4. Marry a concubine
At that moment, Su Wanting's heart completely sank. She looked at Xiao Cixiao's cold eyes, at the undisguised disgust on his face, and suddenly felt that all her efforts over the past five years had seemed like a joke.
She recalled the determination she had shown five years ago when she knelt outside her father's study, begging him to help Xiao Cixiao. She recalled the exhaustion she felt when she stayed up all night boiling medicine to take care of Xiao Cixiao's mother.
She recalled the grievance she had felt when she knelt outside her father's study to help Xiao Cixiao clear his name. She thought that her efforts would be seen and cherished, but she was wrong.
Xiao Cixiao's heart was like a piece of thousand-year-old ice. No matter how hard she tried to warm it, it wouldn't warm up.
That night, Su Wanting did not wait for Xiao Cixiao outside the study for the first time.
She returned to the main room, looked at the desolate room, looked at the clothes she had mended for Xiao Cixiao, looked at the things she had prepared for him but had never been used by him, and finally couldn't help but shed tears.
The late autumn wind was bitingly cold, blowing the fallen leaves in the courtyard and hitting Su Wanting's face.
She stood in front of the window of the main room, watching the housekeeper lead a woman in a water-green dress into the gate of the Xiao Mansion. Her fingers unconsciously clenched the carvings on the window frame, and her knuckles turned white.
The woman had a slender figure, gentle eyes and eyebrows, and walked with her head slightly lowered, looking particularly weak and pitiful.
She is Liu Tingting, Xiao Cixiao’s new concubine.
Three days ago, Xiao Cixiao came back from the court and took the initiative to walk into the main room for the first time.
Su Wanting was mending his old cotton-padded jacket at the time. When she saw him come in, she was surprised and happy, thinking that he was finally willing to open his heart to her.
But before she could say anything, Xiao Cixiao took out a piece of paper from his sleeve and placed it in front of her.
"This is the document appointing Na Liu as my concubine. Please stamp it." His tone was flat, leaving no room for negotiation, as if he was just talking about an insignificant matter.
Su Wanting looked at the document, her fingers trembling slightly. She raised her head and looked at Xiao Cixiao in disbelief: "You want to take a concubine? Why?"
Xiao Cixiao avoided her gaze and said in a cold tone, "You have been married into the Xiao family for five years and have no children. The Xiao family cannot be cut off from the incense, so it is natural to take Liu as your concubine."
The three words "nowhere to go" were like a sharp knife, piercing into Su Wanting's heart.
How could she not want to have a child? In the past five years, she had hoped countless times to have a child belonging to her and Xiao Cixiao, to make this deserted Xiao Mansion more lively and to make the relationship between her and Xiao Cixiao more likely to ease.
But Xiao Cixiao had never stepped into her room and never given her a chance. Now he put the crime of "being childless" on her head and used this as an excuse to take a concubine.
"Xiao Cixiao, you can't do this to me." Su Wanting's voice was choked with sobs.
"Don't you know how I've treated you in the past five years? Can't you see everything I've done for you?"
"Everything you did was just wishful thinking." Xiao Cixiao finally looked at her, his eyes full of mockery.
"If you hadn't used the power of the Su family to force me to marry you, how could I have married a woman like you who only uses family background to pressure others? Liu is gentle and understanding, a thousand times better than you."
Su Wanting's heart sank completely.
She looked at Xiao Cixiao's cold eyes and the undisguised disgust on his face, and finally understood that in his eyes, the efforts she had made over the past five years were nothing but "wishful thinking".
Even the excuse of "using family background to oppress others" was used. All her persistence and expectations were completely shattered at this moment.
She didn't argue or cry anymore, but just silently picked up the seal and stamped her name on the document.
The red ink fell on the paper, like a drop of blood, making her eyes look red.
Xiao Cixiao saw her stamp the document, pick up the document, turn around and walk out.
When he reached the door, he paused, without looking back, and only said: "In three days, Liu will come to the mansion, you arrange her accommodation."
Now, Liu Tingting is really here.
Su Wanting watched her being led into the west wing by the housekeeper, and watched Xiao Cixiao walk out of the study to greet her personally, and even reached out to help her. The tenderness in his eyes was something she had never seen in the past five years.
At that moment, Su Wanting felt like an outsider, standing in her own home, watching her husband asking about another woman's well-being, while she herself was not even qualified to get close to her.
"Miss, it's windy outside, you should go back to the house."
Qing Dai came over with a cloak and draped it over Su Wanting's shoulders. Looking at her pale face, she said distressedly, "Master Xiao...he was just confused for a moment. Don't take it to heart."
Su Wanting shook her head, her voice hoarse: "He is not confused, he really doesn't like me. Qingdai, am I stupid?
For the past five years, I've been like a clown, following him around, doing this and that for him, but he wouldn't even look at me. Now he's using the excuse of 'no children' to humiliate me by taking a concubine."
"Miss, please don't say that." Qingdai quickly comforted her.
