on: "Don't be afraid, the tumor is benign and is more related to endocrine and emotional factors. The surgery is not complicated. It's best to schedule the surgery as soon as possible."
She didn't need to say anything more; Liang Chuling wasn't stupid. Liang's father could contact the best specialists and hospitals, but it depended on whether he was willing to do so.
It strikes at life itself, and no one can resist it.
She needs a lot, and an apology is the cheapest way to get it.
Liang Chuling quickly made a call, which was answered just as quickly. On the other end, Liang's father remained deliberately silent.
Liang Chuling: "Dad, I'm sorry."
A satisfied hum came from the other end of the phone: "You know you were wrong?"
"Yes. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. It was my fault for being inconsiderate."
"Now you know you're being disobedient? Wouldn't it have been better if you had listened to me earlier? You had to make things unpleasant for everyone! Let me tell you, Liang Chuling, I gave you the best life and raised you, not so you could upset me! Focus on playing your piano, stop learning those useless things! If you do it again, see if I'll still care about you!"
Liang Chuling listened in silence, while her mother nodded encouragingly and mouthed, "Just listen, just listen."
"Alright, it's good that you know you were wrong. Remember this lesson!"
"Understood," Liang Chuling replied.
Liang Chuling handed the phone back to Ms. Ma.
Ms. Ma took the phone, hugged Liang Chuling tightly, and kissed her on the forehead.
"My sweet baby! Thank you, baby, that's right! See how simple it is, once it's explained, everything is fine!" In a great mood, she started planning, "When your foot is better, Mommy will take you to see the new styles. Girls should always look pretty."
Liang Chuling let her hug her: "You must have the surgery as soon as possible. I'll go with you."
"good!"
It's late at night, and the rain still hasn't stopped.
Ms. Ma was lying on the bed next to her, still telling her about her travel experiences and how she had already made an appointment with the best doctor, so there was no need to worry.
As Liang Chuling listened, her eyelids began to droop, but Li Xun's face flashed through her mind. He said he was coming to the affiliated high school to see the professor tomorrow, and that he would see her tomorrow.
"See you tomorrow" is a very good phrase.
Li Xun is a very safe person.
[Author's Note]
Don't worry, the plot of Li Xun refusing the piano composer won't cause any spoilers later. Since Li Chi said that he chose this path himself, made this choice himself, and can't shirk responsibility onto anyone else, then this matter won't burden Chu Ling. Watch with peace of mind.
I'll listen to Li Chi!
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