Chapter 82 (Chapter 82) - I Like
Jie was somewhat surprised. This was the first time in all his years that Aju had a heart-to-heart talk with him face-to-face, and it was about this kind of topic.
Moreover, he knew he had made his feelings very obvious. It seemed that even his childhood friends and family had noticed, so his master couldn't possibly not see through him. He must just be deceiving himself.
He can occasionally become an escapist, a bit of a perfectionist, and something that no one else knows, but Jie Zhoujian does.
Qingjue...
She must just not want to accept this relationship, that's why she's acting like this.
He should also try to keep his distance. Is it necessary to watch over him from a distance?
However, he was only answering his younger brother's question as an older brother: "You've never had feelings for anyone else? That's a bit hard to understand. What exactly does it feel like? Perhaps you could describe it in more detail."
"Well... I've always been like this since I was little. I used to think I was just selfish. I've always only cared about you guys. I only did other things because you wanted me to do them, or because Master wanted me to do them." Aju: "But later, when I found out that I wasn't an ordinary person, I suddenly wondered if it was because I couldn't be considered human that my perception of emotions was inherently weaker?"
“That is indeed a very likely perspective. If that’s the case, the way the mountain guardians are born is actually closer to that of fairies, right?” Jie Zhoujian said. “But Sister Muyuan can also have feelings and compassion, not only to people who are important to her, but also to other ordinary people besides Senior Jiujie and Senior Guisong.”
“Yes…” Aju asked doubtfully, “And according to the stories Master has seen, if the mountain guardian really has little affection for the world, he probably wouldn’t be able to fulfill his responsibilities and protect others in the end.”
After all, this identity requires not only pure responsibility but also a relatively firm resolve. The death of the mountain guardian is an inevitable end, and no one will remember him. This is a cruel fact, and it is something that all mountain guardians know when they take over the reins.
Not forming deep relationships with others is to avoid leaving regrets and lingering attachments, but to be completely devoid of emotion is also a bit unreasonable.
Jie Zhoujian added, "But if we're talking about that, Senior Shen Guisong's only close friends are Sister Muyuan and Senior Jiujie, right? He doesn't seem to have any deep friendships with others. Could this be a sign of his detached nature?"
“…Ah,” Aju lowered her head, “But doesn’t that mean I didn’t fully inherit the rights of the mountain guardian? How could I…”
If given the chance, who wouldn't want to experience more?
Jie said during the day, "Ah, are you really struggling with this? Actually, I think being too emotional isn't necessarily a good thing, and being a little indifferent to strangers is only human nature, right?"
"No, it's just a sudden thought, and we happened to talk about it today. I'm not quite sure what my feelings are for you guys anymore. Ever since I found out who I am, it's been a bit strange..." Aju frowned, trying to describe it in detail with the words he could think of: "It's that kind of feeling... 'I shouldn't have'?"
His description was somewhat abstract, but as someone who had grown up with him like an older brother, Jie Zhoujian seemed to be able to understand it.
I shouldn't have...
“I am very grateful to you and Master, and Master also said a lot to me. He said he will definitely protect us, and I believe him! I also feel that it is great to be your junior brother forever!” Aju scratched the back of his head: “But sometimes I have this feeling... I think it may be a misconception brought about by our identities.”
"So I wanted to ask my senior, what kind of feeling is 'liking'? At least I wanted to hear it from someone I know and experience it for myself."
“I like it…” Jie Zhoujian looked up and thought for a moment, then said, “It’s probably just a very inexplicable emotion.”
Aju listened attentively, and Jie Zhoujian spoke earnestly as well: "I believe that you can definitely realize when you like someone; at least I realized it a long time ago."
"The stories in the vernacular books include unrequited love, heart-wrenching romances, and some people who are unaware of their love and miss out on their beloved."
"But I think once you fall in love with someone, it's hard not to notice. Even if they stand with everyone else, you'll immediately notice that they're different. It's like finding your favorite book on a bookshelf, and every page you turn brings new discoveries and surprises."
"So I don't like those unrealistic stories. I don't believe that feelings of loving someone can be so fragile. At least for me, I readily acknowledge and accept this feeling. Moreover, I think this feeling has more possessiveness and lust than other feelings. After all, no one would pass down the story of having multiple wives and concubines. The poems of the past mostly praise one person for life."
"After saying all this, I don't really know what I'm saying. Just take it as me saying something offhand."
"Wow..." Aju exclaimed after hearing this: "Senior brother, you are really open and honest. You can talk about lust so openly and honestly."
Jie said only during the day, "Food and sex are human nature, but I respect my master very much and would never do anything he doesn't like. These are two different things. I just don't think this is anything shameful. It's normal between partners."
"Hmm... So, does that mean having possessiveness and lust is the same as having feelings of love?"
