Chapter Two / Section Three: You Don't Understand at All
In this world that you once felt no attachment to, everything has changed because of my presence. Your loneliness will become a thing of the past.
Jing Mo Ran was determined to make amends for his past mistakes. He could no longer remain indifferent to Xiong Ying Guang's situation and resolved to turn back and save her. Both of them were "monsters" incapable of feeling pain, seemingly destined to depend on each other rather than drift apart. If Jing Mo Ran was destined to give up everything, he would also embrace Xiong Ying Guang tightly without hesitation and never let go.
He ran tirelessly, his legs exhausted, yet he couldn't stop, because Xiong Yingguang was waiting for him, and he couldn't let her down.
"You must wait for me, Xiong Yingguang," Jing Moran silently called out in his heart.
He regretted his weakness and incompetence, and regretted giving up Xiong Yingguang. He actually loved her deeply, but he was always unwilling to admit his feelings.
On the other end of the phone, Lu Xiyao questioned Jing Moran: "You must really like her, right? Then what makes you think you can protect her? You two are a match made in heaven, born to be the same kind of people. Don't you regret that one day you will hurt her?"
Jing Mo Ran answered firmly, "I won't, I never will. From the moment I met her, I knew I had no way to back down. I love her, and I want to go back to those tender times with her. I have never regretted the years I spent with her; at least I learned to live strong. She is the light in my life, and my world cannot be without her."
Cang Ruoxi couldn't stand it any longer and chased after Jing Moran, stopping him on the sidewalk of Minzu Avenue.
"Jing Moran, wake up. Even if you try to save Xiong Yingguang like this, you can't erase the fact that her body is impure. Can't you just stay with Mu Xinghe and stop hurting Xiong Yingguang?"
Jing Mo Ran responded firmly: "Cang Ruo Xi, I can't do it, get out of my way! I need to go find her, I can't live without Xiong Ying Guang."
"Haven't you hurt Xiong Yingguang enough? Why do you always like to get close to her again and again? Although Xiong Yingguang is your kind, she is also your sister. Don't always assume that she doesn't feel pain, okay?" Cang Ruoxi questioned.
“I know, I just can’t lose her, I want to protect her,” Jing Moran replied.
"Your leaving her is the last thing you can do to protect her," Cang Ruoxi said.
After that cruel and heartbreaking conversation, Jing Mozhan seemed like a different person, becoming listless. A month later, he heard Xiong Yingguang's voice again. Upon seeing Jing Mozhan, Xiong Yingguang began relentlessly pursuing him.
The fact that Xiong Yingguang's body was defiled has become common knowledge, but Jing Mozhan still cannot help her erase that painful memory.
Watching Xiong Yingguang relentlessly pursue him, Jing Mozhan knew he couldn't stop. He understood that they were now from two different worlds, and their past affection had long since shattered into a dream.
"Jing Moran, stop right there! I rarely come back, shouldn't you be happy?" Xiong Yingguang shouted.
Jing Mozhan suppressed his heartache and tears, not daring to look back at Xiong Yingguang again. He knew that getting closer to her would only cause him more pain. He didn't want to hurt her, so he could only keep running, tears streaming down his face, expressing the overwhelming sorrow in his heart.
He was chased all the way to his cramped home, a remote and ugly place that resembled a slum, a gathering place for vendors, filled with the smells of cooking oil and food.
Born into wealth, Xiong Yingguang might not be able to tolerate this environment, and might even feel nauseous.
At the milk tea shop, Xiong Yingguang met Lu Xiyao, who was buying milk tea with Yan Xinhe.
Lu Xiyao stepped forward to greet her: "Xiong Yingguang? What are you doing here? This is the dirtiest and most chaotic street in Xixiangtang District of Nanning. How could a young lady like you come here?"
"Lu Xiyao, have you seen Jing Moran?" Xiong Yingguang asked.
“No,” Lu Xiyao replied.
Suddenly, Yan Xinhe rushed up and grabbed Xiong Yingguang's hand: "You're Xiong Yingguang! I've heard Lu Xiyao and the others mention you often. I didn't know you were so beautiful."
"You are..." Xiong Yingguang asked, somewhat puzzled.
“I am Yan Xinhe,” Yan Xinhe replied.
Xiong Yingguang stared at the girl for a long time, her gaze drawn to Yan Xinhe's innocence—an innocence so alluring. However, Xiong Yingguang knew she was no longer innocent; her body had been defiled.
When Yan Xinhe was about to touch Xiong Yingguang, Xiong Yingguang took a step back:
"Don't touch me. A monster like me will only harm you if you stay with me. Besides, my body is filthy, and you'll only dirty your hands if you touch me."
“How could that be! I don’t mind at all,” Yan Xinhe said.
Yan Xinhe's every word and action softened Xiong Yingguang's heart instantly. She couldn't resist this beauty and didn't want these memories to become future pain.
"Xiong Yingguang, come, come, sit down and have something to eat. It's on me. You can come to me for anything in the future, little sister. I consider you my sister now," Yan Xinhe said warmly.
"Sisters?" Xiong Yingguang hesitated.
“Yes, sisters, from now on we are sisters,” Yan Xinhe said firmly.
“You have no idea. Everyone who was with me was killed by me. And you still tell me you’re my sister, that you don’t want to hurt me, and that you don’t want the hurt to become an unforgettable scar,” Xiong Yingguang said.
Lu Xiyao was about to step forward to persuade Xiong Yingguang, but the life Xiong Yingguang was facing was something that ordinary people could hardly bear.
When Yan Xinhe saw the numerous wounds, burns, and whip marks on Xiong Yingguang's body, she asked with concern, "Why do you have so many wounds and whip marks on your body?"
"It's okay, I don't feel any pain," Xiong Yingguang said with a smile.
"Don't you feel any pain?" Yan Xinhe asked in surprise.
"Hmm, I don't think so. Someone like me who is insensitive to pain probably wouldn't know how painful tactile pain can be," Xiong Yingguang replied.
Yan Xinhe felt a pang of heartache looking at the wounds. Those scars, whip marks, and even unhealed wounds—she thought that anyone capable of feeling pain would find it unbearable.
Xiong Yingguang felt that no one understood why she had to endure all of this. She was different from those around her; she was just a monster who couldn't feel pain. Monsters should be with monsters, and the pity and sympathy of others were just insignificant acts of charity.
That day, she came to someone else's world and finally understood what the monster they were talking about was—it turned out to be someone like her who could not feel any pain.
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