Chapter 42
Luo Yan slept for a full five hours. She opened her eyes, full of energy, and met a pair of dark, moist eyes.
Zhu Yun sat upright on the edge of the bed, watching her without moving, his right hand reaching under the covers to intertwine his fingers with hers. This position seemed to have lasted for a long time, so long that her finger bones ached slightly.
"Ah Yun, aren't you asleep?"
He didn't deny it; his slightly furrowed brows relaxed as Luo Yan awoke, adding a touch of life to her. Perhaps sensing her discomfort, he lowered his head to massage her, gently asking, "Does it hurt?"
pain.
But Luo Yan shook her head, moved closer to him and rested her head on his lap, asking in a casual tone, "You can't sleep, can you?"
Zhu Yun paused, and after a moment said, "What would you like to eat? Should we order a meal or go to the main hall?"
After entering the Congcui Palace, Luo Yan always felt restless.
The surrounding environment always made her feel very unfamiliar, and the gazes of those unfamiliar palace maids made her feel ashamed.
"I...I think I'll go back to the Prince's mansion...I have no status or identity here..."
She didn't want to wear Zhu Yun's mother's old clothes and live in the place where Zhu Yun and Xiao Yun lived.
The old palace maid gave a practiced smile:
“You’re so silly, girl. Whether you have a title or not, becoming the Marquis of Yun is just a matter of the prince’s word… You should just obediently follow his arrangements, and the Marquis of Yun will still be yours.”
The old palace maid's slightly puzzled voice immediately angered Luo Yan, who glared angrily at her slightly drooping eyes.
What did she take her for? A sycophantic plaything?
She really didn't want to stay in the Congcui Palace for even a second longer.
The old palace maid chuckled softly.
"Young lady, you are truly unpredictable. Your temper reminds me of someone..."
Luo Yan impatiently took off her old clothes.
"I can't afford to serve such an expensive thing. Please put it away quickly and give me a new outfit. Also, don't talk nonsense. I have nothing to do with Zhu Yun."
Helpless, the old palace maid could only bring her a newly tailored dark green ruqun (a type of traditional Chinese dress).
"The prince is now taking over the affairs of the palace... The prince is kind-hearted and gave each of the old concubines a sum of money to remarry and return home... It seems that he also plans to abolish the six palaces and hold a grand election... The palace servants were also given a sum of money each, and a small portion of them were laid off and released from the palace."
"Oh, right, the eunuchs have also been abolished by the prince. The prince has always been considerate of us servants. From now on, we can take two days off for every five days we work, and we can even leave the palace during our leave."
Luo Yan frowned.
"Stop nagging, what does it have to do with me, I don't want to hear it."
Yes, it's true that Zhu Yun is about to take control of the power, but that will only make it easier for him to torment her.
Not to mention that she even got pregnant with the first imperial child before the Empress, without any official status. Even if Zhu Yun spared her life, how could his future wife tolerate her giving birth to the first child before him?
His future wife will definitely see her as a great threat, but only Luo Yan herself knows that she is nothing in Zhu Yun's eyes.
Luo Yan's background wasn't even that of a humble family, and she had no intention of overestimating herself by getting involved in palace intrigue.
Moreover, having a child with Zhu Yun means she'll be bound to him for life... When the time comes, that child will call Zhu Yun "father" and her "mother"...
Just thinking about that moment made Luo Yan feel disgusted and resistant. She could accept playing around with a man like Zhu Yun a few times, but she didn't want to stay by his side for the rest of her life.
She must get rid of this child quietly... but if she acts rashly, her life may be in danger.
Zhu Yun was just as restless as Luo Yan, unable to concentrate on his official duties.
Whenever he thought that Luo Yan might not love him, a feeling of fear and unease would arise deep within him, as if Luo Yan had done something against the natural order of things to him.
A gloomy, cold sense of desolation spread from his throat, growing larger and larger. He didn't want to get caught up in this dilemma of gain and loss, like throwing a fish out of the water onto the shore, where even with a desperate struggle, it couldn't move forward even half a step.
He had to see her... He wanted to feel the icy temperature of her fingers. If he could warm her fingertips with his palm, he could deceive himself that Luo Yan's fingertips were warm for him.
As he entered the Congcui Hall, he thought of his mother.
She always looked at him coldly and hysterically yelled at him. He knew his mother didn't love him, but he understood her.
After all, serving such a deformed and ugly monster as the late emperor would drive anyone mad. He didn't blame her; he only hated his "father," who had no blood relation to him, for using a poison to make his mother appear mentally impaired, turning her into a monster without joy or anger.
In the final moments of her life, all he wanted was for her to speak to him again, even if it was just to hit or scold him... but she had been so badly wronged that she couldn't utter a single word.
The royal family is clearly a deformed and ugly monster, yet they harm one healthy and beautiful woman after another in order to continue the family line... Zhu Yun despises such a royal family.
He truly wished he had no royal blood at all and was the product of an affair.
But he was also afraid that he was truly a lucky person blessed by God, and that he still had that deformed bloodline in his body... He was afraid that the retribution for those deformed legs would befall his next generation.
Upon entering the Congcui Palace, Luo Yan's arm, like a cold, green snake, extended to the foot of the bed. He went over and took her hand; at least Luo Yan loved him.
"Even if I ascend the throne, I will not produce offspring for the royal family to continue the lineage..."