"We all see how good you are to Master Xiao. But Master Xiao hasn't understood your feelings yet. One day, he will realize your kindness."
Su Wanting didn't say anything, but turned around and went back to the house silently. She sat in front of the dressing table, looking at her haggard appearance in the mirror, and finally couldn't help but shed tears.
She recalled five years ago, when she wore a bright red wedding dress and married Xiao Cixiao with great anticipation;
Thinking back to the past five years, she had prepared breakfast for him every day, mended his clothes, and paved the way for him to use the Su family's connections; thinking back to the time she blocked an assassin's arrow for him and injured her arm, but he didn't even say a word of comfort.
It turns out that all her efforts are not as good as the "gentle and understanding" Liu Tingting.
It turned out that her five years of affection were worthless in his eyes.
That night, the Xiao Mansion was decorated with lights and lanterns. Although he was only taking in a concubine, he still set up several tables for banquets and invited some relatives and friends.
As the legal wife, Su Wanting should have gone out to socialize, but she had no intention of doing so. She just sat alone in the main room, listening to the laughter outside, feeling as if her heart was hollow.
Qingdai came in with a bowl of food: "Miss, you haven't eaten anything all day, please eat something."
Su Wanting shook her head and had no appetite.
She looked at the pair of neatly placed wine glasses on the table and remembered that on their wedding night, Xiao Cixiao did the same thing, leaving her alone in the bridal chamber and going to the study.
Now, he didn't even go back to the study, but stayed directly in Liu Tingting's west wing.
As the night deepened, the laughter and chatter outside gradually faded away. Su Wanting lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.
She could hear faint voices coming from the west wing. Although she couldn't hear the content, she could imagine the warm scene inside.
Xiao Cixiao might be discussing poetry and painting with Liu Tingting, or chatting with her about family matters, or asking her about her well-being. These scenes were what she had dreamed of for the past five years, but now, they had become the sharpest knife piercing her heart.
She stood up and walked to the table, opened the drawer and took out a box.
The box contained the clothes she had mended for Xiao Cixiao over the past five years, including cotton-padded jackets, long gowns, and socks.
Every piece of clothing was sewn with her hard work and deep affection. She looked at these clothes, tears falling drop by drop, leaving a small stain.
She thought that as long as she persisted, as long as she continued to be nice to Xiao Cixiao, one day she would be able to warm his heart.
But she didn't expect that five years not only failed to warm his heart, but made him hate her more and more.
She didn't know how long she could hold on, nor did she know how long this hopeless love would last.
That night, Su Wanting experienced the chill of her heart for the first time. It wasn't a physical chill, but a chill that came from deep within her heart, a chill of despair.
The winter sun shone through the window lattice and onto the courtyard of the Xiao Mansion, but it did not bring any warmth.
Su Wanting sat by the window in the main room, holding needle and thread in her hand, but she didn't sew a single stitch for a long time.
Her gaze involuntarily drifted towards the west wing, where she heard Liu Tingting's gentle laughter.
Ever since Liu Tingting came into the mansion, Xiao Cixiao has completely moved into the west wing and stays with Liu Tingting almost every day.
He no longer asked Su Wanting to prepare breakfast, but asked Liu Tingting to make it for him personally; he no longer stayed up late to investigate cases,
Instead, he accompanied Liu Tingting for walks in the courtyard, or discussed poetry and painted in the study; he even bought Liu Tingting a lot of gold and silver jewelry and silks and satins, giving her the best things.
Su Wanting looked at the valuable fox fur coat on Liu Tingting and felt a pang of sadness in her heart.
Xiao Cixiao had someone buy that coat from Jiangnan last month. It was said that it cost him half a month's salary.
She herself was still wearing an old cotton-padded jacket from three years ago. The cuffs and collar were worn out, but she was reluctant to change it.
"Miss, you've been sitting here for a long time without even moving a needle or thread. Is there something on your mind?"
Qingdai walked in with a cup of hot tea, placed it on the table in front of Su Wanting, and said worriedly.
Su Wanting shook her head, picked up the needle and thread, but still didn't continue sewing.
She remembered yesterday when she went to the study to deliver official documents to Xiao Cixiao, and happened to see Liu Tingting sitting next to Xiao Cixiao, holding a book in her hand and reading poetry to Xiao Cixiao.
Xiao Cixiao leaned back in the chair, closed her eyes, and had a comfortable smile on her face. It was a gentleness that she had never seen in the past five years.
She stood at the door, looking at the warm scene in front of her, her heart aching as if it were being pricked by a needle.
She wanted to turn around and leave, but she was unwilling to do so. She mustered her courage, walked into the study, placed the document on the table in front of Xiao Cixiao, and said softly, "This is the document I need you to review today."
Xiao Cixiao opened his eyes and saw that it was her. The smile on his face disappeared instantly, replaced by a cold expression: "Let it go."
Liu Tingting also raised her head and saw Su Wanting. She quickly stood up and bowed slightly: "My concubine greets the madam." Her tone was gentle, but there was a hint of imperceptible provocation in her eyes.
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