Chapter 17
Arguments and reconciliations are like the inevitable trials that relationships must undergo. After that minor incident, the relationship between Qiu Yayu and Lü Xiaoyan seemed to have entered a new phase. There was less of the initial cautious probing, and more of a tacit understanding and tolerance that had developed through compromise.
Lü Xiaoyan submitted his series "Street Life and Time" to the competition. The results are still unknown, but he seems to have let go of the past. He no longer pours all his energy into a single project as before, but instead picks up his camera again to capture the signs of spring's revival on campus—the tender buds just beginning to bloom on the branches, the sparrows playing on the grass, the sunlight streaming through the library windows, and the increasing number of smiling faces of the girls around him.
He kept his promise and began to open up to her more. Sometimes, when he felt tired working in the darkroom, he would stop and go to her side to read the book she was reading, or simply sit quietly next to her for a while, feeling the comforting warmth emanating from her. Qiu Yayu would then offer him a glass of warm water or a sweet candy, using her own way to dispel his fatigue.
As spring deepens, flowers bloom one after another on campus. Magnolias, cherry blossoms, and crabapple trees transform what was once a drab corner into a vibrant tapestry of life.
It was a sunny Saturday morning with a gentle breeze. Lü Xiaoyan had arranged to meet Qiu Yayu at the botanical garden in the city for a photoshoot. It didn't feel like a serious creative endeavor; it was more like a relaxed and enjoyable spring outing.
Qiu Yayu wore a newly bought floral dress with a beige knitted cardigan over it. Her hair was loosely braided and hung down her shoulders, making her look fresh and lively. Lu Xiaoyan watched her run out of the dormitory building like a cheerful little bird, a smile unconsciously appearing in his eyes. Today, he wasn't carrying his heavy professional camera bag, only his lightweight rangefinder camera and a few rolls of spare film.
The botanical garden was bustling with visitors, mostly families and couples enjoying the beautiful weather. The air was filled with the fragrance of various flowers, mingled with the scent of grass and earth.
While Lü Xiaoyan was taking photos, Qiu Yayu quietly followed beside him, or explored on her own a short distance away. She discovered a cluster of blue hydrangeas in full bloom, squatted down, and curiously touched the fluffy flowers with her fingers; she saw a butterfly alight on a tulip, so she held her breath and cautiously approached; she sat down on a bench covered with cherry blossom petals, tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and felt the petals gently brushing against her cheek.
All these subtle, natural moments of hers were quietly captured by Lü Xiaoyan's lens. He no longer deliberately pursued perfect composition and lighting, but simply faithfully recorded her most authentic and touching appearance in this spring. Her focus when looking at flowers, her joy when chasing butterflies, her tranquility when bathing in a rain of flowers... every frame is full of vibrant life and undisguised happiness.
"Lv Xiaoyan!" Qiu Yayu suddenly waved to him from not far away, pointing to a cotton candy stall next to her, her eyes sparkling with longing.
Lü Xiaoyan smiled helplessly, walked over, bought a pink and white cloud-like cotton candy that was bigger than her face, and handed it to her.
Qiu Yayu happily took it, carefully licked it, and the sweet taste made her squint her eyes in bliss. She broke off a large piece and held it to his lips: "Try it! It's so sweet!"
Lu Xiaoyan hesitated for a moment, looking at the fluffy ball of sugar strands glistening with her saliva. He had never liked overly sweet foods. But under her expectant gaze, he lowered his head slightly and took a small bite from her hand.
Sure enough, it was sickeningly sweet. But looking at her satisfied smile, he felt that the sweetness wasn't so bad after all.
"Is it delicious?" Qiu Yayu asked proudly.
"Hmm." He nodded, took out his camera, and pressed the shutter button on her, who was holding a cotton candy and smiling so broadly that her eyes disappeared.
Sunshine, a sea of flowers, a girl holding a cotton candy, and a boy with gentle eyes behind the camera—these elements combine to create a scene more beautiful than any spring landscape.
At noon, they found a quiet spot on the lawn of the botanical garden for a picnic. Qiu Yayu took out sandwiches, fruit, and snacks she had prepared beforehand from her backpack, spread out the picnic blanket, and busied herself like a little squirrel. Lü Xiaoyan was responsible for handing her the bottled water he had brought, and then sat down next to her, watching her busy herself.
After a satisfying meal, Qiu Yayu felt a little sleepy and let out a small yawn. The warm sunshine shone on her, making her feel languid.
"If you're sleepy, take a nap." Lü Xiaoyan patted her leg.
Qiu Yayu paused for a moment, her cheeks flushing slightly, but she obediently lay down on her side, resting her head on his lap. His legs weren't soft, they were even a bit hard, but she felt incredibly safe. She adjusted to a comfortable position, closed her eyes, and could feel the warmth of the sunlight filtering through her eyelids, as well as smell the clean scent of him, a faint mixture of camera leather and developing fluid.
Lu Xiaoyan looked down at the girl resting her head on his lap. Her eyelashes were long, casting fan-shaped shadows under her eyes, and her cheeks were flushed with a healthy blush from the sunlight and her tipsy sleepiness. Her breathing was even and long. He reached out, his fingertips hovering above her cheek, hesitated for a moment, and finally just very lightly brushed away a tiny petal that had fallen on the tip of her nose.