He felt the warmth of her hand against his cheek. Zhu Yun was silent for a moment, surprised that he had said something he didn't want to say and didn't even know where it came from.
He was practically making some kind of promise to Luo Yan. What was this? A promise to never betray her?
He couldn't possibly utter many heartfelt words to Luo Yan; this was already the biggest concession he could make...
Zhu Yun realized she couldn't show weakness any longer, so she forced herself to add:
"Unless someone can change my mind."
His lips trembled slightly as he mustered his courage to look up at her expression.
She seemed to be planning how to turn his concessions into a whip to lash him, to abuse him by taking advantage of his helplessness.
Zhu Yun thought to himself, "Well, there's nothing I can do about it, so I'll just have to accept it."
He felt a cowardly yet nauseating satisfaction, like succumbing to a base temptation, and he didn't know whether he should feel disgust or joy.
The palace maids tactfully went out, but only stood a few steps away from the palace. It wasn't hard to guess what was happening inside.
Zhu Yun reached out to untie the knot in the front of her clothes, but she stopped him.
Do you want all the palace maids to know?
The humiliation made Luo Yan blush, and her tone revealed a hint of resentment.
She didn't want to earn such a reputation in the palace, as if she had been suddenly desecrated.
Zhu Yun sneered:
"Do you think anyone doesn't know this now? These days, even a widow who glances at a man will be gossiped about. Who would believe that a man and a woman living together for six years can remain innocent?"
Luo Yan gritted her teeth and cursed resentfully:
"Anyway, it's none of your business!"
It's so unfair... She glanced at him sideways, thinking resentfully, why could he destroy her life and then easily walk away, even ascending the throne without any consequences?
She was just a commoner's daughter, yet a nobleman, on a whim, pulled her into a decadent and luxurious carriage.
The desire to live and hatred resurfaced within her.
If she wanted to die, she could simply ignore Zhu Yun in despair. But if she wanted to live, Zhu Yun was a monster she had to face, an obstacle to her survival, and a mistake that had to be resolved.
He reached his hand directly under her skirt and felt her knees trembling slightly.
"Luo Yan, what does your dreamer Yunhou dream about?"
"I don't dream."
She said it with absolute certainty.
"Although I don't sleep very soundly, I don't dream."
She placed her hands on his shoulders, trying to push him away. His shoulders were broad, so she could only spread her arms wide, which in turn gave Zhu Yun an opportunity, like a silent invitation.
"I don't want to live here...I want to go back..."
Some of the palace maids were like wooden puppets, which made Luo Yan feel uneasy. For no reason, she began to miss Jinzhan's cunning and self-righteous appearance. She felt that Jinzhan was unpredictable, with Yunhou as the prince's eyes and ears, and Yunhou would also stand on the side of the common people.
You'll have to get used to it.
"Zhu Yun, do you like it here?"
She looked at him in surprise, as if she had never known him before.
"I don't like it, but I can't do everything according to my whims."
Zhu Yun lowered his head, intending to kiss her collarbone; she truly had nowhere to hide.
Why did you do this to me?
Luo Yan frowned and covered her face with a handkerchief as she asked.
She didn't receive a formal reply from him, only a kiss on her neck and a vague silence.
Luo Yan also knew that as long as she learned to accept her fate, take a step back, and lower her standards, she could avoid being tortured. As long as she could numb her heart, the pain would no longer be unbearable.
If she had never experienced happiness and love, she could have lived numbly. But she was originally well-fed and clothed, living a simple and happy life with loving parents.
In desperation, she grabbed his hair and yanked it hard.
"Speak! Why are you doing this to me!"
Her body was constantly being squeezed, her head was pushed out of the window, and her carefully maintained black hair fell onto the many layers of carpets on the floor.
Luo Yan looked at her hair and skin. Zhu Yun spent a lot of money on her every year to maintain her beauty, but she felt no gratitude, because it was no different from him spending money to maintain a carriage.
The only difference is that no one would ask the carriage owner to be grateful, but people often ask her to thank Zhu Yun for the luxurious life he gave her.
Zhu Yun responded with silence and further physical contact, knowing that Luo Yan was trying to force him to admit he loved her.
He looked into Luo Yan's eyes as if they were two dark mirrors reflecting his helplessness and madness.
He had already made that promise to be loyal to her forever, so she couldn't possibly not know that he loved her. She was just being malicious and forcing him to say it out loud.
"Because you absolutely cannot leave me..."
Zhu Yun wore a sarcastic smile, as if saying this would give him the upper hand.
He was like a bottle filled with water, pouring out his full desires onto her.
He confirmed the shape of her bones with his palm. Without a doubt, Luo Yan was the only real person he relied on, the only source of love. He was very satisfied and never thought of replacing her with someone else.
When Zhu Yun first met Luo Yan, he knew that she was destined to become something to him, and he felt a sense of resistance and fear towards it.
He didn't know how things would have changed if he had pushed Luo Yan away on the day she clung to him for comfort after losing both her parents.
He raised his eyebrows and said, word by word, "I will be jealous."
"Huh?" The teasing smile vanished instantly.
Zhu Yun looked into her eyes: "I want you to only hug me, kiss me, and preferably only look at me."
Her face flushed instantly, and her long eyelashes trembled at an unusual frequency, like two beautiful night butterflies.
She's still as shy as ever.
Zhu Yun's gaze softened, sweeping over her before finally settling on the girl's full breasts: "This place is different from last night."
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