Chapter One / Section One: Sin
Spring has arrived in the south, and hibiscus flowers are blooming in every corner of Nanning.
That year, Xiong Yingguang was only thirteen years old and in her first year of junior high school. She had been in Nanning with her father for two years and was quite familiar with some of the city's paths and places. However, deep down, she always had an uneasy premonition that she would encounter something she would never be able to let go of for the rest of her life.
Xiong Yingguang walked down the stairwell of Jiangnan Community, pondering when she would meet someone who loved her deeply.
She went to Baiyi Shanghecheng to take photos as usual, but bumped into a boy downstairs in the Jiangnan residential area. The boy's voice was deep and gentle, instantly melting Xiong Yingguang's heart.
"I'm sorry..." Xiong Yingguang was flustered.
Seeing her expression, the boy smiled and said, "It's okay."
“But I bumped into your cake, so I have to compensate you. And your clothes, I’ll wash them for you,” Xiong Yingguang said guiltily.
"Really, it's not necessary. I can just buy another cake myself," the boy politely declined.
But Xiong Yingguang insisted on dragging the boy to the cake shop to buy a cake. "If you don't let me pay for it, I'll feel bad."
The boy pushed her hand away, smiled, and said, "If you really have to compensate me, then you compensate me! Be my best friend who will never abandon me. I haven't had many friends growing up. Would you be willing?"
"Friends?" Xiong Yingguang thought to herself.
That day, out of youthful ignorance, she became friends with that boy. But three years later, the boy was no longer her friend. Xiong Yinghuang's tears flowed to who knows where. Every emotion of the boy was an unattainable luxury for Xiong Yinghuang. How she wished they could stay on the day they met forever.
From that day on, Xiong Yingguang had a deep affection for that boy. His silhouette and his words were constantly on her mind. Without him, she would only think about him and lose her appetite.
But on this day, Xiong Yingguang officially enrolled in Nanning No. 20 Middle School. She passed by a noodle shop and saw the boy she had been longing for eating noodles, his backpack on and his clothes neat. There was an unspeakable secret in the boy's eyes.
She walked up to the owner and asked, "Boss, does that boy come here to eat often?"
"You mean that boy with the black backpack and the buzz cut?" the shopkeeper asked rhetorically.
"Mm." Xiong Yingguang nodded.
“Young lady, you don’t know this, but this boy’s parents are rarely home, and his sister just passed away last year. He’s been coming to me these past few days crying and complaining about how miserable he is. He seemed a little better yesterday, but I don’t know why,” the shop owner explained.
"Thank you, boss. From now on, if he comes to eat noodles, it'll be on me. I'll pay for it. Could you add an extra egg for him?" Xiong Yingguang requested.
"Okay." The boss agreed.
Xiong Yingguang leaned over to greet the boy. Her smiling face made him uncomfortable, because no one had smiled at him like that since his sister's death. People said he was a jinx, bringing bad luck to the neighbors. He was all alone now, and his parents would only try to appease him with money. He couldn't let go of the pain of his sister's death.
"Are you very lonely, always alone?" Xiong Yingguang asked.
"Why do you say that?" the boy asked back.
“If you’re lonely, you can come and be with me. We can form a family, and my parents would be very happy. I’d like to be your sister and ease your pain,” Xiong Yingguang said sincerely.
"Who do you think you are? No one can replace my sister!" The boy said, somewhat agitated.
“I’m not trying to take your sister’s place. I just don’t want you to be stuck in this pain. Trapping yourself in memories every day, sitting in an empty room, breathing in loneliness—that kind of pain is suffocating. What’s the point of deceiving yourself like this?” Xiong Yingguang comforted her.
"I..." The boy hesitated, unable to finish his sentence.
Seeing the boy's lonely tears, Xiong Yingguang comforted him, "Why are you crying? Boys should be strong. Don't you feel ashamed to cry every time something happens? Your sister doesn't want you to be so weak, only knowing how to cry every day. Will crying help you forget your pain?"