He sat there, motionless, letting the sunlight freeze their figures into tranquil silhouettes on the lawn. The noise of the surrounding tourists seemed to fade away, leaving only her soft breathing and the steady, powerful beating of his heart.
At that moment, he suddenly understood what Uncle Li meant by "emotion." It wasn't a skill or a theory, but rather the impulse that welled up inside you when you look at someone, the urge to preserve that moment forever; it was the fullness and satisfaction you could feel even if you did nothing but stay together quietly.
After an unknown amount of time, Qiu Yayu slowly woke up. Opening her sleepy eyes, the first thing she saw was Lü Xiaoyan's gaze fixed on her. That gaze was no longer its usual coldness, but carried a deep and focused tenderness she had never seen before, as if she were the most precious treasure in the world.
Her heart skipped a beat.
"Awake?" Lü Xiaoyan's voice was a little hoarse from not speaking for a long time.
"Hmm..." Qiu Yayu sat up, rubbed her eyes, and looked a little embarrassed. "Did I sleep for a long time? Are your legs numb?"
"Not long." Lü Xiaoyan stretched her stiff legs and shook her head.
As the sun began to set, it bathed the botanical garden in a golden glow. They packed up their belongings and prepared to return.
The bus back was not crowded. Qiu Yayu leaned against the window, watching the street scene rushing past outside, feeling an unprecedented sense of peace and happiness. She quietly reached out and hooked her hand around Lü Xiaoyan's fingers, which were resting on her lap.
Lü Xiaoyan's fingers twitched, then she flipped her palm over, completely enveloping her hand.
“Lü Xiaoyan,” Qiu Yayu looked out the window and suddenly said softly, “I’m very happy today.”
"Mmm," he responded, squeezing her hand tighter.
“From now on…” She turned her head, looking at his profile outlined in gold by the setting sun, her eyes bright and full of expectation, “Let’s come here every spring, okay?”
Lü Xiaoyan turned her head and met her hopeful gaze. The spring sunset danced in her eyes, like two clusters of inextinguishable flames falling into them.
He looked at her for a long time, and then slowly and solemnly nodded.
"good."
A promise about the future was made again on a bus on a spring evening. They both believed that they would have many springs together, many tomorrows to watch flowers together, bask in the sun together, and hold hands tightly on the bus.
However, the cruelty of fate lies in the fact that it sometimes fails to fulfill all beautiful promises. That seemingly ordinary spring day, that afternoon when she slept peacefully with her head on his lap, that promise made under the setting sun about "every spring"... soon, all of these will become the sweetest yet cruelest memories that Lü Xiaoyan will repeatedly savor for the rest of her life, memories she can never revisit.
But now, their fingers intertwined, bathed in the spring sunshine and the fragrance of flowers, they were heading towards the long future they believed they would surely share. The bus returning from the botanical garden swayed gently, like a soft lullaby. Qiu Yayu leaned on Lü Xiaoyan's shoulder, the fatigue accumulated from a day of playing washing over her, her eyelids beginning to droop. The neon lights outside the window flickered on her face, her long eyelashes resting like butterfly wings.
Lu Xiaoyan sat upright, making her more comfortable leaning against him. He could smell the faint floral and sunshine scent lingering in her hair, mixed with her own fresh fragrance, lingering around his nose. He looked down at her peaceful sleeping face in the dim light, and the long-silent frozen ground in his heart seemed to melt completely in the warm spring sun and the weight on his shoulders, sprouting a soft, verdant life.
He rarely had such intimate physical contact with anyone, let alone so unguardedly accepting another person's weight. But at this moment, he only felt at peace. As if she was meant to be there.
The car jolted slightly, and Qiu Yayu woke up groggily, finding herself almost entirely nestled in his arms. Her cheeks instantly flushed, and she hurriedly sat up.
"I...I fell asleep?" She rubbed her eyes, her voice hoarse from just waking up and tinged with embarrassment.
"Mmm," Lü Xiaoyan responded, feeling a slight emptiness as the warmth of her touch lingered on her shoulder.
Qiu Yayu stole a glance at him and, seeing that he looked perfectly normal and not at all displeased, secretly breathed a sigh of relief. She looked out the window; the city lights were just coming on, and the night was just beginning.
"Shall we eat out later?" she suggested, her eyes still watery from just waking up. "I know a new ramen shop opened behind the school, and I heard the tonkotsu ramen is really good!"
She always had a passion for food, like a little animal that could never finish exploring the world. Looking into her bright eyes, Lü Xiaoyan nodded: "Okay."
The noodle shop wasn't big, but it was clean and tidy, with warm lighting and the aroma of food creating a cozy atmosphere. They sat side by side in a booth against the wall. Qiu Yayu looked at the menu with great interest, muttering to herself whether to choose the classic tonkotsu ramen or try the new spicy flavor.
"Tonkotsu, please," Lü Xiaoyan suggested. He remembered that her throat had just recovered and it wasn't suitable for her to eat anything too spicy.