"Not entirely. That's just icing on the cake. True affection mainly comes from communication, respect, and love. And that person must be special. For example, when I praise Linglai and Ayan, I genuinely want to praise them, but when I praise Master, I have an extra selfish motive: I want Master to notice me."
"Oh! I used to do that when I was little, I can understand that, but I don't seem to do it anymore now."
"That probably means always being a child in front of the person you like."
"Hearing this, it seems that this feeling is really complicated, and it feels like there are many factors involved."
"Yes, and I'm a bit stubborn about this. I believe that if two people don't stay together until the end, it can't be called love. I think time and longevity are also important aspects of love. I don't think that kind of feeling that can be worn down in a few years is true love."
"I understand," Aju said, absorbing so much knowledge for the first time, as if she had just received a new toy she liked. "After listening to my senior brother, I think his idea is really good. This is probably something most people can't do."
"Maybe, but that's just my standard. Other people's standards might be different from mine. If you want to know, you can ask others. They might have different reference points."
They then discussed their views on relationships, and even after Aju left late at night, Jie still couldn't fall asleep during the day.
He was very clever; he could tell at a glance whether Qingjue had feelings for him that went beyond the master-disciple relationship.
some.
He has the secret formula.
Otherwise, given Jie Zhoujian's personality, he wouldn't even bother to test the waters.
But Qingjue really didn't want to accept it like this.
There are indeed many considerations and concerns. He has done a lot over the years and is already very tired. Jie Zhoujian doesn't want to inexplicably make him deal with another troublesome matter.
Anyway, he had made up his mind. This was the only person in his life who could move his heart. If Qingjue accepted him, then he didn't care. He disregarded worldly views and was willing to suffer hardships and dangers with her.
If Qingjue doesn't accept him, then he will remain in a safe zone forever, only as a disciple.
Ayan's intuition was right. Tianyu was very smart and had more thoughts than they imagined. He must have seen through it, but he didn't say anything because he respected him.
Aju is naturally slow to understand emotions, which is probably related to his identity. In reality, he is a very shrewd person with high emotional intelligence, and it is quite peculiar that this trait can coexist.
Ayan and Linglai... they probably didn't really see through it, but that's good, it makes them less likely to be fooled.
Since it's a purification technique, there's nothing I can do. I'll just have to wait a little longer.
They've waited for so many years, maybe even longer, as if they're already incredibly fortunate to be able to live a peaceful and comfortable life.
Qingjue woke up before dawn and couldn't fall back asleep.
I thought that after the Demonic Sect was unsealed and Yan Shiqun regained control of Qianlun Mountain, the dark clouds overhead would dissipate.
Isn't that how it always goes? The clouds part to reveal the light.
But strangely, the dark clouds overhead are still there, even darker and heavier, making it look like there's an even bigger thunderstorm.
Qingjue stared at the black clouds above his head for a while, then turned and left.
Today is the day they leave Qianlun Mountain.
Yan Shiqun will be very busy during this period, and Wen Tianyu also needs to rush back to Beishan first.
Aju suggested, "Senior Sister Linglai will go to Jingge with Senior Brother Tianyu. I'll stay here to help Junior Brother Yan. Senior Brother can accompany Master."
Ruan Linglai: "I have no objection. Tianyu, I'll go help you. I also have a good impression of Beishan. The people there are simple and honest. I'd like to stay there a little longer."
Yan Shiqun: "...Although, why are you the one who stayed behind to help me?"
Aju winked at Jie Zhoujian, who was taken aback, realizing he was doing it on purpose, and felt somewhat helpless.
It seems I need to find some time to tell him that there's no need to deliberately try to match them up.
"Is there anyone from your sect who's interested? I'd be kind enough to stay and help you."
Qingjue actually wanted to help his apprentice, but he also needed an explanation from Quanzhou and Zhangzhou.
From both a moral and logical standpoint, this arrangement is not excessive, although the kid's expression just now seemed to suggest he was plotting something: "...Then let's listen to Aju this time. I'll go back and deal with things with Zhoujian first, and then come to find you. It just so happens that Chunhua and the others should have returned to Liuchun as well. It seems I'll have to pay a visit to express my gratitude this year during the New Year."
Since Qingjue had agreed, the others had no objections either. Jie Zhoujian was used to following him anyway, so it didn't matter: "Let's go, Master."
"Um."
However, no sooner had Qingjue left Qianlun Mountain than the dark clouds that had covered the sky dispersed.
The wild goose, separated from its flock, looked up at the sky, frowned, and sensed something was wrong. It exchanged a worried look with Aju, who had stayed behind.
Qingjue understood as soon as he returned to Quanzhou and Zhangzhou that the sky-covering thunderclouds were aimed at him.
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