After hesitating for a few seconds, the boy finally nodded in agreement.
That day, Xiong Yingguang met him. If she had known the ending, she definitely wouldn't have had a relationship with the boy, because he would only bring her pain. She should have been a stranger to him from the beginning, out of sight, out of mind. Ignoring everything about the boy would have been the cruelest thing she could do to herself.
I still can't forget your eyes, but everything changed the moment she appeared. You cared less and less about me each day, and I almost felt like I was the third party between you two.
Today is the first day of school at Nanning No. 20 Middle School. The sun in Yongzhou is as warm as usual, but it makes me cry because of you.
When Xiong Yingguang saw Mu Xinghe enroll at Nanning No. 20 Middle School, she felt a mix of emotions. She desperately wished Mu Xinghe would disappear from her sight.
Mu Xinghe, the genius of the National Mathematical Olympiad, a musical prodigy with a Grade 10 piano certificate, and an excellent dancer, suddenly appeared in front of Xiong Yingguang.
"Hey, isn't this Xiong Yingguang? What? Still trying to embarrass yourself in front of me like you did back then? Do you know Jing Moran? I really like him, can you introduce me to him?" Mu Xinghe asked.
"Who is Jing Mozhan? I don't know what you're talking about," Xiong Yingguang said, feigning ignorance.
"It's that guy you're always with. You've been with him for so long, you don't even know his name, do you...?" Mu Xinghe asked, somewhat puzzled.
So your name is Jing Mo Ran, the hero who saved people in the fire. Your name is so beautiful, yet why do you consider your past a secret? I so want to know everything about you, but this dream is too beautiful, and I don't want to wake up.
This is the beginning of our sins. I saw that Mu Xinghe had a close relationship with you, and I only wanted to back down.
“I don’t know him, we’re just strangers.” Xiong Yingguang turned and ran away.
She felt that she was being presumptuous. All her concern for Jing Mozhan these past few days had been in vain. Her love was so cheap, how could it be worthy of the high and mighty Jing Mozhan?
Xiong Yingguang kept running, afraid to look back, lest she run into Jing Moran. She asked her teacher for leave, saying she wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. She just wanted to stay home and calm down, at least so she wouldn't feel heartbroken.
She felt that someone as outstanding as Jing Moran could never be worthy of her. How could she, with such talent, possibly be so wasteful…
Tears mingled with the falling rain, making her deep affection for Jing Mozhan seem so insignificant, and her concern appear as a self-inflicted performance. Just then, Xiong Yingguang suddenly picked up the phone and dialed a number. As soon as the person on the other end answered, they heard Xiong Yingguang's hysterical, heart-wrenching sobs.
"Brother Haiyang, it hurts so much, can we talk?"
"Where are you? What happened? I'm coming to find you now."
“Jiangnan Wanda…” she answered, her voice choked with emotion.
The boy left her heartbroken and in unbearable pain, as if she were completely broken. However, she was just an outsider; what could she possibly care about? What right did she have to care? When she realized her place in the boy's heart, leaving seemed like the best option. But would the boy ever forget her, or even turn back to pity her? She didn't know, and dared not know.
The torrential rain seemed to soak into Xiong Yingguang's heart, making her love seem so cheap and worthless. This time, what right or status did she have to approach Jing Moran?
Xiong Yingguang sat alone in a milk tea shop in Jiangnan Wanda Plaza, mechanically stirring her milk tea with a spoon in her hand. However, her tears fell like beads from a broken string, one drop at a time, into the milk tea and mixed with it.
She knew she wasn't good enough for Jing Mo Ran. That tall, handsome boy already had someone else in his heart. She had thought she could try to win him over and become his other half, but now it was all impossible. All her love and affection were buried the day that other girl appeared. The sound of rain intensified Xiong Ying Guang's heartache. She kept muttering "Why," but received no comfort from Jing Mo Ran.
She had valued the boy so much, yet he had treated her feelings with indifference behind her back… Rain only leaves behind a lingering sense of sorrow. From now on, she will no longer be sentimental about the boy.
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