"Oh, right." Qiu Yayu readily agreed, ordering tonkotsu ramen, and also ordering his signature soy sauce ramen, plus a side of fried dumplings.
While waiting for her food, Qiu Yayu took out her phone and looked through the photos she had taken at the botanical garden that day. Most of them were taken by Lü Xiaoyan with his rangefinder camera, and some were candid shots of his profile and back.
“Look at this,” she said, holding her phone screen close to his face. It showed him adjusting the camera under the cherry blossom tree, his expression focused, his profile particularly clear in the soft spring light. “Isn’t it beautiful? I think you’re especially handsome when you’re working seriously!”
Looking at himself on the screen, Lü Xiaoyan looked away uncomfortably, his ears burning slightly. He wasn't used to such direct praise.
“I like this one too,” Qiu Yayu flipped to another picture, a candid shot she took of him looking down at her as she slept with her head on his lap. The tenderness in his eyes almost overflowed the screen. “What were you thinking at that moment?”
Lü Xiaoyan stared at the photograph, silent for a moment. What was he thinking? He wasn't thinking anything at the time, or perhaps his thoughts were a jumbled mess, ultimately settling into an almost devout tranquility and contentment. But he couldn't bring himself to say it.
"It's nothing," he finally replied vaguely.
Qiu Yayu didn't press further, and continued flipping through the photos with a cheerful smile, like a child who had discovered the world's treasures, chattering excitedly about each one. Lü Xiaoyan listened quietly, occasionally offering a brief "hmm" or "not bad" when Qiu Yayu asked, "Is this one good?"
The steaming hot ramen was served quickly. The rich aroma of the broth instantly captured Qiu Yayu's attention. She put her hands together, said "I'm starting," and eagerly picked up a spoon to take a sip of the soup, letting out a satisfied sigh.
"It's so delicious!" Her eyes curved into crescents as she picked up the soft-boiled egg from her bowl and naturally placed it into Lü Xiaoyan's bowl. "Here you go, I know you like this."
Lu Xiaoyan stared blankly at the extra, trembling soft-boiled egg in her bowl. He did like it, but he had never specifically mentioned it. When did she notice? This kind of attention to detail, like a gentle warmth, quietly seeped into her heart.
He picked up a fried dumpling and silently put one into her bowl as well.
Qiu Yayu looked up at him, gave him a bright smile, picked up a dumpling, dipped it in vinegar, and stuffed it into her mouth, eating it with gusto.
After dinner, it was late at night. The evening breeze carried the cool and damp scent unique to spring. The two walked slowly back to school along the familiar streets.
As they approached the girls' dormitory, Qiu Yayu slowed her pace. She took something out of her small bag and handed it to Lü Xiaoyan.
It is a small, handmade kraft paper photo album with a simple camera and a few leaves drawn in colored pens on the cover, next to which are the crooked words "Inside and Outside the Lens".
Lü Xiaoyan accepted it with some surprise.
“This is for you,” Qiu Yayu said, twisting her fingers shyly. “Inside are some photos I took with that camera… they’ve been developed. They might not be very good, but… they’re all moments I think are wonderful.” There were photos of him at work, a profile of him reading a book, even just his back as he walked down the street, as well as the food they ate together, the scenery they saw… it was her view of him and their world.
Lu Xiaoyan stroked the rough, warm cover of the photo album, his heart feeling as if it were filled with something. He opened the album and flipped through the pages. The photos weren't particularly technically sophisticated; some were even skewed in composition and poorly exposed. But each one was brimming with the breath of life and genuine emotion, recording peaceful or gentle moments that he himself had never noticed before.
This is how she sees him. It is through the "eyes" he gave her that she constructs a warm and vivid world for him.
"Thank you." He closed the photo album, held it in his hand, looked up at her, his gaze deep and focused. "I like it very much."
His affirmation relieved Qiu Yayu, and a bright smile returned to her face.
"I'm glad you like it!" She took a step forward, stood on the steps in front of the dormitory building, and turned to face him. "Then... shall I go up?"
"Okay." Lü Xiaoyan nodded. "Get some rest."
"You too!" Qiu Yayu waved and ran into the building. When she reached the corner of the stairs, she stopped, leaned out halfway, waved vigorously at him, and smiled sweetly before disappearing completely from sight.
Lü Xiaoyan stood there until the light in her window came on. He looked down at the small but heavy photo album in his hand, his fingertips lightly tracing the words "Inside and Outside the Lens".
What he captures through his lens is the world he presents: calm, objective, and striving for perfection.
Beyond the camera lens, there is a world she brings to him—warm, vibrant, and full of life.
And he found himself becoming enamored with everything beyond the camera's lens. He adored her smile, her chatter, the candy she slipped to him, the weight of her on his lap, and the clumsy yet incredibly sincere cinematic world she had created for him.
His coat fluttered in the spring night air, but his palms were warm as he held the photo album.
He raised his head, took one last look at the lit window, and turned to disappear into the night. His steps were firm and light like never before.
He knew that some things had completely changed. His lens and his world had been given a new and warm meaning because of a girl named Qiu Yayu.
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